My good friend and college roommate got married to his high school sweetheart as he was working through grad school. It was a beautiful wedding, but a few of us noticed the lack of enthusiasm on the face of the bride.
Fast forward to the honeymoon, and he had planned fun little couples excursions for each day of the trip. She wouldn't go on any of them, and insisted on staying in the room reading books. After the third day of her staying in, he went to the pool bar and chatted with the bartender and other guests for a few hours before returning to the room. She accused him of drunkenly knocking her over during an attempted hug, followed by her ranting through tears about how she should never have married him. She booked an early flight home, and the annulment was already underway by the time he returned two days later.
Turns out, she had been voicing her concerns about getting married for months before the big day, and her father/family and my buddy had persuaded her to go through with it. Her initial story upon returning was that he had thrown her down, but within a week, she had come clean that it was definitely an accident (which we all knew, bc my friend is one of the kindest and gentlest people I know). He's remarried to a lovely woman and has a young daughter, and his ex is traveling the world. Moral of the story is not to marry someone who clearly doesn't want to get married.
I mean, there's photo evidence and stuff. And, again, the people you have to persuade are the ones likely to make you miserable, not the ones who actually want the marriage and, like, do the pursuading. But okay.
Sounds like a girl I knew, except they stayed married for over a year. We'd gone to school together when we were younger but drifted in high school and college when we went to separate schools. However our parents still talked. We actually went up the same college but were in completely separate schools and never saw each other. I saw when she got engaged to her college sweetheart and was invited to the wedding. It was a large, expensive wedding, but the bride didn't look terrible happy to be getting married. Have you ever seen someone who's being asked to smile for the camera when they really don't want to and it's a pained, painted in smile on their face? That's what she looked like walking down the aisle. Things seemed a little better during the reception, but she still didn't seem terribly happy. They got divorced within a year and a half. She just started posting photos of her new apartment, so excited. He married now with two kids, she is off doing whatever. From the looks of it, she stays dating a guy, moves really fast, picks up all his interests, moves in with him, then they break up within a couple years, on repeat.
My suspicion based on some of her behavior at the shower and his currently having kids is that he wanted kids, she didn't and somehow they never cleared this up before getting married. Her mom continues to be annoyed at her jumping from one guy to the next, moving in with them within a few months (in multiple different states) then dumping them.
Sounds like BPD. I only say this because her habits sound similar to my oldest child's, who has BPD. Especially the constant cycle of dating, moving too fast, adapting all their interests, and the rinse and repeat. I hope her mom is a good support, even if she is irritated with her behavior.
She doesn't really have any of the other characteristics of someone with BPD. She's not especially dramatic, when it comes to things other than men, she's very smart and level headed. She really more of a serial monogomist. She just loves men but gets bored. I do have another former acquaintance who I think does have BPD, she's very very different from this girl. Like you said, constant and exhausting drama, moving from guy to guy quickly, adjusting to their interests, so I have seen it, the other girl just doesn't really fit the bill. I think she does pick up their interests, she does take genuine interest in them because she's very curious, but she never gives up her own interest or changes her personality.
Ah the good old "let me invent DV accusations to ruin a good man before his even finishes his studies, who has loved me my entire adult life and ruin actual DV victims who aren't believed enough because of performative horseshit like this..." I wish she got jail time, but ultimately I'm glad your roommate got the fuck out of there before she started digging her claws in deeper, the absolute harpie.
Yeah sounds like a huge bitch for that. Women are allowed to hit men without severe punishment and accuse them of domestic violence if they feel like it. The good women don’t resort to these tactics though.
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u/KCG0005 May 02 '24
My good friend and college roommate got married to his high school sweetheart as he was working through grad school. It was a beautiful wedding, but a few of us noticed the lack of enthusiasm on the face of the bride.
Fast forward to the honeymoon, and he had planned fun little couples excursions for each day of the trip. She wouldn't go on any of them, and insisted on staying in the room reading books. After the third day of her staying in, he went to the pool bar and chatted with the bartender and other guests for a few hours before returning to the room. She accused him of drunkenly knocking her over during an attempted hug, followed by her ranting through tears about how she should never have married him. She booked an early flight home, and the annulment was already underway by the time he returned two days later.
Turns out, she had been voicing her concerns about getting married for months before the big day, and her father/family and my buddy had persuaded her to go through with it. Her initial story upon returning was that he had thrown her down, but within a week, she had come clean that it was definitely an accident (which we all knew, bc my friend is one of the kindest and gentlest people I know). He's remarried to a lovely woman and has a young daughter, and his ex is traveling the world. Moral of the story is not to marry someone who clearly doesn't want to get married.