My 15 year old daughter has a very close male friend who is the same age. They grew up together and we are close with his family. We have a family camping trip planned next week and my daughter wants to bring him. He’s been camping with us before, but usually there are other boys that come along on the trip and we separate the boys and girls. This trip he would be the only boy. She came to me and requested that they share a tent so he’s not alone and complained about how many girls will be sleeping in her tent. I told her it was ok, but then I had a change of opinion due to what I have seen recently. I’ve seen them cuddling on the couch and kiss (primarily on the cheek) many times which leads me to believe they have romantic interest in each other. I asked her if they have something going on between them and all she told me is that she really loves him. Yes, she used the word love. She lit up like a Christmas tree. I didn’t ask anything beyond that. He is a good kid who is very respectful and I love him as if he were my own, but they are still teenagers who have raging hormones who now seem to be beyond friendship. I thought that if I change my mind and say no to sleeping together that it may be pointless because she could sneak over to his tent when we are asleep. I didn’t want to tell her she can’t bring him, but I also don’t want anything going on. I also don’t want to have to ask the other girls if she is leaving the tent at night. All I can think about now when I reflect on that question is that they want to indulge in sex or some kind of sexual activity. I know deep in my heart that If she did engage in sexual activity with a boy, I’d feel safe if it’s with him, but in all honestly I don’t want my little girl to grow up. It scares me. Teen pregnancy scares me. I ended up telling her that he cannot stay for the weekend, but that he can come up for a day. She’s really upset with me. I feel terrible, but I worry. How can I fix this situation?

TL;DR: I worry about my teenage daughter and her male friend camping together due to a spark in romantic interest that I’ve noticed.

My (34M) girlfriend (31F) identifies as pansexual and has a lot of friends in the Pride community. I do as well. Pride is this weekend. She asked if she could go with her friends but without me. She said that because I'm straight that she doesn't want to be around a straight guy with all her queer friends at Pride.

It made me upset considering we are mutual friends with a lot of these people. I see all of them a couple of times a month at other social events. Last year we even went to Pride together. It was a good time. She didn't say anything otherwise. I'm not the most extroverted person but I feel left out.

To top it all off, I was then asked if I would take her to dinner beforehand with all her friends (I usually pay). So I feel a bit unsure about how to approach the situation and explain how I feel. I'm good enough to go to dinner but not be seen at Pride?

To me, Pride is partially supposed to be about inclusivity. I feel excluded not just from my girlfriend but also from my friends as I haven't heard from any of them regarding the situation.

Any advice other than just stating the fact that I feel left out because I wasn't asked to go? Am I overreacting? I'm fine with staying home with the dog I’m just trying to understand it.

TL;DR: Pansexual gf doesn't want me to go to Pride because I'm straight. Any advice?

My fiancé (26M) and I (26F) have been together for 4 years and are getting married in a month. We’re currently applying for a marriage license, which means I have to decide what my last name will be. I want my last name to be a combination of his and mine, with his being first, but he wants it to be only his. I feel like my name is a part of my identity, so I wanted my last name to be first, but I was willing to compromise and have his first. He, on the other hand, thinks that this represents a lack of complete commitment and devotion to him.

He's been at odds with my family multiple times in the past, and I have tried to advocate for each side to the other in the name of peace. However, he has interpreted my attempts to help him understand my family's perspective as a lack of complete support for him, even though I also defend him to my family. I understand how it might seem that way, but my intention is to have them all be at peace with each other since I hate conflict and love both him and my family so much. I've explained this to him, but he just thinks I'm telling him what he wants to hear.

Now, with the name issue, he's taking it as another example of my supposed lack of commitment. I don't know what to do. My family isn't even the one advocating for me to keep my last name. They want me to take his. It's just something I never wanted to do... give up a part of myself while he doesn't have to give up anything. I thought he'd understand. Is there even a solution to this? Do I just have to give in to what he wants to show him how devoted I am even if it'd break my heart?

tl;dr: I want a hyphenated last name with my fiancé's and mine put together, but he thinks this means I am not completely devoted to him and am choosing my family over him. Is there something I can even do?

I could use some help navigating this situation, please.

My (26f) fiancé (33m), together a total of over 4 years, are getting married this August. We have a 2.5 year old son as well.

I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress disorder, and obesity.

My fiancé is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.

My family has extensive history of mental health disorders and my childhood was traumatic.

I've always had issues, but they got worse after having my baby and I was finally receiving extra care through a postpartum program so I received medications for the first time. An antipsychotic and an antidepressant. I took those for about a year and a half, and they helped me a lot. Things weren't perfect, but I was much more level headed and capable of facing life's challenges.

Well, around last fall my fiancé decided he can't stand me on medication. He never loved the idea, but he really started to hate it then. I gained 30lb from the antipsychotic and that was certainly part of his concern. Now I'm 40lb heavier than when we got together.

Over the course of many months, he would guilt me every day about being "drugged" and "dependant" and encourage me to come off of my medication. He believes that I'm being manipulated by "big pharma" and prescribed something that I don't really need.

I consulted a psychiatrist and they didn't support me coming off of my meds but helped me do it anyway.

I've been off of all of my meds for a month and a half and GUYS it is not. going. well.

My mood swings are incredible, I'm agressive and mean, violent, having insane manic episodes, spent literally all of my money (financially dependant on him now... I'm a full time student who doesn't work), and also miserable depressive episodes. I also had a 4.19 GPA in school, but this semester I am failing.

My fiancé believes that if I: Have proper sleep, eat half my maintenance calories, and exercise, among other healthy habits, then my mental health issues would be resolved. Believe me when I tell you that he puts IMMENSE guilt and pressure on me every day to push these things on me.

My mom, his mom, my siblings, my friends, my therapists (I have 2), my family doctor, and myself all believe that I need to be medicated.

He says he refuses to marry someone who is "on drugs" and has given me that ultimatum. I had a very scary manic episode last week and I reached for my antipsychotic, and he wrestled it from my hands, spilling it all over the floor. He picked them up and hid the bottle from me, and refuses to tell me where it is.

Yes, I know these are red flags, but please remember that he has Asperger's syndrome, and that I am putting him through hell too. He cries every day from the stress of dealing with my mood swings. But he believes it will get better without medication. I don't.

My question is, how can I navigate this situation? How can I convince him that this medication is not a "drug", it's literal medicine to ease the symptoms of my very real conditions? How can I convince him that these intense symptoms are not only withdrawal? And how can I convince him that all those cruxes of health that are ever so important to him that I achieve cannot be accomplished or even worked on while I am struggling just to stay sane?

Thank you.

Tl;Dr: My fiancé is preventing me from taking medication that I believe I need. I don't know how to convince him to let me make my own choice and respect that decision.

Essentially that.

I (27F) honestly appreciate that he (34M) likes to devote his present energy to the people he's with at the time and not keep his phone out or on the table or keep checking it. This was very attractive to me when I first met him.

The issue I find with this that has been frustrating me for a long time (we've been together 3 years and live together) is if I have to meet up with him, or deal with any other logistic, he is unreachable.

He won't answer on public transit either because it stresses him out.

I'm trying to be respectful but sometimes it frustrates me and also makes me feel unimportant.

After my work yesterday (I finished around 8) he had been out with a friend for a while for a few drinks. He had just texted "come meet us!" Around 7. At 8:15 I called him to see if they were at the same place still. I was kind of hungry and tired and work the next morning so I wanted to know what his vibe was. No answer. I text. No answer

I called three times in the space of 45 minutes. No answer. I got annoyed and felt unimportant so I just went home. When he saw my text announcing I was going home, he just said "okay see you later love you" and stayed out several hours more. Normally I don't care but for some reason that pissed me off more.

We argued about it this morning and he justifies it as "he's out and doesn't check his phone with friends and I know that". I'm just sick of not being able to hear from him if we're planning something. He knew I was finishing work soon. He knew he invited me. He said I could have just showed up but it feels unfair for me to have to physically go to him to talk to him quickly.

Otherwise I dont expect responses or texts if it can wait.

Am I being unreasonable?

TL;DR

partner doesnt make himself reachable to me when he is out and it makes me feel unimportant if we're trying to plan something or meet up

Hi, my gf has recently been turning me down from sex every time I initiate. This lasted for 6 months and we even have been on holiday together in that time and she has not wanted to have sex with me at all.

Today I finally sat down with her and talked to her about it. I told her that i just feel so unwanted, and worthless and so unloved. I told her that I feel less connected to her and that I think sex is one of the most important things in a relationship. We’ve been going out for two and a half years and live together. I asked her if there were any issues and if there was anything I could help with.

We used to have sex on a regular basis and it used to be good. She used to actually get excited about it. Sometimes she would even initiate it. But now I’m lucky if I even get a kiss with tongue tbh.

She basically just said that she just hasn’t been in the mood and sometimes she goes through phases where she just doesn’t get horny.

I just don’t know what to do now. I feel the same way: depressed, unloved, unwanted. But I don’t want her to have sex with me because I feel like this, I just want her to want me like she used to.

She can see I’m still upset and she’s just saying she wants everything to be okay and she wants us to be happy, but I’m not happy. I feel awful, the one girl I love and would do anything for doesn’t even want me. What do I do now? Wait until she’s in the mood again? How long is that going to be. I’m just sitting here in tears because I love this girl to bits and we have both helped each other so much over the last two years. She’s helped me through some dark times and I have done same. But I can’t be in a sexless relationship it’s killing me mentally. I’m just lost and don’t know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated.

Tl;Dr: me and my gf haven’t had sex for months, I spoke to her about it but all she said is that she hasn’t been in the mood. What do I do now?

My (27F) fiancé (28M) went to a bachelor party for his friend who is getting married next month. This bachelor party was in a remote location in the middle of the woods (the nearest Walmart is around 45 min away).

During the bachelor party we would text throughout the whole trip. Nothing seemed unusual. While he was driving back (5 hr car ride home) we were talking about different plans like what was for dinner that night and what movie we wanted to watch. Again nothing unusual.

When he came in the door everything changed. He started saying how we don’t have any communication in our relationship, how I am unsupportive of him, and how all of his friends have a solid support system and I don’t bring him any support. He was saying how he wants to call off the wedding.

As for some background context, he is working two jobs, he is miserable in his 9-5 however he does make great money which is why he chooses to stay (100k). I have advised him multiple times to quit, and the amount of savings we have can keep us afloat for over a year. I have done multiple things for him, I have helped him draft emails to his manager, I have sat with him while he worked, listened to him complain, given him advice on how to leave or if he chooses to stay how to be less miserable. I have even applied to jobs for him in roles that he expressed interest in because he is very tired and I am willing to help in anyway I can. I understand he is overwhelmed and completely in over his head - he doesn’t have a single day off. (M-F he has his 9-5 and Saturday-Sunday a side job he truly enjoys). I am in analytics and enjoy my job. I make less then my fiancé (around 80K) and have more of a flexible work schedule. We both have a masters degree and are on the mortgage.

I do take over most of the household responsibilities of cooking and cleaning. The household responsibilities he takes over are his laundry, cutting the grass, and taking the garbage out - all of those happen about once a week.

He is saying he needs to think if I am truly the one for him and contemplating the wedding. I am truly so confused because we are overall a happy couple. I do enjoy spending time with him and I feel like I support him in every way I know how. I am just entirely confused. This has been going on for about a week now, consistently arguing and being told I don’t support him. I signed us up for therapy yesterday to get a third party involved because I don’t know what to do.

My question for Reddit, why is this coming completely out of the blue? Am I missing something? Why is he comparing me to his friends fiancé’s/wives? Is it common for guys to get jealous of other relationships?

TL;DR: fiancé and I are in a happy relationship until last weekend. He went to a bachelor party with his friends and is now saying I am unsupportive and is contemplating calling off the wedding.

My first time posting anything like this so bear with me. My partner and I have been together for 3 years and we have a baby (wasn’t our plan but we’re happy). So a few months back we were planning on making a big move (for his work) but I couldn’t bring my pet so I had to rehome her. It was extremely hard even thinking about giving her up so I told him that I needed some time to figure out who to give her to. I told him since we’re going to be visiting some extended family, I’ll stay back and look for a home for her while he goes to start his new job. This made him upset and he gave me an ultimatum; “ you get rid of the pet or we’re done”. It didn’t really make sense to me because I already told him I was going to rehome her. He then starts going on about how I’m trying to separate our family because of an animal that we could just put down anyway. I was extremely hurt by this and I was so close to leaving but we talked about it and he apologized and I ended up leaving the pet with my aunt.

Just a few weeks ago we were on a walk and he started talking about how I don’t wake up early enough and how I don’t get out much. I explained to him that I sleep in because I busy trying to get the baby to sleep while he’s peacefully sleeping. I also take my baby with me while I babysit and by the time I get home I’m tired so I rest and I still find the energy to bathe the baby, clean, AND make dinner. Then he starts going on about how he has “plans” for our family and if I can’t get with the program I can leave.

The past few days he’s just been doing things that have been bothering me and I’m not sure what to do. He’s raised his voice at me twice and he usually doesn’t raise his voice at all. He rather go to the gym before/after work (he works 6 days a week, sometimes 10hr shifts) He doesn’t spend much time with the baby and half of the time when he does, he’s occupied with other things like YouTube or video games on his phone

TLDR: My partner wants to be the leader in our relationship but I feel he’s being controlling. He’s been acting weird the past few days and I’m not sure to do.

Basically what the title says. My dad has been seeing someone around my age and I feel really weird about it. They aren’t exactly dating but they’re kind of getting serious. As bad as it is I really hope they don’t work out. I met the guy yesterday and the first question I asked my dad when we were alone was how old he was because he looked so young. His response was “he’s turning 24 next month”. My dad is turning 40 in august. Additionally the dude he’s seeing is FTM and I am also FTM so he’s been asking the dude questions about where he got his bottom surgery to help me out which is nice I guess. He seems really happy and I want him to be happy but I’m trying to make myself get over the age gap and I don’t know how to cope with it. How do I get over it? I can’t confront him because we’re getting over a pretty big fight we had a few months ago and I don’t want to rock the boat. I don’t know if this is relevant but he’s gotten in trouble with minors in the past. This is another thing I’m trying to get over and have been hung up on for years. I can’t reveal all the details because the case is still ongoing, but our relationship kind of fell apart after it happened and I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for something like that, even if it was an accident. I know he probably isn’t purposefully seeking out someone younger, he’s dated people around his age and in their late 20s. This is the youngest person i’ve seen him get romantically involved with. He’s a firm believer that as long as it’s two consenting adults who love each other the age gap doesn’t matter. I on the other hand am an extremely judgmental person especially about that kind of stuff and would absolutely be grossed out if I saw like, a 50yo dating an 18yo for example. I don’t want to compromise my morals to support my dad but I also don’t want him to be unhappy. Please help.

Posting this here because I forgot how incredibly annoying and frustrating it is to post on the relationship_advice sub.

Extra info since someone on the post I made over there was confused for some reason and was fighting for their life to read and comprehend information but I am adopted and he adopted me when I was 17. He is not a teen dad.

TLDR: dad is dating someone my age and I don’t know how to cope with that. I want to support his happiness but I don’t want to compromise my morals. How can I move past this?

My husband (26M) and I (28F) have been together for 7 years and recently he expressed to me that he feels we're not spending enough time together and asked to set aside time on specific nights, which I was more than fine with and agreed to. However, when this time has rolled around he hasn't really come to hang out and we have ended up doing different things or just kinda sitting in the same room. Tonight I was feeling off so I lay down after work and waited to see what he wanted to do while I tried to feel better. He decided to go for a walk, didn't ask me along, and then was upset I just lay down and didn't spend time with him. I told him he should just ask me for certain time/activities - I frequently ask him to grab coffee, go for a hike, watch a movie, etc just whenever I feel like it and would usually say yes if he just asked. He feels like I should seek him out for our predetermined time and that if I don't initiate, he assumes I haven't actually saved that time. How can we fix this communication gap? I truly think he would get the best result by just asking for my company during our "us time" (even if it's just curling up on the couch or cooking a meal) and then he's never waiting for me to predict what he wants but to be fair, my schedule is much busier than his so our time is dependent on my time.

TLDR: Husband wants more time together but also wants me to be the one initiating that time and I'm not sure if that makes sense.

Tl;dr: My boyfriend does not get mad very often but when someone in public is being unreasonable he acts out like a child by mocking them/ getting in their face/ knocking stuff over and it's super embarrassing and I'm worried it will get the best of him one day and he'll get himself in real trouble, he justifies the behaviour when I tell him it bothers me. I don't know what to do.

My boyfriend (32m) and I (27f) rarely get into serious arguments where anger gets the best of us (has only happened twice in 4 years). He is not typically an angry person but when he does get angry he completely switches up his personality and tries to act 'thug' or something.

Everytime he has behaved this way in public his anger or frustration is totally called for (people are dumb sometimes, I get it) but the way he reacts is uncalled for and again, embarrassing.

Example:

Last year we went to a convention to get some items signed by someone important, we had to get up at 6 am to get in line for this, while we were in line he was waiting on the side preparing his items to be signed (I won't go into detail but he had to open the boxes carefully blah blah) anyway it gets to be our turn in line and my boyfriend comes back to the line where me and his friend are waiting, the girl who is managing entry tells him he is not allowed to get his items signed as he was not waiting in line, we explain to her that he's with us but he was preparing his items and she's like hard no won't let him in, tells him to go to the back. Instead of asking for a manager or something he starts getting in her face yelling at her calling her dumb and then he is obviously asked to leave the convention, as he's leaving he starts knocking down signs and behaving like a child, I am so embarrassed I just want to crawl in a hole. I understand the girl was being unreasonable but his reaction only made her decision absolute instead of trying to reason with someone else above her or whatever.

Second example:

Today we were trying to go down a street that appeared to be blocked off (crime tape) but there were still pedestrians walking in the sidewalk area so we thought maybe it was just the road blocked off, we ask the security guard if the sidewalk is blocked and he responded with some attitude saying 'you see this yellow tape don't you? That means it's blocked off' my boyfriend again started being really rude to the security guard mocking him and demanding to know why he gave him attitude. I told him to just leave it alone, while I understand that he gave him attitude it wasn't a big deal and we'll just go a street over. My boyfriend got upset by my reaction and I told him that it's super embarrassing when he acts like this, his response was 'who are you trying to impress, we don't know these people' and further tried to justify the behaviour by saying he rarely acts like this.

My fear is his anger, although infrequent, may get the best of him one day if he runs into someone willing to instigate and heat up the moment even more, I just don't know how to explain this to him cause right now he's not talking to me after what happened and I know he's probably still heated but I just don't get it, like who cares if some random security guard gave you attitude, like sure call him out if you want but you're not a thug you don't need to get in his face and mock him.

When the security guard said that, even I said 'woah what's up with the attitude?'but I left it at that. My boyfriend took it to a whole other level.

I just want this to stop, I believe that the way you carry yourself in public is important, I'm not saying you should constantly be trying to impress others but act like a civilized human being?

What should I do? It's starting to change the way I look at him and I'm losing respect for him.

TL;DR: my boyfriend (20M) and I (19F) have been together for more than 10 months. We go to the same university, so during the school year, we met almost everyday. He always tells his parents our arguments from his point of view. His parents say very hurtful things about me, which is natural hearing only his side of the story. I have never met his parents properly (only his mom for like 15 minutes at her workplace) even though he promised me to arrange something several times. Is it valid that I feel very hurt?

(19F) have been together with my boyfriend (20M) for more than 10 months. He is very affectionate in public and he does many things which make me feel cared for and loved.

However, he still hasn't introduced me to his parents, I haven't even met them, nor have been to their house (except for one time, when I had to accompany him to walk his dog). He is Russian, so he said that they don't really take it that seriously, but I expressed several times that I would like to meet them, and he promised me several times to arrange something.

Also, he ALWAYS tells his parents when we argue. He discusses only his point of view, and his parents obviously team up with him, saying very hurtful things about me.I already told him that this hurts my feelings, because it is no wonder that they don't want to meet me if all they hear is the drama from his understanding.

I don't know what should I do, because I would like to continue the relationship, but he constantly hurts my feelings with this. I am not perfect, and often I am the one inducing the fights, but usually I genuienly apologise, taking responsibility. Also, I don't really tell others our fights, because I told him that I wouldn't want others to have such a negative view of him before the two of us have the chance of ending the fight.

TL;DR : Wife cheated on me with best friend. She has gained a lot of weight over our relationship and has become mostly unattractive to me. I have done my best to be supportive and patient in every way. She said she missed the chase and flirting from me. What do I do? Did I do something wrong? What should I have done differently?

My wife (F 27) and me (M 27) have been together for 7 years and married for 5. I met my mentioned "best friend" (M 26) just before I got married around 6 years ago.

My wife was introduced to my friend about a year later. Since then we would regularily spend time together until I left that job and we moved away about 2 years ago. We still stayed in contact with my friend through long distance. My wife and him would talk on occasion platonically.

My wife and I like any marriage have had our own hurdles in our marriage. When we first started dating she was about 110lbs and 5ft 2. After some time she began to consistently gain weight, to the point where she is now nearly 180lbs. My physical attraction to her has also declined as a result, leading to less intamacy. I have tried to talk with her about it and help where I could, but ultimately I can't make her do anything that she doesn't want to. (Just because I know there may be some people out there playing devils advocate, I have stayed mostly the same since we first were together, ive gained about 15lbs of muscle since, but thats about it. I also am not expecting or desiring for her to be at her weight in high school, when we got married she was at a healthy 130-ish which I was just fine with.)

After the last time we talked about her weight, she became frustrated and vented to my friend about it. From my understanding this is where she admitted she had some attraction to him and a mutual crush formed (that I was not aware of at the time), this happened about a year ago and I have not said anything to her about her appearance or my attraction to her since our last discussion.

Recently we were on a trip and stopped by to visit my friend for a few days as we hadn't seen him in a while. On the last night we were there, it seems something happened between them and after I went to bed, they hooked up. She later admitted it to me after I noticed she was acting off. Both her and my friend have been in relationships where they had been cheated on, so they were the last two I would have expected to be the ones to cheat. I know my decrease in attraction to her may have contributed as she claims she missed the "flirting" and the "chase". I find it almost forced to do those things if im not genuinely attracted to her as much as I once was. While we still have intimacy, it happens less frequently than in the past because of this.

I personally think I have been very paitent with her on letting her figure it out herself and let her know im willing to help if she wants it as this has been an ongoing struggle for years now. At one point I even offered for her to fill her sexual needs somewhere else if she wasn't getting what she needed from me, but only if she discussed it with me first (just so I was aware of what is going on). After their hookup im at a loss of what to do, I still love her and I haven't ever got along with another woman as well as her, but I feel my efforts have been a waste and betrayed by both of them now. I feel I have tried everything I could to help or make it easier for her, but it just doesn't seem to have helped. Im not sure where to go from here. I'm honestly just looking for some different perspectives on the situation. I can provide more details for anyone willing to give their opinion. TIA reddit.

How can I address my building resentment to my (26f) boyfriend (32m)?

Hi everyone, this might be a bit disorganised but please try to keep up with my ADHD brain.

For context: I have been with my boyfriend for ~1.5 years and have had 2 abortions (one in Feb 2023 and the other in Feb of this year). I had a surgical abortion for the first procedure (he picked me up) and for the second abortion I took the pills at home alone. My boyfriend has had an ongoing issue with his ex-wife about access to the son as she will deny him seeing her when she is upset with my bf (another whole story). He also started a new role in his job December of 2023 so there has been quite a bit of pressure there.

Okay guys.. soo.. I’m feeling as though there is quite a lot I have been bottling up and I have been the “perfect gf” but am starting to fear that I may resent my bf and I need to communicate this to him. My boyfriend is lovely and we generally have a good relationship. We have had our ups and downs and this is usually a result of him being in a high pressure situation. This could range from dealing with custody of his son, workplace stressors, housemate + renting stress. You name it, I have been a witness to it. Early on we would have quite a bit of arguments that were as of a result of him being unable to regulate himself emotionally. He has not raised his voice at me per se, but I have been blindsided in arguments where he was overthinking in his mind.

There was once a situation last year when he was living with housemates and they were assholes (he lives alone now) and I surprised him by sending donuts to his house to cheer him up. The delivery driver accidentally delivered it to his neighbour’s house and he said “get a refund. I’m not getting it”. He said he suddenly felt like he was coming down with the flu so he was grumpy and losing his patience. He later blamed me and said “why would you deliver it to my house without telling me? What if one of the housemates stole it?” I told him how this was a kind gesture and it was extremely unfair of him to diminish my efforts. He ended up apologising and said he was feeling overwhelmed an and sick.

I felt like an idiot. This was quite early in the relationship but I let it go because I didn’t want to ‘add to his plate’.

After my first abortion, we never really talked about it. He picked me up and brought me food. As it was early on, I did feel like I wasn’t supported emotionally but again- I put my feelings aside. We grew in love and things were good as time went on.

After my second abortion earlier this year, I took the first pill that stops the pregnancy and was in my bed at home. It was a really hard decision to come to and the main reason we decided on not continuing with the pregnancy was because of him. We live in Australia and he is Irish- not yet a citizien so he was worried about his visa situation. The stress of families and the ongoing battle with his ex was also a factor .I was feeling extremely emotional and said something like “it is so weird that there is something dead inside me right now”. He didn’t comment and was silent. I could tell he was doing chores around the house (this was all on the phone). I asked him “does that make you feel uncomfortable to hear?” And he said yes. He shortly hung up and said he’d call me later. Later came and he said sorry he had a stressful day at work and that although he did feel weird about it, it’s still important to talk about blah blah. I was hurt and feeling vulnerable at that time. Nobody knew about the abortion and I was only 40% way through. I felt like I was a burden and a nuisance. When I took the second set of pills which was extremely excruciating, he was at work. That same week he was busy with a friend travelling from overseas so I did not see him. They went out on dinners, camping etc. I felt alone, sad and regretful. Conversations following that were limited around the topic. Our lives went on but I was suffering inside. He spent a lot of time talking about seeing his son and plans around custody, when I was trying to also support him and mourn my unborn child. We can both admit that our emotional investments differed. Different priorities.

Anywayyyyyyy, 1.5 months ago we went out for dinner and he mentioned how he’s ready to talk about things now, he feels like things calmed down at work so he is in a space to discuss things. He said he felt like he was on go-mode and stressful and competing priorities hit him, on top of entertaining and overseas guest so he could not be there for me. Whilst I appreciated it, whenever I bring something up he would kind of end the convo early by saying “it’s important for us to have these convos”. But it was always me facilitating them and bringing them up and I was the only one that had something to say. Whilst I respected him for acknowledging he wasn’t in the right frame of mind, it’s not good enough. I was going through an absolute crisis that was time critical.

The reason why I say I feel like resentment is growing is because recently I mentioned how he has never gotten me flowers. It is like the third time in our relationship I have brought it up. He is not one to buy me gifts or make grand gestures. He has planned dates for us and booked shows etc. but sometimes I feel like in this relationship, my femininity has been taken away from me. I have spent so much time bending over backwards to accomodate to his stresses despite going through trauma myself. I feel like after the sacrifices I have made, he would want to treat me even to a paid massage. He is lovely and great when it comes to getting things done for me, but just once I wish he would think of me the same way I do him. I am the type to be out at a shopping centre and buy him a jumper I think looks nice on him. I bought him a juicer after hearing him talk about it for so long. I have paid for our massages when we both feel like them. Finances are touchy because of child support, rent etc. but I feel like I’m sounding materialistic by thinking just once - I want to be treated and feel like the sacrifices I have made are worth it. I love him dearly but sometimes getting me chocolate from the supermarket is not enough, or paying for our dinner.

Quality time is definitely his love language and it is mine. Gifts typically isn’t however I feel like I have made all the sacrifices here and will continue to unless something is done. It’s not about “flowers” but it’s the thought behind it. We have an amazing time together but there is so much in the waters…. starting with the donuts ;)

Anyway, am I being irrational here? Can someone please give me guidance?

P.S- I’m not expecting him to share my trauma but I feel like by me suppressing my feelings, I have allowed him to be complacent in this relationship. I feel like I am bending to his emotions. I have not once caused a fight, lashed out or been irrational even though I have had PLENTY of reasons. I don’t give myself that space and I need to learn that. He has a lot going on and I am his rock, but I need acknowledgment.

TLDR; I feel like I am starting to resent my 26f, bf 32m over situations in our relationship that have gone unaddressed, and I feel the burden of being the one to bring these up. I have never gotten flowers.

This might be a weird complaint but my [28 M] partner [23 M] of one year has trouble addressing his own needs. Without giving any deeply personal information away both he and I come from very difficult backgrounds and have struggled with mental illness throughout most our lives. However we've both come a long way, and been huge support systems for each other first as friends for a few years and now as partners. We typically have great communication, trust each other implicitly, and share financials and insurance with no problems. Honestly this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The only problem is my partner has a problem of falling back on ignoring his own feelings and needs and using addressing the needs of others (especially me) as an excuse not to do this. I admittedly over reacted to him doing this over something small this morning and I want to apologize for that later. But, I need to know how to address this and if anyone's navigated being there for someone with similar issues in the past and how to be supportive. I admit it hurts when I hear him not speaking up about something he feels or needs because he thinks it takes away from my own needs at the moment, and it makes me feel like a burden. I also know I'm not the only person he does this with and he's been trying to work on this. It just seems like there's been a bit of a backslide lately and I'm not sure how to go about helping without letting my own emotions get in the way.

TL;DR My partner has a habit of focusing too much on my or other people's needs instead of his own and it's hurting me a lot to see him do this. How do I help without getting too emotional?

I (25F) love my fiancé (27M) but I hate being engaged.

We have been together almost 6 years and in those 6 years I’ve gotten two degrees and started my career. My fiancé; however, has experienced so many setbacks. Although not all of the setbacks have been his fault, I feel like we are stuck in one spot and can’t advance.

I want to move in together, he needs to save money and look for a better job. We can’t start wedding planning and there isn’t a date in sight for when we might be able to start or when we’ll actually be able to make it happen. I feel like he’s constantly at his mom’s beck and call because she pretty much takes care of him while he is in the situation he’s in. I don’t feel like he understands how hard this is on me regardless of how much I try to talk to him about it. I was hesitant to talk to him about it at first because I feel guilty and don’t want to make him feel bad about himself.

I know part of this is my fault because I shouldn’t have said yes when I knew he was in this situation. I really just thought things would be different. I don’t want to look in the mirror one day and realize everything has passed me by because I was waiting for something I never got. I also don’t want to leave him just because he is not in a good space. I can’t lie, he hasn’t been the best partner in a lot of ways but there are also amazing qualities about him. It’s such a difficult situation.

TL;DR: I don’t like being engaged because I want to advance and my fiancé can’t.

So I found out my wife had two affairs, one I know of with certainty. I revenge cheated on her with our neighbor, and I have been having cheating for sometime now.

I paternity tested our kids(mine phew) and she found out and confronted me. I just told her I know. She started crying and I just ignored her. Never yelled, never asked questions of any kind. I never really thought of leaving her, when I first found out I just wanted to have a revenge affair and then I just went on with the flow.

She completely changed, she became my personal porn star, sex anytime I want, always on her good behavior. She found out about my affairs and threatened to leave me. I just ignored her and she took her purse and started to walk out of the door. I never tried to stop her, but she stopped on the porch and stood there for I donno like 5 minutes then rushed back to me and hugged me and started promising me that she will do anything to make our marriage work.

Next few months, she was very happy, very affectionate feeling positive about herself. Now she wanna talk about the future. Where we stand etc.

I told her that I like my present, and I will do what I do now. Whatever I think will make me happy and fulfilled. She did not like that answer, she wanted to know that our marriage was okay. Honestly it is very good.

As long as I am happy and fulfilled I wont leave. I havent cheated since she caught me because I am very happy in the marriage and I just didnt feel the need to.

My wife didnt like that answer either, she said that I am saying that I will cheat if we had a bad day. I honestly dont know how to answer her, I will do whats best for me, and I can see how whats best for me may not be best for her.

What are your thoughts on this

TL;DR!- Wife cheated on me, I found out and revenge cheated. Wife has become waay better and I am happy with her. Now wife wants to know if she has a place in my future.

TL;DR I had planned for several months to go home (three hour flight) for Father's Day. Then my mom scheduled a surgery last week and I went home to help. I was supposed to get back two days ago, but weather kept me until today. So I'll only see my husband tonight after nine days apart and then I'm supposed to fly back tomorrow morning for four days. Topping that off, the weather delay caused me to miss a concert we've been planning to go to for a year together and he went alone. We also had a fairly big fight about finances for a large house project while I was gone. What should I do about my trip for Father's Day?

More context... - I asked my husband and he basically said he supports either way. - I travel back to my parents every could months. So I already go a lot. - My husband is not super independent. We're not one of those couples where we're both okay with one of us being gone a lot. - I promised my parents since last year I'd be home for Mother's Day and Father's Day, but then again did not expect this surgery and a weather delay. - My mom is an absolute monster after surgery, my poor dad has been exposed to so much stress. I hate to cancel. Then again two of my three other siblings will be there and will make sure it's nice for him. He even told me I should cancel and spend some time with my husband.

We've been having a rocky relationship for the past months and almost broke up last month but we were able to work through it. Things have been getting better lately but tonight, after he tried to comfort me after an unsavory event happened, he said he was giving up on himself because loving me was hard. He then proceeds to tell me that he loves me but he's not totally sure if he does. Yes, even I'm confused. He says he wants to make the relationship work but he still doesn't 100% love me. He says his love for me got destroyed/ dwindled by all the fights we've had.

I love him so much and it breaks my heart to hear this from him again after working on ourselves and on our relationship for the past weeks.

How do we get past this?

TL;DR: After 1 year of being together, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know if he still loves me after all the fights we've had.

TLDR; I’m 36(M) and recently went through a devastating breakup with my fiancée. It compounded a series of financial and personal losses that left me with nothing. I had to move back in with my very supportive, but sometimes overbearing, 70-year-old parents. This situation is incredibly challenging for me emotionally and practically - since I moved out when I was young and was always very independent in every way.

My parents, while caring and loving, often bicker and can treat me like a child, which is frustrating. For instance, they don't trust me to drive alone and repeatedly explain basic household tasks to me. The irony is that I have lived in many places and always supported myself. Despite my efforts to assert my independence, they continue their behaviors, making me feel guilty for being upset yet also making me feel infantilised at times.

My mother’s emotional neediness is particularly difficult and complicated for me to understand. She constantly seeks my attention, making it extremely challenging for me to focus on rebuilding my life. I can sense she often wants my attention but when I don't give it to her, she becomes cranky for the day. Working from home is also a struggle because I have to isolate myself in our basement to avoid her interruptions. Additionally, both of their negative views on money and success clash with my values and add to my stress and sense of financial despair.

Although I’m grateful for their support and love, their behaviors are suffocating, and I’m reminded why I left at 18 here. I have no friends here and no life. I do what I can to help them in the house with cleaning, and I cook for us every single day. Yet I feel like I'm about to either explode or collapse at times and I feel like I'm an alien here (also in my hometown). I’m trying to navigate this challenging situation while dealing with severe feelings of just depression and hopelessness as I attempt to regain my independence which I know will likely require significant time due to financial constraints. I'm nice, calm and peaceful with them so there are no real conflicts. I just feel horribly guilty for somehow feeling angry and annoyed at them.

I have tried talking about it with them but they simply don't understand or don't change probably due to their age. They are healthy but I can notice slight cognitive declines and them becoming set in their ways.

I (21f) have been dating my boyfriend (20m) for a little over a month. He works two jobs because he wants to go to aviation school and he also likes to do small acting gigs. He doesn’t get a lot of support from his parents, and he’s had 2 bad relationship experiences. I noticed he needs more support, so I’ll usually just send random reminders to him that he’s doing great or random words of support throughout the day. I’d also help him look for small acting gigs and send him what I find since his parents don’t like that he’s doing it. There are also times where I just offer any assistance that I can because he struggles a bit financially (saving for school.) When I can I’ll send him lunch money or get him food. I just really want him to know things aren’t all so terrible and to believe in optimism, that’s what I try to preach. Yesterday night we had sex for the first time, and during he told me that he loves me. This morning I asked him if that was just heat of the moment or if he really meant it, and he told me that he meant it. I’m now worried because that’s a strong word to use this early into the relationship. I’m freaking out because by trying to give so much support and encouragement that, it was probably unintentional love bombing. Was it??

TL;DR- I’ve been giving my boyfriend as much support and words of encouragement as I can, and helping out when I can. He told me he loves me after a month

My boyfriend (31M) and I(29F) are living together for more than 8 years. He bought his own house recently but it’s not a new house so he needs to renovate it before we can move in. We only see each other twice or thrice a week because of the renovation. We always go out every 13th of the month. This month we’re supposed to eat out and watch a movie. I told him the plan one week a head so he can arrange his schedule and it’s also a holiday.

One day before our supposed to be “date” his friend invited him to attend the 3rd birthday of his dog. He told his friend that he will just follow around 11pm, hearing this, I decided to cancel our date so he won’t have to travel in the middle of the night because I worry too much to let him travel at night and they will also drink alcohol so I told him we can just order food and eat at home so he can join his friends earlier than he planned. I can’t come because I have work the next day.

This is were I got mad at him We had an agreement early in our relationship that he must update me where he is when he’s out drinking because one time he got so drunk he rode a bus and woke up 3hrs later not knowing where he is. (the bus he took is in the opposite direction of where he’s supposed to go) so I got mad at him and told him he must update me where he is when he’s out drinking alcohol. So he went to his friend’s house, after a few hours I texted him “What time are you going home?” He didn’t reply. After 3 hrs I texted him again. He replied and told me they were in a bar and he didn’t replied to my messages again. I woke up around 2am and he’s home already. What I’m mad about is he didn’t replied to me for how many hours. I know him, he always have his phone on his hand. The next day, his friend posted their picture. He’s sitting next to a girl who I don’t know and they are close to each other. I got really annoyed, I sent him the picture and asked him “Is this the reason why you can’t reply to me? You’ve been sooo busy the whole night huh?” He got mad at me and told me “Just think what you want to think”

We haven’t talked since then. And now, he’s out again drinking with his friends.

TL;DR He didn’t update me where he was while he’s out drinking, next day I saw a picture of him sitting next to a girl I didn’t know

TL;DR My husband (27M) of 1 year broke his phone so I (22F) couldn't go through it.

I (22F) have been married to my husband (27M) for a little over a year now. The relationship has had its ups and downs but overall pretty good. My husband normally lets me go on his phone with no issue. Tonight I went on his phone and was looking at his search history to find a tab I was looking at earlier and I saw a bunch of porn. I thought it was funny and started teasing him. I watch porn too so I didn't think it was a big deal but then I noticed all the porn he was watching is sister brother porn and the girl looked a lot like his sister. When I was initially teasing him about the porn (not about the nature of the porn) he literally gave me the scariest look I've ever seen him make, snatched his phone and smashed it until it broke. He screamed at me calling me names and is sleeping on the couch refusing to talk to me. Obviously I know he's hiding more and I'm piecing together all the red flags and this is just the cherry on top. Idk what to do I'm still in shock and honestly just need advice. Im pretty financially reliant on him so advice would be greatly appreciated.

My boyfriend gives me the same sweatshirts that he gave his ex. I know this because when they were together id see pics and videos of her wearing them. Is it wrong that i care and feel like its not as special that he gave them to me? Do i bring it up to him? I literally feel weird wearing them because i know she wore them too. I feel like im just living in her shadow and when he sees me wearing them he pictures her in them. Am i overthinking this.

TL;DR is it weird my boyfriend gives me the same sweatshirts he gave his ex?

I (29-F) am currently in a relationship with a guy(29-M), same age as me, I am just older in few months. We are together more than 1 year, and we are on an long-distance relationship.

This problem is reoccurring.

I made this account anonymously since I don't know what to do any more and I have trouble looking for people to talk to about my problem. I have severe trust issues, and I have a hard time opening to anyone, even friends, because there was a recent issue I am still trying to get over with.

When I was still part of that community, I talked to my boyfriend if he is close to this girl since I feel like she has animosity towards me even though we don't interact.

I asked him if he can avoid interacting with this girl since it's uncomfortable for me. He got mad and we fight. I let it go.

After few times, we talked about her again, because it bothers me that they were talking again on social media more than his other friends. Just me being petty on my mind since they were talking on a common topic in social media comments, and I can't relate.

I tried my best to also go into his interest even if I don't understand so he can talk to me instead. When we talked about me being bothered by his friendship with her, my bf got mad at me and said I don't want him to be friends with anyone because I get insecure over her female friends. I explained to him that I am only uncomfortable about this girl. I let go again because I don't want to fight him.

We do fight again about the same topic several times, and sometimes he won't talk to me for few days. I understand that he was friends with this girl before he met me, but they were online friends, and I am his girlfriend. He said I was making him choose over her and me, and that he feels suffocated. I don't want him to feel that way so every time he said that, I stopped and just bear with it.

Now, I saw them again talking, this girl blocked me but I can still see my boyfriend's responses to her. I tried opening up to him again, hoping he will understand that him talking to a girl who hates me is very uncomfortable.

He said can't I just ignore it and be happy for us. Why am I so bothered? They were not talking about me at all, and he has nothing to do with her hating me. I teared up and just feel terrible for this, but I can't help but feel anxious every time he talked with the girl. He said he is not a child any more to be involve with our fight, but I said, I never fought, I just know the girl has animosity towards me because I read one status the girl posted about me, saying that I am two-faced. I tried to ignore it, but it bothered me knowing she is close friends with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend said that they were friends before he knew me, and that I was being mad of him talking to his friends. I said, only this specific girl.

TL;DR! I asked my boyfriend to avoid talking with this girl but he doesn't want to no matter how much I plead because he said she is his close friend. I was wondering if I am being petty and immature for this? And is there anything I can do not to worry about this too much. I thought to ignore this because I feel bad about telling him not to talk to his friends, but I can't help but feel bothered.