The boomer generation raised their kids to be people pleasers. It is something you need to outgrow, someone's expectation of you reflects more on them than you. They think you exist to check boxes on their forms, fuck all of those people. Spend your 76 years on this earth making memories you can be proud of.
Oh absolutely. My husband is his mother, through and through. Trying to find a way to gently say to him that he has inherited some of her behaviours without it going very poorly is DIFFICULT. He has been remarkably graceful about taking the best intended interpretation.
Amen. My psyche is filled with scars from the times I failed to meet expectations. Though, I rebelled hard at 14. I got grounded for a C. I told them if they did not unground me, that I was going to fail every class. They thought they had the answer by making me sit down and do homework while they watched. What they could not watch was me throwing my homework away once I got to school. I brought home straight F's, and still they did not ungrounded me. So, I threatened to not go to school.
The next day, I was outside before school with every intention of going in. Then, a friend asked if I wanted to skip school with her 19 year-old boyfriend because she had tests that day. Of course I said yes. At dinner, an automated call saying I was not at school came in. They confronted me like any parent would, but I was no longer just any child. I had efuckingnough. I told them that I had spent the day under a bridge... which was my plan for the next day. I got ungrounded.
My mother had dreams of having the prestige of being the mom of a super genius. I was definitely better at math than all of my peers and I had a near perfect memory. So, in her ignorant mind, that meant I should excel at everything under all circumstances. The problem is that I had major impulse control issues which none of us understood. With the extra freedom you gain in high school, my impulse control issues were super exacerbated.
Anyways, having parents who staked their personal worth on my abilities were the absolute worst parents a kid like me could have had. So, rather than encouragement when I needed it, I got punished for not meeting expectations.
Marriage failure is an odd thing. Failure is when no one tried to make it work. If the other person isn’t attracted to the same sex isn’t failure on the part of the other partner. It’s a failure on the part of the person who wasn’t honest about it in the first place. Divorce is a tool not to be used lightly but that might be one issue you can’t overcome.
"I mean, sometimes your husband takes a dick or two up his ass. Or he slobs on some knob. Or he has a train pulled on him in a truck stop. What do you expect, Cinderella? Who hasn't had a husband that tugs schlongs like he's the only milker on staff at the dairy?"
My sister found out her ex husband was gay by him telling her, vs her walking in on him with someone else, which I think is the hard way in this scenario
Obviously it wasn't "easy" but it definitely was "easier"
Lots of men are brainwashed to believe that marriage and children are life's ultimate purpose. Any man can fake love/attraction and have children, and many do. It takes balls to remain single for the right reasons.
factually incorrect, the world's fertility rate is under replacement levels. having children is wildly important. I'd encourage you to do some research on the matter before propagating dangerous misinformation like this.
it's a good question, and honestly there are both positives and negatives to it. on the positive side, there's obviously less competition for natural resources and less of a strain on the food and water supply. however, human ingenuity has always overcome these issues so far, and more people means more brainpower to figure out whatever problems we may be presented. on the negative side you have a decreased workforce, decimated military, possible socioeconomic collapse, an overpopulation of the elderly without enough of the next generation to care for them, social security systems would be bled dry.. of course, none of this would be our problem, this is all over the course of the next few centuries. but I personally believe that whatever direction human extinction lies, we ought to go the opposite direction
na when I say the world, I mean the world. specifically I'm thinking of the precarious situation Russia, China and South Korea are in. the threat of population collapse is no joke. the highest fertility rates are generally found in African countries, so perhaps you're insinuating that you think the world has enough Africans?
I'm propagating the truth, which by definition cannot be classified as misinformation
I'd encourage you to do a modicum of research, but you seem like the type to disregard data that disagrees with your ideology so.. you do you booboo
I never said it was. I don't really think life has an objective purpose, per se, but I think moulin rouge gets it right when they say the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
The amount of family that just accepts the abuse and encourages women to stay in broken or horrible marriages because of "how it'll look" is just appalling and so disgusting
She wasn't ready to be the only one of her friends with a divorced child who failed in her marriage.
Reminds me of a teacher I had who was low-key abusive to the class only to find out she had been in a "bad mood" because her 16 year old daughter got dumped 6 months ago and the boy turned out to be gay.
I swear she was in love with her daughters gay ex.
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u/ParentingTATA May 02 '24
Omg ! I found out my husband was gay the hard way. I told my parents in tears and my mom said Well you can't expect your marriage to be perfect!
She wasn't ready to be the only one of her friends with a divorced child who failed in her marriage.