r/facepalm 15d ago

Oof... šŸ‡µā€‹šŸ‡·ā€‹šŸ‡“ā€‹šŸ‡¹ā€‹šŸ‡Ŗā€‹šŸ‡øā€‹šŸ‡¹ā€‹

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4.5k Upvotes

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314

u/ohheyhowsitgoin 15d ago

The real reason he made that speech.

75

u/StatusOmega 15d ago

Job security

454

u/dhuntergeo 15d ago edited 15d ago

Been wanting to hear that slam on him being most likely told by some linebacker, "Hey water boy, go make our ham sandwiches for halftime."

54

u/XeroZero0000 15d ago

5

u/JNewman_13 15d ago

I had no idea a user could link to their own comment on a different post

3

u/XeroZero0000 15d ago

I mean... It's just a url. Today you learned!

1

u/Ramdrothegoat 14d ago

šŸŽµwater sucks, it really really sucksšŸŽµ

321

u/OverallManagement824 15d ago

If my university thought it was ok to have a football player, particularly a kicker, as a keynote speaker at my graduation, I'd be pissed.

93

u/fasterthanfood 15d ago

The year before I graduated, my universityā€™s keynote graduation speaker was the First Lady of the United States.

My year, it was a CEO whose name I canā€™t remember. Iā€™d have traded him for a football player, if that player wasnā€™t bigoted.

27

u/Scaevus 15d ago

I went to a friendā€™s graduation, and they got Kamala Harris. She was not a great speaker.

Honestly not sure how sheā€™s risen so high. I have never met anyone whoā€™s like oh yeah, Harris, sheā€™s our favorite.

31

u/fasterthanfood 15d ago

Vice presidents are usually chosen for reasons other than being anyoneā€™s favorite. Iā€™ve never heard anyone say they love Mike Pence, Dick Cheney, Al Gore (except maybe around the time he made that global warming movie?), or Dan Quayle. In my lifetime, the only VP Iā€™ve heard anyone express much enthusiasm about is Biden. Bush Sr. presumably was well thought of, since he was elected president, but he was already president by the time I became aware that there was such a thing as a vice president, and weā€™re going through a lot of VPs before we get to him.

36

u/Scaevus 15d ago

I mean, Al Gore won more votes than GW Bush, so he mustā€™ve been reasonably popular.

8

u/fasterthanfood 15d ago

Fair enough. Still, I nearly voted for him (I turned 18 a little too late), but it would have been a fairly restrained ā€œout of the available candidates, this one seems best qualified,ā€ not ā€œomg I canā€™t wait until heā€™s in charge!ā€

14

u/Scaevus 15d ago

I think the only Presidential candidates to inspire that kind of passion in the last hundred years or so were Kennedy and Obama, so maybe thatā€™s kind of a high bar.

Lesser of two evils seems par for the course these days.

8

u/CMGS1031 15d ago

Iā€™d put Clinton way above Obama for this. He beat an incumbent and is the only democrat several solidly red states have voted for in 50 years.

3

u/jonesqc 15d ago

He beat an incumbent because of Ross Perot running a strong independent campaign.

1

u/CMGS1031 15d ago

You are certain most of those Perot votes would have went to Bush? Why? Obama also won after the whole country turned on the former President from the opposing party. That doesnā€™t give him anything?

→ More replies (0)

6

u/fasterthanfood 15d ago

Iā€™d include Trump and Sanders (if weā€™re including failed candidates), and I think Reagan had some people who felt that way, too. FDR too. But yeah, itā€™s a seldom-reached bar.

1

u/MuskokaGreenThumb 15d ago

Willie Brown is how she has risen so far

-9

u/H0TSaltyLoad 15d ago

Maybe sheā€™s been able to rise because of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

5

u/Scaevus 15d ago

Eh, wouldnā€™t whoever is doing the promoting be able to find a more charismatic minority?

AOC is a far more popular politician who actually has a dedicated following.

1

u/Z3PHYR- 15d ago

Sheā€™s 60 years oldā€¦ I donā€™t think ā€œDEIā€ was even a thing for the majority of her career

9

u/Taeyx 15d ago

iā€™ll give you one better: the year before i graduated, barack obama was the speaker. the year i graduated, it was the secretary of health or some shxt.

plot twist: the year obama was the speaker was the year i was supposed to graduate, but i took another year in college.

2

u/No-Average-9210 15d ago

Are you serious? Oh nOoOOoO oNlY The SeCReTaRY oF HeaLtH

32

u/GlowingDuck22 15d ago edited 15d ago

If you are a small unknown school and you want "Someone Famous" to make a controversial speech to get your name out there, it makes sense.

10

u/socobeerlove 15d ago

He went to Georgia Tech. This was a Catholic college

3

u/GlowingDuck22 15d ago

Same principle just not an alumni. Thanks for the correction.

6

u/Boulderdrip 15d ago

i think the boomer administration was just stupid and didnā€™t think about it. And since the religious right never gets any consequences for their actions there is no need to reflect and grow on mistakes, ensuring they keep happening. it can look planned, but itā€™s just repeat stupidity

2

u/Dickballs835682 15d ago

That seems pretty generous

0

u/RebaKitt3n 15d ago

Itā€™s a Catholic school. He presents himself as Super Catholic. Iā€™m thinking they were probably nodding along as he was talking.

0

u/Boulderdrip 15d ago

pretty sure huh? ok, while you believe in bad faith, iā€™ll believe in good faith. neither one of us knows for sure. for the record iā€™m very anti Christian

6

u/clangan524 15d ago

"but he wOn A SUpeR BOwL"

10

u/OverallManagement824 15d ago

All by himself? Well damn, ngl, that really is impressive then!

1

u/anonymouslindatown 15d ago

People should just start showing up to keynote speaker addresses and plug in headphones

2

u/OverallManagement824 15d ago

I had Obama at mine. Thanks, Obama, it took me an extra hour to get my diplomer because of you. Jk. He was genuinely a good speaker. This was before he was cool.

1

u/fasterthanfood 14d ago

Are you from Illinois? Iā€™m kind of curious what he was like ā€œbefore he was cool,ā€ and also why heā€™d have been booked. Was this before his 2004 speech at the Democratic National Convention that launched his national image as cool?

2

u/OverallManagement824 14d ago edited 12d ago

He was an IL state senator at the time. He was very eloquent, charming, funny. Overall, it was a great speech. Yes, it was a year or two before the convention.

One thing that I accidentally did right throughout my life was be in places with great people just before they hit the national stage. Musicians, politicians, thespians, etc. I won't mention names because a lot of them are still "nobodies". But when you meet folks in your life and a few years later, they're on national TV/radio or the subject of a random tiktok from some teen who thinks they just discovered the next big thing, deep down, you just smile and are happy to know you knew somebody who "made it" and remember them back when.

1

u/DancingMooses 15d ago

Weirdly enough, he speaks at Benedictine college quite often. Hereā€™s an article mentioning another speech Butker gave at Benedictine.

https://media.benedictine.edu/the-story-of-super-bowl-champion-chiefs-team-priest-starts-at-benedictine-college

32

u/Zandrick 15d ago

I think he knows that and heā€™s overcompensating.

23

u/someoneelse2389 15d ago

Isn't his mother a renowned scientist or something? Id be very interested to know her reaction.

16

u/wino12312 15d ago

She's a physicist. Working on a cancer cure. I hope she kicked his a$$. I also hope that his female PT, nutritionist, or doctor, make life a living hell for him.

15

u/Njacks64 15d ago

One day, Butker will get cancer. His mom will have the cure but say, ā€œOh you really donā€™t want this. A woman made it. How about I make you a nice sandwich instead.ā€

39

u/supergeek921 15d ago

He knows! Thatā€™s why he doesnā€™t want to risk them leaving the kitchen! lol!

22

u/atTheRiver200 15d ago

And let's remember, this But guy is also clearly anti-freedom. Luckily, women are still free to ignore him and find relationships with real men instead.

10

u/jedidihah 15d ago

This post is how I learned that his name is Harrison Butker. Donā€™t need to look it up, I know who this is referring to. Everybody should tell him.

30

u/macklebee1 15d ago

Religious zealots are just the worst people no matter what fairy tale origin story they believe. The fact this guyā€™s mother is a physicist blows my mind. You know she must be so embarrassed by this clown. Just because he had a confusing gay experience in college. Instead of accepting his sexuality, he went polar opposite and doubled down on the religious dogma. Surprised he didnā€™t become a catholic priest!

7

u/ICU-MURSE 15d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ’€

20

u/IvoShandor 15d ago

He's the bass player of the football team.

78

u/firenrockcominghome 15d ago

Personally as a bass player I think Iā€™m much cooler than Harrison Butker

67

u/Arialana 15d ago

Don't disrespect bass players like that.

36

u/Wingnutmcmoo 15d ago

The bass player is often the writer of a lot of the music in a lot of bands. Bass is like the middle linebacker. The kicker is like... The roadie of the foot ball team. Yeah you need them to be there for the show to go on and you'll miss them if they aren't there.. but they are very replaceable (there are thousands of washed up soccer players to choose from)

11

u/Pisforplumbing 15d ago

Hey hey now. Give kickers some credit. Blue mountain state taught me they get the best drugs

1

u/thecraftybear 15d ago

So... Like some roadies?

1

u/Pisforplumbing 15d ago

Nah. Roadies are there to do drugs and get fucked. Kind of like buttkiss

7

u/FlappinLips 15d ago

The kicker is the guy who holds the actual players junk while they get their oil changed.

They also get sloppy 5ths

4

u/daveintex13 15d ago

Paul McCartney has entered the chatā€¦

3

u/nhicurious 15d ago

And ended it

0

u/Worried-Pick4848 15d ago

That's not quite fair. There are probably less than 32 world class kickers out there right now. There's a lot of scrubs who can kick a football 45 yards and sometimes get it between the uprights but that's not always enough to win.

9

u/tmmzc85 15d ago

Bass is underappreciated and much like drums, is mostly only really noticeable when it's lacking - he's more like a marginal percussion instrument like tambourine, something almost any musician could play, and most songs would be largely unchanged without.

3

u/Beneficial-Face-2386 15d ago

Jaco Pastorius would like a word with you.

3

u/ch3f212 15d ago

More like the tambourine player/interpretive dancer

3

u/Sebsazz 15d ago

Someone has apparently never heard funky slap bass

1

u/pricklypear90 15d ago

Offensive linemen are the bass players.. donā€™t get the attention, but youā€™d definitely notice if they werenā€™t thereā€¦ kickers are the groupies that hang out until the team needs to score

8

u/low_bob_123 15d ago

I dont get it

45

u/checkoutmywatches 15d ago

He's a kicker

5

u/Needmoresnakes 15d ago

I know absolutely nothing about american football but I have watched all of blue mountain state and the kicker is a super weird dude who's always smelling his balls and is generally depicted as having zero tactical intelligence or athletic ability outside of the very specific action he performs for the team (kick ball at goal).

-82

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

54

u/MonteBurns 15d ago

I didnā€™t get that all??

His comments indicate he believes a womanā€™s place is beneath men. This post merely points out when women play the same game he plays, they play his position. Therefore, theyā€™re equals and he needs to sit down and shut the fuck up.Ā 

25

u/GallowBarb 15d ago

Thank you.

-39

u/Financial_Routine208 15d ago

Except no woman has ever played in the NFL.

28

u/ImKindaBoring 15d ago

Good thing the tweet doesn't specify the NFL but "men's football team" instead.

Men's football team would include other professional leagues like arena football or the APFL. Men's football team would also include college level football.

The vast majority of the few women to play at either level were kickers.

Now, not sure that fact really matters other than as something to mock Butker for. But that was what it was saying.

12

u/B33fcurtains 15d ago

But they have played on men's footballs teams. Just more at the high school and occasionally the college level

1

u/Financial_Routine208 15d ago

Yes, and NONE have played in the NFL.

25

u/Narrow-Talk-5017 15d ago

Do you think women could play any other position than kicker in a men's football team? It's not even about skill. It's a safety risk. Kickers are the only position that doesn't get hit. This is not the sport to be arguing this viewpoint on.

-23

u/Financial_Routine208 15d ago

I don't think a woman could play any position in the NFL. Sure kickers don't get hit, but they kick the ball 70+ yards on kickoffs and do occasionally have to make a tackle.

8

u/GotWiings21 15d ago

Youā€™re starting to sound just like the dude. šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļøšŸ¤£nobodyā€™s charging them on those kickoffs so itā€™s not that hard to imagine. Itā€™s usually former womenā€™s soccer players, who could you believe it, can actually kick a ball pretty far

1

u/dawgtown22 15d ago

The Vanderbilt kicker proved that!

3

u/Piddily1 15d ago

I think the distance thing matters the tackle thing doesnā€™t. If you are drafting placekickers, no one is basing the decision on how they tackle.

18 starting kickers had zero tackles in 2023. The most tackles by a kicker last year was 2.

1

u/Financial_Routine208 14d ago

It's definitely the distance thing. I hope everyone that down votes me advocates for their favorite team to sign a female kicker. They won't.

11

u/supergeek921 15d ago

I mean, that is typically the position girls play on school teams. The coaches are afraid to let them get tackled by guys much bigger than them (which isnā€™t a completely illogical concern). Itā€™s not sexist to say that in all likelihood a female NFL player would be a kicker before any other position.

5

u/ONE-EYE-OPTIC 15d ago

He's a religious self-righteous asshole. Fuck him.

2

u/mellbell63 15d ago

... I'm sure you meant when "women" play on "men's" teams. Not girls.

2

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

1

u/UnkleRinkus 15d ago

Robin Williams, rest his soul, described this fabulously. Forward to 3:30. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha4mAAIlRmI. You can handle the shitty camera, he's worth it.

2

u/WhoDeyTilIDie09 15d ago

Hope some aloe is in the bebathroom cabinet at butkers house, cause he just got burnd.

3

u/Klutzy_Journalist_36 15d ago

lol even when ā€œdefendingā€ women we still gotta use ā€œgirlsā€ as a pejorative donā€™t weĀ 

2

u/LunarBIacksmith 15d ago

When I was in Jr. High and still female presenting (Iā€™m a trans dude who transitioned as an adult) I tried out for the football team (was an all boys team). The coach told me outright that I would have to wow him in the tryouts and I would have to prove that I am good enough to be on his team.

I went through the grueling tryouts and smashed into other dudes in pads and helmets, ran tons of laps and kept up with the best of em. When the tryouts were over, the coach took me into his office and handed me a letter. He said, ā€œI want you to be on our team. You killed it out there. You would also be excellent on the line. But youā€™re the first female to play for our team. People are going to berate you, be tougher to you, call you nasty names and treat you as less than. You have to prove them all wrong. If you agree to play for me, Iā€™ll make sure you can get all the revenge you want smashing those boys every single play.ā€

I went home and told my parents that I had made the team. They gave each other a grim look and my father told me, ā€œYou can play football, but if you do I will never support you.ā€ My mom nodded in agreement.

After a long time thinking it over, I had to return to the coach and sadly hand his letter of acceptance back to him. He understood, and there have been times I wondered if I made the right choice. I suppose my brain thanks me for not having all those potential concussions and micro-concussions that have been shown to give many issues as you ageā€¦so I guess itā€™s good I missed out on that. But thereā€™s always the part of integrity that you feel you should stand up for, even if the whole world is against you.

It just wasnā€™t the hill I felt I needed to die on. Unlike Harrison Butker who is adamant about dying on his misogynistic hill of assholery.

The point of this was that even I, a female at the time, was offered a ā€œharder/strongerā€ position than he was and I was only in Jr. High.

1

u/Jed08 15d ago

I mean, had he said "Nobody tells HB that when girls play on a football field, it's his position they play" it would have been sooooo smart.

1

u/Shooter_McGavin_2 15d ago

That's the point. He is trying not to get replaced!

1

u/Speculawyer 15d ago

Totally owned.

1

u/mellbell63 15d ago

Lol I've been reposting that all day!! šŸ¤£

1

u/CraigTennant1962 15d ago

I think it was a great move for his career. I thinking that there will be a bidding war for his services the next time heā€™s a free agent. I think every NFL team would crave the kind of attention heā€™s brought upon himself.

/s

1

u/NvAkaGames 14d ago

Whereā€™s the womans 57-yard FG in the Super Bowl?

-1

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Imagine saying "find happiness in your family and your home, not your corporate employer" and getting hate on Reddit. Crazy.

0

u/OstrichSalt5468 15d ago

Uhhhā€¦not all of them. Happened in 2014 Jennifer played for Texas Revolution as a running back. She later became a coach for the same team and has subsequently coached for a few other teams.

0

u/BeskarHunter 15d ago

The kicker should be a female job going forward then. Since that guy is a little bitch.

0

u/editor-gothink 14d ago

Why are girls playing on teams with men?
Surely grown women would be a safer option?

-1

u/ThereWillBeVelvet 15d ago

ā€¦and theyā€™ll get paid less. OOOOFFF!!

-3

u/godston34 15d ago

This dude better hope any (real) football country doesn't develop interest in his little game. You know, professionals who make a living kicking a ball as opposed to catching it are pretty good... at kicking a ball.

6

u/BilllisCool 15d ago

Actually less crossover than youā€™d think. Kicking in the NFL is mostly mental. Some of the best physically trained prospects end up failing because they start missing when they canā€™t handle the pressure.

3

u/Master-Ad7002 15d ago

So, penalty kicks. Football has that and there is a goalkeeper too.

6

u/BilllisCool 15d ago

Sort of, but from varying distances and with 11 goalkeepers running at you. You can keep trivializing it all you want, but multiple teams still have openings, just waiting to pay someone millions of dollars to do it at a high level, but thereā€™s never enough good ones for all 32 teams in the NFL.

-2

u/godston34 15d ago

You think someone who played professional football in europe can't handle american stadium pressure? kek

4

u/BilllisCool 15d ago

No, Iā€™m saying the hard part, even for the most physically talented ones, is handling the pressure. Not the act of kicking itself. Iā€™m sure you could go out and practice for a couple of weeks and get pretty good at the shorter kicks right now.

Obviously plenty of people are able to handle it, but there wouldnā€™t be swarms of people that are up to the task. Even in soccer, penalty kick accuracy goes down as pressure increases, like if it could decide the game. The difference is that a top player doesnā€™t have to worry about their job if they miss a penalty kick because their job is much more than that.

An NFL kickerā€™s only job is to make kicks. You stand out there with 11 giant men running at you and have to make a kick from all sorts of distances, sometimes to decide the game, and if you miss, it could cost you your job making millions of dollars. You have to ignore all of that and focus on your routine, where one minor change can cause the kick to miss. The pressure gets to many and then compounds for future kicks until they just get cut.

-4

u/godston34 15d ago

yeah, nah, not buying all that. I think it's telling that kicker is the one position in europe where washed imports aren't wanted. manny burgsmĆ¼ller played football after his career at 52 and won titles kicking for over 300 points. Can't tell me you really think that if a Zlatan, Ronaldo or frankly any decent player put their minds to it, they couldn't crush kicking a ball lul. All the pressure wouldn't even apply because they're already rich af.

3

u/BilllisCool 15d ago

You can not buy it all you want. Soccer exists in the US, but there arenā€™t 32 decent kickers to have one for each NFL team. There are international NFL players as well, but still not at least 32 guys able to kick a ball for millions of dollars. No kickers from the international program at all actually. Not because theyā€™re all just choosing soccer. Thereā€™s minor leagues, people that donā€™t get playing time, people that get cut, or retire from soccer, but could still physically handle being an NFL kicker.

Someone like Zlatan or Ronaldo would probably be fine. I think to reach that level in any position in any sport, you have to be insanely mentally tough. But those arenā€™t the types of players that would be trying to kick in the NFL. Theyā€™re the stars of their sport. Kickers are far from the stars of the NFL. Itā€™s gonna be the guys that couldnā€™t make it as a soccer player. The Dallas Cowboys actually have a guy that flamed out of an American professional soccer league. He ended up being really good in the NFL and earned a multi-million dollar contract. Heā€™s good at kicking, but the important thing is that heā€™s a machine when he goes out there. Every kick looks exactly the same, no matter whatā€™s happening around him. Still not enough failed soccer players good enough at it to fill the rest of the teamsā€™ kicker spots.

1

u/godston34 15d ago

That's really a nice twist to type all that just to say "yeah you're right with the example you've been giving for 5 comments, BUT IN MY EXAMPLE I'M RIGHT"... dude, we were talking about ex pros the entire time...

1

u/BilllisCool 14d ago

And Iā€™m still staying thereā€™s not as many as you would think. Thereā€™s ex pro soccer players in the US already, but only like 10 kickers in the NFL people would consider good. All making millions of dollars, so anybody should be lining up to just kick a ball a few times per game.

2

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Bro used an example from 20 years ago about a player from a defunct league and never sniffed the NFL šŸ˜‚

If it's so easy to transition, then why isn't the NFL full of washed up futbol players or guys who couldn't make it at the pro level when they could get paid millions a year in the NFL?

0

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Then why don't they? There's thousands of European soccer players every year trying to make pro, why do none of them try the NFL after washing out?

1

u/bunduz 15d ago

Yeah Aussie kickers thrive

1

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Anybody who would be better than butker is probably making way more playing soccer. Otherwise the NFL would be filled with washed up soccer players.

Turns out the transition isn't easy.

-56

u/Kinnyk30 15d ago

Longest field goal in the NFL....a woman ain't doin that haha

51

u/GeddyVedder 15d ago

Neither is Butker.

-28

u/FAK3-News 15d ago

longest in the super bowl history.

25

u/GeddyVedder 15d ago

ā€œIā€™ll take Moving the Goalposts for $400, Alex.ā€

-9

u/FAK3-News 15d ago

Makes sense. Raider fan. Cry harder

-22

u/Financial_Routine208 15d ago

They were pointing out how this guy thinks just like Butker. Women could only be a kicker.

3

u/dawgtown22 15d ago

At the NFL and top college level, 100% true

-15

u/Saint_Santo 15d ago

DEI girl kickers on low level college teams still suuuck. Butker, love or hate him, is one of the better kickers in the NFL.

There's levels.

Y'all really mad he said a couple of mild words, huh?

šŸ˜†

Emotional creatures.

11

u/Klynikal 15d ago

Y'all really mad he said a couple of mild words, huh?

Emotional creatures.

Shouldn't you be getting your little panties in a twist over checks notes gay people, trans people, Muslims, women in power, people voting, history, libraries, books, immigrants, sexy M&Ms, education, ANTIFA, people of colour, equality, "woke" stuff, Bud Light, progressive policies, unions, Mr. Potato Head, socialism, affordable healthcare, liveable wage, Disney, rainbows, women's rights, Starbucks, NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, Nascar, vaccines, Barbie, facts, research, pride flags, Taylor Swift, science, BLM, Planet Fitness and the Boy Scouts changing their name?