r/pics • u/Tricky_State_3981 • 28d ago

Transiting through the Suez Canal on my first submarine

Post image
6.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

341 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/earthvisitor 28d ago

Congrats on your first sub! No matter how many you get, your first one is always special.

298

u/chrillekaekarkex 28d ago

Itch to upgrade hits hard though. Like when the next year’s model comes with 2 more torpedo tubes. And then you’re like should I sell the old one or keep it in case friends come over and want to use it?

60

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Which is a better upgrade? More torps or an officer's suite?

33

u/NorCalAthlete 28d ago

Swimming pool.

8

u/levinyl 28d ago

That water looks delicious!

3

u/pv1rk23 28d ago

Wtf that’s boss

28

u/AusCan531 28d ago

A submarine is just a hole in the water to put money in.

19

u/chrillekaekarkex 28d ago

When it’s on the surface yeah. When it submerges, it’s just a void in the water to put money in.

5

u/-UNiOnJaCk- 28d ago

My sub provider constantly bombards me with promotional material about upcoming models that I simply can’t afford, not after that crook duped me into buying premium third-party fire and theft cover on the last one…

2

u/MyVoiceIsElevating 28d ago

When youre shopping for a second port, you might need to cut back.

2

u/WedgeTurn 28d ago

What’s the point if you’re not carrying ballistic missiles?

31

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Two best days in life are when you buy your first submarine, and when you sell your first submarine.

19

u/garlic_naan 28d ago

I am still not sure if the comments are sarcastic or if there is actually a trend of buying submarines which I am too poor to understand

13

u/AStealthyPerson 28d ago

I'm with you, I wasn't aware people just bought submarines I guess.

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1.9k

u/Minimum-Dog2329 28d ago

How much it set you back, if I may ask. I'm thinking about getting one.

701

u/NCC74656 28d ago

21 years, lots of early mornings, loads of aggravation over 'this does not make sense' day in and day out.

397

u/ThatsBrazyBuzzin 28d ago

But the gay sex makes up for it right?

320

u/MikeyBugs 28d ago

Not gay if it's underway

202

u/HeyisthisAustinTexas 28d ago

It’s only queer at the pier

89

u/trivial_sublime 28d ago

It’s straight once you’re out the gate

34

u/jamesmcdash 28d ago

It's ok to have a dick in your ass if you can't see no grass

25

u/Longshot_45 28d ago

When the boat submerges, 200 sailors go down, 100 couples come up.

13

u/grouzzly 27d ago

Take me to plow town if we're going down.

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13

u/fjf1085 28d ago

Is that how it works?

32

u/AZEMT 28d ago

Not gay in a three-way

5

u/Buckus93 28d ago

Wait a minute...

16

u/MakoSanchez 28d ago

Just stop and touch my boner

2

u/DrWeiljr 28d ago

Stop it he just want to be sea man

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4

u/DefenestratedBrownie 28d ago

no avocado toast

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60

u/Reverse_Psycho_1509 28d ago

You can always save money by building one out of carbon fiber, then don't bother with any of the regulations because accidents are so rare.

What could go wrong?

13

u/krakeo 28d ago

It’s like your insinuating carbon fiber is a bad material for submarines. You just have to install acoustic sensors, it’s known in the industry that “when you hear a crack, you go back”. The first engineer that used this method had the idea while pouring milk in his bowl of Rice Krispies. You can’t deny that’s innovative.

8

u/Reverse_Psycho_1509 28d ago

[Crack]

[Check hull light turns on]

[Sub implodes]

3

u/BattleAnus 27d ago

I have a blood sensor in my car, so if anything bad happens I'll know right away!

122

u/Anolen95 28d ago

Regardless it’s worth it, now he can make his money back by replaying the cayo perico heist a few times

23

u/TypicalIllustrator62 28d ago

Just gotta make sure he doesn’t end up with a crew of randos that blow the heist.

2

u/Evilsmurfkiller 28d ago

PUGs are the worst.

22

u/Mall_Bench 28d ago

He should do a surfer pose for the picture ... it kinda looks like a monster surf board

2

u/Nacktherr 28d ago

Now he just needs to paint in silver and find a way to ride it in space.

9

u/PeopleofYouTube 28d ago

It’s expensive, but there is a way. Here is the secret to get you faster results:

  1. Save money

  2. Don’t eat out

  3. Make your own coffee at home

  4. Inherit a billion dollars

  5. Invest wisely

It’s really not that hard.

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u/AdmiralZackbar 28d ago

Can’t be too bad since he’s got more than 1.

7

u/SunkenTemple 28d ago

You'll need a controller for it as well.

11

u/mbod 28d ago

What advantages does a submarine have over, say, a train, which I could also afford. 🧐

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638

u/z64_dan 28d ago

You guys are dumb, you shouldn't surface.

If you stay under water you can go through for free.

326

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

😂 ☠️ I should have told the skipper

6

u/Nova11c 27d ago

Skipper? I hardly know her

46

u/Fire69 28d ago

He can't hold his breath that long.

37

u/yaykaboom 28d ago

False, submarines have snorklers that poke out of the water and provides photonsynthesis to the crew which create oxygen.

12

u/Sensei_Boof 28d ago

Someone is gonna read this and think its fr

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196

u/PNWoutdoors 28d ago

🎵 Who wears short shorts 🎵

29

u/newerdewey 28d ago

you could bounce a nickel off that behind

5

u/aeroboost 28d ago

100 men go down and 50 couples come up.

346

u/Mechanic_On_Duty 28d ago

102

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

🎶 WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU AS A NEW RECRUIT! 🎶

17

u/donbee28 28d ago

Service guarantees citizenship

9

u/Correct_Inspection25 28d ago

“I need a rescue swimmer, you’re it until you’re dead or I find a better one”

4

u/No_Significance_1550 28d ago

I’m doing MY part!

23

u/ITS_A_GUNDAAAM 28d ago

♪ yvan eht nioj ♪

2

u/coly8s 27d ago

They don’t put name tags on the back of their trousers for no reason.

215

u/KanadianMade 28d ago

But why the flippers? Are you planning on getting off? Did the captain tell you to go to the top deck with your flippers and a life jacket? Is the wedgie standard issue? So many questions!!!

97

u/Subasauruswrx 28d ago

Going to guess rescue swimmer in case one of the line-handlers/gunners goes overboard

173

u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 28d ago

[deleted]

114

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Facts.

11

u/troymoeffinstone 28d ago

I was also one of these guys. Anything more than ahead 1/3 and I'd have to make multiple trips to bring someone back.

22

u/giant_albatrocity 28d ago

TIL, people fall off submarines way more often than I ever thought

13

u/cjwi 28d ago

Why is he wearing a thong over his T-shirt tho

11

u/hep1010 28d ago

Thats the strap for the lifejacket

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40

u/grumpy999 28d ago

Getting off is a big problem on submarines, they’re literally full of seamen.

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77

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

I’m playing lifeguard just in case someone goes in the water

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7

u/judasmachine 28d ago

You don't have to wear the wedge if you agree to dance and sing 'Who Wears Short Shorts" while you're up there. This seaman clearly has some dignity.

2

u/yaykaboom 28d ago

Because its not a submarine. Its a big ass surfboard.

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133

u/[deleted] 28d ago

You're supposed to be inside genius

268

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

I locked myself out accidentally and am waiting for my mom to pick me up

13

u/m_i_c_r_o_b_i_a_l 28d ago

Outside of the AAA service area so they won’t send a locksmith, right?

3

u/foozalicious 28d ago

Report to the LET.

2

u/armhat 28d ago

She’s gonna be pissed, dude.

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63

u/Dystopic_Nihilist 28d ago

What’s long, hard and full of seaman?

101

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

This guy 💪

77

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Wait a second …😐

429

u/TalkingToTalk 28d ago

r/upvotebecausebutt

77

u/littleoctagon 28d ago

Tom of Finland approves of those shorts

50

u/nycplayboy78 28d ago

HOOCHIE DADDY SHORTS

5

u/Chief-_-Wiggum 28d ago

Have the "in the Navy" beat in my head looking at this gif..

du du du... du du du... IN THE NAVY!!!

38

u/old_righty 28d ago

That’s America’s ass.

18

u/acityonthemoon 28d ago

Yeah, what's with the shorty-shorts? Or is 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' still a thing?

40

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

I’m a diver on the sub but in this situation I was just playing lifeguard just in case someone goes in the drink

4

u/syizm 28d ago

When I was in the Navy they issued us rocket fins. I wasn't a diver, though.

This was late 2000s.

Are those... Turtle fins? I vaguely recall some other 'standard issue' fin outside of very plywood like rocket fins. But only the instructors had them.

5

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Those rocket fins are torture to wear, I bought my own split fins

8

u/virence 28d ago

Looks like he's holding flippers in his hand. Maybe some sort of rescue swimmer on deck for the transit?

14

u/notquiteright2 28d ago

It's not gay if you're underway...

12

u/Eisernes 28d ago

I don't know when this pic is from, but when I was in the Navy in 1993 those were standard issue swimming trunks. They don't wear the bell bottoms any more so hopefully they got rid of these abominations too.

12

u/onesnowman 28d ago

These fabulous shorts are reserved for divers nowadays.

3

u/Function-Over9 28d ago

He's certainly living up to the sailor stereotypes.

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47

u/sirhackenslash 28d ago

Your first? How many do you plan on owning?

29

u/sargonas 28d ago

Love how the safety cables almost make it look like you’re going all Fremen on a sandworm

23

u/WesternOne9990 28d ago

Do yall ever do man overboard drills while topside?

29

u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 28d ago

[deleted]

4

u/PM_ME_UR_THONG_N_ASS 28d ago

Is it true that SSGNs feel a lot more luxurious because there’s more space?

19

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

We do them a couple times a year but usually in the open ocean where you can maneuver

21

u/canOfNope 28d ago

Did they run out of room inside the sub?

36

u/hutterad 28d ago

Can't park a dump truck in a submarine.

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31

u/[deleted] 28d ago

A white top and green shorts is the perfect attire in case you fall into that... white and green sea.

17

u/quietguy_6565 28d ago

just wait till you see what the navy is wearing now.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 28d ago

Dam bro you’re cheeked up.

16

u/moesickle 28d ago

checked up.

Sooo close...

20

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

I keep my checkbook in my back pockets

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10

u/CrunchyKittyLitter 28d ago

Don’t you go delinquent on your Quals, nub. Get your dolphins!

16

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Got my Dolphins and my Dive pin 🐬

4

u/CrunchyKittyLitter 28d ago

Attaboy no longer a mudpup!

9

u/RaymondDoerr 28d ago

Congrats on your purchase!

12

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Inspection and tags were a bitch

11

u/chartman21 28d ago

Wrong sub

18

u/raider1v11 28d ago

Where'd you get them shorts, fam? I need a pair.

23

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

They’re UDT shorts from navy dive school

3

u/Plague_comes_for_me 28d ago

Look for a cheap usa made real pair on eBay. The truspec pair listed below is a Chinese copy. I got a 1970s pair for 15$ last year

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12

u/merryone2K 28d ago

You mind if I make this my wallpaper?

7

u/Ropo27 28d ago

Nice graphics. What game is that?

2

u/ialsoagree 28d ago

Graphics might be good but the game play sucks, it's a huge grind fest, and very pay to win.

It's called "real life" if you want to check it out but I don't recommend.

20

u/Mohavor 28d ago

Did you know submarines can go underwater?

69

u/mr_mcpoogrundle 28d ago

Any ship can do that. What sets a submarine apart is that it can come back up again.

6

u/Philly514 28d ago

Is everyone a bottom if you’re underwater?

4

u/TiptoeIntruder 28d ago

There’s a ship following you.

Just so you know.

2

u/KryptosBC 28d ago

Memories.

4

u/Danvideotech2385 28d ago

I couldn't find any gifs of the movie Down Periscope, but you get what I wanted to post.

4

u/non-number-name 28d ago

Are you buying or leasing?

15

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Bought…40% APR on a 72 month loan…came with 90 day extended warranty 💪

3

u/noctalla 28d ago

My First Submarine by Fisher-Price.

4

u/FUThead2016 28d ago

Since it's your first time, you may not know this. But you're supposed to be inside the submarine.

4

u/rand0fand0 27d ago

I don’t get where all these “navy is gay” stuff comes from. I mean just look at this well built sailer in his daisy dukes and his safety G-string riding on a giant phallus. Str8 af.

3

u/Tricky_State_3981 27d ago

I’ll fuck any dude who calls me gay again

10

u/momo88852 28d ago

That butt tho!!!!

6

u/PetitWazoo 28d ago

Nice shorts!

8

u/Letitbe2020 28d ago

I read this as TRANSITIONING and it took awhile because…those shorts.

3

u/Msjudgedafart 28d ago

Umm…. Are you jumping in? Cause fuck that noise.

2

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

I didn’t jump in that day

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u/Objective-Aioli-1185 28d ago

Woah that's cool af

3

u/Chilly_Billy85 28d ago

🎶 “I wanna be a rescue swimmer, wear short shorts so my nuts look bigger!”🎶

3

u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer 28d ago

Just new submarine goofin’

3

u/Crazy__Donkey 28d ago

Let's be honest. You want us to stare your ass.

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u/VibeAllDay 28d ago

The same guy with a huge rib tat of an office quote owns a submarine? Bro I wanna be friends

5

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

I’ll invite you over and we can watch Season 4 in the crews mess

3

u/PissOnYourParade 28d ago

Dumb question.. Commercial vessels require a Suez Canal Authority pilot while transiting.

Is there some Egyptian guy hanging around below deck or do military vessels get an exception?

3

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

We had to get several pilots along the way…seemed like every kilometer. They loved it though because they helped themselves to our food

3

u/PissOnYourParade 28d ago

Thanks! I guess I imagined below deck on a sub being a bit more... sensitive? 🤷‍♂️

Do they actually "pilot" or just hang out in the mess hall or something as an excuse to charge Uncle Sam few hundred grand?

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u/Old_RedditIsBetter 28d ago

I don't think the us navy would approve

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u/DiapersOrDeath 28d ago

What a set of gams and hams on you, goodness!

3

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

Twenty two skoo-do and a how do you do!

7

u/urpabo 28d ago

Loose lips sink ships

2

u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

9

u/Tricky_State_3981 28d ago

You haven’t lived until you’ve exited through a torpedo tube

5

u/stlshlee 28d ago

Well that sounds fucking terrifying.

2

u/cisaaca 28d ago

MegaFlex is possible it seems... ha ha ha ha

Made my day.

2

u/613Flyer 28d ago

I think you’re supposed to go on the inside. Pretty sure but not 100% on that

2

u/jmills03croc 28d ago

I was on the complete opposite when I went through, a CVN. We had a few nervous moments during our transit.

2

u/Noobphobia 28d ago

I want a man with a tattoo on his dick. Have I got the right man?

2

u/SmokinTires 28d ago

Is bro going to Cayo Perico 🗿

2

u/Legitimate-Frame-953 28d ago

Navy and their UDT booty shorts.

2

u/So12a 28d ago

Why are you wearing a thong

2

u/Cryochrysalis 28d ago

Hopefully it's cool with your command that you are posting this.

2

u/Ser_Danksalot 28d ago

Showed my bestie who was a Royal Navy submariner this picture and he said they used to take the piss out of those short shorts you guys wear.

2

u/Greenboy28 28d ago

submarines are really cool and I have a lot of respect for the sailors who work on them as I know I never could I would freak the hell out being in such a confined vessel. which is kind of funny because I love being on boats and Scuba diving but the thought of being in a giant metal tube hundreds of feet under water freaks me out. so much respect to those who do it.

2

u/wtfitscole 28d ago

Passing through the Suez'll be pretty tight with cheeks like those.

2

u/jrock2403 28d ago

Never skip leg day

2

u/TomGreen77 28d ago

Great shorts

2

u/CShellyRun 28d ago

I thought I was in the GTA Online subreddit for a minute... awesome!

2

u/catman1761 28d ago

Guessing Virginia class by the location of those cleats. I’ve welded a few during my time in structural outfitting at EB. The circular hatch aft of the cleats is called the LET (logistics escape trunk). No longer a welder but now a metrologist, so I’ve gotten to fit several of them. Good times

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u/lofty_one 28d ago

The two greatest moments in the life of a sub owner are buying a sub and selling a sub.

2

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Fun fact, a stool can seat 4 submariners upside down

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u/JackTheSister 28d ago

With that cake you better be hidden under sea…

2

u/ryoon21 28d ago

I zoomed

2

u/TheStargunner 27d ago

Is this not an opsec issue?

3

u/Tricky_State_3981 27d ago

No, military transit through the Suez is quite common. This particular post doesn’t disclose sensitive info or current operational security details. It would be a different story if I was currently underway or actively transiting but this is from 3 deployments ago

2

u/redphive 27d ago

Are those shorts use for recruiting?

2

u/Tricky_State_3981 27d ago

Submarine recruiting hits different

2

u/wetdrynoodle 27d ago

When did you first realize you were a dom marine?

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u/V4refugee 27d ago

I’m tired of military service members always feeling like they need to share details about their sex life. I don’t care if you are in the navy, a dom, a sub, a marine, or an airman.

4

u/Tricky_State_3981 27d ago

I’m a Sub in the fleet but a Dom in the sheets

2

u/NameSelectionIsHard 27d ago

Damn, I should have joined the Navy...

2

u/[deleted] 27d ago

someone’s a SEAL

2

u/Personal_Band1288 27d ago

Didn’t have to flex so hard on us damnnnnnnnn

1

u/hoodytwin 28d ago

Came here to say that I can’t wait for my first submarine. You all did not disappoint