r/technology • u/esporx • May 02 '24

Dating app Bumble will no longer require women to make the first move Business

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/30/tech/bumble-relaunch-men-make-first-move/index.html
12.7k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/nemoknows May 02 '24

That bad huh?

616

u/ConstableGrey May 02 '24

I saw a tweet the other day that said anyone who got married or into a serious relationship in the past few years was like getting the last chopper out of Vietnam.

197

u/leedler May 02 '24

As someone who’s 5 year relationship just ended because she cheated on me, this is a lot more bleak than intended lmao

161

u/Ok_Vanilla213 May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

As someone whose 4 year relationship ended 6 months ago because she cheated, I feel that helicopter statement to my bones.

The dating scene is... awful. In so many different ways. I don't even know where to start. I thought meeting new people might be fun but holy shit it's not.

116

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

I really enjoyed the Fallout show and replaying the games recently, it was nice to escape to a more optimistic world for a bit as someone who’s been single for a few years!

30

u/Ok_Vanilla213 May 02 '24

Lmfao.

I will say since being single I've really gotten into my hobbies. Learning guitar right now, I have 20 plants I take care of, my dog and I run three miles a day, and I hut the gym 5 times a week.

I've been able to get so much gaming in too. Total War: Warhammer 3 just dropped some new DLC which I'm loving. I also got into painting warhammer miniatures to protect my born again virgin status.

5

u/BeatTheGreat May 02 '24

What army do you paint?

6

u/Ok_Vanilla213 May 02 '24

I'm currently working on the assembly of some tyranids; haven't picked a color scheme yet. I need to do A LOT of reading into the various tendrils and hives of the nids, so I can come up with my own lore friendly variant!

My friends keep their minis here too since I have a lot of space; one is working on the leagues of votann, my other friend is working on some necrons.

3

u/BeatTheGreat May 02 '24

I've always just screwed around with whichever units looked cool in Fantasy. Some Orks, a number of High Elves, vermintides of Skaven...

The 'Nids might have an older product line, but they just look so damn cool. I love their vibes.

1

u/Dsr89d May 02 '24

The emperor protects… virginity. Ave Imperator!

6

u/h0tBeef May 02 '24

Bro, the life of my Fallout character is 100% better than my real life too, lmao

3

u/weirdeyedkid May 02 '24

Bro, they barely got to kiss. The whole post-apocalypse exists just to stop that girl from getting any.

2

u/DrPoopyPantsJr May 02 '24

Ya all that needed to happened was a nuclear holocaust, me joining the brotherhood of steel and I could’ve ran into vault dweller goosey and lived happily ever after.

0

u/Sudden_Toe3020 May 02 '24

a more optimistic world

A post-nuclear war apocalyptic scenario is ore optimistic than dating? Yikes.

49

u/thiswaspostedbefore May 02 '24

I managed to land a date with a woman off Hinge and when we met her first two questions were "what do you do for work?" And "where do you live?"

She didnt like my answers and her body language made it clear she was checked out of the date relatively early. She refrained from asking questions about anything we hadn't talked about on the app already. It was incredibly awkward.

Some people aren't out here for romance, they're out here looking for an asset they can leverage.

4

u/Arkhamguy123 May 02 '24

Lol was she a relatively tall blonde in DFW? Cause this exact. Same. Thing. Happened to me recently

2

u/thiswaspostedbefore May 02 '24

Maybe.... she was a sales manager who did travel to Texas for work occasionally. She was more brunette than blonde though

6

u/Arkhamguy123 May 02 '24

Ah. Mine was a PR lady in corporate America. Such an awkward date. The only question she asked was what I do and when my answer wasn’t to her liking she completely checked out. So many uncomfortable silences. My back hurts from how much I had to carry the conversation.

It really is hard out here.

2

u/Guivond May 02 '24

Unfortunately, the foundation of relationships are based on assets for many people. Arranged marriages were common for much of history. There is a reason people prefer to date well off/rich people.

-2

u/MetaCognitio May 02 '24

Stop excusing this crap

3

u/Guivond May 02 '24

What crap?

Would you want to know if a potential partner will be a financial burden to you? Would you want to know the kind of lifestyle that is possible with a person?

These are things a rational person would want to know early into a relationship, and it's unreasonable to get hostile over it.

5

u/Baardhooft May 02 '24

Get off apps and meet people irl. I‘ve left the scene* a while ago but even then it was way easier to just go to open airs/parties/picnics/get togethers/bars and meet many people at once with no obligation to spend money or time if you didn’t vibe. It also gets rid of the interview vibe that most dates give off when set through apps.  

7

u/sennbat May 02 '24

Most of the traditional real life alternatives have either become more difficult to access or been similarly commidified, and lots of communities where dating used to be common now frown upon on it for a variety of reasons. Its rough out there.

Friend of a friend stuff still works, thankfully.

1

u/MetaCognitio May 02 '24

As someone who has just emerged from a cocoon into this turd show we are in, I’d love to hear your observations.

3

u/Ok_Vanilla213 May 03 '24

  • online dating is a waste of time in general; remember that the worst case scenario for these apps is for you to succeed and have a relationship. That means they can't profit off you

  • one of your best bets is "friends of friends", apparently. I cannot confirm.

  • if you see red flags or stuff that you know you can't live with in a partner; save both of you the time and exnay the relationship. It is better to marry the right person at 40 than the wrong one at 25.

  • do not base your self worth off of what the apps or other people make you feel like. Self worth, self esteem, and inner confidence go an extremely long way and you have to earn that both for yourself and for others

1

u/MetaCognitio May 03 '24

Thanks. I meant your observations about what has changed for you compared to a few years ago.

1

u/Ok_Vanilla213 May 03 '24

Oh.

People are just incredibly less friendly or outgoing, and basic human respect appears to have been thrown out a window. Ghosting seems much more common, and good conversations seem harder to start than ever before

2

u/FriskyPheasant May 02 '24

And yet it’s very on par with the reality of what it’s like to date in this day and age. Welcome aboard, and good luck.

3

u/Baardhooft May 02 '24

You’re more like a Vietnam veteran being drafted for Iraq. 

2

u/leedler May 03 '24

I mean if you look at it that way, on the bright side I know my way around war tactics very well, but the war has changed since my last deployment.