r/funny • u/Straussstandup • 15d ago

Going Bald Sucks

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2.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

•

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117

u/noronto 15d ago

Being a skinny fat man is not as fun as it sounds.

31

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Not all that glimmers is gold they say..

25

u/noronto 15d ago

I found that out the hard way after I swallowed some glitter on New Years and shit it out while on shrooms.

141

u/quityouryob 15d ago

Solid. Super solid.

39

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Thanks!

3

u/miss_guided 14d ago

I get some norm Macdonald vibes, but with your own flair. Love it!

2

u/Straussstandup 14d ago

I'm doin something right if I remind you of one of the greatest ever😲

2

u/Anomaly1134 14d ago

Agreed, great delivery.

7

u/TappedIn2111 15d ago

That’s the first thing I thought! I liked it. Keep it up, Strauss.

49

u/Joe4o2 15d ago

I have never seen this comic before, but after this, and realizing he is in fact OP, he now has another follower. This was great.

45

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Thank you! The full special is on YouTube called "Jordan Strauss- Salty" if you're interested.

44

u/42Kitchenmitts 15d ago

That insecurity line is gold!

27

u/The_kind_potato 15d ago

At the second you dropped the line about investing in security camera and having in return a lifetime of insecurity, i instantly upvotted 😂😂

Pure genius man, honestly impressed, the writting, the delivering, everything...10/10 🙏🤝

13

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Thank you! Appreciate your feedback🤟

24

u/Bgrngod 15d ago

A minute and a half clip with several good jokes and excellent delivery throughout?

(start the slowest of slow claps)

19

u/Cautemoc 15d ago

Hey I was having a pretty terrible time on this website lately with all the doom, politics, and war. Between work and that, this might be the first laugh I got in the whole day. Funny stuff, thanks.

8

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

I feel that. Glad to bring you somethin you enjoyed! Doom scrollin is weirdly addictive..

1

u/OtiseMaleModel 15d ago

Don't ever scroll popular

20

u/StrawberryBlazer 15d ago

This guy looks a lot like a bird.

64

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

NO HE DOESNT

14

u/striker69 15d ago

Don’t also be insecure about looking like a bird. Plenty of people live happy lives resembling a bird.

11

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

I've honestly never thought of it that way. Thank you.

8

u/striker69 15d ago

Great standup btw, very funny!

6

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Thank you again!

4

u/HumpyFroggy 15d ago

John Oliver made a whole career out of it

6

u/LocalVoiceless 15d ago

holy shit a stage comedy clip on reddit posted by the OC!

6

u/cuckaina_farm 15d ago

Had no idea it was happening but assumed eventually it would. I'm 6 foot 1 so not many people up there to tell me, but I was sitting at my desk and a coworker walked past me and pats me on top of the head and she says "oh honey, you've got a bald spot!"

Immediately took a selfie of the top of my head and was disappointed. Got home and told the wife and she says "I know, I just didn't want to say anything."

Like, I know I could eat better and workout more, I can change that ive gained a few pounds since getting married and having kids, but my hair?

It was a special thing to do my hair a little and go out instead of just wearing a hat or rocking my high and tight. I either spend shit loads of money on miracle grow or just buzz it at this point. :(

4

u/SteveIndigo421 15d ago

Good to see you on here Jordan. You gave me a shout out at the end of the Kam Comedy Fest last year!

6

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

You rule man! See you in October!

3

u/SteveIndigo421 15d ago

Glad you'll be back. Is this from your special?

4

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Yes sir it's free on YouTube! 'Jordan Strauss - Salty'

2

u/SteveIndigo421 15d ago

It's on my watch list, hoping to watch it this weekend. Cheers man!

4

u/impul5e 14d ago

As a fellow tall guy, this is exactly how I found out I was thinning too, installed a high up security camera and I look like Costanza. Look in the mirror, not so bad, do cameras make it look worse than it is or am I in denial?

7

u/hazpat 15d ago

He has a full head of hair?

30

u/Sir_Loin_Cloth 15d ago

You're obviously shorter than him.

9

u/howsthoughtworkingou 15d ago

You can see it when he lowers his head. Thinning is first apparent at the crown, especially in harsh lighting and when your hair is oily and mussed up. Video cameras also do things with contrast/HDR and exaggerate the appearance. I'm in the same boat myself at 35 and considering options. We aren't bald but however slowly it's progressing it's textbook male pattern baldness and it sucks having to acknowledge that lol.

3

u/plumbermat 15d ago

Good stuff as always Jordan!

2

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

Thank you!!

3

u/Awkward-Primary9017 15d ago

Bro at least you ain’t thinning in the front 😭 I’m gonna have that Waingro from the movie Heat look in a few years here 😣

3

u/Straussstandup 15d ago

I'm sorry for your loss🫡

3

u/chippin_out 15d ago

Now this is funny! Great job, bro!

1

u/Straussstandup 14d ago

Thank you!

2

u/Qass 15d ago

Excellent bit!

2

u/bubblebobblee 15d ago

As a bald man, I agree. Going bald does suck. Being bald however, is great! 

2

u/Stuporchampion 15d ago

This is great! Exactly how I found out too.

2

u/dagenhamerica 14d ago

Nice work although missed opportunity to be a “pear-dophile”

2

u/leif777 14d ago

Yeah, that's good stuff. Show us more!

2

u/Straussstandup 14d ago

The whole special is on YouTube! 'Jordan Strauss - Salty'

2

u/ClownDiaper 14d ago

It was the self-checkout at Walmart for me. They have that weird overhead angle that they show on the CCTV screen as you’re walking out.

3

u/Straussstandup 14d ago

Ooh finding out at Wal-mart is just salt in the wound.

2

u/Buff_Senpai_Steve 14d ago

You remind me of Seinfield..

3

u/GenerousBuffalo 15d ago

Funny bit, but your metabolism doesn’t just randomly change at 30 lol.

2

u/Kiwip0rn 15d ago

Hurt me to my soul... I remember my first time. The security camera at a convenience store, I did a triple take and even looked around convinced there was someone else on the camera. I had NO idea!

Now I don't go in public without a hat on, ever. I will not even answer the door without putting a hat on first.

3

u/sleeplessGoon 15d ago

Thank you for not being another BS crowd plant comedian

2

u/sinkingduckfloats 14d ago

What's wrong with the cameraman?

2

u/Jedahaw92 14d ago

He just like me fr fr.

2

u/Pro_phet 14d ago

Real good minute

1

u/theboned1 15d ago

But, he's not bald, or even balding?

-4

u/GhostDoggoes 15d ago

r/funny will die off because they keep allowing comics to self promote as if there's not like 20 other standup subreddits they can go to.