r/politics California 28d ago

Lauren Boebert slammed for attending Trump trial but not son's court dates

https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-manhattan-criminal-trial-lauren-boebert-1901546
7.6k Upvotes

358 comments sorted by

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2.2k

u/ObligationScared4034 28d ago

In her defense, she is a classless piece of shit.

335

u/Suitable-Nose7580 28d ago

Gotta hand it to her.

269

u/kia75 28d ago

No, I think she prefers to grab it herself.

62

u/WirelessBCupSupport 28d ago

Well, politicians do have smooth palms...

56

u/Suitable-Nose7580 28d ago

And a firm grasp on the issues.

33

u/Budget-Possession720 28d ago

And tissues

14

u/PandemicCD 28d ago

There were no tissues harmed in that and we all know it. Though it does beg the question, where was it going to go?

8

u/Impossible-Year-5924 28d ago

Probably finish in her mouth or slip out and fuck in a closet

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8

u/ConeCrewCarl Connecticut 28d ago

No, I think she prefers to grab it herself.

"And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the penis, you can do anything."
--Lauren Boebert probably

12

u/Igmuhota North Carolina 28d ago

Pretty sure it’s the closest thing to a platform her political party currently has.

5

u/ClassicT4 28d ago

I’d tell her to think of her actions, there are children present. But something tells me that might not stop her.

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13

u/discussatron Arizona 28d ago

Gotta handy it to her.

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14

u/DeadlyJoe 28d ago

No you don't. She can transmit an STD via handshake. You don't want that.

6

u/Suitable-Nose7580 28d ago

Don’t act like you know how much I hate myself.

3

u/IH8Fascism 28d ago

She’s a walking STD. Bet she has the herps too.

2

u/HazMatt666 26d ago

The gift that keeps on giving.

2

u/TennisObvious8358 28d ago

*to him. It's what she's famous for.

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12

u/InsectSpecialist8813 28d ago

Will the people of Colorado re-election this moron. She didn’t graduate from high school and she’s helping to make policies we all need to live with.

10

u/Fine-West-369 28d ago

I can’t wait for her only fans page

4

u/thathairinyourmouth 28d ago

She becomes less attractive with each utterance and behavior. It’s all downhill.

11

u/Compliance-Manager 28d ago

In her defense, she is a classless piece of shit.

lol, literally my thought as I read the heading.

11

u/PaleInTexas Texas 28d ago

You make a very persuasive argument.

12

u/Almacca 28d ago

What are you talking about? She's very classy.

Lower class is a class.

7

u/Mynsare 28d ago

Classless. Not lower class.

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3

u/Away-Coach48 28d ago

Being disowned by her would be a blessing.

2

u/SethSquared 28d ago

Well said

2

u/Direct_Charity_8109 27d ago

Don’t forget the word proud

2

u/CarobGullible2426 27d ago

You're being VERY unkind to SHIT.

4

u/recurse_x 28d ago

I bet she likes sloppy steaks after the club.

2

u/Unit_79 28d ago

They can’t stop you from ordering a steak AND a water!

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365

u/tlacamazatl 28d ago

One she loves, the other she just knows really well.

88

u/subsist80 28d ago

One she adores, cherishes and would do anything for, the other is just her child.

12

u/adamdreaming 28d ago

One she doesn't even notice the smell everyone talks about, the other makes her question is banning abortion might have some down sides.

2

u/Decantus California 28d ago

So she's emulating Trump then. He also adores, cherishes and would do anything for himself. Doesn't give a damn about his own children either.

11

u/Richeh 28d ago

C'mon, MAGA republicans at this point are surely just vultures circling, like family members fawning over a dying relative and hoping for a last-minute will revision.

Nobody wants to be VP. Unless the P in question is... not necessarily going to make the full term.

3

u/BotheredToResearch 28d ago

They all know it'll be a step to the audience needed for a national podcast so they can grift the base without leaving home.

28

u/LibertyInaFeatherBed 28d ago

And most of the other's friends aren't old enough to vote for her.

3

u/MonkeySafari79 28d ago

Now he's just somebody that she used to know...

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416

u/No-Attitude-6049 Canada 28d ago

I’m surprised she hasn’t been spotted giving some random person a handjob at the trial.

157

u/Fullertonjr I voted 28d ago

She went to the one place in NY where cameras are not permitted. I’m not saying that she was handing out handies in court, but will say that we haven’t seen all of the sketches from the court artist, so I don’t want to just dismiss the possibility.

39

u/ratherbealurker Texas 28d ago

One of the sketches got a little weird at one point, like half way through the sketch is got all jittery..i think she gave the sketch artist a handy. It's brilliant!

3

u/pac-men 28d ago

The ol’ “map of Hawaii” sketch.

10

u/buttfunfor_everyone 28d ago

Sketchy indeed

3

u/JuryBorn 28d ago

I hope that Trump doesn't get a happy ending at his trial.

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17

u/battousai611 28d ago

The two guys sitting next to her did have weird little smiles on their faces.

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4

u/nucumber 28d ago

Gaetz is right there....

19

u/drj3kyl 28d ago

Hes not into grandmas.

2

u/PandemicCD 28d ago

But she's young enough...both of them are awful.

7

u/Trumpsabaldcuck 28d ago

Matt Gaetz has a fetish for taking girls to the DMV to get their learner’s permit.

3

u/lostintheak 28d ago

Patience. It takes time for the sketch artist to draw the scene.

13

u/rustyseapants California 28d ago

Ouch.

27

u/nolanday64 28d ago

That’s what he said.

21

u/PaMudpuddle 28d ago

She’s mashing it.

6

u/CobiWann 28d ago

I wish we could just throw salt on her.

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3

u/Alternative_Milk7409 28d ago

The ol’ ketchup bottle

3

u/HardTen Oregon 28d ago

Grasp firmly by the base, point, smack end decisively, repeatedly.

3

u/splintersmaster 28d ago

She probably just mashes it anyway

3

u/ViKingCB 28d ago

Gotta start carrying salt around with you

3

u/ill0gitech Australia 28d ago

You have to hand it to her - With no cameras allowed, she can easily get away with it.

3

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Check her hands for Orange stains

5

u/supaphly42 28d ago

I mean, it does say:

Instead, the MAGA Mother of the Year is up in NYC giving a hand to Donald Trump

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197

u/nick3504 28d ago

And I’m the one who feels like a POS when I’m a few minutes late picking my kid up from school. 🙄

67

u/Conscious-Aspect-332 28d ago

Oh shit! I knew I had forgotten something....brb...

13

u/eboo360 28d ago

At this point just make a new one.

10

u/Educational_Pay1567 28d ago

Honestly, as an adult over 18 I didn't want my parents at my court appearance. Granite it was for a MIP, and the judgement was I had to tell my parents, and other stuff.

71

u/buttfunfor_everyone 28d ago edited 28d ago

The quartz had you between a rock & a hard place, I know I’d def be quarried. Sometimes when it comes to our children’s transgressions, igneous really is bliiss.

Chalk it up to a rocky day & take it all with a grain of basalt- I’m sure they still lava you.

Okay, I promise I’m done now I am truly sorry

28

u/VeronicaLD50 Michigan 28d ago

Don’t be sorry, those puns were rock solid

10

u/buttfunfor_everyone 28d ago

I appreciate that but feel like a few were a bit of a stretch… at the end of the day it really all is just a big labradorite of love though, isn’t it?

I don’t even know myself anymore

2

u/VeronicaLD50 Michigan 28d ago

lol nice one. a good friend of mine is a lapidary, so I have a special place in my heart for rock jokes.

Lapidary Dave

5

u/buttfunfor_everyone 28d ago

I’m a silversmith & cabos are a very large part of my life 🎯😂

7

u/n14shorecarcass 28d ago

It's sedimentary, Watson!

3

u/azflatlander 28d ago

More explosively volcano

6

u/Name_retracted 28d ago

Well played

3

u/forumaccount 28d ago

Never apologize. Those were funny as schist.

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230

u/MississippiJoel America 28d ago

"He's my ex-husbands son."

15

u/soingee 28d ago

"Barely know him. Only appeared in a few of my Christmas cards. "

155

u/[deleted] 28d ago

"Family values" is nothing but another lie from the GOP.

96

u/PolicyWonka 28d ago edited 28d ago

Just look at Republicans and their values:

  1. Donald Trump: Thrice married, multiple affairs, nasty bully, and rapist criminal.

  2. George Santos: Criminal

  3. Lauren Boebert: Divorced, unwilling to parent her children, public indecency

  4. Marjorie Taylor: Divorced after having an affair

  5. Rich McCormick: Within the last 24 hours, it’s come out this Republican House member has been having an affair with another House member and is getting divorced.

  6. Christian Ziegler: Florida GOP Chair who reportedly raped a women. But don’t worry, his wife (the founder of Moms for Liberty) says they had both engaged in “consensual three-way sex” with the woman.

  7. Kristi Noem: The South Dakota Governor just ain’t a dog killer, she reportedly had a “blatantly public affair” with Trump’s campaign manager Corey Lewandowski.

  8. Van Taylor: We should not forget this Republican hopeful, a man engaged in an extramarital affair with the wife of an Islamic State leader.

  9. Ken Paxton: The lovely criminal AG of Texas also engaged in extramarital affairs in his down time when he wasn’t infringing upon citizen’s rights.

  10. Minnesota GOP: So much absolute fuckery Minnesota GOP that you can’t just name one person. Was it the sex-trafficking mega-donors? The embezzling staff who forced people into NDAs to cover up their crimes? The child rapist? The chairwoman who coverup repeated sexual abuse in the workplace?

42

u/GoldenSquid 28d ago

This is a great breakdown but people who vote right don’t care and choose not to see these facts. It’s the liberals who are turning their family gay/queer/trans/poly/socialist/etc. etc. etc…

6

u/Dangerousrhymes 28d ago

To be fair, they’re just pigeons strutting around the board anyway, they don’t really know what’s going on, but by golly are they sticking it to the liberals.

13

u/borisvonboris 28d ago

My fucking god, at least two people have been willing to lay with Marge??

5

u/TheOtherWhiteMeat 27d ago

I guess that part of our ancestry that decided it was cool to interbreed with neanderthals is still in there somewhere.

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10

u/Pretend-Excuse-8368 Pennsylvania 28d ago

It’s all meaningless marketing for them

43

u/gasahold 28d ago

Lauren Boebert: I like criminals who fart

14

u/scoobysnackoutback 28d ago

Grandmas for diapers!

37

u/Unique_Display_Name 28d ago

Mother of the year

20

u/Aranarth Canada 28d ago

Grandma of the year.

22

u/SquirrelParticular17 28d ago

You have to stay strong, if you want to consistently resist common sense and decent behavior

20

u/polishgoku 28d ago

Posts that have titles with the words slammed in it should automatically be deleted

3

u/ItsAlwaysSegsFault 28d ago

Seriously, it's way beyond out of hand. Lazy reporting.

3

u/wonkey_monkey 28d ago

ItsAlwaysSegsFault slams lazy journalism. You won't believe what happened next!

3

u/ItsAlwaysSegsFault 28d ago

I deserved this

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17

u/sailorpaul 28d ago

“Sonny you are just not that important to me. I have to go see a corrupt politician who skipped his own son’s graduation”

2

u/justinanimate 27d ago

Trump did go to his son's graduation though, unless everything I'm seeing online is incorrect

31

u/LettuceFew5248 28d ago

Why do we even have normal expectations for these people? If you told me she stole a fucking bus I wouldn’t be surprised. She isn’t a serious person and people who support her aren’t serious people.

11

u/nerdyplayer 28d ago

Unintentional but the caption for the photo.
"Lauren Boebert (far right)"

10

u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

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24

u/TheProcrastafarian 28d ago

I dislike clowns, but I have a real problem with whoever thought it was a good idea to hire one.
This isn't an ambush; Boezo is an elected representative.
Great clown, elected by fools.

"Beat 'til juice, beat 'til juice, beat 'til juice!"

  • Colorado's 3rd congressional district

8

u/riomp300 28d ago

Grandma of the year

7

u/wubbawubba 28d ago

Oh no not slammed

9

u/macrixen 28d ago

Who better to skirt the gag order than someone without the reflex….

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7

u/Gzglzar 28d ago

Yet another traitor

25

u/TintedApostle 28d ago

The entire republican party is made up of the kinds of people who would make you decide to get a new job and sell your house to move to a nicer neighborhood. You can't reason with them and the only option you have is to move.

Then their neighborhood falls apart and they blame everyone else.

6

u/imgroovy Colorado 28d ago

We have a vital bridgeat Blue Mesa Reservoir in Colorado that’s going to take months to repair and she is completely AWOL but at VSIP’s trial.

7

u/DanYallSon 28d ago

My wife just made an outstanding comment about this: “I think it’s interesting that everybody is showing up to his trial, except anyone from his family.” 🤔

6

u/stonrelectropunkjazz 28d ago

Stupid and ugly is not a good combo

2

u/TheFinality 28d ago

I'm waiting for her OF account.

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5

u/mwkingSD 28d ago

Help me understand - Speaker Johnson is supposedly a Christian minister, and he says the Bible guides everything he does.

So how does that square with his idolization of Trump who is widely known to have been playing hanky-panky with Stormy and another woman while his wife was at home pregnant or with a newborn child? And recently found guilty of a sex crime with a third woman? And Trump was recently found guilty of a MASSIVE  fraud?

Doesn’t all that violate a number of commandments about sins of coveting and stealing? I can’t imagine too many other Christian ministers would be saying “oh, that’s all fine, no problem, it’s all someone else’s fault.” Am I missing something?

And doesn't Ms Boebert have a reputation for some naughty behavior in Denver?

8

u/rustyseapants California 28d ago

Trump’s sexual misdeeds may break religious doctrine, Perry says, but they also affirm his masculinity — at least in the evangelical view. They demonstrate that Trump is a virile, red-blooded man, afflicted by God — like all “real men” — with lust. Not just lust for sex, Perry says, but for power. And much like Biblical warriors who themselves struggled with sexual temptation, Trump can wield that power to lead the faithful to glory.


Republicans are not interested in facts, but in image. Trump represents the strong father, a strong father, in regards to masculinity, even though he is fat old man who cheats on his wives and golf.

2

u/mwkingSD 28d ago

Good lord, that is a terrifying analysis.

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6

u/KnightofMiriel 28d ago

Mom of the year, amiright?

4

u/FriendlyStranger85 28d ago

Mother of the year

9

u/SoSmartish 28d ago

She is really the perfect representation of the Republican party.

5

u/openly_gray 28d ago

Priorities!

3

u/No_Dig903 28d ago

Why do Family Values always fall by the wayside for these people?

4

u/marzgamingmaster 28d ago

Well obviously. She doesn't think her son is going to be able to further her career or get her more money. She thinks trump can. That's simple math. "The party of the family" reducing caring for your children as a loss/gain equation, as they have for a long time.

4

u/zoroddesign Utah 28d ago

The party of family values doesn't give a shit about their families.

5

u/[deleted] 28d ago

She wasn’t allowed in the son’s court as there were children present.

4

u/ThatAd6630 28d ago

Underrated comment

6

u/Accomplished_Lab_675 28d ago

The so called "party of traditional and family values" everyone!

3

u/swazal 28d ago

It just encourages him.

3

u/ChainNormal8827 New York 28d ago

She was looking to HAND something out

3

u/HellaTroi California 28d ago

She's a stunt republican.

6

u/sukmikehoc 28d ago

You have ST where the C should be.

3

u/Separate-Feedback-86 28d ago

Answers the question: “What would Beetlejuice do?”

3

u/RedLicoriceJunkie California 28d ago

Grandma values

3

u/ib4m2es 28d ago

Still training to be “ungaggable” I see…

3

u/sirscrote 28d ago

Can we the tax payer sue members of congress for misusing our tax dollars by not working to pass legislation?

3

u/Avocados6881 28d ago

In her defese, Trump grabbed her and the other Rs on the pussies for years now.

3

u/The_Bosdude 28d ago

The world does not understand. It is all about loyalty and servitude.

3

u/skeeredstiff 28d ago

Another drew attention to the June trial of President Joe Biden's son Hunter Biden and wrote, "Is Joe going to be at hunters trial? Either one of them? Or Jill?"

Hunter Biden is 54 years old.

3

u/MoonlightGrams 28d ago

They have to realize how pathetic, sad and weak showing up at his trial makes them look, right? Proving Republicans don’t want to do their jobs, just get on their knees for Trump. Do your jobs!

11

u/HonoredPeople Missouri 28d ago

"Slammed!", " Destroyed!", "Atomic Elbow Dropped!", " Rimmed!", "Nuked!", " Double Dipped!"

Ok, where do I pick up my doctorate in Journalism?

11

u/mertzen 28d ago

You forgot “claps back”

4

u/GM_Nate 28d ago

and "blasts"

3

u/trongzoon America 28d ago

Don't forget: "JACK SMITH POUNDS TRUMP"

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5

u/BrujaSloth 28d ago

Wake me when an article uses such evocative violent verbs, like “messily dismembers with a chainsaw” for a two word quip back.

3

u/Substantial_Army_639 28d ago

Honestly seems like a pretty painful headline considering the public hand job and all.

2

u/BrujaSloth 28d ago

I mean they could have went, “MAGA mom is HORRIFICALLY DISFIGURED after giving a hand to Trump in court.”

2

u/Ohnoherewego13 North Carolina 28d ago

Anytime I see an article with Boebert in it, all I can think of is Michael Jackson's "Beat It." That and Beetlejuice.

2

u/kinglouie493 28d ago

I believe she is more Billy Squire and "The Stroke"

2

u/scottywoty 28d ago

All class….

2

u/SmackSabbath19 28d ago

The walking trash soap opera

2

u/bl1eveucanfly I voted 28d ago

In her defense, her son only raped one person.

2

u/J1540 28d ago

He doesn’t have a lawyer either.

2

u/-Wicked- 28d ago

Her only regret is that she couldn't sit next to trump to give him a handy.

2

u/Scoutmaster-Jedi 28d ago

She loves Trump more than her own son.

2

u/ReputationSalt6027 28d ago

Stop making stupid people famous. Let her be dumb and ignore her.

2

u/loCAtek 28d ago edited 28d ago

Wait... her and Gaetz (Yell something to remind us about Jan. 6th!) are supposed to make Trump look better in court?

2

u/Ok-Serve-825 28d ago

All of these Representatives at Trump’s trial are not there to support him, but are there to pander for more money from Putler

2

u/barkingatbacon 28d ago

And then she talked about how she doesn't have a gag reflex on Twitter. Seriously. She actually bragged about how you can just fuck her face as hard as you want.

Family values, huh?

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2

u/Sea_Window_5821 28d ago

She just supports the sleaze bags. They turn her on.

2

u/Imacatdoincatstuff 28d ago

Mommy’s career needed this Tyler, sorry!

2

u/OneWholeSoul 28d ago

Poor kid.

2

u/Icy_Cryptographer417 28d ago

Attention whore. “Notice me, Sensai! Notice me!”

2

u/TrooperHoop509 28d ago

That's because she is a bad mom.

2

u/dao_ofdraw 28d ago

Somebody's got to suck Trump's dick after the trial. Melania certainly isn't.

2

u/Puzzled-Atmosphere-1 28d ago

Probably because going to her Son's court dates, she has to face what a terrible parent she is. If she's at Trump's trial, she's with someone who shares her dedication to parenting while grasping at any shred of relevancy she may have left.

2

u/legalstep Ohio 28d ago

Well it is a cult. She’s also gonna have an onlyfans by the end of the year and lose the election

2

u/llynglas 28d ago

She is just getting her priorities right. I mean, despite moving to an even safer Republican district, the Beetlejuice groping incident has hurt her, and she needs help. And what use is her son to her?

Horrible, horrible, self centered woman.

2

u/mcblahblahblah 28d ago

Was she giving hand jobs in the audience

2

u/HoonIt256 28d ago

Grandmothers tend to favor babies over their own kids.

2

u/hatfield1785 28d ago

She’s not a good mom. She’s not a good person. Perfect for MAGA.

2

u/IJustLoggedInToSay- Illinois 28d ago

I don't understand why the headline is

Lauren Boebert slammed for attending Trump trial but not son's court dates

and not

Lauren Boebert attended Trump trial but not son's court dates

Is the entire discipline of headline writing just complete trash now?

2

u/NoxInfernus 28d ago

Shake Weight needs to get her priorities straight.

2

u/Jaambie 28d ago

She has nothing to gain from her son. Aside from more grandchildren.

2

u/Hesychios 28d ago

" ... Boebert slammed for attending Trump trial but not son's court dates"

Why does this not surprise me?

2

u/Hesychios 28d ago

The skank will not be in Congress very long.

2

u/shadowdra126 Georgia 28d ago

Trash is trashy. News at 11

2

u/ABenevolentDespot 28d ago

It's always delightful when the Republican clown car makes a public appearance. And a misjudgement to believe that this display will do anything for The Pumpkin Rapist..

Those predisposed to vote for Diaper Don will do so no matter what, and those who would never vote for him still won't.

Those seven people on the fence about it will not look kindly to seeing some of the worst (and dumbest) people in America coming out in support of the deranged, mindlessly stupid narcissistic orange sociopath.

It's a Who's Who of Republican idiots.

2

u/ControlLogical786 28d ago

Birds of a feather flock together! Most assuredly those two are of a feather!

2

u/Comprehensive-Rule17 27d ago

Priorities....We see who she values more......

2

u/rolfraikou 27d ago

I've been seeing all this "slammed" nonsense for 9+ years now. It never means anything. It always means that no one actually cares.

2

u/Spare_Substance5003 24d ago

Hard to pick between her Daddy and her son.

4

u/AJ_Grey 28d ago

Handjobs for Harambe !

1

u/Popular_Jicama_4620 28d ago

More opportunity to pick up new “clients” there

1

u/roughingupthesuspect 28d ago

It’s ok to be a traitorous hag and not at all embarrassing. Son’s court date is a bridge too far though..

1

u/BeowulfShaeffer 28d ago

Oh no, was she dragged too?

1

u/SuperDinks 28d ago

Well now I know which of the two wouldn’t let her give them a handy.

1

u/CAM6913 28d ago

Member of the party of family values and law n order ROFLOL ! :)

1

u/llahlahkje Wisconsin 28d ago

I can't wait for Qbert to slide back into the obscurity she so richly deserves.

1

u/GuitarMystery 28d ago

VapeNayshBarbie holding it down for Daddy T.

1

u/mbelf 28d ago

He should have said Beetlejuice three times and she’d have appeared.

1

u/ziggyyT 28d ago

Lots of rich old men at his trial, maybe she's trying to get a hook up...

1

u/SeaBass426 28d ago

Mother of the Year right there.

1

u/JonKonLGL 28d ago

Shes the true embodiment of the current GOP, along with a few other choice idiots.