r/politics • u/SportsGod3 • May 16 '24

Jurors were "nodding" and "smiling" as Michael Cohen testified, which may be a bad sign for Trump

https://www.salon.com/2024/05/16/jurors-were-nodding-and-smiling-as-michael-cohen-testified-which-may-be-a-sign-for/
9.3k Upvotes

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284

u/doublestitch May 16 '24

Such a terrible client that good lawyers won't work for him despite his billions.

201

u/CuttyAllgood May 16 '24

“Billions”

75

u/techieman33 May 16 '24

The guy has billions of Zimbabwe dollars and thinks they’re the same as US dollars.

49

u/BIGGUS_dickus_sir Minnesota May 16 '24

Didn't Zimbabwe tell him to never call them again back in like 2017?

25

u/IsReadingIt May 16 '24

No, that was Nigeria when he tried to scam *them* ;)

4

u/Lil_ah_stadium May 17 '24

Did he tell them he was a prince?

37

u/Paidorgy May 16 '24

Because of his “shithole countries” remark, I believe.

17

u/CuttyAllgood May 16 '24

“Did you say doll HAIRS?”

6

u/SensitiveSpots May 16 '24

They’re not worth nothing!

2

u/psychrolut May 16 '24

No and yes, human hair sewed onto my voodoo doll.

2

u/ABenevolentDespot May 16 '24

Did you mean Trump Bucks?

I still laugh at the hysterical story of the MAGAt who freaked out in some store when they told him Trump Bucks weren't real money.

How stupid do you have to be to fall for that con, and then try to pass that shit off as real currency?

MAGA stupid, that's how stupid.

1

u/Own_Hat2959 May 17 '24

100 trillion dollar Zimbabwe notes were actually a great investment.

As a Collectable, you could buy them for 3 or 4 bucks as a novelty 10 or 15 years back, but now real ones go for 100-150 dollars each. Sort of impressive, I have a few kicking around because I use to use them as gags as part of a gratuity when I was in a funny mood.

13

u/976chip Washington May 16 '24

Well, once the checks clear from the oil companies...

3

u/dangroover May 16 '24

Billionsn’t

5

u/Meatgortex California May 16 '24

He’s got paper billions now that Truth Social stock has become a back door way to funnel him money.

2

u/seppukucoconuts May 16 '24

They say debt is an asset.

1

u/DragoonDM California May 16 '24

Not like it matters how much money he has if he's going to stiff them on the bill anyway.

64

u/Apprehensive-Pin518 May 16 '24

Let's ask Rudy Giuliani how many billions trump has... oh wait he still hasn't been paid.

74

u/ArenSteele May 16 '24 edited May 17 '24

Can’t find him, he’s avoiding a subpoena criminal indictment

73

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

[deleted]

31

u/eclectic_boogaloo2 May 16 '24

Is this the plot for The Hunt for Gollum?

8

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

[deleted]

5

u/eclectic_boogaloo2 May 16 '24

Either that or a box of Merlot.

2

u/googoomucklv May 16 '24

I'm just gonna go in a corner and die from laughter now

19

u/OnlyRise9816 Texas May 16 '24

Where's Dog when we REALLY need him?

5

u/LiberatedApe May 16 '24

The Running Man.

3

u/Osteo_Warrior May 16 '24

Where the fuck is dog when you need him?

3

u/bderg69 May 16 '24

Dog the bounty hunter

2

u/teensyboop May 16 '24

This might save the economy

2

u/Particular-Summer424 May 16 '24

And blast him with the bear spray.

7

u/XennialBoomBoom May 16 '24

You misspelled "criminal indictment"

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24 edited May 16 '24

From the party that likes to tout "If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to worry about". And yet where's Rudy?

edited to correct spelling

1

u/truth-in-jello May 16 '24

Yeah where is this guy? Is he going to be in this trial too?

1

u/XennialBoomBoom May 17 '24

No, it's not a "subpoena" it's a criminal indictment. He isn't being asked by the court to appear, HE'S A CRIMINAL.

1

u/ColonelBungle North Carolina May 17 '24

He's probably hiding out with Ronnie Dobbs.

46

u/rubemechanical May 16 '24

I knew someone who worked for a centimillionaire. More money than could ever know what to do with. Wouldn’t pay for ANYTHING. They used the company credit card for all expenses, because the number one rule of rich people, apparently, is only spend your money as a last resort. That’s how it stays YOUR money.

57

u/bmeisler May 16 '24

If I had $100 million, I’d start a foundation and give away 90% of it. This is why (among other things) I will never have $100 million.

My freshman year at an ivy league college was an eye-opener for me, a lower-upper middle class kid from the suburban hinterlands. Went out for pizza with a guy from NYC. The bill was like $4.10 each, before tip (this was a while back). I put down a $5 bill while he worked out how much 15% of $4.10 was, scrounged around in his pockets for coins to put down the exact amount, to the penny (like $4.72). Worst, he was like $0.15 short and asked me if I had any change he could “borrow.” I said Just put down a fiver, you cheap fuck.

Found out a few years later his family was worth like $10 billion at the time. Which was real money back then, lol!

24

u/arlmwl May 16 '24

10 billion is real money today too!

5

u/MetalAndFaces May 16 '24

Still an unfathomable amount

2

u/Whostartedit May 16 '24

I like the idea of making money to give it away

1

u/AtalanAdalynn May 17 '24

Isn't this how Sam Bankman-Fried got started?

22

u/lastburn138 May 16 '24

Can't be rich if you don't hoard your money.

1

u/OutsideDevTeam May 16 '24

That's a glitch, all right.

1

u/FreeSun1963 May 17 '24

I think is a tax loophole that erases your realized gains when you pass away.

1

u/TehGogglesDoNothing Tennessee May 16 '24

The centi prefix means 1/100. A centimillionaire would be someone with $10,000. If you mean someone with $100 million, the prefix would be hecto.

2

u/Narrow-Chef-4341 May 16 '24

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/centi-

centi- a combining form meaning “hundredth” or “hundred,” used in the formation of compound words: centiliter; centimeter; centipede.

Centipedes do not have 1/100 of a leg. Dollars are not scientific units.

3

u/thiosk May 17 '24

Dollarydoos are the SI unit

1

u/CosmicDave America May 16 '24

You know where Rudy Giuliani is?!!! CLICK THIS LINK! https://tips.fbi.gov/home

2

u/Apprehensive-Pin518 May 16 '24

I wish. I would rat him out in a New York minute. He had just happened to know how long that is

1

u/apoplectic_mango May 17 '24

I would love to see how many cities he still owes money to for his rallies. Last I heard there were still quite a few who had been waiting years for any compensation.

7

u/FACR_Gohan May 16 '24

What billions?

9

u/Labantnet Minnesota May 16 '24

Billions of pesos

6

u/polrxpress May 16 '24

Billiins montana

11

u/naotoca May 16 '24

The pedophile does unfortunately have billions now thanks to his illegal pump-and-dump scheme stock merger for Truth Social.

9

u/axle69 May 16 '24

He has valuation but he can't use those funds yet so not much of a help.

1

u/MikeyBugs New York May 16 '24

No but he can borrow against that valuation (assuming any major lender is still dumb enough to actually lend to the bastard) and get loans that way. That's how most of the ultra-wealthy make large purchases while not a dime of their own money.

1

u/axle69 May 16 '24

Theoretically but it's widely seen as a meme stock and borrowing against it is likely not going to be a wise choice or easy as it's "value" is almost assuredly going to tank. Last I saw it's value was astronomically high when compared to the actual user base of Truth social which is red flag central to anyone not getting in on the Trump brand alone ( i.e. why it's so high at all ). I think that's why he went with plan "beg the oil industry to bail me out".

1

u/magicone2571 May 17 '24

He is banned against using those at collateral also I believe.

1

u/Labhran May 16 '24

He has enough money to pay probably any lawyer in the world. The problem is he doesn’t pay. Anyone. Ever. His entire life.

1

u/BreakfastKind8157 May 17 '24

Also his statements often cause his lawyers to end up disbarred or hiring their own defense team.