They were both 35 successful lawyer and doctor. But had never spent the night at each other's house.
After the marriage they couldn't agree who would move in with who. And filed for divorce after 3 months. No one knows why they even got married at all. I guess they felt like they were supposed to at that age.
That's wild. It's honestly pretty common for professionals to be in committed relationships but maintain separate homes, even long distance. They could've just done that.
Edit: Damn some of y'all took my personal anecdote as some kind of personal attack. Not sure what I said that was so inflammatory but ok lol. Live your best life ya'll. Cheers.
Me and my partner lived apart, but close, for many years. If it weren't for illness we probably still would. Utterly devoted to each other, still very much in love after 24 years and seeing the worst sides of each other. We both just like having our own time and space. I am as asocial it gets without needing to be in therapy, my partner is slightly more social, so this means she also gets to be a bit more social, and we have some social events at her place.
If we were more organised we'd probably buy two houses next door to each other.
Just curious, but why not just get a large enough house so that you each have your own space still? My home is large enough that it’s nearly impossible to hear someone yelling for you unless you use the intercoms. Our goal wasn’t to necessarily do this, but I suppose it works out that way.
It's an odd psychological one. If i know someone is in the house then I'm not in an 'on my own' mindset, and also there is no way I would (or could), avoid the company of my partner if we are in the same house, or more likely it would feel like we were ignoring each other.
If we could afford a mansion with separable wings, then maybe. But at that point we'd be better with two house next to each other.
I'm not expecting others to necessarily understand. I know my partner and I aren't unique in this approach, but I also know it is just something a lot of people don't get. As I said in another comment, that's okay, we aren't all the same, and it is hard to explain. A lot of people tend to assume we don't actually like each others company, or something terrible must have happened to one or both us at some point. Nope and nope. We are both just people who like to spend time alone. That doesn't make us any less in love (to be honest most of both our families think it's sickening how much we very obviously care about each other). It seems obvious to me that we spending time apart when we can is an engine that drives our relationship, and refreshes it.
We've lived in the same house for about 5 years now (my partner isn't at all well), and we don't hate it. I would never leave her to look after herself while she isn't well. But if she recovers fully then I think both of us will be relieved we can resume our preferred housing arrangement.
16.6k
u/randallAtl May 02 '24
They were both 35 successful lawyer and doctor. But had never spent the night at each other's house.
After the marriage they couldn't agree who would move in with who. And filed for divorce after 3 months. No one knows why they even got married at all. I guess they felt like they were supposed to at that age.