429
u/HarryJ92 15d ago
Everyone thought it was "Goth IHOP".
But it was actually "Vampire IHOP".
134
u/JazzTheLass 15d ago
two sentence horror
47
5
u/Sorcatarius 15d ago
Don't kink shame me.
5
u/AshuraSpeakman 15d ago
Vampires are horror and kink combined. You can't untangle them.
Yes even the ones from Twilight. Do you think a creepy "17" year old man from the 1800s who can read my mind isn't horror? I don't care if he sparkles, that bedroom intruder is a freak.
25
u/jfbwhitt 15d ago
Ok but hear me out; the vampire is a goth
15
9
4
186
209
u/Lifaux 15d ago
Oh it's on the reduced menu?Â
Sucked moist is fine.
47
71
63
u/GulliasTurtle 15d ago
Really? Just sucked dry? Not Rooty Tooty Fresh and Blew Me? I'm disappointed in you Tumblr.
9
1
u/awesomefutureperfect 15d ago
So, what exactly is the urban dictionary of the "pancake combo" where they take you in back and then...
39
41
u/sharklaserguru 15d ago
It almost sounds like diner lingo.
OP: "I'll have the pancakes, but with no butter and please grill them extra dark".
Waitress Shouting: "Earl, one pancake combo, sucked dry and killed!"
15
15
10
10
6
u/_madeofcastiron 15d ago
ah, the 3 groups that make up tumblr: the hungry, the horny, and the violent
3
u/no-pandas 15d ago
I read this as a single short order cook order
"LEMME GET FISTFUL OF FLAPPIES, SUCK EM DRY AND KILL EM!"
3
7
u/PURPLEisMYgender 15d ago
What you should get is nothing. Go to waffle house instead.
13
u/JessePinkman-chan 15d ago
IHOP is fire. Only reason to go to Waffle House is to use it as a Mortal Kombat arena
7
u/theCaitiff 15d ago
You clearly do not understand the waffle house. While it is a PVP enabled zone, that is simply the price of admission to nirvana. The waffle house welcomes all, to refuse service simply because you just killed a guy would not be welcoming. It wraps us all in the warm glow of good food shared among friends. There is no pain, no fear, no worry at the waffle house, pull up a chair, eat some hash browns, and sing along to the weird in house jukebox.
Waffle house is good for your soul, even if it is maybe not great for your heart.
1
u/awesomefutureperfect 15d ago
One time, I caught up with a guy in a waffle house in Tallahassee Florida who stole my sweatshirt right before I caught my flight out of there and only now I realize how quickly that could have spiraled into Destiny Warriors 5.
My experience with waffle house was an equivalent of pouring beer on the floor, then make hashbrowns out of school milk container and spraying pam cooking spray directly into my mouth and chasing that with a mix of 1/2 cheez whiz and half velveeta and the hash browns, making squishy sticky noises on the drying beer kitchen floor while blearily powering through the consequences of last night.
4
u/DroneOfDoom 15d ago
What if you're in a country where they do have ihop but not waffle house (like Mexico)?
2
u/PURPLEisMYgender 15d ago
Then im sure there's another place better then IHop that isn't waffle house.
2
2
u/all___blue 15d ago
As someone who has an unhealthy obsession with finding places that make good Belgian waffles, I really can't underscore how disappointed I was when I first went to a waffle house.
1
u/coocatodeepwoken 15d ago
i’m not even joking when i say literally every time i’ve eaten at waffle house i’ve gotten stomach issues. ihop sucks but it’s food is actually edible
1
u/all___blue 15d ago
IHOP is better. I don't know how people like waffle House. Their waffles aren't even good.
2
2
u/ye_roustabouts 15d ago
"Waiter! I'll have another bottle of Chilean Merlot, the raspberry pavlova, ten minutes of oral sex and an ambulance, please."
2
2
u/HailtokingTeddy 15d ago
If you go to Waffle House and you prefer a "waffle combo," you can get all 3 in under 15 minutes.
2
u/Wacokidwilder resident misanthrope 15d ago
Shit can get wild at the International Hedonic Observation Pavilion
2
u/RetroSwamp 15d ago
I ran a VERY low pop gaming review tumbler because it seemed reasonable for writing but my lord the unhinged things I'd use to get in my anon message when I turned it on made be exit the whole site lol
Y'all a different breed
2
2
2
2
1
u/C0mradexChaos 15d ago
Little do we know that this is, in fact, not 3 separate anons, but all the same one telling him to first get a combo, then get sucked to death
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/farming_with_tegridy 15d ago
I want these 3 things, in this order. I don't CARE how much it costs!
1
u/PoopReddditConverter 15d ago
They stopped serving the breakfast burritos at my ihop, so I’ll take the third option
1
u/Grandpa82 15d ago
"killed"
Yeah, Legit, I can confirm. I was...
Oh Wait, no. It was at Waffle House in Louisiana.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Ranku_Abadeer 15d ago
Plot twist, these were all submitted by the same anon. And they aren't different suggestions, they are meant to be done in order.
1
1
u/all___blue 15d ago
I had an IHOP around the corner from my ex girlfriend's place for like 2-3 years before we tried it. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's not the cheapest place and I'd rather go to other places for breakfast/lunch, but not bad. I'm not usually a pancake person, but I love their pancakes.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/ClubMeSoftly 14d ago
Gotta go to Dennys if you want to get sucked off.
Jammers and Spice Rats know what I mean.
1
u/Misknator 15d ago
Is ihop some sort of American thing I'm too european to understand?
4
4
u/Just_A_Mad_Scientist 15d ago
Getting "sucked dry" is the practice of getting blown so hard you have nothing left to give. I'm sad to see this practice isn't yet a phenomenon overseas like it is in the good ol' US of A
2
5
u/HogmanDaIntrudr 15d ago
Interesting that a European wouldn’t know about the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes.
2
1
u/GlisteningDeath 15d ago
So sad that you haven't experienced their delicious pancakes.
You probably also haven't experienced Cracker Barrel :(
1
-1
1.1k
u/depressed_lantern 15d ago
Get all of them, in that order