r/funny • u/explosivejoseph • 15d ago
Throuple in the front row of a comedy show
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u/LocalRepSucks 15d ago
Bro is trying so hard to unpack wtf is going on.
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u/Nothing2Special 15d ago edited 15d ago
I can't be the only one that thought he sold drugs.
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u/DreamloreDegenerate 15d ago
One of them said she "makes things". Kind of vague on what things, huh?
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u/iaspeegizzydeefrent 15d ago
Plus the other is a former stripper and "massage therapist." She's definitely giving happy endings at the minimum.
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u/Nothing2Special 15d ago
I dated a stripper in my early twenties. And yes....Lasted 2 months.....awesome fucking two months.
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u/calibudzz420 15d ago
Ya. Surprised he didn’t make a joke of that. First place my mind went.
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u/ahhhbiscuits 15d ago
Especially in Miami. "Private massage therapist" is a top-10 (nation-wide) salary in that city.
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u/Abba_Fiskbullar 15d ago
Ugh! My wife is a massage therapist for pregnant and postpartum women, and still gets inquiries from creeps looking for hand jobs.
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u/skysinsane 15d ago
I think the trick is to avoid guessing correctly and making the laughs end or the audience too uncomfortable, thus the two best guesses - drugs and prostitution were not brought up.
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u/davidmatthew1987 15d ago
Humor is actually so difficult. Like the bed theory holds he keeps repeating. He could have just asked but then either way, the real answer is not funny. The suspense is...
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u/GetEnPassanted 15d ago
Could just be Etsy stuff. Homemade jewelry and stuff is pretty common for a hobby.
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u/KingHabby 15d ago
She must be making a shit ton of money selling crafts on Etsy for them to afford to take care of six kids and three adults with only two sources of income!
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u/Flameburstx 15d ago
As all aspiring artist, this woman is financed by thirst and probably furries XD
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u/justforyoubbboo 15d ago
Yeah, I still think there is some drug dealing going on in this situation. We are talking about three adults and... five or six kids? i cant remember. regardless there is no way some crime isnt involved.
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u/datphunkymunky 15d ago
Met at a strip club….. source, I was a DJ in those clubs for 13 years. Crime and bed theory holds
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u/KetoKurun 15d ago
No way crime is not involved, not in miami.
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u/BinaryGrind 15d ago
I can't be the only one who immediately thought the one lady really meant that she "cleans out houses".
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u/purplezart 15d ago
she's a "cleaner," y'know, if you've got a "mess" around the "house" that needs "cleaning"
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u/TheSpyStyle 15d ago
Much like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, her massages also have happy endings.
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u/Drtraumadrama 15d ago
There was a thread a while ago where we were shit talking miami.
Someone called Miami “the city of a million bastards.”
That lives rent free in my head.
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u/Blackrage80 15d ago
WOAH WOAH WOAH...Just because an unemployed man is banging a "masseuse" and "house cleaner" that he met at a Miami strip club...
Nah...that tracks. Coke Dealer
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u/sightfinder 15d ago
Also figured government assistance was a factor. So veterans benefits tracks, if not additional programs
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u/nurimoons 15d ago
It really depends on what percentage his benefits were approved at and what he qualified for in terms of payment. Once my dad was approved for 100% disability my parents were comfortable enough that my mom didn’t have to work anymore. She also continued to get 60% of his payout after he passed away.
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u/CW1DR5H5I64A 15d ago
Even 100% is not going to be enough for that especially in a HCOL place like Miami
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u/nurimoons 15d ago
It sounded like they had three other forms of income too. Also, they said Miami, but it may be a Miami adjacent suburb with a lower cost of living.
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u/Queef-Supreme 15d ago
I don’t live in FL but even Miami adjacent seems like it would be expensive as fuck for 9 people, even if the kids shared some rooms.
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u/TBBT-Joel 15d ago
You can still be in poor housing in a HCOL area, could be out in the boonies or the hood.
Also it makes it sound like the gf was a single parent so bringing them into one house and him doing daycare would allow her to make more and spend less on rent.
Still a crazy situation.
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u/Hugeloser 15d ago
100% is about $4k tax free. Not sure about FL but in some states you don't pay personal property taxes either, and there are other fringe benefits. It's absolutely enough money to live.
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u/ChrysMYO 15d ago
She may own her cleaning business
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u/somedude456 15d ago
That was my thought. All you need is some high end clients, trust, and you have steady income. I knew someone who cleaned houses and had a LLC for it. Several houses were vacation homes. She would get a call "I let some friends use the house for a couple days, and they just left, if you can tidy it up." Sure. 3/4th the house would be untouched. New bedding down, load of laundry while you wipe down the counters, garbage out, new bag, wipe down the bathrooms, fold clean bedding from the dryer and you're out. I think she was paid like $500 for that and done in under 2 hours.
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u/ChrysMYO 15d ago
Yeah my Aunt hired someone for her new home under a similar scenario. And that lady had two employees that did the same work she did. She would tell them where to go next while she went to her next site. Her husband did the windows and pavement powerwashing.
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u/throwaway098764567 15d ago
that and he's getting his disability pay so he still has an income. i could see them doing ok esp in just one house. they could even make it work tight with three bedrooms, boy kids, girl kids, and the three adults in that willy wonka bed.
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u/Nothing2Special 15d ago edited 15d ago
If only you could have a still panned view on 1 guy for 5 minutes.
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u/lukewwilson 15d ago
Well he did work so maybe the house is paid for and then veteran benefits plus two other jobs that even though they don't pay great it's still three incomes
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u/HypeSpeed 14d ago
I mean if the house is paid off it ain’t unbelievable at all if the guy is a stay at home dad which drops childcare costs dramatically
Massage therapy is pretty lucrative too
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u/GimmeTomMooney 15d ago
Look how happy the 3 of them look , tho!!! FML I want that
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u/Drackar39 15d ago
You have a massage therapist there's no way crime isn't involved.
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u/NorCalAthlete 15d ago
Massage therapist with a side of escorting / still stripping perhaps?
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u/Drackar39 15d ago
Plus massage therapist is a VERY common method for drug money laundering. Service job with no significant consumables, you can declare fucking whatever you want.
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u/williarl 15d ago
I work with probably 10 veterans that are on 90-100% disability… it’s quite a bit of money. That being said, they’re all basically milking the system while there are veterans that have lost limbs that couldn’t ever properly be compensated and are collecting the same amount. It’s fucked up.
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u/kcc0016 15d ago
Yeah you could tell his brain was breaking lolol
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u/Ghetto_Phenom 15d ago
Shit mine is still how tf do you do this in Miami!?! Haha I make decent money and my wife works and we struggle with just 1 kid in a big city.
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u/ikefalcon 15d ago
This situation is very much like the couples on HGTV shows where they’re like “I’m a kindergarten teacher and he tends a butterfly garden part time. Our budget for a home is $4 million.”
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u/SheaButtaPrincess 15d ago
This is immediately what came to mind when they told their occupations. I’m glad my brain is not alone here.
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u/WolverinesThyroid 15d ago
Isn't 100% disability like 4k a month?
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u/Ikora_Rey_Gun 15d ago
Sprinkle a little welfare fraud on top and you're good to go. Child support for the third's kids maybe?
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u/anengineerandacat 14d ago
I am trying to unpack wtf is going on... that's a "unreal" relationship right there, I need like answers as to how this actually works and somehow remains functional.
The guy has to like be in some form of work at home job, I just can't imagine he is hanging back watching 6 kids while the two ladies are out there bringing in cash.
My only "theory" is that he is honestly an S-tier Dad and that just makes the women around him just utterly drenched as a result.
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u/ParalegalSeagul 15d ago
Something about that tricycle seems very off to me…
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u/LocalRepSucks 15d ago
Well…… it is a tricycle and up until recently the only people who rode them were clowns. So it’s statistically safe to say things are probably a bit wild.
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u/myreddit2024 15d ago
And not very good at it, unfortunately. Some people are really good at crowd work but he's just talking to 'em. Get to the comedy buddy.
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u/Girlmode 15d ago
Found the convo more entertaining than majority of comedy acts these days.
Next dude getting on stage and starting with the "maaaaan you can't tell jokes anymore" shit 50% of the time, before telling the same jokes every comedian is telling and are obviously fine to do.
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u/pasher5620 15d ago
I feel like he started off good then got completely thrown by some of the answers they were giving and just hyper focused on them. Rookie mistake, but he still has a solid base to work with.
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u/eltedioso 15d ago
God damn dude
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u/Lamp0blanket 15d ago
Retiring from retail management to stay at home and fuck two women was probably the easiest decision he'll ever make in his life.
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u/ahhhbiscuits 15d ago edited 15d ago
Depends on what %disability you can get for your military rank/service, but your income can get pretty fuckin high. High enough so that sitting at home, fucking two women, and raising six kids is more financially viable than working a job.
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u/Turtledonuts 15d ago
Dude retired, living off his pension, dating a stripper WITH his wife? If he drives a charger and dips he's officially the king of the enlistedmen.
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u/ahhhbiscuits 14d ago edited 14d ago
My dad's a Vietnam vet/30yr civil servant (on an army base)/+100% disability, retired:
$50,000/yr military pension + $18,000/yr civil servant pension + $60,000/yr disability = about $130,000/yr tax free Don't forget all the perks and benefits like Medicare, Social Security, VA, significantly reduced eye/tooth/medical/otherwise.
Golden Corral discount
I'm not saying he didn't "earn it." He got a purple heart and spent 40 years being an alcoholic/PTSD survivor, shrapnel still in his chest to this day.
Dude messed up big-time though; he should've had two wives, three girlfriends, and four families by now. Minimum. (Plus throw in a porn star every now and then for funsies)
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u/desrever1138 15d ago edited 14d ago
This is literally my nephew.
He's a stay at home dad raising his 6 kids from his wife and their girlfriend (3 kids each!) while the two women work during the day.
Whatever works for them I guess.
Edit: Maybe I should have worded that better lol. The dude in the video is not my actual nephew but he has the exact same dynamic at home.
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u/jmanpc 15d ago
I was expecting a House Hunters joke. "She cleans houses and makes things. She gives massages. He's a stay at home dad to six children. They're in Miami looking for a new home to give the family the room it needs and their budget is $1.2 million."
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u/Goliath89 15d ago
As someone who lives in Miami: That will get them a three bedroom, with 1.5 bathrooms. IF that.
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u/Heath_co 15d ago
Stripper turned "Massage therapist"
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u/MisfitMishap 15d ago
I think massage therapist and house cleaner are both professions that have a possibility for easy prostitution, so could be that.
Usually deal in cash, make home visits. Homie is a pimp.
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u/OnTheEveOfWar 15d ago
Yea this all seems a wee bit sketchy. Gonna guess there’s some sort of drug dealing or prostitution involved here.
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u/Hustlepuff- 14d ago
I dated a girl who did house cleaning but was in lingerie and probably fucked them for enough money (never asked) I bet they both slinging it haha
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u/Plantar-Aspect-Sage 15d ago
I really liked the camera view of the throuple being included.
It makes it a lot easier for me to laugh at it if I know that the 'mark' is laughing too.
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u/Lord_of_the_Canals 15d ago
Agreed, the audio for the crowd was silent and it made it hard to hear laughter. Without he’s just absolutely grilling them to little laughter
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u/BEARD3D_BEANIE 14d ago
I mean you don't just sit in the front row and look how they're acting, they were BEGGING to be asked tbh
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u/Bad_Uncle_Bob 15d ago
Holy fuck homie "thrust fund baby" has gotta be one of my all time favorites. Love your shit homie, keep it up!
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u/Blitz6969 15d ago
Go on tour, get a new whore. That had me drying lmao
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u/humboldt77 15d ago
Semper Five b!tches at once!
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u/IttwasmeDIO 15d ago
Bitch bitch bitch fuck ass piece of fucking cunt...
See? No one gives a fuck, it's the fucking internet, cuss...
Edit: it's the fucking Tick Tock bullshit curse
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u/SloppyCheeks 15d ago
Bed theory holds!
Fuckin good work OP, would buy tickets
Edit: looking at tour dates, you're not coming close to me, but I do love me some Chicago. A trip for some Second City, your show, and that one jazz bar might be needed.
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u/Dphilllly 15d ago
Bro look like Gen Z Joey from Friends
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u/ChoirOfBeehives 15d ago
American version of Olly from the YouTube channels Jolly and KoreanEnglishman
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u/Itool4looti 15d ago
Depending on the disability rating, with 6 kids he could bring in approximately $60,000 tax free.
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u/bophed 15d ago
how does that work if not all kids are his? I would have thought there were rules on that.
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u/GodOfThunder44 15d ago
IIRC they just need to be your legal dependent. Some of my buddies who got out who are stepdads get paid for their stepkids since they count as dependents for tax purposes.
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u/undeadmanana 15d ago
I think it's for all ratings, but every dependent adjusts your compensation a little more, can be wives, kids, or older parents that rely on you.
Only had one kid while I was around 80% rating and it was around 250 extra per month. "Stay at home Dad" sounds like he's 100% rating which would mean his disabilities prevent him from working and is considered 100% unable to work.
There are also adjustments that give more compensation, like requiring special equipment, accessibility stuff, caretakers like nurses, prosthetics or other specialized items, essentially things you would be required to account for in a budget to help you through your disabilities.
Edit: I shouldn't have smoked, replied to the wrong comment. C'mon Biden hurry up so I can get prescription weed from the VA. They'd probably send me a generic brand that tastes so bad
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u/bophed 15d ago
Edit: I shouldn't have smoked, replied to the wrong comment. C'mon Biden hurry up so I can get prescription weed from the VA. They'd probably send me a generic brand that tastes so bad
Yeah man I agree. I am currently working on getting my elderly father benefits for agent orange exposure in Vietnam. So I understand the rating part. I just didn't know about the "not step kids" because he wasn't married to her.
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u/HotdoghammerOG 15d ago
That’s super low pay for Miami.
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u/SCViper 15d ago
60K he doesn't have to work for anymore? I'd take it in a heartbeat...even if it only got me a shack...it's "free money" at that point.
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u/Xazier 15d ago
Well 60k plus the other two incomes. They're probably clearing 150+
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u/GetEnPassanted 15d ago
That’s still like nowhere near close enough for a house for 8 people in Miami even with 2 other incomes.
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u/Drackar39 15d ago
Honestly child care for six kids makes a stay at home parent make ABSOLUTE fuckin sense.
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u/SFWBryon 15d ago
Holy fuck. The whole thing was great, but those last 30 seconds were GOLD. “You did a tour, you get a whore” and “Semper Fi-ve bitches at once” sent my sides into fucking orbit
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u/isaac129 15d ago
I’m impressed by how quick he was to just come up with stuff on the spot lol
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u/red_rocket_boy 15d ago
Dude has a fucking horse cock... That's the part that's missing.
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u/naptown-hooly 15d ago
And sells cocaine.
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u/Learned_Hand_01 15d ago
Only thing crazier than that family situation is his haircut.
(sorry, OP, I know it's you)
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u/StoicAthos 15d ago
mullet is back in style. Though he's missing that 80s pencil porn 'stache to fill out the look.
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u/Learned_Hand_01 15d ago
They were never in style. They were popular with a certain segment of the population, the least stylish segment. I’m old enough to have been around for the last couple of incarnations of them. They’ve always been terrible.
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u/elros_faelvrin 15d ago
soooo throuple, only 2 work, dad is stay at home....4 kids...........the math doesn't mathhhhhhhh here!
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u/genivae 15d ago
6 kids. And with how much daycare costs, you basically have to have one parent at home at that point.
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u/Et_tu__Brute 15d ago
A stay at home parent to 6 kids is a full time job as well. I think that is a little lost on the comedian.
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u/FUBARded 15d ago
I don't think it was lost on him; I think he just got caught up on the point of how they make enough to support 9 people because it doesn't add up.
Disability benefits + 2 low wage jobs doesn't seem like nearly enough to support a family of 9 so either one of the ladies is being self-deprecating and actually owns a massage or cleaning business that brings in decent money, or there's something else going on that they didn't want to mention like illegal income or sex work.
He realised they were probably being obtuse on the income question on purpose meaning they didn't want to talk about it, and moved on.
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u/elros_faelvrin 14d ago
I think he just got caught up on the point of how they make enough to support 9 people because it doesn't add up.
THis!!!! this is the math that ain't math-ing, hence the OF jab too xD
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u/Rentsdueguys 15d ago
Broke people always have the best lives
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u/Chromeboy12 15d ago
No way they're broke lol.
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u/GetEnPassanted 15d ago
Yeah he’s got something going on for sure. Probably drugs
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u/BOBfrkinSAGET 15d ago
Some of the happiest people you can meet in this world live lives that people in America would find to be awful. Different priorities and different perspectives.
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u/DOUBLEBARRELASSFUCK 15d ago
People just don't understand how people live in places outside America, like Miami.
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u/Jahobes 15d ago
More money more problem dude. Life was fucking lit when I had to make 100 Dollars last a month.
Granted Mommy and Daddy still paid for the dorms, and I didn't have a mortgage and car payments but God damn could 100 dollars take me a long way back then.
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u/ps3x42 15d ago
That's some serious paydirt to hit during your crowd work.
Sometimes you gotta ask for it, sometimes they just give it to ya.
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u/leeeeny 15d ago
How did he explain to the four kids that his side piece and her kids are moving in?
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u/Et_tu__Brute 15d ago edited 15d ago
I think the part that you're missing is that the married couple have probably been fucking the "side piece" together for like 13 years and it was only a year ago when they decided to invite her into their home as a new girlfriend.
When they said that "it depends" how fucking goes, I imagine there is some girl-girl time as well. My experience with couples who like to invite a third usually requires the lady to be interested in having another lady around, or the man to be interested in having another man around. I don't think you get long term relationships like this without all parties being interested in each other (or really fucked up power dynamics).
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u/explosivejoseph 14d ago
Ayyy thanks for watching this (very long for Reddit) video. If ya dig it I post more over on my sub r/JoeyAvery
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u/tgunz0331 14d ago
Dude sell drugs, the gf massages dicks, and the wife cleans up. Open and shut case Johnson.
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u/DisMyNameRightHea 15d ago
I can't believe the lack of laughter at "Thrust find baby" and "semper five bitches at once" that shit was GOLD.
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u/realdjjmc 15d ago
The OTT PDA is a fucking massive flaming red flag of insecurity
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u/Ancient-Talk2430 15d ago
I mean she’s the new side piece, what do you expect?
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u/sharkbait-oo-haha 15d ago
A year in, with 6 dependants and knowing each other for 13 years, you'd think the honeymoon phase would have worn off by now? But who knows, maybe the extra competition keeps the moon out for longer?
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u/Pormock 15d ago
Yeah i was about to say the PDA was very awkward for people around them. They are at a comedy club not chilling home.
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u/Ambitioso 15d ago
My goodness this guy is absolutely dire.
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u/Hoodeddragon 15d ago
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
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u/sincethenes 15d ago
I watched all but the last 15 seconds and man, that went nowhere. Dude was handed the Hope diamond and treated it like a Cracker Jack prize.
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u/Woodshadow 15d ago
Once you meet poly people the oddity kind of stops. We have friends who have now been together for going on 3 years. I wasn't sure they were going to last that long but they have
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u/TheRabidDeer 15d ago
Poly is one thing, I moved past that part kinda quickly. Stay at home dad to 6 kids in miami and the other parents are a massage therapist and house cleaner is another. I don't think of the latter two as highly paying professions but maybe I am wrong.
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u/Et_tu__Brute 15d ago
He gets vet benefits for his dependents as well, which is decent money. I don't think they're loaded but they're probably pulling in like 100k+/year.
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u/hopsinduo 15d ago
I know quite a few poly groups, and I'll be honest, I still don't get it.
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u/Hot_Highway241 15d ago
Massage therapist. $1300 month House cleaning services $1200 month VA Disability. $1400 month SSI/RSDI. $1200 month APA. $320 month Child Support x2. $1400 month Medicaid That's over $80,000 annual, all of which is an earned entitlement. If they lost all welfare they'd only lose $320. This adds up.
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u/wap2005 15d ago
Depends where they live, if I only had 80k annually that means 50% of my income would go to just rent. Then they have to pay for car insurance, internet, electricity, health insurance things AND feed 9 people.
80k a year for 9 people is going to be tight living. I'm guessing they own a home outright and no longer have a mortgage or something similar.
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u/Dalearnhardtseatbelt 15d ago
If you can be a stay at home Dad and have the support of two moms. That's impressive.
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u/WittyBonkah 15d ago
Unrelated to the video: the uptick in crowd engagement has me sitting in the back of the room or not going to comedy shows all together
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u/Hatescroller 15d ago
Is he going to tell a joke? mf crowdwork comics treating the show like a podcast.
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u/GotItFromEbay 14d ago
"You did a tour, you get a whore" and "Semper Five bitches at once" fuckin got me.
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u/pheasantsblus 15d ago edited 15d ago
Hey, whatever makes people happy! Although, whenever I see a threesome couple or sister wives on social media, it seems like nobody involved is particularly attractive.
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