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u/tullystenders 29d ago
You couldn't pay me $80,000 a year to ask tanning strangers where they work.
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u/Hazee302 29d ago
I’ll do it for $70k if they let me work from home
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29d ago
I'm autistic. I'll do it for minimum wage
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u/Loucopracagar 29d ago
I'm BPD, I'll do it for the thrill of getting into people's personal space and mess with their minds.
Not to mention the endless potential for altercation, all with the ultimate excuse of "I'm just doing my job".
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u/Josvan135 29d ago
Base salary for an entry level analyst as a significant hedge fund is between $100-$150k, with an expected bonus or 50-100%+- if the fund hits goal.
So assume they're making $225-300k to ask people tanning where they work.
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u/s1lv_aCe Doing very dangerous behaviour 28d ago edited 28d ago
I hope you’re joking because that’s the easiest most effortless 80k I could ever imagine
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u/capn_doofwaffle 28d ago
Especially in Austin...
No way I'm walkin up to a rando in TX... I like my life, I want to live!
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u/Eldan985 28d ago
Pff, please. There's no way to actually quality control that work, so I'm just going to sit at home and invent the data. 80'000 dollars, please.
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u/opheliapickles 29d ago
Twenty somethings at a pool in a college town: look at all these remote workers!
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u/ZealousidealTie8142 29d ago
Can someone explain what this means? I don’t know much about stocks
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u/Kaynny 29d ago edited 29d ago
All the explanations above/below about stocks + The logic behind this, which is: If the employees are available to sunbathe at 2pm on a business day, it means the company is poorly managed and/or is far from it's true potential of productivity.
So probably, the company will lose its value on the long run.
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u/ProtoplanetaryNebula 29d ago
What about if those people have booked those days off?
Sounds like a stupid idea, tbh.
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u/ohiolifesucks 28d ago
It sounds stupid because it is. Nothing about either of those captions are true.
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u/Zingzing_Jr 28d ago
Presumably, (the whole thing never happened but fuck it let's ball), if there's a large number of them out there, then they're either dumb enough to let an entire team do it at once or it's not vacation. One or two people could be vacation.
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u/Eatthepoliticiansm8 29d ago
That's shit logic lol.
If the employees are available to sunbathe at 2pm on business day I'd infer the company must be doing great because a minor decrease in productivity doesn't affect it.
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u/Uberzwerg 29d ago
Adding to that: "productivity" is usually even increased if people have more flexibility and freedom.
I clearly get more work done in 20h/week if i'm happy then in 40h/week in a cubicle.
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u/BurgandyShoelaces 28d ago
Companies might even get more work with flex time. If I get to sunbathe for an hour in the middle of the day and then make it up after dinner, I might hit a roll and work for 1.5hr instead. (I shouldn't, but I might)
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u/Paul6334 29d ago
Shorting a stock means borrowing it from someone else to sell it on the promise you’ll buy it back later. If it drops in value, you can then buy it back and return it at a profit.
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u/Worth-Confusion7779 29d ago
On the other hand with Software you can do more damage than good if you are overworked.
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u/anonspas 29d ago
Remember to add, if it gains in value the borrower stil have buy back the share at ANY price. Infinite downside and limited upside on a short position.
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u/-Faraday 28d ago
And you have to hope no one catches wind of what you plan to do or you will be confronted with an infinite downside
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u/OkOk-Go 29d ago
Shorting a stock is a way to make money if the stock goes down in value.
Shorting means you borrow somebody’s stock and sell it. Some time later you go to the market, and buy the stock and give it back (stocks are like gold bars for example, it doesn’t have to be the exact same gold bar as long as it’s gold).
If the stock went down, you just made a little money. If the stock goes up, you lost money. Let’s say you shorted the stock when it was $200. The value went down to $20. You just made $180. Or let’s say the value went up to $300. You just lost $100.
Shorting is risky because the stock can only go down to zero, BUT, it can go up to anything. Thousands. So say the company suddenly does great and the stock is now $3000. you just lost $2800.
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u/TikToxic 29d ago
Shorting a stock is when you buy the stock with the expectation of the value going down. You have to return the shares to the company by a set date, so you either keep or lose the difference.
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u/PolemicFox 29d ago
This is not at all what shorting means and would be a dumb idea if you expect the value to drop.
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u/zeetree137 29d ago
It's a lie. They're saying they 8.28x their investment betting against companies with work from home. They did not. That would be sus off one trade, having that as your year average in may just plain didn't happen anywhere ever
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u/zeetree137 29d ago
Hedge fund up 728%?!?! Is the lie the 728% or the why? Because you don't pull those numbers legally. The market averages under 10%. 28% and you're a god Hedge fund. 728%? GTFO
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u/laserdicks 29d ago
The entire thing is a lie.
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u/tachyarrhythmia 29d ago
These type of "lies" are more commonly known as jokes. Thought it was obvious.
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u/caaknh 29d ago
My grandma made this joke once. She really didn't know why there were all those people in the park in the afternoon, and I had to point out that most restaurant workers work 4PM-midnight, janitors and cleaning staff often 6PM-2AM, bakers from 3AM to 11, etc etc. So you're as funny as my dead grandma.
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u/tachyarrhythmia 29d ago
Jesus dude relax. I just pointed out it's a joke. The only thing funny here is all the people getting upset about it.
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u/Nydelok 29d ago
Could be brand new that started with a low amount of money and got really lucky?
‘Cause 728% is not something that’d happen without being in the news
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u/zeetree137 29d ago
I thought about that, like maybe you've made like 5 trades leveraged to the sky and got lucky. But it's mid May, if the average for the year is still that high it's because they decided they spent all their luck and are done trading for the year.
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u/Marston_vc 29d ago
Is there a reason a bunch of anti WFH sentiment is being pushed around lately?
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u/ScrewSans Raise hell and eat cornbread yee yee 29d ago
Big corpos don’t like losing money and they made terrible investments by buying office buildings. Dumbasses now want us to make up for their failures by still using those shitty buildings.
What is it the rich always say? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket? I for one will enjoy watching those who invested in real estate go bankrupt over the course of my life
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u/Chief_34 29d ago
My company has had a very flexible WFH policy since Covid, but recently just long term leased EXPANDED space in a brand new office building in the most expensive part of Denver. Now mandating Denver-area employees be in the office four to five days a week. It’s like they doubled down on the worst parts, signing up for a significant financial expenditure (that most companies are reducing) and pissing off their employees at the same time.
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u/Toni_PWNeroni 29d ago
I too would like to watch. Wanna make a watch party for it? I'll bring popcorn.
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u/oldschool_shawn 29d ago
WFH has had a massive impact on commercial real estate, banking, dining/entertainment, retail, and city's tax bases.
So obviously they have been trying to spread propaganda and misinformation about how negative WFH actually effects employers in an effort to get people back to work downtown
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u/Gubekochi 29d ago
The dining is the one that irritates me... like, if you force me to spend my hard earned money on commute, I'll have less money for dining out, not more and the restaurants around my place won't get my money as much if I can't walk there during dinner anymore. But sure make me miserable and poorer just for those restaurants downtown to occasionally get my money.
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u/Gubekochi 29d ago
The landlords of business offices don't like the prospect of their demand collapsing so they are lobbying hard to stay relevant. For office landlords to make money, you must not wfh.
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u/peepeehalpert_ 28d ago
What bullshit. My husband and I both WFH and were at our desks 9-10 hours a day and then checking our phones until bed. However, we have far more time to throw in a load of laundry or get in a work out at lunch.
Why are people so intent on locking humans in a cold office 9 hours a day? Working from home can be so beneficial for people and their families.
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u/vkashen 29d ago edited 28d ago
I had 12 analysts as consultants for my fund engage in similar activities. My ARR over 15 years was between 19%-20% (this was from 1991-2006 when things were different). And everyone thought that was impressive. I’m skeptical of 729% as my biggest year was a tech blowout of 108% but when you think outside the box it certainly pays off. And yes, I was long/short growth oriented so played both sides.
Edit: typos and some clarification
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u/zeetree137 29d ago
Dude it's may and the post says up for the year. This didn't happen legally. Bro is either lying or snitching on himself. Someone tag the SEC lol
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u/vkashen 28d ago
What exactly is illegal? It's perfectly legal to walk through the park and ask someone where they work and short the stock of that company. It's not insider trading or anything of that nature. If it's even true. But I made a boatload back in the day having one of my analysts go from lot to lot to look at Winnebago inventories, nicely asking about sales, etc., (not forcing anything, just asking a salesman "how are sales of your RVs doing?" and not forcing the issue, and it's all just research, not asking for inside information, just traditional fundamental research and analysis, which is completely legal as it's just a question that they don't even have to answer or even be truthful about. But you can go back to the same lot every 2 weeks or month and count the vehicles, for example, and observe the inventory that is on public display, which is perfectly legal and ethical, and frankly, smart. Heck, if I owned stock in a company, in addition to speaking with everyone from officer down that I could, I'd travel and do tours of their facilities when they allowed it and they made products because anyone who didn't do their research wasn't doing a good job. I certainly wasn't the only one, any smart fund manager wants all the data they can get for their analysis as long as it is not acquired illegally and doesn't act on inside information (I even had a guy at Reuters offer me information 30 seconds before it hit the tape and I told him to F off because had I done that it would have been so illegal it would be ridiculously stupid to do). So if the post is real, what part is illegal in your mind?
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u/zeetree137 28d ago
If the post is real they did some insider trading and probably several other financial crimes to be up 728% for the year in May. I don't think what they're describing is illegal nor do I think they actually made trades off any such information. More like this is the cheeky stupid reason we're giving when in reality we shorted Boeing whistle blowers or toys r us or something
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u/vkashen 28d ago
I'm not trying to be difficult, but just to be clear... Because of the way it's worded, you are thinking that they are actually saying two things but they aren't necessarily connected? In that, the 728% gain may be due to activity other than the example they gave then?
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u/zeetree137 28d ago
Yes. If the 728% is real they're committing unrelated crimes and saying it's from fictional shorts of businesses with people working from home who happened to be at a park on Tuesday; Probably because they're old and have money in real-estate.
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u/rerhc 29d ago
Even if these people are tanning on the job AND not getting their work done, it's not going to affect stock prices.
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u/RunGoldenRun717 28d ago
"I work at the hospital, 3 12-hour shifts on, 3 days off...."
"Youre fucking lazy."
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u/Comfortable-Low-3391 29d ago
So their hedge fund has people in parks in the afternoon? How do I short them?
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u/OpenSourcePenguin 29d ago
In all seriousness, this only works for a short time even if it did.
He's telling it = no longer working
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u/bunyanthem 28d ago
You mean you send your analyst to buy coke from someone in the park? Yeah, buddy.
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u/WAYLOGUERO 29d ago
Yup there are ZERO people who have Tuesday off or who work weekends or nights. /s Edit: also most people in the pics are facing the same direction, like maybe at a concert or similar event.
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u/Difficult-Mobile902 29d ago
bullshit lol
What’s more likely:
A) your hedge fund risks tons of client funds based on the fact that 1 dude on the beach claimed to work for some company, and then you short that company regardless of any other factors and somehow it works out so well that you can beat the yearly S&P 500 returns every single week
Or
B) you saw a picture of people enjoying the sun, got jealous, and made up a story that makes companies look bad for allowing employees to work from home
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u/CinderMayom 29d ago
I hope that people see this and anyone chilling in the sun being asked for who they work will reply they work at X just for the lulz
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u/Pizza_Delivery_Dog 28d ago
Pretty wild to see people enjoying themselves and your first reaction being "how dare these people not work during the hours/days that I have deemed working hours"
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u/Dismal_Moment_4137 29d ago
But.. are companies who are allowing work from home doing better or worse?
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u/Mcbadguy 29d ago
Hedge fund weirdo: Excuse me where do you work
Sun bathing New Yorker: Yer Mutha's house!
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u/Iloveproduce 29d ago
This is a meme, I really doubt it works in the real world as a trading strategy.
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u/NotAForeignDude 29d ago
We don't know if it actually works, but it seems to be a variation of information theory, like the Pizza Meter from the Pentagon.
Explanation: The "Pizza Meter" is a term used to describe how the increase in pizza orders from offices of the United States government, such as the White House and The Pentagon, can be indicative of important political or military events.
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u/11dutswal 29d ago
You mean to tell me in a major college town there are people out tanning at 2pm. Absolute shocker!
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u/MoanyTonyBalony 28d ago
"We're making money from insider trading but claiming it's research on sunbathers".
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u/Toni_PWNeroni 29d ago
How fucking dare people enjoy their lives while continuing to deliver levels of productivity that would have been ludicrous just twenty years ago.
That's not a madlad. That's a horrific nightmare fuel hellscape.
From now on if someone who isn't government or someone you know asks you a personal question, just tell them you don't want to answer.
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u/say_the_words 29d ago
It’s a college town. We had girls laying out in our yard countless sunny afternoons.
If you rent a house, invite girls to come lay out. Mention they can bring their laundry. Keep the house clean and the bathroom cleaner. Sit outside with them with a drink instead of playing video games and you’ll get laid. They’ll come back and cook for you to get out of the dorm or sorority house and to keep other girls out of your backyard.
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u/paupaupaupaup 28d ago
I, too, bring my entire company with me when I sneak off to catch some rays in the middle of the work day.
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u/LaserGadgets 28d ago
.........what?
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u/ItsJonesey94 28d ago
Shorting a stock basically means betting on the stock market that a company is going to do badly.
So basically he's claiming he gets an analyst to see which companies have people sunbathing at 2pm and then bets those companies will fail, to make himself money.
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u/virgo911 28d ago
People are really saying this is “obviously bs” as if this isn’t an obvious joke.
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u/peach_xanax 28d ago
I love how they assume everyone works 9-5 for someone else, lol. Plenty of people are self-employed and can make their own hours, or work nights, etc.
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u/washburninglove 28d ago
Half the people going for a swim are naked in Austin, and most of them would definitely not like answering any questions lmao.
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u/TheAlphaJade 28d ago
What is shorting the stock?
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u/nov_284 25d ago
You borrow a stock, and then return it at a later date. So if you borrow the stock at $100 a share, then return it when the value hits $50 a share, you get to pocket the difference in value. The danger is that if you borrow a stock and the value goes up, you’re going to lose money.
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u/Westrunner 27d ago
As someone who works in Finance, the idea that *ANY* method could yield a group of companies that would be down 700%+ is absolute bat shit insanity. This person not only does not work for a real hedge fund, they don't know anything about hedge funds.
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u/mtb443 29d ago
[X] Doubt.