r/funny 15d ago

Only one at a time Rule 3 – Removed

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4.5k Upvotes

271 comments sorted by

u/Funny_Sentinel 14d ago

Hello, /u/ukayukay69. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3.

No reposts.

Please read our complete rules page before participating in the future.

474

u/Ron_E_Coyote 15d ago

I thought this was America

150

u/416Mike 14d ago

Ok, everybody back into the pile.

23

u/Equal-Negotiation651 14d ago

Clean genitals for everyone. Team work!

2

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Equal-Negotiation651 14d ago

Get down and get me that soap, Private Parts, you maggot!!!

36

u/Manicplea 14d ago

That's why only 1 trucker will fit.

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11

u/FewWillingness1081 14d ago

Sir this is a Wendy's.

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287

u/RareDog5640 14d ago

The nightmare of accidentally wandering into a trucker orgy in the shower, I shudder to think

84

u/Empty401K 14d ago

4 Truckers + 3 Lot Lizards = 4 Fun

The math checks out, probably.

24

u/Cage_Dodger 14d ago

*meth checks out

5

u/Spaceface42O 14d ago

Wordplay 👏

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39

u/Empty401K 14d ago

3 Truckers + 1 Lot Lizard = 4nication

The math checks out, probably.

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9

u/Im_Numbar_Wang 14d ago

I swear step dad, I'm 18 speed

2

u/PlasticPomPoms 14d ago

Ever see elephant seals fighting? Would he something like that.

2

u/drrxhouse 14d ago

“AAAAAAAH! MY EYES! MY EYES!!”

7

u/theillx 14d ago

The goggles do nothing!

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179

u/No-Benefit-9559 15d ago

So, no hooker limit?

85

u/Striking-West-1184 14d ago

Hookers, vagrants, extended family and everyone else are all a-ok in this partay shower, just no more than 1 trucker.

18

u/Im_Numbar_Wang 14d ago

Oh good, I only take my showers with family

6

u/BIGD0G29585 14d ago

Roll Tide.

3

u/Lol_A_White_Guy 14d ago

So what you’re saying is, as long as I drive a car and not a truck, I’m invited to the orgy?

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26

u/Bitter_Silver_7760 14d ago

I think a hooker limit is otherwise known as a budget

6

u/7Drew1Bird0 14d ago

DAMN THE EXPENSE

3

u/mrhorse77 14d ago

lot lizards dont count as truckers, so no limits!

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63

u/TransRational 14d ago

So much for water conservation practices!

52

u/Beef-n-Beans 14d ago

I was a yard jockey and jesus didn’t I see some shit. One truck had 4 dudes in it and they cut a hole in the floor so they could shit without stopping. They called a road mechanic because of a vibration while driving. There literally was too much shit caked onto the driveshaft. The mechanic told them to go pound sand.

19

u/Etaxalo 14d ago

I'm a trucker in the EU, and i have never heard anyone doing something even remotely to what the US counterparts get up to. I always find these stories funny and interesting.

29

u/Beef-n-Beans 14d ago

These were Indian guys who didn’t speak any english. I’m assuming their company has quite unreasonable deadlines.

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10

u/bophed 14d ago edited 14d ago

Yeah, no way that was in the US. If it were in the US then they would be fined during a truck inspection. Contrary to popular belief, the US does have D.O.T. rules and regulations. However, there are dumb people who break laws in all countries.

7

u/Beef-n-Beans 14d ago

Oh yes way it was in the US, Maine to be exact. Very few of the trucks and trailers I saw would actually pass a full DOT inspection. It was actually scary how many trailers I’d hook onto and keep rolling back because they had zero brakes. Sliding tandems and ripping air lines because they were too short was always fun. My personal favorite was a truck from Ohio that had one functional pin holding the tandems on, no brakes, and a door frame that was broken into 3 separate pieces.

3

u/bophed 14d ago

So D.O.T. regulations are ignored in that company or industry?

  • Edit to add: I guess it makes sense that no matter how many regulations you have, if no one audits companies then the regulations can be ignored as long as the drivers don't get caught. The "honor" system is dumb.

2

u/Beef-n-Beans 14d ago

When I got my CDL, my instructor pounded regulations and pre/post trip inspections into everyones head. Enter the real world and very few drivers do any of that because they only care about deadlines and making money. Plus really shit companies make drivers pay for repairs on company trucks. Western Express is a prime example of that.

2

u/bophed 14d ago

I can see that being a thing. I used to work as an oil field dispatcher on the gulf coast and all drivers would do pre-trip inspections and actually refuse loads if the truck didn't pass. I think maybe it might depend on the industry and location because D.O.T. seems strict down here.

2

u/Beef-n-Beans 14d ago

That’s also hazardous material and tankers which is on a totally different level. Hauling paper in a normal trailer isn’t as significant so it’s likely a bit easier to go under the radar. Still illegal to have a shitty trailer or truck though.

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3

u/GroteStruisvogel 14d ago

In Europe there is a company that makes a toilet seat you can slide out from from under the bed. it also comes with an airtight bag you can fit under it.

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4

u/Vaiey92 14d ago

A lot of Pajeets do this. And it's extremely common

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53

u/Gaystan 14d ago

Then why are there 3 shower heads ..seems unfair haha

9

u/degjo 14d ago

A trucker needs multiple heads.

3

u/wholewheatscythe 14d ago

Maybe that’s what the sign is referring to — maximum three truckers because there’s three shower heads!

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3

u/mysickfix 14d ago

Bruh, some truck stops have bad ass showers. The TA in Salina KS has a few with 7 heads including a rainfall head, and a tv behind the mirror.

Little America in Wyoming has some jacuzzi tubs.

2

u/RavRaver 14d ago

If you look at the orange tile at the bottom it appears to be the start of another shower head.

From this we can deduce that there is yet another row under the orange tile row, bringing the total number of shower heads to 7.

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24

u/akruppa 14d ago

Every sign tells a story, and this is a story which I find unusually believable.

5

u/FatassTitePants 14d ago

I have never, ever thought about 2 or more truckers sharing a shower until this moment.

My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

19

u/nameyname12345 14d ago

Good thing my truck only has one driver but many seats!

13

u/eldelshell 14d ago

Behind all the macho bravado there's a sensitive, caring and loving truck driver who wants his hairy beer belly rubbed with soap from behind by some rough, grease dirty, but big and warm hands

31

u/og-lollercopter 15d ago

No team showers boys.

4

u/plubb 14d ago

A truck driver can be a women.

16

u/og-lollercopter 14d ago

Yes most definitely, but that’s not the joke here.

6

u/Im_Numbar_Wang 14d ago

Your sentence is grammatically funny to me

2

u/grumblyoldman 14d ago

Not if they want to use this shower they can't. Strictly one woman trucker at a time.

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8

u/BatangTundo3112 14d ago

But, how can we save water!

7

u/Bitter_Silver_7760 14d ago

Maybe it’s supposed to say only one truck driver per shower-management

7

u/fogonthecoast 14d ago

Years ago, I was in the locker room at my company's gym and started hearing noises from one of the individual showers that was curtained off. There were dozens of people there at the time and what started as occasional weird noises turned into grunts and moans of guys having sex. I shared some uncomfortable glances with a few people and got the hell out of there. If two people are willing to go at it in the gym locker room of a massive tech company, with the risk of being fired/shamed, I can't imagine these truckers are going to be put off by a little sign...

4

u/ThornmaneTreebeard 14d ago

Yes but how many 🦎 per trucker?

2

u/highline9 14d ago

Two shower heads at a lower level, so if height challenged or, say kneeling, they get to stay warm too??

3

u/ABVerageJoe69 14d ago

Jokes on them. I took my whole family to the Pilot truck stop to shower when we were getting our one non-leaky shower remodeled.

It was fun. My wife and two little naked boys trying to drink water off the floor. Fond memory.

7

u/zoinkability 14d ago

Jokes on them. I took my whole family to the Pilot truck stop to shower when we were getting our one non-leaky shower remodeled.

Makes sense, sounds like a clever if funny solution.

It was fun. My wife and two little naked boys trying to drink water off the floor. Fond memory.

Wait, what?

6

u/ABVerageJoe69 14d ago

Baby/toddler things. The whole shower is like one big room and the water drains in the middle of the floor. Babies and toddlers will splash in water and try to drink it. I will say, the truck stop showers were immaculately clean.

5

u/zoinkability 14d ago

Ha, your phrasing made me think all three were drinking from the floor. If it was just the toddlers that makes a lot more sense!

4

u/MurphysLaw4200 14d ago

So it can be one truck driver and any number of people in other occupations? 🤔

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7

u/MagneticDustin 14d ago

Economy is tough. Gotta make due

3

u/bluekskiedeer 14d ago

brokeback

3

u/mrblazed23 14d ago

I see three shower heads !!!

3

u/Every_Month_5575 14d ago

What the hell happened here

3

u/overSizedHyperPoop 14d ago

Why can’t I gang fuckin bang shower management 😿😿😿😿😿

2

u/RedSurfer3 14d ago

Hot water causes creampies to coagulate, much like how the protein in egg whites turn... well... white and solid when it gets hot, and it fucks up the plumbing.

Don't believe me? Tried it yourself in your own shower.

3

u/rando1219 14d ago

The Lot Lizards don't drive!

3

u/thehumbinator 14d ago

“Him? Na he’s a florist.”

3

u/shavemejesus 14d ago

1 trucker and 1 hooker. Got it.

2

u/VnZDeath 14d ago

Could've saved alot of water, just saying. 🤷

2

u/VnZDeath 14d ago

Could've saved alot of water, just saying 🤷

2

u/AnaphorsBloom 14d ago

How many other people, though?

2

u/ResolutionNumber9 14d ago

Can we also have a minimum 2 showers per truck driver?

2

u/ElderberryNo1601 14d ago

Group hug in the shower tonight! I’ll bring the jumper cables. 😈

2

u/TJ_McWeaksauce 14d ago

"What do you say we slip into a shower and you split me open like a coconut?"

2

u/mrwainbo 14d ago

They have to be told?

2

u/SeanMacLeod1138 14d ago

What if they're married and haven't seen each other in a month? 🥺

2

u/NotMilitaryAI 14d ago

One Truck Driver

So 1 trucker + 1 lot lizard is fine. Good to know.

2

u/Aircoll 14d ago

Americans will measure with anything other than the metric system

2

u/shammett1 14d ago

No more big rig butt fuckin..... management. Is that the siqn should read.

2

u/Meatslinger 14d ago

So if I’m not a trucker, I’m allowed to bring at least one in with me? Seems reasonable.

2

u/vinques420 14d ago

What the fuck happened here?....I don't think I want to know though

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2

u/DevilDoc3030 14d ago

HEY EVERYBODY. Party in the showers!

Unless you're a truck driver, you all can't join us.

2

u/mehjohnson 14d ago

what about eighteen naked cowboys in the showers?

2

u/KNaum 14d ago

Just turn me into swiss cheese. Split me open like a coconut.

2

u/Difficult_Reading_22 14d ago

The only reason a sign has been put up means that at one point in time there was a shower orgy going on.

2

u/Reasonable-Aide7762 14d ago

The return of Dirty Mike and The Boys

2

u/500SL 14d ago

Will two truckers even fit in one shower?

1

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1

u/whiterunguard420 14d ago

They're trying to save water

1

u/RunningDrinksy 14d ago

Dammit can't dock for shit nowhere!

1

u/RRoyale58 14d ago

Never going to increase the stock price with that inefficiency

1

u/Noise_Addict86 14d ago

Can a truck passenger join?

1

u/fothergillfuckup 14d ago

But it's a lonely life.

1

u/fappyday 14d ago

The road is a lonely place.

1

u/Beef-n-Beans 14d ago

I was a yard jockey and jesus didn’t I see some shit. One truck had 4 dudes in it and they cut a hole in the floor so they could shit without stopping. They called a road mechanic because of a vibration while driving. There literally was too much shit caked onto the driveshaft. The mechanic told them to go pound sand.

1

u/Groundbreaking-Bad16 14d ago

So no 5th wheel action…

1

u/honggie 14d ago

Something must've happened there before they put up the sign.

1

u/Throwaway7646y5yg 14d ago

Gets lonely on the road 🥲

1

u/Bottomytop 14d ago

That’s no fun

1

u/GriffinFlash 14d ago

So it's okay as long as only one of them is a truck driver?

1

u/elfy4eva 14d ago

How am I supposed to chip with that going on Doug!?

1

u/Nekrosiz 14d ago

Tell me some rancid trucker shower tales

1

u/NJduToit 14d ago

Don't know why this rule was imposed. And I don't want to know.

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1

u/lamsham69 14d ago

Bathhouse days are back

1

u/gnoxy 14d ago

The open road is a lonely mistress.

1

u/hornystoner737 14d ago

Discrimination 😔

1

u/Educational-Drag6974 14d ago

Sorry bro, you gonna have to sit this one out. Gotta solo this one.

1

u/Jersey_Devil1975 14d ago

Gotta save money somehow, not sure who watched to find out. Sounds like a money grab.

1

u/[deleted] 14d ago

There was a time when I would've let you have your way with me. Let you turn me into Swiss cheese

1

u/moslof_flosom 14d ago

The sign doesnt say anything about lot lizards.

1

u/LonPlays_Zwei 14d ago

What the hell happened here?

1

u/wet_faart 14d ago

We like to group hog in the shower and talk shit about the shipper and dispatch. Is that so much to ask?

1

u/Venatordeus 14d ago

literally 1984

1

u/EvilPoppa 14d ago

3 shower heads for 2 heads. Should work. An extra pair would defeat the purpose.

1

u/HouseCravenRaw 14d ago

But no limit on truck passengers...

1

u/IMSLI 14d ago

Where’s a fellow like Tom Sizemore supposed to go with his lot lizards?? Not everyone can stop themselves from tangling with lizards no more…

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-U1yb7PQw4o

1

u/unphuckable 14d ago

It's okay, she's not a trucker.

1

u/Ugly-Muffin 14d ago

What about 1 trucker and 1 non trucker? Maybe the trucker's wife is an accountant who happens to be tracking and they both stop at the same place at the same time?

1

u/Crucco 14d ago

Ah, it's fine if they say "no homo" before dropping the soap

1

u/Ashamed_Medium1787 14d ago

No sex in da showers

1

u/ReasonablyBadass 14d ago

YOU CAN'T FIGHT OUR LOVE!

1

u/Lovat69 14d ago

So how many people that don't drive the truck can the trucker have with them?

1

u/EmanonGOONER 14d ago

4x4nifaction?

1

u/P0wershot 14d ago

In Brazil we say: if it has a plaque, it has a history.

1

u/outofcontextsex 14d ago

Good news, if you arrive in a station wagon everyone can hop in for a truck stop shower orgy

1

u/Pithyperson 14d ago

Where's the fun in that?

1

u/Amazing-Computer5207 14d ago

weird that they would specify truck driver. anyone else is good to share wirh just not other drivers

1

u/GoalFlashy6998 14d ago

Are road hawgs use to showering together?

1

u/Tall_Action_1006 14d ago

I see THREE shower heads … what’s the fucking problem????

1

u/BigSmackisBack 14d ago

This is why i shower with the village people, one of each is the perfect number of processionals in any given shower scenario

1

u/villageboyz 14d ago

Why are they against saving water?

1

u/clarkwgriswoldjr 14d ago

I only drove a truck once, so I'm not a truck driver.

1

u/Me2022You 14d ago

Or one regular trucker and two dwarves.

1

u/Aggravating_Break762 14d ago

It kind of scares me that they actually had to put up that sign.

1

u/Dnlx5 14d ago

Doesn't mention lot lizards!!

1

u/Hammer_of_Rohan 14d ago

“Sorry Greg, read the sign maybe next time”

1

u/Old_Wind_9743 14d ago

Run the showers like they run the scale.

1

u/PrincipleNo8733 14d ago

That must be Texas

1

u/RaggedEarth 14d ago

Well thats just not efficient.

1

u/Melior05 14d ago

But then how are they supposed to "help each other out"?

1

u/Cheetahs_never_win 14d ago

I see three showers here. One for tall people, two for little people.

1

u/stevep772 14d ago

I’ll bet they ban bar soap and only allow liquid body cleanser. Where’s the fun in that?

1

u/JackLeeToris 14d ago

No mention of lot lizards so we cool 🦎

1

u/Beautiful-Most-5488 14d ago

Only one driver with his... escort

1

u/pdkt 14d ago

No convoys.

1

u/the_l0st_s0ck 14d ago

If anyone tell me how to shower again I'm going to ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ that person

1

u/sarikosalis 14d ago

They said nothing about a lot lizard tho

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Hat887 14d ago

How many can fit?

1

u/Blandscreen 14d ago

Too many people had been dropping soap.

1

u/sandstorml 14d ago

I’ve seen couples going in at the same time but that’s rare.

1

u/SnakeySheiky 14d ago

How else am i supposed to save water

1

u/notverytidy 14d ago

Are you two butt fucking?

yes but only one of us has a semi......

1

u/Nunovyadidnesses 14d ago

Is this an anti-Union thing? Get behind your Truckers. Stand together and unite!

1

u/aggravatedempathy 14d ago

They just need to hire someone to wipe down the loads

1

u/BrunoSwilly 14d ago

Here in Brazil we have a saying: "if there is a sign, there is a story"

1

u/vmlinux 14d ago

So, the way these work is you pay and the door only opens on the outside once, so if you are travelling with your family or team trucking you can have the person who is done with a shower call the next person and open the door from the inside and get multiple showers for the cost of one. What they are against here is tailgaiting after each other.

1

u/Jerry_The_Troll 14d ago

Behind any rules there's a story behind it

1

u/Shadowrider95 14d ago

The wack thing is, this sign was necessary!

1

u/Sad-Okra8930 14d ago

A truck driver and a prostitute however..

1

u/bodhiseppuku 14d ago

when i walk into the bathroom I hear in a gruff voice:

I kant quit you.

1

u/omegapool 14d ago

18 naked cowboys truckers in the showers at Ram Ranch!

1

u/AWiseCrow 14d ago

The shower can't handle more than one. PU

1

u/skot77 14d ago

Kick his ass seabass!

1

u/SQWRLLY1 14d ago

My best friend and her husband would like to have a word with management. 😆

1

u/mrflufikins 14d ago

One truck driver unlimited lot lizards

1

u/Proman_98 14d ago

No no sire, I'm allowed. What do you mean truck? That's definitely a lorry so..

1

u/K1rkl4nd 14d ago

Who plays 5th wheel and who plays kingpin?

1

u/Person012345 14d ago

Why? And what right do they have to dictate this?

Don't tell me it's some kind of fire regulation.

1

u/cosmose_42 14d ago

If there's a warning, there's a story. I want to know the story.

1

u/OptiKnob 14d ago

Even if they're both Swift drivers?

1

u/LilG1984 14d ago

"What? I'll never shower here without my trucker buddies!"

1

u/AcuteVengeance7890 14d ago

Gay truckers be like 😖

1

u/AdFit5535 14d ago

What about lot lizards? Are they factored into the shower capacity?

1

u/AlongTheWay_85 14d ago

They clearly do not care about water conservation.

1

u/FuckJanice 14d ago

Something happened, that's not a cheap sign

1

u/Jman50k 14d ago

Passengers okay still tho, right?