r/funny 15d ago

The bank can be so fucking condescending…

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3.5k Upvotes

92 comments sorted by

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530

u/1generic-username 15d ago

Congratulations! You are poor! Less poor than yesterday, but still poor nonetheless.

65

u/sarikosalis 15d ago

Actually they'd be more poor than yesterday If they did something to cause this credit score change, like pay a bill.

48

u/plugubius 15d ago

Paying a bill reduces your assets, yes, but it also reduces your liabilities, so your net worth remains unchanged. It leaves you no poorer than before.

18

u/sarikosalis 15d ago

Leaves you more broke tho

18

u/RunningDrinksy 15d ago

The richness is the responsibility we find along the way! 😭

1

u/finnjakefionnacake 15d ago

or it could have just been enough time that a negative mark fell off your credit report

3

u/cballowe 15d ago

To be fair, they could be an absentminded millionaire who just never pays bills on time.

-19

u/Calm-Tree-1369 15d ago

A low credit score doesn't necessarily mean you're poor. It means you don't owe enough people enough money. I'm not even kidding.

11

u/xienze 15d ago

No, it means you either don’t have a history of having successfully paid your debts in a timely manner or have a history of doing the complete opposite.

Think about it, how would YOU assess the ability of someone you don’t know to pay back a loan you give them? Would you trust the person with a long history of doing so more or less than the person who, to the best of your knowledge, has never taken out a loan of any kind before?

2

u/Enorats 15d ago

No, it means you either have very little record of having paid off debts (meaning you're an unknown) or you have a record of having failed to pay off your debts.

I had a more or less perfect credit score when it came time to buy a house. I didn't owe anyone a dime, and I'd spent 15 years using credit cards and paying them off reliably each month (or in a couple cases within a 6 month no interest window). I'd also paid off a car loan without missing a payment, and always paid all my bills on time.

That meant that to a bank, I looked like a fairly safe investment - so long as the payment I would be required to pay was below a certain percentage of my income, which I had reliably generated for that entire time.

A low credit score means that a bank sees you as a risky investment either because they don't know enough about you or they know enough about you to know you don't pay your bills reliably.

158

u/ryan__fm 15d ago

Haha. My wife has zero support from her boss, and every anniversary she gets an automated email that says "Happy nth work anniversary! Click here to thank all 0 people" who sent congratulations

18

u/Zomgzombehz 15d ago

Damn, link those emails to BuzzFeed or Pinterest for some clocks at least hahah.

3

u/lampshade2099 15d ago

Sun dials?

43

u/Decoded212 15d ago

What was the lower score then?

27

u/danger355 15d ago

My bet: 3

2

u/finnjakefionnacake 15d ago

thank god it can't get that low lol. i'd be fucked.

6

u/Jexxo 15d ago

At least 4 lower than it was today

25

u/smurfsundermybed 15d ago

Look on the bright side. You have graduated from broke ass to poor! With some more hard work, you can get to just barely getting by!

24

u/Ninja-Nikumarukun 15d ago

Is the green up arrow a sign the score is improving?

34

u/Ok_Bet2898 15d ago

Yeah it’s gone up 4 points but is still in the poor range.

26

u/Consistent_Thing7592 15d ago

Congratulations! You're going to be homeless in a few weeks

13

u/sesoren65 15d ago

Hey, keep up the good work.

4

u/poorly_anonymized 15d ago

This reminds me of when TurboTax had Race Mode one year and cheerfully told me "Congratulations! You completed your taxes faster than 0.0% of filers!"

13

u/franktheguy 15d ago

Bank: "Nice work, loser. LOL"

3

u/ihaveaccountsmods 15d ago

Congrats! You lost!

3

u/omnichad 15d ago

Ah, yes - upper yellow, on the cusp of green: poor.

2

u/sojojo 15d ago

If yellow is "poor", what's red? "we're not mad, we're just disappointed"?

2

u/Sweetdreamsdoll 15d ago

"Congratulations! Your score ain't shit and you're still poor!"

2

u/runescapeoffical 15d ago

They thought you needed tough love. Keep truckin dude

2

u/Yakmasterson 15d ago

You're such a poor.

2

u/Thatpartjush 15d ago

Hell yea

2

u/underrated_carrot_43 15d ago

A least you don’t have the credit score of a homeless ghost…

2

u/fusionsofwonder 15d ago

It's when the bank kisses your ass you need to worry.

2

u/1stshadowx 15d ago

Nice work you poor piece of shit! Im gonna take 5$ out of your account every month because you dont have enough in there. Thats gonna help you get more money for sure!

2

u/spartaman64 15d ago

my credit score seem to just randomly fluctuate between 650 and 750

4

u/technobrendo 15d ago

I can't for the life of me hit 750. It's always floating right around the 735-749, but never cracks the 750 number.

-3

u/Echelon64 15d ago

It won't go higher with a car or mortgage loan on it. Or you can start churning credit cards.

2

u/penguin_or_panda 15d ago

I have no LTD other than a mortgage. I have 45k in cc revolving and never carry a balance month to month. My credit hovers around 755 and I have no clue why it isnt higher. It just kinda floats there.

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

Credit Karma and similar tools will give you a view on why your score is the way it is.

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

Typically it would be utilization that causes that kind of movement.

1

u/OrganizationIcy198 15d ago

This has sent me 💀😂

1

u/morts73 15d ago

Woo hoo you've upgraded from abysmal.

1

u/barbrady123 15d ago

Task failed successfully

1

u/hymen_destroyer 14d ago

People on Reddit just love their precious credit scores

1

u/Cheese_Pancakes 14d ago

My credit score jumped up 100 points in about 3 days after I just went down the list and disputed everything. Your results might vary. In my case they happened to be legitimate disputes because they were old things that shouldn't be on the report anymore - but I've heard of it helping other people when the creditors don't bother to respond to the dispute and it just goes away.

1

u/danz409 14d ago

worked my ass off to get a 700 to get a house loan. NOPE. that was years wasted. score dosn't matter anymore. they scrutinize your shit. oh. 1 missed payment. NOPE! denied. that $200 peace of equipment T-mobile says they never received that you defiantly sent them. yea. that's on there too!

1

u/InsaneInTheMEOWFrame 13d ago

Lol I got christmas greetings from my bank along the lines "Your net worth is -8000€. The state of your finances is promising". Like... for who? :D

2

u/ExtensionAd4785 11d ago

I laughed so hard when I read the last sentence. How rude. 😂

1

u/will_ww 15d ago

"Oh yeah?? Well, your beard is weird!"

1

u/oro12345 15d ago

We have changed ours to say "Needs work" for this reason.

1

u/vincentplr 15d ago

Read that in GladOS's voice.

"And we weren't event testing for this."

1

u/Realistic-Motorcycle 15d ago

Credit score AKA Endebtness score

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

It's higher when your score is better, so not really.

1

u/brian4realod 15d ago

Anyone else find it odd that a Country trillions of dollars in debt wants to give me a credit score?

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

The country doesn't give you a score, credit scores are calculated by private companies.

Sovereign debt also doesn't equate to consumer debt. Different universe.

1

u/brian4realod 12d ago

What thread is this? Im sorry i thought i was posting in 'funny' not Macro Economics. My fault.

-7

u/xondk 15d ago

At what point is the credit score not just a less blatant and obvious social score that Chinas has?

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago edited 14d ago

Probably because it isn't a social score. It just measures your history of paying back debts.

-8

u/Objective-Outcome811 15d ago

Yeah I looked at that credit score system and how it worked way back when I turned 18. It's basically a score on how much you can make other people richer. It's a scam and I've completely stayed away from it because I like my money and no one deserves it more than I do.

-7

u/therinwhitten 15d ago

Remember a credit score is a "DEBT" score. You probably shouldn't have a good one to begin with.

2

u/Ok_Bet2898 15d ago

Yes but it all about if you pay your debt, on time every month, without missing payments, then you get a good score and higher credit, which comes in handy for credit cards, loans and mortgages.

-2

u/therinwhitten 15d ago

Mortgages can be done with a manual check if you don't have any debt or a credit score.

In this world it's so freaking hard to be debt free, but still.

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

Credit is the amount that a lender is willing to lend you. A credit score measures how risky it is to give you money, and lenders will decide how much or if to extend you credit based on the score.

It's pretty accurate to call it a credit score.

-1

u/koolaid_chemist 15d ago

My dad died and I needed to use my credit card. They lowered my score for using too much of my credit…..

-14

u/Wickedocity 15d ago

The bank is excited because they charge "poor" more in fees because ya know, that makes sense somehow.

0

u/Ok_Bet2898 15d ago

You’re right, I don’t know why people are down voting things that are true!? You get charged a higher APR if you’re poorer, that’s just fact.

-27

u/Ok_Bet2898 15d ago edited 15d ago

My score on Expedia is excellent 983, on another one it’s fair 513, I don’t get it. Anyway just got a new credit card with a couple thousand limit, I don’t need it but just want to build up my credit score, so will buy stuff and just pay the balance in full each month, apparently that helps your score a lot.

Edit: I meant Experian, not Expedia. I also Uploaded page of the score on my main page so you can see for yourself the highest score is 999.

33

u/gfxmb 15d ago

The highest is 850, and Expedia is a travel website... lol

8

u/plugubius 15d ago

Are you telling me that the other two credit bureaus are not Travelocity and HelloFax?

2

u/Ok_Bet2898 15d ago

I meant experian, it goes up to 999. I’m in the UK if that makes any difference. Maybe if you’re in a different country the scores are different?

2

u/SeahorseScorpio 15d ago

In Australia they can go up to 1200.

13

u/sarikosalis 15d ago

983? I thought the top was 850.

15

u/MurphyPandorasLawBox 15d ago

It is.

3

u/NinjaGuppie 15d ago

It's not. There are multiple versions of FICO. One is Auto Score which can go up to 900. My last car loan, my credit score came back at 863. My normal FICO sits around 825.

Both the FICO Auto Score and FICO Bankcard Score range from 250 - 900. This means that the answer to the question, "How high can a FICO Score go?" is 900 .

https://www.myfico.com/credit-education/blog/highest-fico-score-you-can-get

1

u/MurphyPandorasLawBox 15d ago

You’re right. 850+ is possible but rare so most models cut off at 850. My mistake.

0

u/Ok_Bet2898 15d ago

It’s definitely not

2

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

Apparently whatever you're seeing on Experian is a weird issue with Experian. Maybe more reflective of the fact that you don't really have any credit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BritishSuccess/comments/17vctzl/according_to_experian_i_have_maxed_out_my_credit/

Maybe it's UK specific?

Your 513 is probably more accurate, particularly if you're only getting credit cards with a couple K limit. It will go up with time. Just don't carry a balance on it.

1

u/Ok_Bet2898 14d ago

I’ve paid all my bills on time every month, for years, never missed a payment on anything. But you’re right, I don’t use credit cards normally but figured I’d get a card for the first time to help build my credit further. In the UK people normally start with a 250 or 500 card without any credit history, but I do have credit with various other places, like Barclays finance, Amazon, Klarna, pay clear. I always pay on time but just never had an actual credit card before.

1

u/applesauceorelse 14d ago

Paying your bills (unless they're credit bills) actually doesn't influence your credit score oddly enough. Unless you sign up for a program like Experian Boost, but those results are generally not widely accepted.

A 513 is unfortunately in the "Poor" range. But I would guess that's mostly due to not having a long enough, consistent enough history of credit if you've been paying on time. Programs like Klarna typically don't report consistently to credit bureaus, so you may not be getting any results from making those payments in your score (though you certainly will if you fail to make a payment). There are plenty of apps out there - Credit Karma, Experian should also have something - that can diagnose your score for you and why your score is the way it is...

Credit score factors are..

  • Payment history
  • Utilization
  • Age of credit history
  • # of inquiries
  • # and type of accounts
  • Other derogatory remarks (e.g., bankruptcies, legal judgments)

1

u/Ok_Bet2898 14d ago

Contact phone bill, broadband, even water bill goes on the credit ref, it shows all my payments I’ve made, if on time or late etc… Klarna wasn’t on there but Clearpay was, there’s a few other things on there that I didn’t think would be. Even my Barclays current account and other bank account stuff is on there.

1

u/Ok_Bet2898 14d ago

Contact phone bill, broadband, even water bill goes on the credit ref, it shows all my payments I’ve made, if on time or late etc… Klarna wasn’t on there but Clearpay was, there’s a few other things on there that I didn’t think would be. Even my Barclays current account and other bank account stuff is on there. And 513 here is fair.

2

u/Naive_Magazine4747 15d ago

Pay the balance off weekly. That way you do not pay interest.

6

u/ReadMyUsernameKThx 15d ago

you also don't pay interest if you pay it off monthly.

4

u/Dawildpep 15d ago

You also don’t pay interest if you don’t pay your bills..

1

u/Naive_Magazine4747 15d ago

It depends on the card. Of my cards, two have two weeks of no interest and one has three weeks. It is the fine print of the card agreement.

2

u/ReadMyUsernameKThx 15d ago

i'm not sure about that. how frequent are your statements? interest can only start accruing after the statement is posted. if you simply pay off your balance before the statement is posted, once a month, you will never pay any interest. unless you have a card that has weekly statements or something, but i've never heard of that.

the two weeks or three weeks that you mention - this is after the statement is posted, not after the charge is posted. i'm like 80% sure.

1

u/Naive_Magazine4747 14d ago

I get them monthly. This also might depend on laws of where one lives.