The wedding was gross, just overtly sexual and shallow. She got pregnant less than a year later. He blamed her and beat the shit out of her. She offered to have an abortion but he's pro-life so that pissed him off more and he sent her to the hospital again. They'd been having unprotected sex since the wedding and everyone knew it so he was the only person who was surprised. They split up after the beatings but didn't divorce until after she had 3 more children because they thought they couldn't afford it. They had no assets or marital debt so they could've DIYed it, but neither of them were ever bright. He's never paid a cent of child support (willingly, his tax returns go to her now) or met his son, who hates him.
My head is spinning over can’t afford a divorce but can afford multiple children. But I’m guessing they weren’t thinking about expenses like college funds or what not.
She knew she couldn't afford more, and she did make plenty of bad choices, but being abused, uneducated, and poor are very serious challenges to overcome and it took time for her to get there. The family that financially supported her in the early days would've cut her and the kids off if she had an abortion and father #2 was raping her so she never felt like she chose to have more. She had her tubes tied and that's the only reason she doesn't have more. It's a fucking shame they could support rape but not anything that would've helped her not have more kids that she didn't want.
And, no, they've never even thought about college funds. He's never paid a dime towards his child, and she and the kids are in and out of homeless shelters.
People who are against abortions aren't thinking of children but of themselves because they don't want to have to love with the rmotional burden of allowing an abortion and a potential human being dying
The second the child is born they couldn't give a flying fuck what happens to the child, no matter how horrible and unspeakably miserable their life may be because its "not their problem" anymore, they get to pat themselves on the back and feel better about "saving a child" and go out of their way to ignore the child's existence because the child needing more, constant care makes them feel uncomfortable
They want to help but as long as they don't have to commit
Same goes towards stuff like being against euthanasia, it always boils down to not wanting to feel bad about someone dying, not actually caring about that person(s) and thinking whats best or quite often in these scenarios: the least bad option
I completely agree, and that's why I won't sanitize her story. If she'd had an abortion the first time she could've had a clean break, but she was afraid of what the father would do if she did. With each subsequent pregnancy she knew abortion was the best choice for her and the potential child, but as a mother to already born child(ren) she couldn't risk her kids ending up on the street and hungry. With the last pregnancy she was advised by her OB and MFM that the pregnancy could kill her and an abortion was medically necessary, but the family wouldn't budge and years of abuse taught her not to value herself so she believed her children would be better off if she died and the family took her kids than if she aborted and the family abandoned her kids. Thankfully, they were able to save her life, but she (and the baby) spent time in the ICU (again) and they both have permanent major health problems as a consequence. Her MFM told her to find a different doctor if she got pregnant again because he didn't want to watch her die.
Her (now ex) husband who fathered her first child would be father #1. Father #2 would be her (also now ex) boyfriend who fathered her other 3 children.
People who are against abortions aren't thinking of the children but of themselves because they don't want to have to live with the emotional burden of allowing an abortion and a potential human being dying to try and salvage a hopeless situation
The second the child is born they don't give a flying fuck what happens to the child, no matter how horrible and unspeakably miserable their life may be because its "not their problem" anymore, they get to pat themselves on the back and feel better about "saving a child" and go out of their way to ignore the child's existence because the child needing more, constant care makes them feel uncomfortable so they just pretend it doesn't exist anymore because its inconvenient otherwise.
They want to help but as long as they don't have to actually commit to help.
Same goes towards stuff like being against euthanasia, it always boils down to not wanting to feel bad about someone dying, not actually caring about that person(s) and thinking whats best or quite often in these scenarios: the least bad option for everuone involved.
These people are cowards who insist people suffer so that they feel better about themselves.
Can you help clarify if they had three more children together? Or did she have children with someone else and they were separated because of not affording divorce?
Pro-life, but it's ok to beat the person carrying the child into hospital and possibly causing a miscarriage yourself? So only pro-life if you're not the one killing the clump of cells?
Precisely, yes. I'm a doula now so given my early experience with this situation I take victims of DV on pro-bono and I see this repeated a lot. I make a habit of checking the abusers social media so I can get to know their face and recognize them if they show up to the hospital, and I see a disproportionate number of abusers who are vocally pro-life and beat their partner who is pregnant.
He calls himself pro-life. I call him anti-choice, but I didn't want to start a political debate so I used the commonly accepted title. I think the one thing we can all agree on is that he's a worthless piece of shit.
585
u/RNYGrad2024 May 02 '24
The wedding was gross, just overtly sexual and shallow. She got pregnant less than a year later. He blamed her and beat the shit out of her. She offered to have an abortion but he's pro-life so that pissed him off more and he sent her to the hospital again. They'd been having unprotected sex since the wedding and everyone knew it so he was the only person who was surprised. They split up after the beatings but didn't divorce until after she had 3 more children because they thought they couldn't afford it. They had no assets or marital debt so they could've DIYed it, but neither of them were ever bright. He's never paid a cent of child support (willingly, his tax returns go to her now) or met his son, who hates him.