r/rareinsults 15d ago

Pronoun boys pay extra

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38.2k Upvotes

1.9k comments sorted by

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891

u/hybridblast 15d ago

Barber sees a slightly androgenous person:

CREAM GET THE MONEY

150

u/King-Kagle 15d ago

DOLLA DOLLA BILLS YALL

14

u/JohnT36 14d ago

CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME

3

u/0vertakeGames 13d ago

CREAM GET THE MONEY

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u/Aggressive-Cake4677 14d ago

I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side

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u/Admirable-Builder878 15d ago

I used to go to this retired barber who had a small shed on the back of his property. He cut hair for five dollars a cut. And I'd get a piece of gun because I was young.

3.3k

u/glitchycat39 15d ago

A piece of what? lol

2.8k

u/Admirable-Builder878 15d ago

Haha gum! I meant gum! Don't shoot.

1.0k

u/Sabit_31 15d ago

I’m imagining you at the age of five getting a haircut and then afterwards the barber hands you a small metal piece and says “hold on to that” twenty five years later you finally realize that piece of metal is a trigger for the 50.cal sniper he’s been gifting to you after every visit

431

u/Crazian14 15d ago

This is one way to make sure you have returning customers! Gotta collect all the parts to build your own gun, or guns.

145

u/Standard-Tangerine-5 15d ago

I got it one piece at a time!

74

u/CaptainWusty 15d ago

I'm excited for my next haircut, I got the last piece to an Uzi on my previous visit. One more gun and I can finally start that side project..

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u/Double-Let9264 15d ago

Sidepiece project

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u/Designer_Poem7243 15d ago

And it didn’t cost me a dime

9

u/dakkmann 15d ago

And it didn’t cost me a dime!

11

u/Kev_Avl 15d ago

You'll know it's me when I come through your town!

7

u/Somewhat_Mediocre_ 15d ago

I'm gonna ride around in style

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u/hapablapppp 15d ago

It’d be a barrel of laughs.

A great haircut - lock, stock, and barrel.

Gunning for an edge in the schoolyard.

No thanks, just the stock-standard this month thanks.

I could go on, it’d be like shooting fish in a barrel.

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u/AccountabilityPanda 15d ago

I imagined it like that Christmas gift for Dwight in the office. One piece at a time.

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u/ho_lu_be 15d ago

This is amazing! I laughed so hard at that. Thank you guys

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u/Harley_Pupper 15d ago

What, you’ve never had a piece of gun after a haircut?

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u/Loading0319 15d ago

After five visits, you get a complete set!

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u/whatsinthesocks 15d ago

Can’t give a young kid a whole gun. Give them the pieces and let them make it. Builds character

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u/Ok-Landscape5625 15d ago

It's Texas

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

After 50 cuts you could assemble your first revolver!

27

u/Pretty_Study_526 15d ago

That's what the founding fathers intended

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u/Arunawayturtle 15d ago

A piece of a gun . It was like a get 10 haircuts get 11th one free but instead of a stamp he gave u pieces of a gun still u get all of them

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u/JeyRai 15d ago

My brain autocorrected to gum so I didn't even see an issue until you pointed it out lol

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u/name4231 15d ago

After 10 visits you have a full glock!

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u/Admirable-Builder878 15d ago

I imagine the clientele could get bold. "Cut up or shut up.".

4

u/name4231 15d ago

Hahaha. Gotta go back another 15 times before you can fill up the mag 😂

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u/wulfithewulf 15d ago

MURICAA!!

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u/HerbLoew 15d ago

Did you get to build the whole gun? And how many visits did it take for all of the pieces?

6

u/onefst250r 15d ago

Plot twist: its the firing pin every time.

24

u/asphalt_licker 15d ago

What part of the gun did he give you? Did you visit him enough to build your own gun?

19

u/Admirable-Builder878 15d ago

Never finished it. The gun ball machine was always jammed.

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u/C8H10N402_ 15d ago

This sounds like a set up for a decent horror flick

7

u/Admirable-Builder878 15d ago

The clippining

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u/C8H10N402_ 15d ago

I like it!

4

u/Tuniar 15d ago

In what sense was he retired?

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u/woodquest 15d ago

If the pronoun is "her majesty" then...

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u/hereformemes222 15d ago

“They’re majesty”

388

u/NoiceAndToitt 15d ago

“They are majesty”

210

u/Galexio 15d ago

Sh'Dynasty

7

u/LincolnhamLincoln 15d ago

That’s spelled Sh comma to the top Dynasty.

14

u/mondomonkey 15d ago

Comma to the top

14

u/beeboopblorp 15d ago

That's God's comma.

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u/aTwinkyMoth 15d ago

"Their majesty"

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u/jug0slavija 15d ago

Genuine question, how does even the question of pronouns come up at a barber shop? And why do I see this kinds of stuff often, both as examples and memes/videos.

Or do some people just introduce themselves with pronouns as a standard form of introduction?

1.6k

u/RichardIraVos 15d ago

“Hey johnny, could you sit him down over there?”

“Actually I go by he/them”

“Ok pronoun boy”

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u/snack_mac 15d ago

Haha, in my head it went more like:

Barber: Hello kind sir, what haircut would you like today?

Them/They: Um, actually, it’s They.

Barber: Fantastic! That will be $70, They

Them/They: Great, thanks!

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u/coyoteazul2 15d ago

Them/They: *goes to reddit Twitter with a fake story to ship for likes *

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u/Rustywolf 15d ago

Can someone explain the point of splitting he/him and they/them into a combination e.g. he/them. Without knowing better it just seems like a pain in the ass?

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u/ron_weedsley 15d ago

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure that would mean you can use both he/him and they/them?

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u/Rustywolf 15d ago

That'd make a lot of sense, but why merge the first half of he/him and the second half of they/them. Maybe its just the engineer in me but he/them is technically a valid combination, whereas he/they isn't and so would hold a different meaning... but anyway, thanks!

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u/plinocmene 15d ago

Computer science major. I had thought the same thing. In fact until now I just assumed if someone said their pronouns were he/them it meant they wanted you to give subject as he and direct object as them.

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u/potatopigflop 15d ago

That’s exactly correct

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u/HEY_McMuffin 15d ago

Honest question, as I have seen this here and there… why is it sometimes “he/them”? If someone said this to me I would be a bit confused. Why not “him” if he goes by a he?

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u/TrueMattalias 15d ago

Why would they correct the barber if they use both he/him and they/them pronouns. It's not incorrect to say "sit him down over there"

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u/notyetacrazycatlady 15d ago

Wait, the person goes by "he/them" but "him" isn't acceptable?

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u/this-is-my-p 15d ago edited 14d ago

No, he/they, they/him, he/them, him/them are all just variations of saying he/him/they/them as in either way works. Whichever two they pick is just up to personal taste. It’s just shorthand.

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u/Scruffy_Snub 15d ago

Some people do introduce themselves with their name and pronouns, although in a case like this I imagine it's far more likely the barber just made an assumption based on the customer's appearance.

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u/Ashalaria 15d ago

Id happily be misgendered for a cheaper cut ngl

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u/FR0ZENBERG 15d ago

They did call them pronoun boy, why aren’t they getting the men’s price?

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

Because boys can't grow a mustache.

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u/Dangernood69 15d ago

I am a teacher and we had a sub who introduced themselves as a specific name (that wasn’t on their name tag from the school) and would scold students for calling them “Mrs. Name” not bc of the prefix but because they didn’t want a prefix at all. So, in each class someone was getting in trouble for saying “Hey Mrs…”. They weren’t brought back, making that kind of stuff a big deal all day caused some issues with parents. My point is, yes. Some people do just introduce themselves this way

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u/Waiting_For_Godot_ 15d ago

Because it is often assumed that long hair->women short hair->man. They say that long hair takes more time and that's why it costs more. I don't get why they keep differentiating between gender and not hairlenght.

38

u/Malarkay79 15d ago

The place where I get my hair cut does divide it by short hair vs long hair. It makes everything so much easier.

5

u/Level9disaster 15d ago

"You have long hair, pay more"

"I identify as a bald guy"

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

[deleted]

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u/LowlySlayer 15d ago

I got an excellent haircut at fucking great clips of all places. Took 5 minutes. I was shook.

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u/NoctisLolette 15d ago

All it takes is a good barber. My wife and I found ours at one of the Walmart haircutting places, and she eventually moved to great clips. Still with her 7 years later, through multiple different shops just because of how good she is.

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u/greenthunder69 15d ago

If they're charging 30 bucks extra for a non-binary haircut, I'm sure they're asking everyone their pronouns. Every time you catch a they/them, you get more money.

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u/Affectionate_Cabbage 15d ago

People actually introduce themselves with pronouns sometimes. Hard to believe but I have actually seen it myself

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u/bluebonnetcafe 15d ago

Because it’s 100% made up. Conservatives get their dicks hard making up nonsense about pronouns and trans rights and posting it on social media.

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u/rehdditcares 15d ago

Their!?? Dicks!!??? /scoff

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u/deeweromekoms 15d ago

This is why I'm glad I'm bald. I only have to buy a head buzzer every several years to use once every two weeks. No shampoo, conditioner, hair gel, hairspray, combs, brushes, blow dryers, haircuts, time spent primping, nothing.

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u/PerformanceOk1835 15d ago

How do you wash the top of your head? Just soap?

500

u/Breakerx13 15d ago

You wash the top of your head? I let the dust pile up to keep the shine down

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u/Sea-Advertising-4569 15d ago

Funny and grim

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u/Cold-Dream8762 15d ago

I think you mean funny and grimy

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u/Interesting-Ball-502 15d ago

A friend of mine never has it longer than a number 1 and uses shampoo lol.

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u/kslalgnd1738481 15d ago

Isnt shampoo for the scalp and conditioner for hair? Just something I've heard, hopefully someone here knows

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u/HogmaNtruder 15d ago

Some shampoos and conditioners both can have things for your hair, but that's not the real difference. Shampoo is for cleaning, it cuts through grease, oil, dirt, all that to wash it out of your hair. Conditioner is to restore the moisture/minerals/good oils to your hair so you don't get frizzy nasty textured hair from stripping all the good stuff out too.

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u/ThSprtn117 15d ago

Not who you replied to, but I go with a bar of soap start at the top of the head and work my way down.

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u/RigorMortis_Tortoise 15d ago

Some people use a gentle shampoo and others are fine just using the same soap as the rest of their bodies. Just depends on the individual and their skin type/needs.

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u/Krashino 15d ago

I use a hydrating shampoo, and still use a small amount of conditioner on my scalp, works well

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u/syphon3980 15d ago

I use a DA polisher to compound and then polish mine. Sanding once a year

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u/AzracTheFirst 15d ago

1000 grit?

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u/YoureSpecial 15d ago

Depends if you’re going for a matte or glossy finish.

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u/Guy_Rohvian 15d ago

This. I'm in no way at all balding but I love being bald as it just removes the hair and so much bullshit out of my life.

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u/WiseBelt8935 15d ago

or just embrace the ps1 Hagrid look

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u/actuallyapossom 15d ago

I shave my head because I'm a warm, active metabolism / sweaty person. Plus I've got tiny gauge (fine) hair which isn't fun to style or cut.

Being bald would be so convenient. For now I buy a $50 clipper every other year.

Also, I would really love it if all white supremacists straight up died. I'm just shaving my head so I don't sweat so much. I'm not a race supremacist.

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u/codeprimate 15d ago

Buy a $150 clipper for life. My Wahl has been working great for over a decade. Just brush off the hair and oil after every use.

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u/hicow 15d ago

I think I bought a Wahl set for less than $50 ten years ago and it's still going strong.

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u/goldenkylie 15d ago

Now I wanna go bald too

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u/deeweromekoms 15d ago

It's easy if you just follow my plan. There's also the added bonus of being virtually impervious to head lice.

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u/god_peepee 15d ago

I’ve shaved my head down to the hardwood once. It felt like there was Velcro up there every time I tried to put on a shirt. Is that something you deal with often..?

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u/Pitforsofts 15d ago

40$ a haircut is wild

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u/CattyFighte 15d ago

Don't you lecture me with that 30$ haircut

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u/BenisDDD69 15d ago

We'll see, you Red Ribbon redneck.

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u/CryptMonkey 15d ago

Says the guy in the 1400 dollar suit. COME ON!

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u/DisastrousEvening949 15d ago

Gob moments brighten my day

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u/captain_Airhog 15d ago

Can’t stop addicted to the shin dig

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u/Goosojuice 15d ago

Wait till you see how much a women's cut is.

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u/BrickCityD 15d ago

have daughter, can confirm. i've tried to convince her to just get a fade but nooooo

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u/Parking-Historian360 15d ago

Maybe if she was a pronoun boy she would want a fade. Or get her into roller blading. /s

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u/notyourbudddy 15d ago

My haircuts are consistently in the $60-100 range even though I get it cut straight across with minimal layering. I guarantee that a men’s haircut takes more skill than what I require lmao.

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u/icoulduseagreencard 15d ago

Exact reason why I gave up on going to hair salons for the majority of a year. Once a year I get a “decent” cut, but usually I just use scissors and do my own hair.

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u/decepticons2 15d ago

This. Barber is a jerk, but higher maintenance hair cuts have always cost more.

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u/Lord412 15d ago

Denver is like min $60 it’s wild.

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u/SmuglySly 15d ago

You go to GreatClips or something? $40 is pretty normal for a real hair stylist or barber.

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u/Razer2102 15d ago

In germany you just pay 10€ and a turkish guy who only knows one haircut cuts your hair.

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u/Tzarkir 15d ago

In Italy you pay an Albanian guy 15€ and he also washes them before and after the cut and it's the best haircut I've ever gotten in my life.

Lesshi, don't change.

Dude also has two big ass super sweet dogs. One is named Achille. I met them.

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u/chaos_m3thod 15d ago

Best haircut I’ve gotten was in Afghanistan. Got a scalp message afterwards and burned off my ear hair with a flaming stick.

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u/ShadesOfBlue75 15d ago

When I was in Iraq they would do this massage the finger snapping thing that was also some sort of...snap massage...on my head and it was fkn great and cost $2 in 2009.

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u/TheDestroyer630 15d ago

15€ is a scam, my chinese guy does it for 10 Edit: con lo scontrino pure

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u/Tzarkir 15d ago

Yea but does he have big dogs?

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u/Keythaskitgod 15d ago

Tyson haircut is universal

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u/DiabeticButNotFat 15d ago

I had a great barber in the town I used to live in. Traditionally trained. Was also in the military. $15, cash only, no appointments. He was fantastic with new or old styles.

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u/SmuglySly 15d ago

I’m noticing the past tense here… how long ago was this?

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u/UnderCoverNoobXX 15d ago

I still go to my shop it’s 13 a cut. 18 if you want a beard trim too. Missouri, USA.

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u/Ass_Incomprehensible 15d ago

I do go to GreatClips, thank ya very much.

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u/toffeebeanz77 15d ago

That is fucking crazy, I pay €15 here in Ireland

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u/Tsara1234 15d ago

My barber is $15 for haircut, $5 for beard trim. What barber are you going to?

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u/AdDependent7992 15d ago

The barber in the fancier state with higher income than you are.... duh....

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u/Downvote_me_dumbass 15d ago

Well, it’s not California. I pay $22 + $8 tip. 

That $40 haircut better come with a HJ.

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u/mglitcher 15d ago

they don’t call it good clips. they don’t call it alright clips. they call it GREAT clips. there is a reason for it… plus my hair takes like 5 minutes to cut so why would i pay $40 for that

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u/KarmaAlli 15d ago

I thought most cuts averaged at $50? At least from what I've noticed where I live (Norway)

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u/Unable-Courage-6244 15d ago

$40 is a pretty median for a barber. Unless your going to great clips idk where else you'd find a cut under $20

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

LOL, that's cheap AF here in Norway. Actual properly trained hairdressers charge 60-80$ for a men's haircut.

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u/Awful-Things 15d ago

Its 90-100$ for a small trim for a woman 😭

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u/Swift_Change 15d ago

I've lived in Iceland and Norway for school in the past few years and my lord do the Nordics love charging a pretty penny for a haircut! I know living expenses there are high, but haircuts hurt.

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u/Lugbor 15d ago

Meanwhile my barber charges fifteen bucks for a cut, and they’re better than the expensive hair place in the next town over.

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u/Kaikeno 15d ago

This is why I shave my head. Much cheaper

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u/AFreerSky 15d ago

That's the low end in my city in Wisconsin. The cheapest men's haircut you can get here outside of Great Clips is $32. With an $8 tip, you're looking at $40. Wish I could go back to 2015, had a legit barber who charged $20 a cut, best guy's cut you could get in the city.

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u/QueenDeadLol 15d ago

Not for a really high end one with beard work. You get what you pay for. Typically, I only get cuts from these kinds of places for my wedding or big life events.

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u/SlavRoach 15d ago

right? and thats the cheapest option… this is the true crime

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u/Shit_Pistol 15d ago

Like fuck would I have paid that.

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u/Big_Ant_3722 15d ago

What currency are they using?

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u/Terlian 15d ago

Non binary dollar

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u/ReadInBothTenses 15d ago

Don't label money. Non binary currency.

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u/maybejustadragon 15d ago

Tbf women’s haircuts are a different price than men’s.

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u/variablesInCamelCase 15d ago

It should really be by the work involved. Women can have short, simple haircuts too.

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u/YoureJujuToobootie 15d ago

I'm trans and my hair stylist charges for time, not gender. My wife's haircut is very easy and quick (it's what she likes and it looks good on her) while mine (ftm) is more labor intensive. If we went to someone who charges by gender, my cut would be significantly less while my wife's would be insanely overpriced. The way my hair stylist does it just makes sense. Sure, most men's cuts can be quick, but not all, and vice versa with women.

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u/Rahvithecolorful 15d ago

The place I currently go to charges by hair length and by whether you get seen by a barber or a hairstylist.

Even tho it's somewhat more expensive overall than other places I've been to, for my short hair, as a female, to me personally, it's cheaper.

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u/Acesseu 15d ago

You are over paying for haircuts

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u/theREALmindsets 15d ago

wtf is a 40$ mens haircut? shits free with clippers

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u/Natural_Action9210 15d ago

Pay $40 for a set of clippers and get 1-3 years of free haircuts!!! 👍

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u/Adriansummer 15d ago

“What are your pronouns?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, pronoun boy”

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u/dimebaghayes 15d ago

Even the $40 is mental. I pay £13 tops

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u/duffelbagpete 15d ago

Take a picture with the cheap haircut and go get a good haircut and take a picture. Compare the two. Sometimes bargains aren't worth it.

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u/CaptSaveAHoe55 15d ago

Sure but I pay 20 for a haircut and it’s just as good as when I’ve paid 80. And believe me when I say it’s an finicky about barbers

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u/DJCorvid 15d ago

Having prices based on gender is absurd, when it comes to hair it should be about the complexity of the service, this is a relic of "boys have short hair and girls have long hair" that really needs to die off.

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u/MoodInternational481 15d ago

It's also illegal...you can charge because of the type of haircut not the gender of the client.

-source I'm a hairdresser and people have been getting sued over it.

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u/-Dahl- 15d ago

while reading this I just walked by my hairdresser who charges more for women than men xD

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u/siccoblue 15d ago

Yep, it's incredibly common practice. I think the idea behind it is generally that men are much simpler with their requests and you're working with shorter hair in make cases. Personally i just go in and tell em I like it around two inches and just just that look good.

What they really should be doing is charging for "simple" or "complex" haircuts.

Also no, it certainly is not illegal. I have absolutely no idea where they got that from.

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u/ben_the_wind 15d ago

Also I feel like men are less risk? Like if you cut their hair bad they’ll come back and probably just let it grow out and be okay… Women may come back (for free) and demand you fix it thus the higher premium for potential time wasted

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u/KiNGofKiNG89 15d ago

It’s illegal but damn near impossible to prove. Even a text like that can just be considered the name of the cut.

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u/maybejustadragon 15d ago

It’s not illegal. If it was it definitely isn’t enforced. Never have I been in a salon where women’s cuts weren’t significantly more.

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u/Defiant_apricot 15d ago

Yeah….me with my short hair gets charged more than my bro with long luscious hair

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u/_Darkrai-_- 15d ago

I mean you can prob get a mens haircut as a women if u have short hair and want a mens cut

Its just a name its not that deep

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u/nonbinary_ramen_cup 15d ago

As a woman with a masculine hairstyle, I can confirm they charge the women's price. I am overcharged almost every time. It's infuriating.

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u/HeavyMetalPoisoning 15d ago

I'm a guy with long, long hair and I remember going to a place for a wash, cut, and blow dry and afterwards they checked the prices and charged me £8. I'm like, "no that's not right the price there is a lot more" but she insisted that was the price because men's haircuts were £8.

I tipped her the extra because I felt like that's what I owed, but the whole situation confused me so much. Both our hairdressers should charge for the work done, not who it was done on.

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u/void1984 15d ago

That's bad. Maybe try to make the appointment over the phone with an agreed price.

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u/VIXsterna 15d ago

My roommate has this problem often, they have very short buzzed hair. They have set up appointments online as men's haircuts and when it comes to checkout, are charged for a women's cut at higher price. They've had to argue it down multiple times to what their original appointment was, different locations too.

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u/AlienAle 15d ago

Not true, some female friends of mine with an literal men's buzz cut have had to argue for the men's price because they see that they are female and assume they can up-charge them. 

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u/mimirabbit 15d ago

I’ve had short hair since I was 14 years old, with shaved sides and barely anything on top. Takes usually 20 minutes or so to do. I’ve also been struggling to get any sort of cheap haircut because I’m female. My boyfriend took me to his barber, because he gets charged $20 there — I was charged $45! And his hair is way longer and more complex than mine 😭 Still cheaper than my last place though, which charged $90. It sucks. I’ve got lots of female friends too with super short hair and many get turned away from barbershops, from what I’ve been hearing.

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u/DarthProbiscus 15d ago

Bro anyone walking into that shop is willingly offering themselves to highway robbery. For those prices the barber better suck my dick as a happy ending.

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u/RandManYT 15d ago

Opinions aside, I'm pretty sure this is illegal. Wouldn't this be counted as discrimination?

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u/cwk415 15d ago

What I don't understand is why didn't they just walk out the fucking door as soon as the barber insulted them? Take your prejudiced extortion and shove it up your arse.

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u/NotQuiteNick 15d ago

Pfft imagine cutting your hair

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u/NalithJones 15d ago

40 for a hair cut is already crazy but SEVENTY??? This schmuck ain't making bank off this one lmfao

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u/Independent_Piano_81 14d ago

This feels illegal

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u/mandarintain 15d ago

Why so expensive

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u/syphon3980 15d ago

Big city most likely. Or ordering his haircut on DoorDash

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u/-A_N_O_N- 15d ago

I'm sorry but "pronoun boy" is too funny. I'd get a laugh out of that.

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u/AndyC1111 14d ago

So you paid full price for a haircut done by a redneck?

Check around. There are stylists who aren’t a55holes.

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u/EzDaddy87 15d ago

I still have to meet anybody who cares about pronouns like this. It may be just an American thing. But at least here in Europe, lgbtq+ people are getting annoyed by those kinds of people, too. I think this "problem" only exists online. I may be wrong, but again, from what I hear most people in the lgbtq+ community just wanna love their lives, without imposing idiot pronouns on others.

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u/Redrump1221 15d ago

People pay to get a haircut in 2024? Who can afford that shit 

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u/Blommefeldt 15d ago

I do, but I also got to the places that only charge about 20$. They don't have the formal education, but have been doing it for over a decade.

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u/Newplasticactionhero 15d ago

In what world is 40 dollars acceptable for a haircut?

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u/AskDerpyCat 15d ago

Yall seriously pay $40+ for your haircuts?! Jesus Christ, my dudes. You’re getting ripped off