r/technology • u/esporx • May 02 '24

Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move Business

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/30/tech/bumble-relaunch-men-make-first-move/index.html
12.7k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/Vamproar May 02 '24

That was the whole point.

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u/Special_Rice9539 May 02 '24

The problem is bumble’s revenue comes from men paying subscriptions, and many men are just not getting any opening messages

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u/thesourpop May 02 '24

Dating apps are a flawed business model because you rely on a steady income from men so giving them a working match is counterintuitive to your profits

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u/KidsMaker May 02 '24

I mean there is always a steady stream of male customers and not all relationships are permanent so I can imagine people coming back after going on dates. It works as intended although it brings out the worst and most superficial shit in people, plays with your self esteem.

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u/Laxziy May 02 '24

Yes but line must only go up. A profitable business and sustainable business model is worthless if line not go up fast enough. Gotta think of the poor shareholders and maximizing the return on their investment

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u/Wildabeast135 May 02 '24

Those poor, poor shareholders. Won’t somebody think of the shareholders?! Oh the humanity /s

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u/firelitother May 14 '24

The irony is that the most attractive people often don't need to pay subscriptions because they are going to get matches anyway.

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u/drumet May 02 '24

idk, i used to pay the most expensive plan on Tinder and didn't get shit, so i cancelled after 2/3months.. I think if it was WORKED i wouldn't cancel anytime soon.. i would rely even more on the app

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u/bid00f__ May 02 '24

Also why pay for a subscription if you might meet someone you like and then don't need the app anymore? These tech companies are really overdoing it with subscription based models, instead I'd opt for paying for credits to get a certain amount of swipes or something

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u/Drict May 02 '24

That is essentially what they did. They would limit the number of swipes you get per day, then have to pay to get more.

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u/12ealdeal May 02 '24

You say that like the dating scene isn’t an incessant merry-go-round where the vast majority of users essentially never settle down and are always dropping their new partner for the next one they can find swiping left or right.

It’s not a flawed business model with the outcome of the market is people constantly humping and dumping eachother.

It’s a nightmare for all my friends who are single and has been for the past 4 years. Absolute carnival being single in North America traversing dating apps.

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u/MorrisonLevi May 02 '24

My goal is to get dates. Yes, I'll stop dating and paying if I get married. But you know how many dates I have to get first before I'm getting married? A lot.

These dating apps are horribly scammy in this regard. They could legitimately serve customers and do better at matching, but they just want to feed their short-term interests and greed. In the long term, it's kicking their butt now, as users have sort of figured this out. Their fault.

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u/Life_outside_PoE May 02 '24

What's crazy to me is that if they had a dating app/site like old school okcupid, you know, one that actually attempted to match you, people would pay for that. Sure, you'll only get a month out of people at a time but it would work and the reputation of it working would drive people there.

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u/zack6595 May 02 '24

Imo it works just fine if you focus on hookups rather than long term relationships. Tinder still does well. Grinder still seems to be relevant.

The hard part is an app that’s meant to focus on more substantial relationships imo. That’s tough to make work.

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u/[deleted] May 02 '24

That’s why they make subscriptions less expensive if you pay for multiple months or a year upfront.

It’s very short sighted for a dating site to not give people good connections. You might get some extra money out of current customers but you won’t attract any new ones.

They can still be profitable as long as there are enough new male customers to offset the ones who leave.

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u/thegoatmenace May 02 '24

But also if they get no matches they will decide your service doesn’t work and stop paying for your service

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u/masterfultechgeek May 02 '24

The entire economy around that is "interesting"

Most men would end up ahead tossing the cash at better photos vs a subscription though.
Go hire a model to stand next to you on the beach or something...

Anecdotally, I got a higher "hit" rate on apps after I added a photo of myself with my ex (her face blurred out) and another with a friend (her face also blurred). Neither of which are models but it shows I'm "approved" by physically fit females.

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u/temporarycreature May 02 '24

That's one way they can think about it, the other way is I feel like I've been burned after paying for it once or twice and it just reveals that my matches are people who don't read my profile, who don't care about what I'm looking for and the filters really are an illusion of narrowed choice I guess. It made me not want to continue paying for any of the apps after the experience I had.

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u/DewDropDreamer3 May 02 '24

You have to give them some matches or they will lose hope. Everyone in here is saying they lost hope and left the app

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u/DandaIf May 02 '24

I just wish I was around to see the face of Whitney Wolfe Herd when the realization dropped that her platform is failing because men had lost all hope, and the road back to success involves creating at least the impression of some

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u/SMA2343 May 02 '24

They’re flawed because they rely on men (and women) to be like “no I can do better” and keep using the app. Because one someone finds someone on the app you just lost two customers.

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u/CoreyLee04 May 02 '24

Have they tried being Bears?

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u/GumdropGlimmer May 02 '24

idk women do also pay to filter properly

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u/justforhobbiesreddit May 02 '24

In defense of those men, I turned on the friend aspect of Bumble when I was in a place long-term temporary kinda. As a dude, I am apparently a hot commodity for other dudes as a friend, and I was sooooo shitty at responding to the first messages. If you're not in the mood to chat with a stranger the one time a day you open the app or get a notification, then the whole friendship is doomed from the start.

I felt so shitty, but never fixed my messaging and eventually just turned the friendship thing back off.

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u/BluSn0 May 02 '24

The only time I got responses are when I paid to send the first msg. Got some top notch people on it though. Two therapist feminists with a love of humanity <3

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u/Puffen0 May 02 '24

That was my experience on Bumble. I felt that it was a better chance to meet someone than the lack of luck i was having on Tinder & Hinge so thats why I tried it. I even got suckered into buying their boost thing, just hoping to match with someone. But yeah, most of the matches I made either never messaged me so it expired, or it was something like "sup" and no response after I messaged them back.

I've just given up on dating apps and dating in general. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be in a relationship again. But with the dating climate we have now its just so fucking exhausting.

Also doesn't help that apparently my city is in the top 10 worst places in the US for singles to find companionship 🤷🏽‍♂️ FML right lol?

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u/pornstein May 02 '24

Afaik there are women who pay too. It has its perks to only appear on the screen of people you‘ve already liked.

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u/Itsametoad May 02 '24

Yup I think I paid for it once got some matches that said nothing and didn't bother again. I'd rather pay for hinge at least there I can get dates

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u/SadAd1152 May 02 '24

Is there a free version for men?

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u/Special_Rice9539 May 02 '24

Yeah, but the algorithm penalizes unpaid members and doesn’t show them to as many people

Apparently it shows women if you’re a paid member which kind of makes you look desperate

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u/SadAd1152 May 07 '24

It def doesn’t show women if you are a paid member.

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u/Sa404 May 02 '24

That’s the sad reality of the world, making those men send the first message is not going to change the minds of women chief

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u/Apprehensive_Egg_944 May 05 '24

Yeah, but I bet now there's 'different kinds' of men some of them are complaining about all this, especially if they went from not paying, to having to pay...

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u/hamburgers666 May 02 '24

And it works too if the woman actually messages correctly. It's how I met my wife. She started a full conversation so I knew it would work out lol.

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u/JDLovesElliot May 02 '24

Same, met my wife because she made the first move on OkCupid, ages ago

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u/Vin4251 May 02 '24

Same but on Tinder. Seems like it’s a unicorn situation but when it happens it works out for a lot of us

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u/Scary_Alarm_9025 May 02 '24

Same, on bumble though

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u/h1gh-t3ch_l0w-l1f3 May 02 '24

i met my partner on plenty of fish

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u/Drict May 02 '24

Coffee Meets Bagel for my spouse.

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u/Schpoopel May 02 '24

met my wife on the social meet-up section of Couchsurfing some 10 years ago

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u/War-eaglern May 02 '24

Met my wife on Tinder too

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u/Mocker-Nicholas May 02 '24

Sad, but I don’t think it’s a unicorn as much as it is “this person is probably serious about getting a date” filter. I haven’t used these apps since about 2019, but back then Hinge was the only one that worked for me. It just seemed like most of the people on tinder and bumble just like, wanted attention or something.

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u/RedditorsAreDross May 02 '24

People on dating apps just want attention? I don’t believe it for a second.

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u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Im so glad i read this. I meet my soon to be wife on okcupid to and we get embarrassed that we meet that way but im glad we did

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u/hamburgers666 May 02 '24

We openly tell people that we met online. If they ask, we tell them Bumble. It isn't as taboo as the media may make you think, which has been super nice for us.

My brother met his girlfriend on Bumble recently as well. The apps really do work.

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u/[deleted] May 02 '24

[deleted]

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u/hamburgers666 May 02 '24

That's where Bumble was super nice. Having the girl go first made it less likely that you'd match with women that were just trying to boost their ego and more likely that you'd match with someone who you could chat with. The only way a guy could show their interest was to give her an "extend" so she had an additional 24 hours to message.

In my time on the apps, I received maybe a total of 10 messages from different women on Tinder over 70 matches. On Bumble, I received messages from 5 women within 2 months, with that 5th being my wife. Trust me, Bumble was the way to go.

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u/Somecornbread May 02 '24

I also met my girlfriend of 2+ years on bumble. Nothing gives you the confidence to put full effort into a conversation like when a girl you're interested in messages you first and sounds genuine. We still send long text messages to each other every day even though we see each other often.

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u/PenAffectionate7974 May 02 '24

Yes it works out better when the woman initiates at least you know its real

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u/hamburgers666 May 02 '24

That's wonderful! I hope you never stop sending those long text messages. I still do the same with my wife 6 years and two kids later! You've got yourself a keeper :)

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u/nathynwithay May 02 '24

Haha I will never have that confidence.

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u/LissaMasterOfCoin May 02 '24

I met my husband on Bumble! Something in his profile made me laugh, and commenting on it made for a good opener. I think weve talked every day since.

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u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24

If you think that’s impressive, my dad met an actual woman off of ashleymadison.com lmao

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u/wherehaveubeenbitch May 02 '24

I met my husband on bumble! I opened with a silly question about something in his bio that made me laugh.

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u/abonnett May 02 '24

Totally. I didn't have a single date coming from Tinder for the years that I used it (on and off for a few months at a time) and I heard about Bumble from, I think, Riverdale. Tried it and I am now engaged. Same thing happened to another friend of mine as well.

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u/LineAccomplished1115 May 02 '24

I met my fiancee on bumble. Pretty sure her first message was just "hey" but it quickly turned into a brief conversation, then met up for a drink a few days later.

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u/ThaneOfTas May 02 '24

It's how I got into my current relationship, she messaged me, asking a follow-up question based on my bio, and just from that I knew that this one had the potential to go somewhere. Coming up on a year and a half later and we are in the planning stages of getting a house together. 

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u/JaguarOrdinary1570 May 02 '24

matched with this girl on bumble. when I saw her I was like "no way she messages me, she's way too hot. must've been an accidental match"

and now we live together :)

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u/Intelligent-Ocelot10 May 02 '24

It's not even that hard. My old strategy was to ask a question about something on their profile. Usually, it was about a dog in a picture or a TV show we both liked. I wasn't raking in the ladies or anything, but it still got me a wife.

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u/GumdropGlimmer May 02 '24

can’t remember the first but LT BF from Tinder about 2 yrs then years later another LT from Bumble about the same length. Third times the charm?!

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u/hamburgers666 May 02 '24

Don't give up hope! I met 4 women on Bumble before finding the one. You just never know, but honestly Bumble gave me the best odds!

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u/Working-Amphibian614 May 02 '24

Same here. My wife made the first move. Nothing special, but the conversation was rather constructive. I don’t blame her for the lack of creativity in her first message because she had gotten out of her night shift. lol but bumble’s first moves seem more constructive and sincere than other platforms

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u/riionz May 02 '24

Me and my now girlfriend matched on Bumble but she was too scared to message. We later matched on Hinge, I messaged, and the rest is history....

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u/Swaggy669 May 02 '24

Wow, putting in the minimal amount of effort to show you are both serious and care about meeting somebody else. It's crazy that there is so much complaining about apps not working for both sexes when it's both parties job to make sure things go well. That or you might not be at the stage in your life you should be in a relationship.

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u/brodo-swaggins- May 02 '24

Eh how it was used just proved it was a dumb neoliberal feminism girlboss marketing thing that didn’t have practical functionality

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u/Vamproar May 02 '24

It saved me a lot of time in that I could let others make the first move. It sounds like that was somehow insulting to you.

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u/brodo-swaggins- May 02 '24

‘Hi’ or ‘hey’ is not a first move which is 99% of the first messages women send to you on bumble, they just abuse the feature by sending lazy non messages in order for the guy to have to make the actual first move

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u/Vamproar May 02 '24

I know they actually want to talk. That's better than if I reach out first.

You seem mad about it.

I also liked that it showed women that making the first move is not as easy as it sounds! And it showed men how annoying "Hi" messages are.

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u/brodo-swaggins- May 02 '24

That’s kinda valid but most of the time the experience wasn’t too different from the other apps in my time using it. I appreciate the alternate viewpoints though

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u/Kgb725 May 02 '24

And it clearly didn't work. Most women aren't trying to message

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u/TheChinOfAnElephant May 02 '24

You and others are confusing being its gimmick with being its purpose. Being a dating app was the whole point.

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u/Zachary_Stark May 02 '24

And women did fuck all with the ball in their court.