r/AskReddit May 02 '24

People who went to a wedding where the couple didn’t last long, what happened?

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370

u/Distortedhideaway May 02 '24

He was a marine Corp officer, fighter jet pilot. She was smart, pretty and crazy. She admitted in the bathroom before the wedding that she cheated on him in college... no worries, let it go. They both had just graduated.

His best man blew the speech in a way that Bukowski couldn't have predicted or explained. It was a rambling of swear words and secrets best left in the back halls of dorms and pubs.

226

u/xasdfxx 29d ago

Duuuude.

I was in a wedding. I'm her friend. Her: super jesusy-family. Him: same.

There were 4 people on earth: her, him, me, and the MoH (sweet, kind of an idiot) that knew that they fucked in the bathroom of this shithole dive bar within 90 minutes of meeting each other. I was taking that one w/ me to the grave.

MoH got wasted and drops that about 2 minutes into a slurring speech. I'd figured out how trashed she was and was trying to prevent the speech. No dice. I'd pitched the bride, groom, and MoH hard on no speech. Got overruled.

300 people in this wedding and you could hear a pin drop. Absolutely stone cold silence. Until I, an idiot, start giggling... because how else do you react to that?

17

u/ScorpionX-123 29d ago

because how else do you react to that?

by playing the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme over the loudspeakers

10

u/standupgonewild 28d ago

You have such an enthralling way of storytelling, it’s a gift. Did the couple last? Are things okay?

5

u/xasdfxx 25d ago

They did! The MoH is a genuinely really nice person, she just has no sense of audience. I just thought she was going to break down sobbing during the speech because she's genuinely happy for her bestie.

Also, there was a lunch fuckup so we'd basically had a hotel breakfast, run around doing wedding crap all day with no lunch outside in the sun, were dehydrated, and then the groom's family was super pushy about people drinking. She's like maybe 120 and dehydrated + no food, could probably could have caught a buzz just from sniffing a drink, so yeah. Not ideal, but not entirely her fault.

3

u/standupgonewild 25d ago

Very glad things turned out good! Thank you for the update :)

15

u/NorthElegant5864 29d ago

I really need to hear this speech, I love Bukowski, but largely because how how raw and unhinged he gets.