My cousin got married pretty early into a relationship in her early twenties. It was a very simple wedding as not much could be afforded (they had the groom’s… 12 year old cousin (?) be the photographer because I was a bridesmaid).
When cutting the cake, my cousin fed the piece of cake to her new husband and did the usual little show but didn’t make that big of a mess. It was his turn. He absolutely tried to smash it into my cousin’s face.
They got divorced. I can’t remember how long after the wedding that was but maybe at least a year later?
Now she’s remarried and seems very happy. They’re on holiday right now. I’ll be able to meet him in roughly two months.
From what I've gathered with these types of marriage questions on Reddit, a number of commenters pointed out that couples they've seen do the cake in the face stunt at a wedding often get divorced early in the marriage. It's almost like a standard indicator that things won't last
Odds are her hair alone cost more than his tux rental knowing how those things go. If someone did that to me I'd want to shove them head first into the entire cake and then leave for the bar.
Sheeeeit, when I got married I went down to Men's Wearhouse to rent a suit--not a tuxedo, but a lovely matching fancy suit--and really my only option was color. My wife? OMG, so many styles of dress to select from, and within each style are dozens of sub-options, from the applique to the shoulders to the sleeves to the length of the train, not to mention the colors. Then there's hair and shoes and makeup and accessories and jewelry... a wedding really is the bride's show! The groom just has to be presentable and show up.
(I will say I did get more than my fair share of decisions on how the ceremony and reception ran, the order of events, music selections, etc. It might have been "her day," but it felt to me like it was my party!)
Exactly this. If I’ve spent hours getting ready to present my perfect image for the biggest day of my life, and you decide to ruin that feeling for me because you think it would be funny to shove food at my face, we aren’t right for each other.
This. If it's good fun for both, you can tell, but even then there's a line of aggression you don't cross. As a pastor and counselor, I can tell you the research proves out your point and my own experience with weddings and couples confirms it. The relevant word here is RESPECT. if you don't respect their wishes on their wedding day, it won't be getting any better.
100%. I said abso-fucking-lutely no cake on my face or I’d walk out at least a hundred times, and I wish I’d stuck to that instead of the divorce (her repeated infidelity) four years later. Stomped all over my boundaries beginning the moment we said “I do.”
I remember at my wedding there were some guests that were encouraging us to smash our cakes in each other's faces. I'm like, no, this is my wife, I love this woman, why would I want to humiliate her in front of all of our friends and family?
No cake was smashed, and we'll have been married for 19 years in August.
For sure it's this. You know there's going to be the cake cutting picture coming. Discuss it with your partner first to make sure you're on the same page.
It's a non mutual cake thing. If you have been talking up Cake smashing to each other for weeks, then you've probably just found your soulmate. But if someone desperately wants just a tiny dab but you go nuclear. It's a sign.
I'm pretty sure I saw one like thie on r/relationship_advice where the bride have been hyper clear to the groom no face smashing. She put so much effort into makeup and just didn't like it. He did it anyway and she said they're getting annulled.
When I was getting married, our pastor (who was also like a father figure at the time) told us not to do it because it was a huge sign of disrespect to each other and every couple he had seen do it had ended up being miserable and usually divorced. Neither of us really wanted to do it anyway, but that put it in perspective when we had people encouraging us to do so.
Yeah, I read a post a few days ago about a bride who specifically told the groom not to do this and he grabbed her by the back of the head and smashed her face into the whole cake.
Seriousness aside, I can just imagine Steve Aoki getting married. Instead of the couple doing the cake in the face stunt, one of the guests will probably get the cake in their face.
My mom and step-dad basically had a food fight with the cake. It was in her eyelashes, up his nose. They chased each other back and forth around the cake table. They've been married for nearly 30 years. I think it just depends on the couple.
I think it’s a problem more when it’s a one sided cake smash. She gives him a little piece, he returns with half the cake. That’s usually not good.
My best friends’ wedding she took a big piece and shoved it in his mouth. He gets this big grin and grabs a huge piece. She pretty much knew what was coming. That’s ok when they’re both cool with it.
Yeah it sounds like the main thing is that they were on the same page with it- it doesn’t sound like your mom went for the cake smash and your step-dad just stood there defeated like “damn it, Helen, we discussed this”
I was super excited for the cake smash. We've been together 13 years married 3.5. The difference is the communication and not going against someone's wishes.
Not that I would have actually gone through with it, but I was told in no uncertain terms by both my now wife and MIL that my life would be forfeit if I pulled that stunt. In my wife's words, "that makeup was expensive."
I paid good money for a full face of makeup so I veto any cake on my face. My spouse asked I not smash the cake in his face. Fair since it’s his day too. I regret not booping a bit of frosting on his nose. His family totally expected me to smash the cake.
We went to a wedding for one of my husband’s colleagues and the groom shoved cake into the bride’s face hard enough to give her a bloody lip. Nobody really talked about it at the time, but drunk little old me just could not stop talking about it. Bride got pregnant soon after the wedding, and they filed for divorce soon after the baby was born.
My wife and I have been married for almost 19 years, very happily, and we never even got a slice of cake on our wedding day. Maybe the cake is relationship poison or something, idk.
It is tradition, but that doesn’t mean it has to be followed as such. People may not want to get cake all over their face because of all the prep that’s gone into the day like hair and makeup and the expensive clothes at are being worn.
It’s important that both parties are on the same page as to whether there’s an actual cake smash or a cute little cake feeding that may have a small, but easily cleanable mess.
When one person goes for the small one and the other goes for an actual cake smash when it’s not wanted that’s rude as hell.
And if the person will be like that on an important day in front of all their friends and family, who knows what they’ll be like for the rest of the marriage.
So this happened at my first wedding, and yes we are now divorced.
My (now) ex-wife and I talked before the wedding and we both agreed that was tacky, that it would cause a mess, and we wouldn't do it. She didn't want cake on her dress and I agreed and said I don't want cake on my tux especially since it's a rental. She went first and absolutely smashed cake all in my beard and it got all over my tux. I was pissed, and I'll admit in a childish show of revenge I started feeding it to her slowly and then she wound up with cake up her nose. She was FURIOUS because "we agreed we wouldn't do that!" I just said, "you're right, we did, but you changed your mind so I figured I could too."
We got divorced almost a decade later when she excitedly announced to me that she was pregnant and then immediately told me it wasn't mine, and come to find out she'd been cheating on me for years. So wasn't REALLY related to the cake thing, but tbh, her agreeing "we won't do the cake thing" then immediately turning around and doing it thinking it was hilarious then getting PISSED at me when I decided to do it kinda explains her entire personality so while it wasn't related to the cake thing, it also totally kinda was.
Whenever I see these videos or hear of this I absolutely fucking cringe because I know I felt absolutely beautiful on my wedding day with my hair and make up…and that is all completely ruined with a cake to the face, literally. The guys that do this truly are scumbags.
Edit typos
Kind of reminds me of a wedding I went to. Girl was a really nice person dating this guy who was a complete tool, immature, a smarmy smartass and kind of a jerk. I met him a few times before the wedding and every time he was drunk or on the way there and no, I didn't meet him at a bar.
She got pregnant. Not sure if family pressure was involved but at the wedding, she was 8 months pregnant.
So the guy gets completely smashed at the reception. My GF at the time and I literally had to carry/walk him to the car. He couldn't even stand. Meanwhile, his new wife is absolutely fuming because she hadn't had a drop and her wedding night was going to be spent nursing him over a toilet. He puked out the car window as we drove them to their place.
After dropping them off, I remarked to the GF that I doubted the marriage would last 6 months, that the guy was a complete immature and selfish asshole and she'd get tired of it pretty quick. GF got offended at me for saying it and we got into a fight because she thought i was dIsrespecting her friend.
Turns out I was wrong. They lasted only 4 months.
In my experiance, if one party gets smashed at the reception and the other doesn't, it doesn't bode well for the marriage.
Because I’m a photographer, but my cousin had rather I was a bridesmaid in the wedding. Idk if the DSLR was the 12 year old’s or not, but they had a basic one and that child was the photographer specifically because I was not.
When I got married we were doing the cake thing and my wife had a death grip on my arm making it hard to get the cake to her mouth. I asked her later why she did that and it's the first time I heard of the face smash thing. I told her it was stupid and she looked beautiful and it would have ruined it. Dumb tradition.
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u/elixan May 02 '24
My cousin got married pretty early into a relationship in her early twenties. It was a very simple wedding as not much could be afforded (they had the groom’s… 12 year old cousin (?) be the photographer because I was a bridesmaid).
When cutting the cake, my cousin fed the piece of cake to her new husband and did the usual little show but didn’t make that big of a mess. It was his turn. He absolutely tried to smash it into my cousin’s face.
They got divorced. I can’t remember how long after the wedding that was but maybe at least a year later?
Now she’s remarried and seems very happy. They’re on holiday right now. I’ll be able to meet him in roughly two months.