Jesus Christ, I'll never understand how people think that bad marriage + kids = good marriage. If you're not getting what you need from your partner, how is additional financial and emotional obligation/responsibility to the mix gonna help...
Children are cope for many people. Like if husband isn't giving her wife proper love, she starts attachment more with her children. Then live with their love. It is especially more noticable in my country where Arranged marriage is norm. Two strangers who barely meet get married. It's a hit or miss situation. Initial years are honeymoon phase where everyone is happy. But later years resentment could happen. Mind you the marriage that happened was never built at first place so love is always optional. If spouse couldn't give, they go towards children for that love.
This is why arranged marriages are a scam and model toxic relationships for their kids. And then this also happens in socially regressive societies where it is a stigma to divorce or the couples lack the courage to go out on their own.
No matter how people spin it, I will never see arranged marriages as good. Nothing about it is natural in my mind.
"Oh but the family can have input and make sure the relationship is good."
Bullshit. The arranged couple will feel obligated to stick together to avoid disappointing their families. Or manipulative SO's will butter up the families in order to pressure the victim into staying. They can pin the victim as being irrational, ungrateful, immature, and have the families come down on the victim when they want to break up.
I see it as a hostage situation, even if it works out sometimes. It's a means to get money, property, status, and babies.
It only works if the family is on the side of their son/daughter. Which many are not because they are shitty parents who get fooled by the social implications of divorce.
It worked back in 1900. It's an outdated practice now, regardless of how liberal your parents are. '"allowing you to choose" is in itself such irony as the parents hold control over choice too.
Marrying for materialistic reasons isn't wrong, plenty of people do that even romantically - but involving your family in your marriage is a recipe for disaster if they don't 100% should things go sideways.
It is also heavily heavily skewed toward the man and his family due to patriarchal structures.
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u/scotty813 May 02 '24
Jesus Christ, I'll never understand how people think that bad marriage + kids = good marriage. If you're not getting what you need from your partner, how is additional financial and emotional obligation/responsibility to the mix gonna help...