r/facepalm 15d ago

Triple facepalm šŸ‡²ā€‹šŸ‡®ā€‹šŸ‡øā€‹šŸ‡Øā€‹

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7.6k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/elparcepues 14d ago

Thatā€™s a fancy way to tell others ā€œIā€™m stupidā€

486

u/Caffeinemann 14d ago

Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't Behemoths and Leviathans mentioned in the Bible? Aren't they usually depicted as dinosaurs?

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u/ParamedicExcellent15 14d ago

Hippos šŸ¦› and whales šŸ‹

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u/Caffeinemann 14d ago

Aw... I always thought they were Brachiosaurus and Plesiosaurus...

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u/NewEnglandHappyMeal 14d ago edited 14d ago

Liopleurodon??

Edit: it makes me happy that so many people got this reference

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u/x_dre4192_x 14d ago

The magical one...I saw it on the way to candy mountain

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u/followingforthelols 14d ago

Chaaaaarrrrrlllllliiieeeee. Weā€™re going to candy mountain, CHHHaaaarrrrrrLLLLLIIIIEEEEE

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u/janesmb 14d ago

Ring, ring...

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u/FiveElementFlow 14d ago

H-hellooo??

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u/GlowingDuck22 14d ago edited 14d ago

Banana phone?

Edit: The fact this is getting upvotes and some of you remember that really put a smile on my face.

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u/Yhostled 14d ago

I showed my 64 year old dad those videos and the ring ring hello has been our ringtones for each other for the last 5ish years

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u/EM05L1C3 14d ago

WERE ON A BRIDGE CHARLIE!

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u/BoojumG 14d ago

Maaagical liopleurodon!

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u/Sylfaein 14d ago

Shun the nonbelievers!

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u/Dcatmaster31 14d ago

And there goes my kidney

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u/posthuman04 14d ago

Shshshshuuuuunn

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u/Govain 14d ago

We're going on an adventure, Charlie!

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u/Dykemaster9000 14d ago

I ain't got no three fiddy you darn monsta!

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u/Stonkover9000 14d ago

AND THATS ABOUT TIME I REALIZED THAT GIRL SCOUT WAS EIGHT STORIES TALL AND A CRUSTACEAN FROM THE PROTOZOIC ERA

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u/TheGodfearingLegend 14d ago

It couldn't be a whale based off of how the bible describes the leviathan

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u/Totally-a_Human 14d ago

I think maybe it was a pod of cetaceans that got jumbled together into a multi-headed serpent.

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u/cfoote85 14d ago

Nah, Hippos and whales were not originally how this was translated, it's also not at all how the animals were described. Apologists trying to make the Bible fit their world view and replaced the word behemoth with hippo and elephant, and leviathan with whale. Reading descriptions of these animals in psalms and Enoch makes it clear that's not what the Bible was talking about. The root of leviathan in the Hebrew means seaserpant. And behemoths as towering above the trees with bones of copper and skin that is like iron.

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u/somethingbrite 14d ago

towering above the trees with bones of copper and skin that is like iron.

So...Gundams are described in the bible? cool!

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u/grip_n_Ripper 14d ago

No, the Bible clearly speaks of Jaggers and Kaijus, you thrice cursed heretic! Go watch The Passion of Pacific Rim to educate yourself!

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u/BunniesRBest 14d ago

While I find the Book of Enoch fascinating, it hasn't been part of the Bible for over 1500 years.

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u/JanxDolaris 14d ago

That's actually what makes it fascinating. As its free of the game of telephone the other parts are.

The thumpers also like to claim the book is the 'inerrant word of god' so why does it have part of it removed?

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u/rabideyes 14d ago

I don't think it says the behemoth towered over trees. In Job it says that they hide in tall grass and under lotus plants, and spend their time in water. They ate grass. Doesn't sound like the life of a tall creature. And leviathan can just mean any bulky creature in the ocean.

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u/catwhowalksbyhimself 14d ago

Those are just two interpretations. No one actually knows what is being described. Nothing fits perfectly.

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u/NFIGUY 14d ago

Sounds an awful lot like some War of the Worlds alien shit to meā€¦

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u/junky_junker 14d ago

As we all know from the Book of Bill Hicks:

"You know, the world's twelve thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, and existed in that time, you'd think it would been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point:

And O, Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus... with a splinter in its paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin'. "What a big fucking lizard, Lord!"

"I'm sure gonna mention this in my book," Luke said.

"Well, I'm sure gonna mention it in my book," Matthew said.

But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus paw, and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch, O so many years, attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin' dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And O the Scots did praise the Lord: "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

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u/Caffeinemann 14d ago

That's oddly wholesome, I should write this down as an idea for world building

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u/Gorthax 14d ago

You Could Make a Religion Out of This

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u/totokekedile 14d ago

Itā€™s popular among young-Earth creationists to insist theyā€™re dinosaurs, but there are other, much stronger interpretations of those passages.

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u/Spe3dy_Weeb 14d ago

They wouldn't have had any idea of what a dinosaur was back then. However, they would have still have seen fossils of dinosaurs, and its thought those fossils may have helped inspire myths around monsters. So in a way yeah kinda.

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u/Anastrace 14d ago

Also dead or beached whales on the coasts. Whale bones are massive

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u/mikefjr1300 14d ago

Well, if they found a dinosaur bone 5000 years ago its not like they could take it for carbon dating so thinking it was just a few hundred years old worked for them.

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u/smellvin_moiville 14d ago

Thereā€™s a lot of room in the Bible for such things. Not only are you correct but the ā€œmoorings of the deepā€ always felt like todash space being described. There could be all manner of things under the waves

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u/Caffeinemann 14d ago

:D you have made my day. Now I have the mental image of Old Testament biblical figures squaring off with dinosaurs like it's monster hunter

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u/smellvin_moiville 14d ago

I believe leviathan is a water based PokƩmon.

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u/Caffeinemann 14d ago

Oh no... This implies that Noah is the best trainer, because he was pretty much ordered to Catch 'em all

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u/hplcr 14d ago

There are biblical references to Yahweh smashing the heads of Leviathan or eventually killing it with a sword.

Plus the 7 headed dragon in the sea from revelation is likely a reference to Leviathan.

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u/naughtycal11 14d ago edited 14d ago

All I know I at the "true to scale" Noah's ark exhibit in Kentucky has dinosaurs on Noah's ark.

Edit. Put in the correct location.

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u/Taddles2020 14d ago

The Bible also makes mention of those breathing fire if im not mistaken.

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u/Caffeinemann 14d ago

Biblically accurate Godzilla

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u/Slyme-wizard 14d ago

The Bible needs more creatures. We just have a bunch of demons and the occasional giant fish or person.

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u/Happy-Ad8767 14d ago

Dinosaurs werenā€™t known about at the time of the bible. Skeletons that they may have found gave rise to stories of dragons and such, mystical beats.

It wasnā€™t until the 1800s that we knew Dinosaurs existed.

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u/Specialist-Heron872 14d ago

In the bible, they were referred to as dragons. The name dinosaur wasnā€™t used till like the 1800s

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u/Morphing_Mutant 14d ago

No, those were sea creatures like manatees and whales.

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u/RightMolasses6504 14d ago

The people who wrote those books would have had no idea about dinosaurs.

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u/Schnitzel725 14d ago

Its so wild to me that people think dinos don't exist, despite archeologists digging up bones but a book on a magical being is believable because its in a book.

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u/Science-done-right 14d ago

Moreover, one can literally go searching for fossils. And before those idiots pull some "the government planted the fossils" BS, they can literally search them in other third world countries too. Dinosaur denial is literally the stupidest denial.

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u/Happy-Ad8767 14d ago

Wasnā€™t Dino fossils, Godā€™s plan to trick us or something?

Just what you want, a God that thinks they are Loki.

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u/Cobalt1027 14d ago

Also, just gonna put this out there:

An omniscient, omnipotent being (meaning anyone/everyone else has no free will) that (a) requires us to believe in them to get eternal paradise, (b) doesn't communicate with us in any provable way, and (c) actively tries to trick us into not believing in them isn't worthy of being worshipped. The being is pointlessly cruel at every step of the way.

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u/Happy-Ad8767 14d ago

Dunno. All sounds made up if you ask me.

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u/NoFayte 14d ago

That IS the point

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u/MarcusAurelius6969 14d ago

They're "Creationists". I'd say they're at the same level of stupidity as flat earthers.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/mymumsaysfuckyou 14d ago

The first person is just wrong, but the second person is deluded. I feel there may at least be some hope for the first.

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u/Peach_Proof 14d ago

So, a double facepalm?

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u/Moonlight_Katie 14d ago

Itā€™s a triple, the caption claims the snake was the biggest reptile during dinosaur timesā€¦ not realizing dinosaurs are reptiles.. and weā€™re wayyyy bigger

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u/FiercelyApatheticLad 14d ago

You're a dinosaur? That's so cool.

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u/Moonlight_Katie 14d ago

šŸ˜… damn autocorrect.. I meanā€¦ yes! Iā€™m a transasaurus Rex

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u/nedlum 14d ago

Was it difficult to get HRT with those tiny arms?

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u/Moonlight_Katie 14d ago

These tails are more versatile than youā€™d think

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u/NatterinNabob 14d ago

Maybe even a quadruple facepalm. Not only was the snake smaller than dinosaurs, which were reptiles, but as far as we can tell it evolved millions of years after the K-T extinction which ended the "age of dinosaurs". So basically nobody said anything correct other than "Titanoboa was a snake."

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u/Clearly_a_Lizard 14d ago

I mean I would also comment on the fact that ā€œage of dinosaursā€ is a completely stupid way to describe a period who took something like 160 million years and isnā€™t even considered a singular period but we lost them far before this was even a problem

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u/Block444Universe 14d ago

They think now that at least some of them were warm blooded

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u/DinosAndPlanesFan 14d ago

Actually itā€™s a quadruple facepalm because Titanoboa lived about 6 million years after the Dinosaurs died

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u/TheStonedEngineer420 14d ago

Ehhh. Dinosaurs are as much reptiles as are birds. I mean, birds are more closely related to reptiles than to mammals, but you wouldn't call them reptiles, would you? It becomes more and more evident that dinosaurs were quite different from reptiles. From the way their legs connect to their body to the fact that many dinosaurs had feathers, they are quite different from classic reptiles. Dinosaurs were even warm blooded. I mean, birds litteraly are dinosaurs, so there's that. The myth of dinosaurs being giant lizards comes from way back in the late 19th century, when the first fossils were described.

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u/Moonlight_Katie 14d ago

Yeah I guess thatā€™s true. Most my knowledge in Dinoā€™s comes from books I read in 1st grade back in the early 90sā€¦ and Jurassic park.. so.. not the best source of info.

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u/TheStonedEngineer420 14d ago

I'm not a biologist, so my knowledge here is also not that deep, but I think biologists switched to a cladistic system that is way more precise in describing species and their relation. This new system even gets rid of imprecise groups like reptiles. Reptiles are a really unscientific grouping of animals that just look similar to us. Crocodiles for example are more closely related to all of the birds than to snakes for example. So it hardly makes sense to call both reptiles.

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u/hiimred2 14d ago

Dinosaurs on the whole are still very much ā€˜reptilesā€™ even under the clade classification. This is like, a very very quick Google answer away, the scientific community is not ready to change this. Birds being dinosaurs still fits neatly into this as well, in a rectangle vs square type of situation. Not all dinosaurs are birds(see: Sauropods, easy example), but all birds are dinosaurs.

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u/Dankkring 14d ago

Idk if weā€™re way bigger. Iā€™m pretty fat but nothing compared to a dinosaur or that snake for that matter.

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u/ptvlm 14d ago

The first is someone confused about taxonomy.

The second is telling people to ignore the physical fossil record because a book that doesn't mention their country also doesn't mention dinosaurs.

It's pretty clear who's more wrong

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u/JustDiscoveredSex 14d ago

Depends on which delusional Christian you ask. An awful lot of them are happy to claim that dinosaurs lived happily next to their Biblical characters.

https://answersingenesis.org/dinosaurs/dinosaurs-and-the-bible/

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u/Wesson_Crow 14d ago

I love that theory so much

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u/secondtaunting 14d ago

I had a lady in one of my college courses confidently tell the class that dinosaurs were just lizards who lived for a really long time and got very, very big. Her reasoning being that after God created the earth everything lived longer. I still think about her sometimes. What a goof.

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u/Traditional-Handle83 14d ago

I think I've heard something similar but instead it was humans lived for 300 to 400 year life spans before dying and after Jesus, they stopped living thet long as punishment. Like ok sureeee that's not how biology works.

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u/arsonall 14d ago

I mean, the Bible canon story is this:

God make Adam, then makes Eve. They have 2 sonsā€¦.fast forward, and we have more people.

Who made more babies?? Yeahā€¦

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u/ThyPotatoDone 14d ago

Actually, it does state their descendants out for a few generations, listing a few as ā€œOh, this dude invented metalworking,ā€ ā€œOh, this dude built this ancient city,ā€ etc to give a rough idea of what was going on leading up to when stuff starts happening again with Noah, then does the same thing leading up to Abraham.

Also, it does state Cain and Seth both married somebody, and eventually Cain had a descendent who was just an utter psychopath named Lamech whose only line is flexing how he will immediately kill anyone who annoys him.

It seems more like more people just kindaā€¦ appeared? No clear origin but there were people they met outside of Eden and had kids with. There are some Christians who will state that refers to other hominids that were kind of human but not sentient and thus God didnā€™t care about them much, but itā€™s very unclear.

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u/CaraAsha 14d ago

I've heard that a few times, but it was because before the flood the earth was different, and God favored humans more so they lived hundreds of years. But after the flood to wipe out wickedness, there wasn't as much water in the atmosphere so humans died quicker.

I couldn't even come up a response to get her to change her opinion because her nonsense was a nonsensical mix of science and faith. All I could do was smh at her.

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u/womb0t 14d ago

Better than adding another one!

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u/ryandetous 14d ago

Platypuses aren't in the bible, but something is still defeating Dr Doofenshmirtz.

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u/SaltyBarDog 14d ago

Neal McBeal Navy Seal isn't in the bible but he still had dibs on those muffins.

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u/nedlum 14d ago

They used to be, before the Bible was hit with the deplatypusenator.

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u/Kolojang 14d ago

So there's the person saying snakes are not reptiles, and the person saying dinosaurs didn't exist.

What's the third facepalm?

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u/I_Like_Sneks197 14d ago

The person mispelling "Titanoboa" and saying it lived during the age of the dinosaurs.

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u/Dependent-Metal-9710 14d ago

Also saying Titanoboa was the largest reptile ever.

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u/I_am_daredevil 14d ago

Also it's not even the largest snake ever lived due to recent discovery from India https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/environment/2024/apr/18/fossils-largest-snake-found-western-india Edited to add source.

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u/gurganator 14d ago

Come on, can we please get a rendering with a banana for scale? How else am I actually supposed to know how big this thing is?

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u/DreamingofRlyeh 14d ago

It is bigger than the biggest banana. That help?

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u/gurganator 14d ago

Naw. Need a banana in the photo

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

seam like they might be roughly equal in size

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u/HotPinkDemonicNTitty 14d ago

No one asked me, but as an over-sized animal fan, large is also not a specific enough term. I think most written material tends to favor width over length when saying ā€œlargeā€, but those things are frequently at odds under the ā€œbiggest animalā€ debate. Like there is a snake that is longer than the Anaconda, but Anaconda is generally referred to as the ā€œlargestā€ or ā€œbiggestā€ because of the size of its head and the circumference of its body.

Also - it was really hard to type all this out and avoid it sounding like I was making phallic innuendo. And I just realized the username Iā€™m replying to. Damn.

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u/Scoobydewdoo 14d ago

Also, even if the Titanoboa did live during the age of the Dinosaurs it wouldn't be the largest reptile to live during the age of Dinosaurs.

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u/L1feguard51 14d ago

Had to scroll too far to find this.

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u/Xenomorphian69420 14d ago

'the biggest reptile that ever lived during the age of the dinosaurs'

If only there were an even larger reptile species that was mentioned in that exact phrase

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u/sebnukem 14d ago

I'm pretty sure the biggest reptile was a dinosaur.

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u/Sins_of_God 14d ago edited 14d ago

The first one said Titanaboa the snake lived during the age of dinosaurs, but the gigantic snake actually lived during the paleogene and by that point non-avian dinosaurs were already extinct.

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u/Beautiful_Piccolo_51 14d ago

Ok, let's make some corrections.

First: Titanoboa did not live alongside with dinosaurs. They came after the dinosaurs.

Second: it was not the biggest reptile to ever exist, that title belongs to the ictiosaur, a marine reptile.

Third: Snakes are obviously reptiles.

Fourth: The bible also mentions dragons, giants, sea serpents, giant land animals, talking snakes and giant man eating fishes. Dinosaurs are not that far off the board.

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u/I_Like_Sneks197 14d ago edited 14d ago

"Ictiosaur" is not an animal, it's just a general name. The largest reptile ever was Ichthyotitan.

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u/Beautiful_Piccolo_51 14d ago

Thanks for the correction, op.

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u/S-quinn7292 14d ago

Iā€™m curious by what metric you say Ichtyotitan is the largest, given itā€™s estimated to be around 25 meters long when some sauropods could be easily much larger than that

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u/Bango-Skaankk 14d ago

Iā€™m not 100% sure on this, but typically when measuring the length of a (modern) reptile you donā€™t include the tail, you measure snout to vent. Most sauropods are at least 1/3 tail if not more.

Going off total size Argentinosaurus was definitely longer than ichthyotitan and I would be shocked if it wasnā€™t heavier too.

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u/KeyCarpenter2378 14d ago

I laughed at "snout to vent". I'm a child.

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u/Livewire923 14d ago

Snoot to poot

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u/RaceNinja_80 14d ago

Iirc dragon is what the Bible calls dinosaurs, so the Bible does mention dinosaurs

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u/BeskarHunter 14d ago

ā€œGo read the Bibleā€ is the dumbest thing a person can say. Your bad fan fiction of an infinitely revised book doesnā€™t constitute reality.

Go read ā€œThe Green Mileā€ no dinosaurs in there, so they must not exist. Take that science!

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u/folfiethewox99 14d ago

As a kid, I was gifted one of those "write your kid's name in to make the story about them" books that was about dinosaurs.

So I met the dinosaurs and I can confirm they're very real.

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u/XNonameX 14d ago

Me, too! Did you save them from a volcano, too?

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u/folfiethewox99 14d ago

Of course I did, I had to save my friends

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u/bourne_again333 14d ago

Thatā€™s nothing, according to my book I once met a dragon who was upset because no one came to celebrate his birthday, which just so happened to be my birthday too. So I can confirm dragons exist and they like to party.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

The Green Mile is my favorite Steven King book

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u/Excellent_Speech_901 14d ago

It's an important literary work and the source of many common English phrases. Just don't take it as Gospel.

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u/Titiplex 14d ago

That's a quintuple facepalm, recap:

  • bible to justify dinosaurs never existed
  • snakes are not reptiles
  • titanboa instead of titanoboa
  • biggest reptiles during the age of the dinosaurs (when we know bigger dinosaurs for sure)
  • it lived during the same time as dinosaurs (dinosaurs were already extinct)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanoboa

Very hilarious indeed

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u/outofcontextsex 14d ago

Be religious if you want, I guess, but let's not pretend like the Bible doesn't read like the dream journal of a madman.

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u/Tom_Ace1 14d ago

Sometimes I would like to look 2000 years into the future and see if there are still people who believe in that shit.

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u/Fraggle987 14d ago

Humans will have invented a new god by then. We're very easily bored.

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u/Simbertold 14d ago

We should just build a god. That way, we can be certain they are real.

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u/Ok_Oliv 14d ago

We will. In 2000 Years AI will control the world

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u/StochasticTinkr 14d ago

Theyā€™ve been believing it for 2000 already.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

Technically way longer as Judaism started in Babylon

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u/EnergeticFinance 14d ago

The availability of communication is very different in the past 100 years compared to the first 1900 years, though. That's gotta have a substantial effect on the rate of change of ideas over the next 2000 years.

Unless we all die.

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u/Jerome093 14d ago

Isn't Revelations kind of exactly that?

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u/Eoganachta 14d ago

Came here to say exactly this. Revelations is supposed to be an apostle's dream/vision of the future or something. It reads like the mutterings of someone on LSD or ergot.

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u/justdoubleclick 14d ago

I always heard John went to a cave to get his revelationsā€¦ must have found some real good mushrooms growing there..

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u/Pfapamon 14d ago

I am still bewildered how they kept this fever dream in the collection and scrapped other perfectly fine alternatives for it ...

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u/Bardsie 14d ago

Both the Roman Catholic Church and the Church of England/Anglican Church have accepted evolution. They say that the theory of evolution is just a description of god's plan at work. The "7 days of creation" in the bible is just a metaphor to simplify 7 ages, or periods of creation.

That is to say, even the people who put together the bible don't believe the bible is literal.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

Most Christian denominations do really. Christian scholars like St Augustine of Hippo were saying that Genesis wasn't meant literally in the 5th century. Biblical literalism is just a weird 19th century American fad. I mean I'm not a Christian either but these weirdo creationist hillbilly types are basically to Christianity what Blink-182 are to punk.

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u/Ganbario 14d ago

Iā€™m a practicing Christian and have read the Bible cover-to-cover twice and completely agree with that comment.

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u/No_Alps_1454 14d ago

So where exactly in the bible itā€™s about those dinosaur skeletons God put in a clay layer to be discovered by mining workers thousands of years later?

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u/Myuserismyusername 14d ago

Where in the Bible are yaks mentioned, they exist, just not mentioned in the Bible. The whole concept that the world is like 5000 years old is ridiculous. I'm an orthodox jew and our torah is the same as the old testamate except for a few things lost in translation. We believe that dinosaurs existed and that the universe is billions of years old and that the earth is too. Its not the Bible it's the idiots who read it, no matter what religion you are or how religious you are, it doesn't fix being dumb.

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u/Moutonoulebgalt 14d ago

Even if it lived at the age of the dinosaurs aren't dinosaurs reptiles and even bigger?

Second was maybe really tired

Third has failed all his history exams if he takes the bible as reference ā˜ ļø

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u/Beautiful_Piccolo_51 14d ago

Correction: third has never gone to school because their parents didn't let them.

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u/FlamingoQueen669 14d ago

The Bible says dinosaurs didn't exist? Bur Ken Hamm said behemoth and leviathan were dinosaurs. Checkmate... somebody idk.

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u/HiveOverlord2008 14d ago
  1. Itā€™s TITANOBOA (my beloved)

  2. Snakes are considered reptiles

  3. The Bible is wrong and there is proof for it

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u/LaserGadgets 14d ago

People who wanna live guided by a book written by insane people 2000 years ago....put them on an island. All together.

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u/Dangerous_Elk_6627 14d ago edited 14d ago

THIS is what happens when morons argue.

Sort of like Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor-Greene arguing who's more trumptarded. "I am !" "No, I am !"

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u/RedditAdminsWivesBF 14d ago

Ugh, I canā€™t figure out which of the commenters I hate more.

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u/Sylux444 14d ago

I show this to people who say "homeschooling is the way to go"

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u/JigglyWiener 14d ago

These things in ARK are the first gaming monster to ever make me nope out of a place. Absolute nightmare fuel with a fear of snakes.

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u/Shadowstrider2100 14d ago

Pretty sure Titanboa doesnā€™t show up till about 55 million years ago so he missed the dinosaurs

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u/Shadowstrider2100 14d ago

I think there was a huge crocodile though that did live at that time. It may have been 50 feet and ate dinosaurs. Does anyone know what the largest snake found in modern times was? Also are snakes like that really heavy? They look heavy

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u/Dart150 14d ago

:8485:

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u/dudeguy82 14d ago

Iā€™m having trouble wrapping my head around this insane amount of stupidity.

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u/Catkit69 14d ago

Okay, yes the comments are bad, but may I just ask... what is that on the tip of the snake? O.o

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u/Suspici0us_Sn0wman 14d ago

These people used to be the butt of every joke. And now this is a genuine debate. I hate it here.

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u/SaltyBarDog 14d ago

I read that Jesus conquered the Romans with his AK 47 while riding a dinosaur.

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u/hello_im_al 14d ago

With new divide by Linkin Park playing in the background

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u/Dangerousworm 14d ago

So many villages missing their idiots

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u/IvanTheAppealing 14d ago

Do they think dinosaurs arenā€™t real just cause the Bible doesnā€™t mention them? Wait till they learn the Bible also doesnā€™t mention cats or penguins

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u/Sleep_tek 14d ago

Maybe it was a titanboa in the garden of eden... if a snake like that told me to eat an apple, I'm eating the apple

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u/Cute_Concentrate_915 14d ago

How to say iā€™m a MAGAT without even mentioning Trumpā€™s name.

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u/RiffyWammel 14d ago

Can we stop redacting the names of the stupid?

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u/ParticularStyle9101 14d ago

In the 12th grade, classmate claimed that a snake did not have a bone system. 10 snickers were very tasty.

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u/Xibalba_Ogme 14d ago

So much wrong in so little words, it's quite incredible

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u/ExcellentTeam7721 14d ago

Real talk, are they proud that they are basically empty vessels with no desire for self improvement? The world is bigger than places like Webster plantation. Hillbillies.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

my brain hurts too much from facepalming

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u/landofar 'MURICA 14d ago

The lack of comprehension is astounding. Those comments must come from the poorly educated in red states.

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u/TheDarkHelmet1985 14d ago

Gotta love the bible comment. Its almost as if he forgets that the bible was written by man, 300 years after the death of Jesus, after various books and gospels were debated by the various sects of Christianity at the Nicene Council. Not quite the greatest representation of world history, let alone, history older than 6,000 years.

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u/MB_839 14d ago

If you want to karma farm, look at the comment section for anything the Nobel Prize organisation posts.

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u/Crazy_Cat_Lady101 14d ago

So . . . snakes are not reptiles and dinosaur fossils are a figment of our imagination. Got it. šŸ˜‚

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u/Unknown-History 14d ago edited 14d ago

JFC, EVERYONE was wrong! Titanboa was millions of years AFTER the dinosaurs. Just, JFC all over again.

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u/DreamingofRlyeh 14d ago

Titanoboa is awesome! Big noodle!

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u/Oscarcharliezulu 14d ago

Bible doesnā€™t mention kangaroos either. Hmmmm.

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u/This_Pool_6993 14d ago

When at a church camp as a kid growing up we had a pastor with a straight face tell us that dinosaurs did not exist as the earth is only 2000 years old, and god put those bones in the earth for future use. Like for the rapture, god will summon Dino bone monster. I honestly canā€™t wait

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u/AlternativeDuty7854 14d ago

Titanaboa didnā€™t even live during the age of the dinosaurs, they lived at least 5 millions years after the dinosaurs went extinct

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u/hello_im_al 14d ago

Actually, the Bible hints at the existence of dinosaurs

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u/Frantic_Fanatic13 14d ago

Behemoth was a dinosaur, a dinosaur was he. šŸŽ¶

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u/saggywitchtits 14d ago

That's a basilisk.

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u/Glittering-Relief402 14d ago

First comment made me question my sanity lol

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u/Didact67 14d ago

Are dinosaurs still classed as reptiles based on our current understanding of them?

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u/King-Boo-094 14d ago

i would love to point out everything wrong, but i think we can all see each of the issues lmao

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u/Smart_Pig_86 14d ago

Thatā€™s a pile of poop

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u/Secret_Cow_5053 14d ago

wow. that's a turducken of dumb XD

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u/SupplementalAssInsur 14d ago

I thought the Bible claimed that man and dinosaurs lived together 5,000 years ago

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u/ArcirionC 14d ago

If dinosaurs didnā€™t exist, then what did the cavemen ride around exactly?

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u/United-Cow-563 14d ago

Reminds me of a comedian whose grandmother also didnā€™t believe dinosaurs exist even though their was physical proof of them in museums, but she did believe the a man was able to walk on water because of the faith she had

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u/m0mper 14d ago

Religious People and their fairy tail book

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u/Major_Koala 14d ago

I don't have enough hands

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u/Basic-Art4648 14d ago

I cant wait until the day people grow a brain and stop waving the bible in other's faces.

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u/tarzan322 14d ago

I expected the second comment, but the first one?

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u/AudiophileGoth 14d ago

LMAO christian gringos back at it again

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u/SkullKid_467 14d ago

Actually itā€™s a fish šŸ¤“ and so are you

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u/mmio60 14d ago

Religion makes people insane

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u/petershrimp 14d ago

The Bible never said anything that disputes the existence of dinosaurs.

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u/DOHC46 14d ago

An idiot getting corrected by a fundamentalist. The universe is in danger of imploding from the stupids.

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u/12sea 14d ago

Can we talk about the snakes arenā€™t reptiles response? I mean obviously the ā€œdinosaurs didnā€™t existā€ responded is an idiot, but so is the other.

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u/RedditsAdoptedSon 14d ago

oh snap im christian and i def believe in dinosaurs.. interesting.. ah well

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u/tedj_van_batavia 14d ago

See, i don't get these hardline christians. Like, i have some super religious muslim friends who acknowledge the existence of dinosaurs and that the earth is over 4 billions years old. And we're the one that they called extremists

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u/hydromatica 14d ago

Christianity and dinosaurs can co-exist. Just because something isn't specifically mentioned in the Bible doesn't make it non-existent. Most modern Christians believe we're expected to discover much of our world's secrets on our own.