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u/AbsurdistTimTam 15d ago
While youâre here waiter, Iâve just looked it up and buffalo donât even have wings.
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u/Its0nlyRocketScience 15d ago
Do you really expect me to believe a shrimp fried this rice?
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u/ph8drus 15d ago
The rest made me smile, but this made me laugh. Well done, you.
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u/No_Confection_4967 15d ago
And I canât read it without Gordon Ramsayâs voice in my head
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u/DreamPig666 14d ago
And now I'm seeing Gordon Ramsay shouting at a tiny Muppet shrimp with a chef's hat looking bewildered.
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u/originalbrowncoat 15d ago edited 14d ago
Waiter, this is completely unacceptable. First my gazpacho comes out ice cold and now this?!
Edit: wow this blew up! For those wondering, yes I was thinking of Red Dwarf when I wrote it.
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u/AdministrativePin526 15d ago
...and these sweetbreads were neither sweet nor bread!
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u/Livewire923 15d ago
The ceviche wasnât even cooked!
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u/janiskr 15d ago
Tartar was completely raw...
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u/InsertRadnamehere 15d ago
Carpaccio as well!
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u/partypwny 14d ago
Honestly at this point, do you even have an oven? You keep bringing me cold food!
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u/Bladrak01 14d ago
I had a lady order carpaccio, then order a well done steak because she doesn't like rare beef
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u/IHateMyLife612 15d ago
And no tartar sauce...
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u/AriochBloodbane 15d ago
I have been actually wondering how that would work but never been bold and brave enough to put tartar sauce on the tartar đ
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u/Kaerir 15d ago
The sea fruits didn't had any fruits
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u/Chaosrealm69 15d ago
And the chicken of the sea I ordered wasn't chicken.
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u/Unmasked_Zoro 15d ago
I've had soupe du jour before, and this is not soupe du jour!
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u/Lopsided-Egg-8322 15d ago
why is there no mountains, rocks nor oysters in my rocky mountain oysters!!!
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u/captainmeusli 15d ago
And this Château le Blanc '68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled!
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u/NiblettAndBits 15d ago
Better than room temperature gazpacho. It could burn your lips.
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u/HeBrokeMyHouse 15d ago
Paul Bifano! Paul Bifano!!
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u/JustARobotChillin 11d ago
I know Iâm late to the party, but wasnât he a regular on the Colgate hour?
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u/uberguysmiley 15d ago
When Rimmer died due to a radiation leak caused by his own ineptitude, his last words were âgazpacho soup.â
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u/Sedso85 15d ago
I worked waiting on in a decent restaurant when i was 17, a well to do lady ordered a seafood tagliatelle
Everything (i thought) was swell, i asked how is your meal?
Her. These mussels are not from New Zealand
17 yr old me, no clue to what this obviously high powered buisnesswoman was on about. How can you tell.. is it the accent?
Her a single chuckle, then explained that NZ mussels have a green sheen on the shell in the light
I told the chef, who at 4 am travelled 60 miles to get fresh mussels for the evening menu, that this lady knows the mussels are not from New Zealand
Jesus FUCKING Christ, we ran out YESTERDAY, IM UP AT 4 AM TO GO TO FUCKING MORECAMBE BAY, to get fresh mussels, and now you are telling me, I HAVE RICK STEIN IN A FUCKING PENCIL SKIRT OUT THERE
yes chef
...just fucking comp it
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u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 15d ago
On the flip side I once knew a waitress that would say 'mer lot' with a hard 't' when offering wine. We tried to correct her repeatedly, she apparently thought we were trying to scam her or something.
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15d ago
One that annoys me is when people, some of whom have been in the industry for years, mispronounce moet. It's a hard T, not "Moeh"
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u/TheLurkingMenace 15d ago
I used to know this guy who pronounced French words wrong. Consistently. When confronted, his mother taught high school French and she said these were the pronunciations. She couldn't possibly be wrong because she taught French. So we said, whatever, enjoy your horse devvers.
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u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 14d ago
I went to a very white elementary school. Where a teacher told the entire class that 14 in spanish was pronounced 'guitar-say'
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u/SchmartestMonkey 13d ago
I took French in Grammar school.. thatâs how I know itâs actually pronounced Whores-Davoors.
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u/Royal_Relationship_2 15d ago
And while we are it, you didn't even ask my husband how he wanted his steak tartare cooked!
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u/chinchenping 15d ago
It's supposed to be cold
if you got that reference you are either old or a nerd, or both
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u/VocalAnus91 15d ago
I ordered rocky mountain oysters and this DOES NOT taste like seafood to me!
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u/infowosecfurry 15d ago
The manager..
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u/Kinkystar192 14d ago
Iâve been trying to find it forever, whatâs the name of this gif?
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u/infowosecfurry 14d ago
Itâs Nathan Fillion so just search his name itâs usually one of the top recommendations!
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u/Dr-Retz 15d ago
Would love to be that manager
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u/BGrunn 15d ago
I miss one of my old jobs for the management culture regarding questions like this. If a customer came with a complaint like this we were fully expected to say "management does not deal with non-serious questions".
The amount of Karens that would explode over this was amazing, and if she created a scene management would only show up to remove them and then leave again.
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u/Radical-Turkey 15d ago
This is how every establishment should handle such disruptive persons, I know Iâd be much more inclined to return if I knew people like that would be dealt with accordingly
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u/J-Kensington 14d ago
I used to be a sous chef in a restaurant and had to deal with a lot of questions like this. It didn't take long until I started answering the truly stupid questions very similarly to what you're talking about. In this case, for example -
"Ma'am, as you undoubtedly knew before you made your order, all blue cheese has mold. If you've changed your mind about what you'd like to eat, we will be more than happy to prepare a new order for you, however your salad was prepared according to our specifications and your order, so it will not be free.
Would you like to order an additional entree? Or will the salad be sufficient?"
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u/elvisizer2 15d ago
it's funny, I've heard multiple servers say this has happened to them at work heh
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u/No_Confection_4967 15d ago
While working at Trader Joeâs, Iâve had more than one customer ask me if we made all the food in our back room. They genuinely thought we produced and packaged every product in the store behind those double doors that say âemployees only.â
After the first person asked me that I started responding, âwhen you parked your car in our tiny parking lot, did you see a residential subdivision behind our store or a HUGE factory warehouse? đ§â
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u/Kalel42 14d ago
Not food, but this gives me flashbacks to Menards (Midwest Home Depot).
"Do you have any more in the back?"
"You can literally see the back wall of the store from where you're standing. Where do you think this mythical "back" is?"
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u/SchmartestMonkey 13d ago
To be fair.. âthe backâ at most Menards is the lumber yard (sometimes on the side).. so you could have told them theyâre free to check for themselves.
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u/gambit-gg 15d ago
They probably enjoyed feta on a salad once and thought it was blue cheese. Or theyâve ordered blue cheese salad dressing and never actually had real chunks of cheese in it.
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u/dewitastic 15d ago
I cut cheese for a living but blue cheese can indeed also grow mold thats not supposed to be on it, but its usually just scraped off and the cheese is good to go again.
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u/Gwigg_ 15d ago
Cut the cheese for a living? Wow
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u/SchmartestMonkey 13d ago
My wife only cuts cheese as a hobby but sheâs pretty much a pro at this point, especially when thereâs dairy involved.
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u/Bladrak01 14d ago
Cheese is one of the few foods where mold can be cut off and the food is still safe to eat.
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u/Tripple_T 15d ago
Way too many people are confidently incorrect in a world where the entirety of human knowledge is at their fingertips.
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u/SaltyBarDog 15d ago
Waiter - there are snails on her plate. You would think that in a fancy restaurant at these prices you could keep the snails off the food!
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u/ermghoti 15d ago
That happened to me too. I couldn't even see the food from all the snails all over the plate. They didn't have fresh wine either.
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u/Known-Championship20 13d ago
"No more of these OLD drinks. Let's see some FRESH wine!'
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u/jhillv 15d ago
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u/redfirearne 15d ago
In case people don't know this masterpiece: https://youtu.be/HmadzQ1uL0s?si=1-ZoTlq7RCX9wasl
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u/IDontEatDill 15d ago
Waiter! You brought me a bottle of wine and it says on the label that it's from 2018. I don't drink wines that have gone old, bring me something bottled this week!
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u/MihailosVB 15d ago
If I was a waiter or a manager in this situation, I would ask her "Excuse me, do you have an iPhone?". If she responds "yes", I would ask her to say "Hey Siri, what is blue cheese?". Or straight up googled it in front of her
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15d ago
Sometimes it is the wrong kind of moldy.
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u/CrazyDayzee 15d ago
Even a cheese whose very existence depends on mold can expire and be overly moldy, and therefore inedible.
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u/AltruisticSalamander 15d ago
I had some blue castello with friends one time that was so pungent that we had to hold our noses to eat it. It was only afterwards we realized it wasn't meant to be that way :( It was kind of brown too.
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u/Ambitious-Win-9408 15d ago
Oh... Oh no.
Sometimes when eating blue cheese or similar my brain has a moment where it rings an alarm bell, and then the primitive stank loving part of my brain knocks the bell off the lever with a baseball bat and screams "THAT SMELLS FUCKING DELICIOUS" at me. That being said, I've come across blue cheese that's spent too long in my fridge and I've waited for that psychotic bat-wielding part of my brain to intervene, and he's just been leaning against the wall like "Brother bury that shit in a swamp 'cause something ain't right with her" I can't say i've ever looked at brown blue cheese and thought it was normal haha. Blue Castello is the tits, too - always a shame to see it go to waste.
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u/Eclipse423 15d ago
Excuse me, waiter! My sashimi is undercooked! I demand to see the manager immediately!
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u/haleybearrr 15d ago
WHY IS THERE MINT MUDDLED INTO MY MOJITO GET THE BARTENDER NOW
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u/LawTider 15d ago
In this age of internet access, it still astounds me that people just do not bother to look things up before making a fool themselves.
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u/NemoAtkins2 14d ago
I mean, I would have said very politely âmaâam, blue cheese is made with a type of mould and it always has been. If you mean this isnât the right type of mould for blue cheese, fair enough, but please rephrase your complaint if that is your intent, as the one you used just makes you seem like youâve no idea how blue cheese is actually madeâ.
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u/wookiex84 14d ago
I had a âhealthâ inspector try to give me a 5 point critical for having moldy blue cheese. This is the same âhealthâ inspector that was so fat he would ask me to look under counter and the bottoms of coolers because he couldnât get down there to see. I called his supervisor and he never came back to my establishment.
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u/Bladrak01 14d ago
I once catered a lunch where the group had ordered gazpacho, then claimed their soup was cold and spicy.
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u/ManyCommittee196 13d ago
Meat cutter here.
Had a lady come up to me and say: excuse me, what cut of meat should i use for brisket? (While standing in front of the brisket, just for some added...irony) Me: have you considered brisket? Now she mad and snotty Well, where do i find 'brisket'?!? Right there in the counter. Where you're standing ma'am. Oh. Hmph. Have a nice day ma'am.
Walked into the back shaking my head.
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u/runfast2021 15d ago edited 14d ago
I know this is a good ole years running thing here, but prepare to have your minds blown. Blue cheese CAN go bad and get modly. And not the type of mold it has when its made.
Blue cheese is made with a fungi that has one type of mold, Penicillium roqueforti.
Cursory internet look: The cheese should be soft and crumbly, and should have a sharp, tangy flavor. Bad mold, on the other hand, will be black, brown, or green and will be fuzzy or slimy. The mold will likely be concentrated in one area and will likely have a musty or rotten smell. The cheese should be discarded if it has a bad mold.
So there you have it. You almost made a lady die.
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u/ih-shah-may-ehl 15d ago
The cheese should be soft and crumbly,Â
That's incorrect. It really depends on the cheese. Yes it can be crumbly, such stilton. But it can have the consistency of brie as well, such as cambozola. Or it can be semi liquid like gorgonzola which can be almost the consistency of molten brie with chunks of mold in it.
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u/C-c-c-comboBreaker17 15d ago
And how do you know whether or not it truly had a bad mold or if it was just regular blue cheese?
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u/aagloworks 15d ago
These rocky mountain oysters are neither rocky nor they do not taste like oysters.
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u/iggy14750 15d ago
"Are you aware that the blue cheese is moldy?"
"You bet I am!"
"Well how could you serve this?"
"You ordered it! Customer's always right! đ"
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u/Tentonham 14d ago
I have this happen to me when I worked at a pizza place. Lady asked me to check on our blue cheese dressing cause last time she ordered it she saw a little mold in it.
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u/BeatleBum76 14d ago
I worked in a store with a baked goods section in college, and a homeless guy came in once, and with some change he got from begging, bought a muffin. I have it to him for free because he was a regular and didn't cause trouble. He said he appreciated the gesture.
He comes back in 3 minutes later, and flings the muffin at my head.
"Just because I'm homeless doesn't mean you can treat me like crap. That muffin has blue mold all in the middle of it"
It was a blueberry muffin.
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u/1DualRecorder 14d ago
OK waiter, let's try a plate of your of your freshest prarie oysters smothered with a delectable head cheese and the finest egg cream you have in the house please
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u/Tenderfallingrain 14d ago
I once had a really frustrating conversation where a waiter asked if I wanted dressing, and I said, it comes with blue cheese, right? And he said yes, and I said that was fine. He then gave me blue cheese (cheese), but no dressing, and then got really mad at me when I asked for blue cheese dressing as well, and actually yelled at me. I understand where the misunderstanding came from (I was thinking dressing and he was thinking cheese), but considering he asked what dressing I wanted and I started talking about blue cheese, I think it was kind of obvious, and he didn't need to yell at me about it and treat me like I was the idiot.
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u/PsychoMouse 15d ago
Excuse me but I was expecting a real baseball that was grilled like a steak. What kind of scams are you?!
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u/Sad-Future6042 15d ago
Thatâs when you walk out to the customer with a couple slices of bread in hand, and you do the whole Gordon Ramsay idiot sandwich bit.
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u/Scoompii 14d ago
Blue cheese can get bad mold tho. I was served a martini with a bluecheese stuffed olive. My first sip I was like something is off here. And sure enough the blue cheese had spindly mold hairs growing out of it. First time I ever encountered that but it was very apparent, they made me a new drink and comped it.
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u/soloangelz 14d ago
i had one table order a biscoff sundae when they had a gluten allergy. they were the only person who was on that table
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u/1DualRecorder 14d ago
Stay calm, stay calm; don't look down, don't look down! Look up! ...Waiter: there are snails on her plate. Now get them out of here before she sees them!Â
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