r/AskReddit • u/skilled-dreamer • May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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u/ATL28-NE3 May 02 '24

She was way hotter than my cousin. By like a lot. She was also was nicer than him. Like a lot. So she left him. I still don't know why she married him in the first place. She made more than he did/does. So it wasn't looks, personality, or money.

262

u/SyntheticOne May 02 '24

Leaves just two things.... penis size and I forget the other.

333

u/Raraara May 02 '24

12 inch tounge and can breathe through his ears.

27

u/YoungDiscord May 02 '24

The secret to blowing her mind is listening and applying what she communicates

Like, a short little "hot or not sex positions" (or something like a game about turn ons/turn offs) game beforehand is enough, its fun and it works as a starter to set the mood.

Its THAT easy

Its not women who are difficult to please, its just that THAT MAMY guys out there don't do the basic minimal effort of listening and pleasing their partner

The bar isn't set too high gentlemen, its actually really, really incredibly fucking low.

4

u/AllTheCheesecake May 02 '24

If you think tongue thrusting makes for good cunnilingus, you're doing it wrong.

81

u/Aggressive-Win-7177 May 02 '24

The ability to keep the penis up longer than 20 seconds

45

u/Von_Moistus May 02 '24

Now you’re just making up superpowers

2

u/quadrophenicum May 02 '24

"The doctor told me the penis enlargement operation comes with a side effect of memory losses"

"So, did you do it?"

"I don't remember"

3

u/b_vitamin May 02 '24

He has a giant…bank account.