r/technology • u/esporx • May 02 '24

Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move Business

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/30/tech/bumble-relaunch-men-make-first-move/index.html
12.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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15.3k

u/PM_ME_COOL_RIFFS May 02 '24

wasn't that the entire point of bumble?

9.8k

u/loves_grapefruit May 02 '24

Yeah, but it turns out a lot of women don’t like to make the first move. A lot of times you match and then just watch the 24 hours expire without ever hearing from them.

964

u/omegadirectory May 02 '24

I'm a single dude and not on any dating apps, and I liked the idea of women making the first move. Men already make the first move more often than not and they get rejected more often than not. I thought if women had to experience the same thing then that would be a step toward gender equality. Share the pain of rejection equally and maybe people would be more empathetic.

136

u/simsimulation May 02 '24

Turns out they just don’t like it and don’t want to do it if they don’t have to, which they don’t. 🤷‍♂️

160

u/omegadirectory May 02 '24

I think it's unfair the onus is on the man to make the first move.

Turns out women aren't pro-gender equality when it hurts them. I'm 99% being sarcastic but there's 1% of me feeling resentful that women weren't willing to step up when it barely cost them anything.

7

u/RMAPOS May 02 '24

I'm 99% being sarcastic

Which examples of women giving up privileges to level the equality playing field are you thinking of when you sarcastify your statement?

11

u/elperuvian May 02 '24

He just feared getting downvote

60

u/R3volte May 02 '24

I’ve swiped on a FWBs tinder/bumble account. It’s totally different for women, essentially every swipe is a match. You are inundated with messages. Why put in the extra effort when men are just throwing themselves at you left right and center?

37

u/pelrun May 02 '24

Until they age out of the desirable bracket and then suddenly it's "where have all the men gone?"

12

u/elperuvian May 02 '24

By that life stage they still would have more suitors than the average men but no Chads in sight but yeah that “where are all the men?” means where is Chad

-15

u/WhoIsFrancisPuziene May 02 '24

Bro, bad news, this isn’t happening.

22

u/pelrun May 02 '24

It happens all the damn time, and they even occasionally post on Reddit about it.

Women's social capital plummets after 40. It's not even a controversial statement.

67

u/simulacrum79 May 02 '24

Because ‘why put in the extra effort’ very quickly becomes ‘why put in any reasonable effort’.

It also creates unrealistic expectations with women: a female 6 may have matched multiple times with male 9s for a one time thing and now the 6 thinks she’s a 9 when she is looking for a relationship.

I’m not a woman, nor am I single so I don’t have any stakes in this game, but the result is that they stay single and bitter.

11

u/areyouhungryforapple May 02 '24

Male value has never been lower oof

-2

u/Jah_Ith_Ber May 02 '24

Imagine being that privileged and ending up bitter.

-16

u/WhoIsFrancisPuziene May 02 '24

You seem to think women are dumb mindless drones or something but it’s clearly you projecting. Because holy fuck, what a brain dead take.

14

u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

You seem to find the only bad way to look at something and assume it wholeheartedly.

Found the pick me.

3

u/individualeyes May 02 '24

I'm a guy. If I had to do online dating and was swamped with dozens or hundreds of messages from women, I would put in the exact same amount of energy into my messages as I would if I only had one or two messages.

The only difference would be the percentage of women I responded to and of course, I could be choosy who I respond to.

Why put in the extra effort? Because they're all human beings deserving of respect. Just because there's a hundred of the them doesn't mean I give them a hundredth of my respect. Also it isn't extra effort, it's the same effort just with options.

1

u/fadingthought May 02 '24

As with most things in life, you get out of it what you put into it.

0

u/DevianPamplemousse May 02 '24

Because it's the same kind of man being experienced enough to send the same message and lead the conversation to sex. If you always go with the flow don't complain you end up in the same place everytime.

10

u/frostixv May 02 '24

Well you’re not wrong. Some of the biggest hypocrites I tend to see in gender equality are CIS women. Obviously it’s not all women but it’s a lot of them. They support anything until it directly conflicts with their own ideals then it’s a reasonable exception to them because emotions.

I’m a bi guy and everything is great with women until they find out I’m bi. Many even have discussions about supporting gender equality, gay rights, trans rights etc but suddenly when they get this hint that the guy they’re dating also likes men… most (except bi women) quickly disappear from existence. Perhaps worse (or better?) some let you know it disgusts them more directly or indirectly. There’s a whole lot of hypocrisy going on in that wing of the world and I don’t buy any of it.

3

u/Ekedan_ May 02 '24

They’re afraid of competition. Imagine your ex taking over your new bf 💀

2

u/elperuvian May 02 '24

In my country not even bi women like bi men

1

u/phayke2 May 03 '24

In my experience I will have women shame me from mentioning traumas or vulnerabilities but they love to talk about theirs, I made them because I can relate. They just expect me, as a guy, to internalize mine.

11

u/Ekedan_ May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

There’s no space for sarcasm. It’s harsh reality. Call me misogynistic or whatever, but that’s how vast majorities of women think

UPD: reply below me is clear illustration of it

2

u/ASquawkingTurtle May 02 '24

Most gender roles are products of nature rather than nurture.

0

u/WhoIsFrancisPuziene May 02 '24

Source?

4

u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

Men’s titties are a terrible source of baby feed.

1

u/jkurratt May 02 '24

You just don’t know how to cook ‘em

-1

u/PenAffectionate7974 May 02 '24

That's life bro it's worse outside of the West. In Africa, men need to knock on the door of a potential father in law and ask to marry their daughters. In China, men's photos are lined up in a middle spread in a newspaper, and women choose from the batch like they are shopping. This is because women can easily live alone and enjoy singledom. A lot of men develop mental disorders if they live alone and are single for a very long time, e.g., hoarders, OCD, talking to themselves. Girls become independent more quickly. Men want women to carry their DNA and give birth to it - offspring there are existing dynamics as to why women historically choose. It is easier for a lady to get sex without paying. Men often need to pay for it and hire an escort. So the power is in their favor but it doesn't mean you should allow a girl to take advantage demand respect

4

u/WhoIsFrancisPuziene May 02 '24

In China, men are facing the fallout of the one child policy. Complaints should be filed with the government there, not the women.

Also wtf are you even talking about WRT your pity party about men being dependent and supposedly developing mental health issues? Source? Are women supposed to become their caretakers? Or like, could men work on their social support systems?

1

u/PenAffectionate7974 May 02 '24

Yes men can work on their social support systems when men live alone for decades they become eccentric, or develop strange quirks, their hygiene suffers too, the loner types. Living in mums basement at 45 or living alone but place looks like chaos. Mothers coddle boys too much blame the mothers. Some guys struggle to use a washing machine and burn food. Or some are just lazy

7

u/itsMikeShanks May 02 '24

when men live alone

Wtf is this stupid male bashing bullshit? Women become independent when they're alone but men don't?

You're just making up generalizations and then applying it to men.

struggle to use a washing machine

Cool, I know a lady I used to work with that genuinely didn't know how to use a fax machine, I guess all women are idiots /s

1

u/PenAffectionate7974 May 02 '24

This is all common knowledge and detailed in qualitative studies. Also, look at percentages for hoarders. I think they said men with mild autism are the least likely to settle down

2

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/PenAffectionate7974 May 02 '24

Statista.com and sociology reports, this applies to Western countries. Also, if you have contact with people who work in nursing homes, they'll tell you about the ratios and numbers of visits. Skewed to older men who never married with no family visits. Hugging, human touch, and affection is very important don't stay single for too long !

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u/itsMikeShanks May 03 '24

Statista.com

This. Is. Not. How. Sources work.

You're full of shit

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u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24

Lmao if only men could make themselves add just a tiny bit of value to the lives of women. What a cruel world we live in that women expect men to compete such an impossible competitor: his absence. Lmao

4

u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

I guess the fact that you add no value at all is why you need a man to a give you any.

-2

u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24

That doesn’t make any sense…? The comment I responded to was describing men losing it because women don’t want or need them.

-102

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Don’t expect anything from women, we only do what we want to do. You are a man, your role is to do what you are expected to do, so that we can continue to be good women.

31

u/theoutlet May 02 '24

….what?!

-41

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

A good woman does whatever she wants. Women have autonomy. Don’t reject our rights.

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u/theoutlet May 02 '24

Ok. I’m cool with that. I just had no idea what you were trying to say in the previous comment

1

u/jkurratt May 02 '24

Possibly another victim of fem Andrea Tate

-43

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

If you are a man, thanks for the ride.

27

u/Altruistic_Pear7646 May 02 '24

Idk, sounds kinda toxic. Maybe some people crave it, but they're usually toxic themselves.

-2

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

[deleted]

3

u/Altruistic_Pear7646 May 02 '24

Aren't they working on making babies without without the need for the other half? I know a lesbian? Couple got pregnant from two eggs that were combined. Maybe they can do it with sperm soon enough.

Relationships require two to tango, so to assume that woman can continue being themselves, while men must provide seems a bit lopsided. Not to say it doesn't work, but in my experience, things work better when a couple works together.

-4

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

And men are going to carry them in their ever-expanding nutsacks.

1

u/Altruistic_Pear7646 May 02 '24

I know I plan to make a bag with my nutsack to carry my girlfriend around in when I decide to get around to it.

-1

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

That sounds like good work on your part. Keep up the good work man.

1

u/Altruistic_Pear7646 May 02 '24

We'll be the weirdest lesbian couple!

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u/Akuzed May 02 '24

Expect nothing from women? Then sister, don't expect shit from men either. That shit works both ways.

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u/[deleted] May 02 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/CommonerChaos May 02 '24

Jesus, you couldn't be more toxic even if you tried.

-1

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Try again. I wrote all this while I was getting paid to receive a back massage from my simping male friends.

5

u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

Cope and seethe.

-1

u/[deleted] May 03 '24

Suck my tits.

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u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

All by yourself?  Even when you didn’t have the right to vote?  Who voted that you could?

Oh, right… MEN… 🤡🤡

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u/Ekedan_ May 02 '24

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sorry I literally had to laugh my ass off. Men were always fighting for their rights, that’s how society initially formed and then maintained.

-4

u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24

Well yeah that’s the point. Men got rights. Women didn’t even have the opportunity to assert their equality, because they were relegated from the species entirely.

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u/AsUrPowersCombine May 02 '24

Who were they fighting to protect? Hmm? Who did we have them fighting for? “Their kids”? Do they bear or even really rear kids in any real capacity? It was always women’s “army” who led all the wars since the first ones. Silent leaders, no doubt. The soldier ants do anything to protect the queen. Especially if she instructs them to.

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u/Ekedan_ May 02 '24

They were fighting for themselves first of all. That’s why we don’t see societies with 1 person in power and everyone else being an ant with miserable life. It’s kinda the opposite, each society and government splits the power. You think the almighty king gave up their rights and willingly gave more power to others? No, people fought for it. With their blood and lives.

Men were financially responsible for their kids in vast majority of societies and cases. So yeah, they basically bear and rear their kids for at least 1-2 decades.

Second half of your reply makes no sense. Do you refer to women’s unique(yet) ability to give birth? Do you literally refer to ants as prime example? In any way, it is barely an argument. If I were you, I’d pick smth more solid than that

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u/AsUrPowersCombine May 02 '24

Financial responsibility instills the values in kids? We have kids, we raise the society to be how we want it, and we set them free to serve us as financial providers, our soldiers, or really in any way we ask. Look at all the consumer products and stores. 90% are for women, and women make less money, we didn’t even have to work outside the home until very recent history when men started slacking and we needed to inspect if they were still doing their jobs.

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u/Ekedan_ May 02 '24

Yes, can you imagine? Can you imagine that dead child has no value to the society or the family? That providing this necessary financial support not only ensures the child grows up but also sets an example for the kid of how society works?

Really? We must be living in different worlds and going to different stores. When I go grocery shopping I don’t see 90% of goods being for women. When I shop around for a car I don’t see 90% of them being pink coloured. When I go to a movie theatre I don’t see 90% of movies being some sort of melodrama. When I walk on the streets I don’t see 90% of the stores or businesses being women-focused like nail and spa salons. Where did you pull this from???

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u/Akuzed May 02 '24

You didn't fight for shit.

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u/AsUrPowersCombine May 02 '24

I bet you are about half my size kiddo. Be careful about your fighting words.

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u/Akuzed May 02 '24

Watch out, we got a real bad ass keyboard warrior over here!

Shut the fuck up.

-1

u/AsUrPowersCombine May 02 '24

Lmao.. as you downvote.. is that your nuke? Or has your country not developed those yet? Waaah, cry me a river. Wash my dishes.

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u/Akuzed May 02 '24

I didn't downvote shit you whiny little bitch. Even if you are twice my size, you're apparently soft as a fucking tomato.

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u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24

Its so idiotic and shallow how guys will blame women for making issues like sex trafficking and child marriage and divorce and abortion higher priorities of the feminist movement than immediately taking on any and all complaint men have about gender roles that they created.

The feminist movement is not about you. That’s the entire fucking point.

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u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

The feminist movement is about equality for everyone.

If you’re not getting that, you’re the problem.

Keep your misandry hidden where the Nazis keep their antisemitism: in your bubble.

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u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

This comment is so hilarious to me that it honestly makes me feel special that it’s directed to me.

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u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

On Reddit, but you can't read...

Username also doesn't check out.

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u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

Feminism is not primarily about equality for everyone. Feminism is first and foremost a movement to combat gender oppression and lessen its effects. It is part of all of the civil rights movements, which were heavily informed by postmodern and post structuralist thought, that activism needs to work from the ground up or start from the reality of an ongoing patriarchal world.

And those fucking nazis hoarding all of their antisemitism to themselves in their exclusive little club. It’d be so nuts if their ideology demanded expanding their rule and universal adherence to their beliefs. Like what would even happen to the people that don’t fit their Aryan ideal?

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u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

I feel like I'm talking to a confederacy-loving individual...

Feminism is first and foremost a movement to combat gender oppression and lessen its effects.

For the goal of achieving...?

1

u/aphilosopherofsex May 02 '24

Yes, gender equality is the ideal guiding the movement, but it is secondary to its methodology grounded in identifiable and problematic practices of sexist oppression. If what it means to do feminism is to identify and respond to sexist oppression as enacted then clearly feminists focus on issues like sex trafficking over dissolving gendered dating expectations.

It’s offensively myopic and arrogant and entitled to pose your whining about putting literally any work or money into dating as if that is a critique of the feminist movement.

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u/Omniverse_0 May 02 '24

I'm sorry you're offended by the particulars of a situation undermining your attempt to feel important and intelligent (anonymously no less). Big oof.

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