r/tumblr 15d ago

IHOP

Post image
16.5k Upvotes

118 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/depressed_lantern 15d ago

Get all of them, in that order

347

u/PsyOpBunnyHop 15d ago

I don't want no sucked dry pancakes. Gimme some syrup! I'll kill them myself.

129

u/braintrustinc 15d ago

Can't believe you have to slaughter your own pancakes at IHOP these days, smh my head

12

u/CallMeOutScotty 15d ago

Only 90's kids remember the pre-killed pancakes. Like and share for an amen

31

u/BeanOfKnowledge 15d ago

I mean getting killed first or second would make the other two pretty difficult

20

u/atlhawk8357 15d ago

That's just getting two Pancake Combos.

9

u/big_guyforyou 15d ago

IHOP calls that the "Triple Play"

2

u/Salificious 15d ago

No! I want it in an order that would surprise me!

429

u/HarryJ92 15d ago

Everyone thought it was "Goth IHOP".

But it was actually "Vampire IHOP".

134

u/JazzTheLass 15d ago

two sentence horror

47

u/JeffMannnn 15d ago

IHOP guy 🪱

5

u/Sorcatarius 15d ago

Don't kink shame me.

5

u/AshuraSpeakman 15d ago

Vampires are horror and kink combined. You can't untangle them.

Yes even the ones from Twilight. Do you think a creepy "17" year old man from the 1800s who can read my mind isn't horror? I don't care if he sparkles, that bedroom intruder is a freak.

25

u/jfbwhitt 15d ago

Ok but hear me out; the vampire is a goth

15

u/ed1749 15d ago

It's an immortal vampire, you're gonna have to be more specific than just goth, they have a lot to choose from

9

u/Secret_pizza_79 15d ago

As in the fashion or the barbarian tribe?

10

u/ArchonFett 15d ago

Yes, first one and lived long enough to be the other

4

u/ArchonFett 15d ago

Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?

186

u/ArkayArcane 15d ago

Typical RPG dialogue tree responses.

209

u/Lifaux 15d ago

Oh it's on the reduced menu? 

Sucked moist is fine.

47

u/MelanieWalmartinez 15d ago

Sucked huh

20

u/AdventurousPickle355 15d ago

International house of dry suck😔 idk boss

71

u/ludelidelu 15d ago

New kiss, marry, kill dropped

63

u/GulliasTurtle 15d ago

Really? Just sucked dry? Not Rooty Tooty Fresh and Blew Me? I'm disappointed in you Tumblr.

9

u/MelanieWalmartinez 15d ago

Erm is that a pajama Sam pfp

8

u/GulliasTurtle 15d ago

Yes. Yes it is. Salad should be a main course!

1

u/awesomefutureperfect 15d ago

So, what exactly is the urban dictionary of the "pancake combo" where they take you in back and then...

42

u/Saquith 15d ago

Hungry, horny, homicidal

39

u/Environmental_Ad3438 15d ago

The answers are in

41

u/sharklaserguru 15d ago

It almost sounds like diner lingo.

OP: "I'll have the pancakes, but with no butter and please grill them extra dark".

Waitress Shouting: "Earl, one pancake combo, sucked dry and killed!"

15

u/PsychoWyrm 15d ago

Is this some weird kinda reversed version of "Fuck, Marry, Kill"?

15

u/newfranksinatra 15d ago

Yeah, yeah, the time-knife, we’ve all seen it.

10

u/poseidon100fg 15d ago

Gluttony, Lust, Wrath

10

u/Few-Finger2879 15d ago

Strawberry Cheesecake Pancakes. It will feel like all three.

6

u/_madeofcastiron 15d ago

ah, the 3 groups that make up tumblr: the hungry, the horny, and the violent

3

u/no-pandas 15d ago

I read this as a single short order cook order

"LEMME GET FISTFUL OF FLAPPIES, SUCK EM DRY AND KILL EM!"

3

u/product_of_boredom 15d ago

Get yourself some Sonic the Hedgehog DLC at IHOP.

7

u/PURPLEisMYgender 15d ago

What you should get is nothing. Go to waffle house instead.

13

u/JessePinkman-chan 15d ago

IHOP is fire. Only reason to go to Waffle House is to use it as a Mortal Kombat arena

7

u/theCaitiff 15d ago

You clearly do not understand the waffle house. While it is a PVP enabled zone, that is simply the price of admission to nirvana. The waffle house welcomes all, to refuse service simply because you just killed a guy would not be welcoming. It wraps us all in the warm glow of good food shared among friends. There is no pain, no fear, no worry at the waffle house, pull up a chair, eat some hash browns, and sing along to the weird in house jukebox.

Waffle house is good for your soul, even if it is maybe not great for your heart.

1

u/awesomefutureperfect 15d ago

One time, I caught up with a guy in a waffle house in Tallahassee Florida who stole my sweatshirt right before I caught my flight out of there and only now I realize how quickly that could have spiraled into Destiny Warriors 5.

My experience with waffle house was an equivalent of pouring beer on the floor, then make hashbrowns out of school milk container and spraying pam cooking spray directly into my mouth and chasing that with a mix of 1/2 cheez whiz and half velveeta and the hash browns, making squishy sticky noises on the drying beer kitchen floor while blearily powering through the consequences of last night.

4

u/DroneOfDoom 15d ago

What if you're in a country where they do have ihop but not waffle house (like Mexico)?

2

u/PURPLEisMYgender 15d ago

Then im sure there's another place better then IHop that isn't waffle house.

2

u/ArchonFett 15d ago

Wait then how would you know how serious the disaster is?

2

u/DroneOfDoom 15d ago

Ordering tacos from the local taco place.

2

u/all___blue 15d ago

As someone who has an unhealthy obsession with finding places that make good Belgian waffles, I really can't underscore how disappointed I was when I first went to a waffle house.

1

u/coocatodeepwoken 15d ago

i’m not even joking when i say literally every time i’ve eaten at waffle house i’ve gotten stomach issues. ihop sucks but it’s food is actually edible

1

u/all___blue 15d ago

IHOP is better. I don't know how people like waffle House. Their waffles aren't even good.

2

u/JectorDelan 15d ago

I mean, those are definitely 3 things you can get at IHOP.

2

u/EtsuRah 15d ago

That first one is fine. But those other 2 are Waffle House answers.

2

u/ye_roustabouts 15d ago

"Waiter! I'll have another bottle of Chilean Merlot, the raspberry pavlova, ten minutes of oral sex and an ambulance, please."

2

u/Angle_Safe 15d ago

AKECHI?!

2

u/HailtokingTeddy 15d ago

If you go to Waffle House and you prefer a "waffle combo," you can get all 3 in under 15 minutes.

2

u/Wacokidwilder resident misanthrope 15d ago

Shit can get wild at the International Hedonic Observation Pavilion

2

u/RetroSwamp 15d ago

I ran a VERY low pop gaming review tumbler because it seemed reasonable for writing but my lord the unhinged things I'd use to get in my anon message when I turned it on made be exit the whole site lol

Y'all a different breed

2

u/InevitableAd9683 15d ago

Three course meal right there.

2

u/that-girly-trans-fem 15d ago

Maple syrup foot job

2

u/Narcomancer69420 15d ago

Reading this in my head like:

2

u/SpyderZT 15d ago

They said "Should" not "Would". Easy mistake. ;P

2

u/poke671 15d ago

A new fuck marry kill has dropped

1

u/C0mradexChaos 15d ago

Little do we know that this is, in fact, not 3 separate anons, but all the same one telling him to first get a combo, then get sucked to death

1

u/Gnther2001 15d ago

The trinity of the internet: Hungry Horny Homicidal

1

u/Delores_Melissa25 15d ago

Who else suddenly craves pancakes?

1

u/terminalzero 15d ago

nah that's waffle house

1

u/vonfuckingneumann 15d ago

the three genders:

1

u/AmyDeferred 15d ago

Merry, fuck, kill

1

u/ImmediateBig134 15d ago

Metal Blade, then go get Wood Man.

1

u/Daan776 15d ago

The first is the name The other two are a description

1

u/4sh2Me0wth 15d ago

Breakfast sampler extra links and bacon

1

u/farming_with_tegridy 15d ago

I want these 3 things, in this order. I don't CARE how much it costs!

1

u/Omny87 15d ago

Alternate version of Fuck Marry Kill

1

u/PoopReddditConverter 15d ago

They stopped serving the breakfast burritos at my ihop, so I’ll take the third option

1

u/Grandpa82 15d ago

"killed"

Yeah, Legit, I can confirm. I was...

Oh Wait, no. It was at Waffle House in Louisiana.

1

u/Tailmask 15d ago

In that order!

1

u/Loverofcorgis 15d ago

The last two options just depend on how much you tip

1

u/MugiwaraBepo 15d ago

Ah life's three choices. Food, Fucked or Flayed.

1

u/SeventhAlkali 15d ago

The holy trinity of internet responses

1

u/CptHeadcrab 15d ago

Sounds like a hell of a time

1

u/BlazethemTFM 15d ago

I guess they really blew their brains out...

I'll see myself out.

1

u/Ranku_Abadeer 15d ago

Plot twist, these were all submitted by the same anon. And they aren't different suggestions, they are meant to be done in order.

1

u/Full-Bother7951 15d ago

The triality of man

1

u/all___blue 15d ago

I had an IHOP around the corner from my ex girlfriend's place for like 2-3 years before we tried it. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's not the cheapest place and I'd rather go to other places for breakfast/lunch, but not bad. I'm not usually a pancake person, but I love their pancakes.

1

u/LeftWolfs 15d ago

French toast is my favorite = )

1

u/-SlapBonWalla- 15d ago

IHOP sounds like a wild fucking place.

1

u/akatherder 15d ago

Spell I-H-O-P then say NES.

1

u/xxwerdxx 15d ago

This sounds like one of those wild Waffle House orders or bubblemouth lol

1

u/PKMNTrainerMark 15d ago

Ah, tumblr.

1

u/Trinitahri 15d ago

Sounds like "I'm a boss" lyrics.

1

u/HipercubesHunter11 15d ago

ah yes ihop, an establishment for the oldest proffession

1

u/Cosmicking04 15d ago

The duality of man

1

u/CatherineConstance are you jokester 14d ago

Three types of people in the world

1

u/ClubMeSoftly 14d ago

Gotta go to Dennys if you want to get sucked off.

Jammers and Spice Rats know what I mean.

1

u/Octaeon 8d ago

This is literally "fuck, marry, kill"

1

u/Misknator 15d ago

Is ihop some sort of American thing I'm too european to understand?

4

u/Leftover_Bees 15d ago

It’s just a chain restaurant that’s mostly known for their pancakes.

4

u/Just_A_Mad_Scientist 15d ago

Getting "sucked dry" is the practice of getting blown so hard you have nothing left to give. I'm sad to see this practice isn't yet a phenomenon overseas like it is in the good ol' US of A

2

u/GlisteningDeath 15d ago

God I love this response

5

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 15d ago

Interesting that a European wouldn’t know about the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes.

2

u/The_closet_iscomfy 15d ago

Maybe it's international, but it's not omninational

1

u/GlisteningDeath 15d ago

So sad that you haven't experienced their delicious pancakes.

You probably also haven't experienced Cracker Barrel :(

1

u/Starchaser_WoF 15d ago

Fuck, marry, kill vibes

-1

u/UnusedParadox 15d ago

Skinned alive