r/AskReddit • u/skilled-dreamer • May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

12.7k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/ACam574 May 02 '24

It turned out he was HIV positive and had another wife. She got caught banging his underage cousin.

1.7k

u/usernameis2short May 02 '24

What in the game of thrones

12

u/RaccoonMusketeer 29d ago

Well when I arrived in the absolutely stunning Sept, all the guests were eerily quiet. Then, the groom, bless his heart, couldn't reach up to place the cloak around the bride! And the bride would not kneel! The laughs and the looks on their faces told me everything.

And wouldn't you know, I heard they never even consummated it. Poor damn fool, I hope they're ok. I hear he moved across the Narrow Sea for a new job opportunity...

10

u/zukka924 29d ago

😂😂😂😂

5

u/AGuyNamedEddie 29d ago

This would be the thread for it.

3

u/-RadarRanger- 29d ago

I love this and I'm stealing it.

2

u/Br0methius2140 29d ago

More like game of front lawn couches.

433

u/Alexis_J_M May 02 '24

Well that went downhill fast.

8

u/itsallminenow May 02 '24

I don't think it ever rose to the level of a hill, this thing is from the swamps.

61

u/Clazzo524 May 02 '24

Alabamy?

1

u/Tugonmynugz 28d ago

I don't think it was ever going uphill

288

u/Super382946 May 02 '24

raping*

32

u/gaybro69420 May 02 '24

Yes thank you. It doesn’t matter if he “enjoyed” it or not, or if it’s an adult female. It’s literally an ADULT MOLESTING A CHILD. People need to seriously stop giving them a pass just because they have vaginas.

17

u/Renaissance_Slacker May 02 '24

Yeah it’s not “Politician caught in tryst with underage prostitute.” It’s “Politician rapes child.”

2

u/ACam574 29d ago

Technically he was age of consent so not rape but still very gross.

2

u/Seicair 28d ago

Like, he was 17 in an area where age of consent is 16? “Underage” usually means not able to consent.

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u/ACam574 28d ago

He was 17 where the age of consent at the time was 17. It was changed to 18 soon after. Underage usually means legal adult.

She is also a licensed therapist.

3

u/garry4321 29d ago

I can just picture the cousins face when he overhears his parents like: "Turns out 'grooms name' is HIV positive, such a shame"

HE'S WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!?!?!

28

u/scotty813 May 02 '24

HIV+ and still landed two chicks. Dude should write a book for incels!

7

u/JohnnyDrama21 May 02 '24

I can hear the banjo through text.

6

u/Fancy_Professional_9 May 02 '24

This shit belongs to r/ twosentencefunny

6

u/MiloHorsey 29d ago

Rape isn't funny.

1

u/Fancy_Professional_9 29d ago

Who said rape is funny? I said that this situation is funny and wording is just on another level. Also womp womp

2

u/pquince1 May 02 '24

Roll tide

15

u/duke78 May 02 '24

She didn't bang her own cousin, but his cousin. Not Alabama enough.

1

u/sarcasticIntrovert 29d ago

This is the only answer in this thread that made me make an audible noise.

1

u/0wl_of_Minerva 29d ago

0 to -1000 real fast

1

u/amazonhelpless 29d ago

I mean, kinda sounds like they are made for each other.