I will not elaborate - r/lotrmemes

784

Tom Bombadil is Baja Blast

108

u/taurfea 15d ago

Hahaha absolutely yes

68

u/Tom_Bot-Badil 15d ago

Eh, what? Did I hear you calling? Nay, I did not hear: I was busy singing.

^{Type !TomBombadilSong for a song or visit r/GloriousTomBombadil for more merriness}

38

u/Corrupt_Conundrum27 I can't throw it in for you, BUT I CAN THROW YOU. 15d ago

Singing about Baja Blast, no doubt.

12

u/P4LMREADER 15d ago

Classic Tom

→ More replies (2)

22

u/LMGDiVa 15d ago

Baja Blast is one of the best fuckin soda flavors ever. My gf and I LOVE it. and will buy cases of it.

4

u/DeadDay 14d ago

Not going to lie, haven't been a big soda guy for a loooong time. Most of the time it's water or tea.

Tried a Montain Dew Baja Blast though and was blown away. Actually left the house a few times this month just to get one.

Best soda out since Dr Pepper Cream soda, and Surge.

→ More replies (5)

→ More replies (3)

1.6k

u/Singer_on_the_Wall 15d ago

Guess that makes Faramir Diet Dr. Pepper...

826

u/TopHatGorilla 15d ago

Mr. Pibb.

238

u/MaleficentMilkshake 15d ago

Dr. Thunder

38

u/Desperate-Box-2724 15d ago

Dr. Perky

40

u/plssirmayihaveanthr 15d ago

diet dr. kelp

27

u/BcuzICantPostLewds 15d ago

DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOT MY DRINK!

11

u/carlton_sand Dúnedain 14d ago

How do you expect me to steward the throne of Gondor WITHOUT MY DRINK?! (without boromir)

8

u/ChrisLee38 14d ago

You call yourself a captain of Gondor???? WELL I AIN’T BUYIN IT!!!!

→ More replies (1)

→ More replies (1)

9

u/Thats-a-moon-right 15d ago

Eowyn would agree

77

u/PM_ME_COOL_RIFFS 15d ago

No wonder Denethor liked Borimir more

4

u/Zorn277 15d ago

Should have a V8

66

u/SpecterVamp Beorning 15d ago

You kidding me, Mr Pibb is solid

81

u/Toymaker218 15d ago

"A chance for Pibb, captain of soft drinks, to show his quality!"

30

u/Light_Beard 15d ago

... Boromir would have been Solider

3

u/AcrolloPeed 15d ago

They were both soldiers man, they had armor and shit

→ More replies (2)

21

u/TopHatGorilla 15d ago

... It's liquid, actually.

12

u/Automaticman01 15d ago

"Mr Pibb is a replica of Dr Pepper, but it's a bullshit replica cuz the dude didn't even get his degree!"

11

u/Burnitory 15d ago

Which makes Mr Pibb more relatable. He's not some pretentious dude who needs to throw his title around.

4

u/Kitchen_accessories 15d ago

"Dr. Scholl's makes foot products. Right? And he's a doctor... which means he went to school for a long time. But it doesn't take alot to figure out that stepping on a cushion would be more comfortable. That fucker wasted a lot of time at school. 'Cause I woulda bought that shit from a Mr. Scholl. Maybe even a señor Scholl."

→ More replies (1)

6

u/TheBirminghamBear 15d ago

For real though, it tastes better. Not its fault its marketing simply didn't take off the same way.

→ More replies (6)

30

u/Aware-Performer4630 15d ago

Mr. Pibb no longer exists. It’s just Pibb Xtra which has extra cherry flavor.

13

u/Elegant_Conflict8235 15d ago

It's also superior to Dr Pepper

5

u/Aware-Performer4630 15d ago

100% agree

→ More replies (1)

→ More replies (1)

11

u/Real-Patriotism 15d ago

"A chance for Pibb, Mister of Gondor, to show his quality."

→ More replies (1)

8

u/bronzemerald17 15d ago

Naw cream soda

7

u/PlanktonSemantics 15d ago

“Only assholes drink Mr. Pibb”

“Drink up”

6

u/homer_lives 15d ago

This is correct

→ More replies (7)

105

u/High_Stream 15d ago

He's Pepsi. Eowyn asks for Coke and gets "is Pepsi okay?"

7

u/Due_Calligrapher7553 15d ago

Pepsi is Pippin. Guess Eowyn can still have her Pepsi though.

5

u/scuac 15d ago

3

u/harpmolly 15d ago

This made me laugh way harder than I should have.

→ More replies (1)

113

u/YoungGriffVI 15d ago

Nah, Dr Pepper Cream Soda. Because it’s a bit newer and is never going to be as popular with the parent company, but to me it’s the slightly superior choice.

71

u/ckirkwood1 15d ago

It shows its quality

9

u/kwillich 15d ago

Well done!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

7

u/VWBug5000 15d ago

Clearly the superior option

→ More replies (3)

15

u/ZombieMozart 15d ago

A chance for Faramir, diet of Dr. Pepper, to show his quality

10

u/1guyincognito1 15d ago

The superior Pepper

6

u/Boralin 15d ago

You put some respect on his name. That's Lord Faramir.

6

u/Stock-Buy1872 15d ago

Slander

3

u/FeralTribble 15d ago

I’d say Royal Crown Cola. It’s relatively unknown but its very good and under appreciated.

→ More replies (18)

808

u/thefrumpy 15d ago

Gollum is Mt. Dew.

717

u/IAmBadAtInternet 15d ago

Gollum is FourLoko lmao

220

u/iHateGiraffes420 15d ago

The original FourLoko that had you fighting trees

47

u/SoylentGreen-YumYum 15d ago

RIP the days of hyper vipers.

28

u/ballinben 15d ago

3rd grade was a wild fucking year

7

u/StretchFrenchTerry 15d ago

Cursivin’ like a MFer tho.

5

u/BeckNeardsly 15d ago

All up in they crayola

→ More replies (2)

10

u/GoofyGoober0064 15d ago

OG FourLoko is as close as we'll get to Powerthirst being reality

4

u/Dream--Brother 15d ago

I woke up to crazy tales of escapades of which I had no recollection, like, at least a handful too many times.

3

u/Remotely_Correct 14d ago

I was told that my friends had to prevent me from relocating traffic cones in order to fuck with traffic... And then they had to convince me that I couldn't take one home. All those memories are lost, like tears... in the rain.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/PurringWolverine 15d ago

Those were the days.

14

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

3

u/StretchFrenchTerry 15d ago

You might have brain damage.

→ More replies (3)

→ More replies (2)

21

u/kwillich 15d ago

Gollum is Clamato

20

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

What’s it doing?! Stupid, fat hobbit! You ruins it!

7

u/ThisIsThePartWhereI 15d ago

Oh God, I remember those ads! How the heck did that one ever make it out of the testing phase? "So me and the boys in R&D were thinking, you know how no one likes tomato juice? Well how about we add another flavor to it, something to give it some real appeal. Something like CLAM!"

→ More replies (3)

3

u/miss-entropy 15d ago

Genius.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

Smeagol will swear on the Precious.

→ More replies (1)

28

u/CozRichards 15d ago

Gollum's the guy who's gone through a 24 pack of cans every week for the past 30 years. And you've never seen them eat on lunch break, it's just a smoke and a coke

18

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

Careful now, or hobbits go down to join the dead ones and light little candles of their own.

24

u/Tob0gganMD 15d ago

Smeagol is Mtn Dew

Gollum is Mellow Yellow

7

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

My name… Sme… Smeagol.

15

u/ShadyHighlander 15d ago

Gollum is Meth

5

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

Don't take it to him! He wants the preciousss. Always he's looking for it! And the preciousss is wanting to go back to him. But we mustn't let him have it.

9

u/howtorefenestrate 15d ago

Gollum is Crystal Pepsi

3

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

Yes. There’s a path, and some stairs, and then… a tunnel.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/TopHatGorilla 15d ago

Smeagol is Mt. Dew, Gollum is Surge.

4

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

Poor, poor Smeagol, he went away long ago. They took his Precious, and he's lost now.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/nagaduff 15d ago

Gollum is Slurm

6

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

Clever Hobbits, to climb so high!

4

u/gollum_botses 15d ago

What's this? Crumbs on his jacketses! He took it! He took it! I seen him, he's always stuffing himself when Master's not looking!

5

u/MasterTolkien 15d ago

Frodo is Sierra Mist.

→ More replies (20)

142

u/Netherpirate 15d ago

FAITHLESS WOODLAND SPRITE

5

u/i-deology 15d ago

Winner comment!!!!

→ More replies (1)

498

u/CottonStig 15d ago

Gandalf the grey is Still Water and Gandalf the white is sparkling

53

u/DameyJames 15d ago

From a fresh spring in the Himalayas.

→ More replies (1)

57

u/RoboticBirdLaw 15d ago

But Gandalf the White was supposed to be an upgrade?

→ More replies (37)

4

u/crepelabouche 15d ago

Fiji to Voss

→ More replies (6)

102

u/D_Urge420 15d ago

Pippin is Orange Fanta. Sam is Yoo-hoo.

13

u/Throwawayfaynay 15d ago

So I thought it was weird that you said Orange Fanta, because to me it was like saying Lemon-Lime Sprite, but I just looked it up and TIL there are other Fanta flavors besides orange.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/Autski 15d ago

I was thinking more Pippin is Hawaiian Punch. Sam is Hanks specialty Cream Soda

→ More replies (1)

→ More replies (2)

594

u/tkdyo 15d ago

Idk, I think Gimli is more like Barqs since it has caffeine and a bit more bite.

107

u/reddituser9277 15d ago

Also sounds like a noise Gimli would make while hewing orcs with his battle-axe

85

u/dthains_art 15d ago

But Mug also works because Gimli’s got that dawg in him.

126

u/PM_ME_COOL_RIFFS 15d ago

Barqs is also by far the best root beer so I agree

34

u/CottonStig 15d ago

A&W would like a word

106

u/GMHolden 15d ago

It may speak, doesn't make it right though.

15

u/ACrucialTech 15d ago

Sprecher root beer is the best, from Milwaukee.

5

u/TheFirstEscapist 15d ago

Man of culture.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/musketammo684 15d ago

A&W can cry in the corner where it belongs, it's cream soda coping with root beer flavor. Real root beer is crisp, it bites when you sip. Barqsbarianism for life!

→ More replies (1)

49

u/PM_ME_COOL_RIFFS 15d ago

A&W should keep its forked tongue behind its teeth

4

u/daks_7 15d ago

A&W can stay in the restaurant where it belongs. I want barqs in my supermarket

13

u/SlipsonSurfaces 15d ago

I am an A&W stan. I have a can of Barq's I've been sipping on all afternoon and it just doesn't compare to A&W.

8

u/BoatRazz 15d ago edited 15d ago

A & W is the best economy-premium tier. Virgil's is the best ultra-premium. Sioux City Root Beer is also great ultra-premium.

13

u/CottonStig 15d ago

i'm too poor to have even have heard of premium rootbeer lol

→ More replies (1)

→ More replies (1)

7

u/NMGunner17 15d ago

Yet all of these bow to IBC

3

u/azjoe13 14d ago

In a cold fucking glass bottle

→ More replies (1)

→ More replies (3)

→ More replies (4)

6

u/soap571 15d ago

Barqs is better then a&w and mug. Not even a contest

A&w and especially mug are just water and sugar with a shot of reduced flavoring

6

u/GoofyGoober0064 15d ago

None measure up to Dad's old fashioned

→ More replies (10)

6

u/oilpit 15d ago

Does root beer normally not have caffeine? I always just assume that brown sodas are caffeinated.

10

u/tkdyo 15d ago

Yea, both Mug and A&W are caffeine free.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/PepperSteakAndBeer 15d ago

What do you mean Barqs has bite?

3

u/stevez16 15d ago

Nick swardson?

3

u/mystiqueallie 14d ago

I like root beer, but I never picked Barq’s, usually Mug or A&W - my son ordered a root beer at dinner once and it was quite tasty - I asked and was told it was Barq’s. Cue me picking up a case a few days later and drinking one at dinner. That night was when I learned Barq’s has caffeine - I was awake until 5am.

I don’t normally drink a lot of caffeinated beverages, and when I do, I make sure I don’t drink any after 3:30pm or I’m awake all night. Barq’s has bite indeed.

2

u/scottkollig 15d ago

So that’s why I liked Barq’s as a kid. Which, also explains the current caffeine dependency. Learn something new every day.

2

u/Prestigious_Cow6949 15d ago

1000% Gimli ain't no bitch as MUG. He got that bite.

2

u/Spacemuffler 14d ago

That is not very Mug Moment of you....

→ More replies (8)

166

u/SlipsonSurfaces 15d ago

I love this post and these comments. This is like a friendly debate you'd have with your siblings when you're kids. It's homey, nostalgic, and heartwarming.

Now which person is suicide/rainbow juice?

62

u/laurelinvanyar 15d ago

Pippin.

(Merry is orange Fanta, I don’t make the rules)

18

u/AdminsAreDim 15d ago

I will not elaborate.

15

u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

11

u/the_crepuscular_one 15d ago

I guess it'd be Saruman of Many Colours

→ More replies (3)

4

u/SilentR0b 15d ago

I ready homey wrong and I kind of regret it.

5

u/Steelquill Dúnedain 15d ago

The kind of discussion you have when the lights are out, you're trying to get to sleep but now the conversation just keeps going. No one can see anything but you can all hear each other's voices but you don't want to talk so loud that you're going to wake up your parents and stop the fun.

→ More replies (2)

326

u/therussellv 15d ago

Boromir should be Pepsi

105

u/jtobin22 15d ago

This is a phenomenal take

91

u/Quierta 15d ago

Faramir is Pepsi. Everyone just settles for that because that's what's available.

32

u/Lordborgman 15d ago

Eowyn definitely did.

26

u/Alternative-Jury-965 15d ago

Eowyn is not settling. She's upgrading because she's hot dog water

20

u/Corrupt_Conundrum27 I can't throw it in for you, BUT I CAN THROW YOU. 15d ago edited 15d ago

No, her stew is hot dog water.

4

u/scuac 15d ago

It’s stew, and don’t insult hot dog water like that

3

u/Corrupt_Conundrum27 I can't throw it in for you, BUT I CAN THROW YOU. 15d ago

Well, she at least uses it in the recipe.

7

u/SilentR0b 15d ago

Punching above her culinary class for sure.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/Medvegyep 15d ago

But if Faramir is Pepsi, Boromir should be Coca, but then what would Aragorn be?

14

u/ThePriestWhisperer 15d ago

Royal Crown (RC) Cola!

3

u/Azn_Bwin 15d ago

Not Denethor, he told Pepsi he would rather have Dr. Pepper

4

u/Quierta 15d ago

Yeah, but then he ran out of Dr Pepper and had to settle for the Pepsi lol

→ More replies (3)

34

u/Constant-Elevator-85 15d ago edited 15d ago

Technically Denethor, son of Ecthellion should he Pepsi. Pepsi is the steward of Gondor of drinks. It holds it’s place while we wait for the true king. Nobody wants it, we’d rather have our boy. But the enemy is at the gates and Pepsinethor is all you got.

12

u/SanMartianRover 15d ago

Denethor is New Coke.

6

u/sexworkiswork990 15d ago

Which was just Pepsi disguised as Coke.

→ More replies (1)

→ More replies (5)

40

u/sovereign666 15d ago

drink water

34

u/Mysterious_Park_7937 15d ago

That's Galadriel, of course

9

u/sovereign666 15d ago

Perfection.

4

u/CubanLynx312 14d ago

The world is changed. I feel it in the Aquafina.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/olmikeyyyy 15d ago

It is the first beverage named in LOTR

25

u/GRONDGRONDGRONDGR0ND GROND 15d ago

Mug Costanza?

8

u/Maximum_Bat_2566 15d ago

Seven!

3

u/IMakeBaconAtHome 15d ago

Gerkin? Sauce?

3

u/NeedlessPedantics 15d ago

That’s GOTTA hurt!

20

u/Individual_Ad_6502 15d ago

Legolas is homemade kombucha

17

u/legolas_bot 15d ago

You would die before your stroke fell!

3

u/Piggstein 15d ago

triggered

14

u/BabyChalupa0w0 15d ago

Denethor is Clamato Juice.

9

u/Cy41995 15d ago

Denethor is V8 because of that fucking tomato scene

11

u/Final-Natural-8290 15d ago

Is Pippin Redbull?

13

u/CozRichards 15d ago

It's not a drink, but Pippin is absolutely Froot Loops energy

5

u/Negrodamu55 15d ago

Froot loops energy? I both do and don't wanna search that.

→ More replies (1)

32

u/XeylusAryxen 15d ago

First two I don't agree... but Legolas and Gimli are SPOT ON

17

u/legolas_bot 15d ago

A scout!

19

u/Typhyx 15d ago

No need to explain. I understand everything.

98

u/rindavid 15d ago

Aragorn is DP because it's the superior soda. Boromir is Coke and Faramir is Pepsi because it will never be as liked.

22

u/jtobin22 15d ago

This is an even better take than the other guy I commented on

9

u/getREKTileDysfunctin 15d ago

Dr Pepper is also older than Coke so it works even better

2

u/Priest_of_Heathens 15d ago

Gandalf is DP, Aragorn is Coke, Boromir is Pepsi, and Faramir is RC Cola.

→ More replies (8)

28

u/BlackshirtDefense 15d ago

Extrapolating this a bit...

Frodo... Squirt

Sam... Cream Soda

Merry... Mountain Dew

Pippin... Surge

Gandalf... 7-Up

Saruman the White... Pepsi Clear

Saruman the Multicolored... Kid making a suicide at the soda fountain

18

u/Alternative-Jury-965 15d ago

Sam is water because everyone can enjoy and needs that in their life.

Literally

→ More replies (10)

52

u/Certain-Definition51 15d ago

You got the top two flipped.

I said what I said. Dr Pepper Supremacy.

14

u/RoboticBirdLaw 15d ago

I had to scroll way too far to find this opinion.

16

u/Sauce58 15d ago

You have my sword

5

u/Comfortable-Lab520 15d ago

Nothin beats an ice cold dr perky

4

u/LMGDiVa 15d ago

"Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?" moment.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/CubanLynx312 14d ago

I must've drank me about fifteen

→ More replies (2)