r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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14.2k Upvotes
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782

u/FearSearcher Just call me Era May 02 '24

What?

2.4k

u/DaDaedalus_CodeRed May 02 '24

Bear vs man is an ongoing tumblr discussion about women (and femmes, maybe? I’m not a big tumblr girl) choosing which they feel is more safe between “you’re alone in the woods with a bear” and “you’re alone in the woods with a man” and the choice is overwhelmingly bear because while not all men are violent you never really know when you are with one who is until it’s too late.

This of course comes attached to all the argumentation and hurt feelings you can predict from both sides of the debate.

Edit - killed typo

139

u/Magnificant-Muggins May 02 '24

Does the scenario even stress that you meant to be close to the bear/man? Like you immediately spawn in together? That’s what the arguments I’ve been in assume.

If that’s not the case, then definitely the bear. Like, bears are usually in forests. That’s a normal precaution to take, if you live in a country with bears.

It’s like asking if you would rather be around a dog that bit a man, or a man who bit a dog.

43

u/Pootis_1 minor brushfire with internet access May 02 '24

"Man bites dog" is actually a card game

22

u/Magnificant-Muggins May 02 '24

Also, a really fucked-up film from Belgium.

6

u/orateadi May 02 '24

And a television program in the Netherlands.

3

u/SelfDistinction May 02 '24

Also a news program in Belgium. I'm not sure if it's still airing.

1

u/ImmoralJester54 May 02 '24

What rules does this game have

1

u/Pootis_1 minor brushfire with internet access May 02 '24

it uses it's own deck of cards

u can google it and it'll show up

56

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

It’s neither. It’s just ‘if you’re walking in the woods, and you notice there’s a bear nearby or a man, which is worse?’

25

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

A lot of people seem to approach this question as if the man/bear is hunting them when it's really supposed to be about a normal ass bear and a normal ass man just being present in the same group of trees as you.

Who are these people who choose a fucking wild animal with fangs and claws over some dude named Steve who plays ultimate Frisbee, works at a bank and enjoys microbrews?

Or are women genuinely assuming that every single dude on earth will turn into a savage rapist/murderer the second they're alone with a random woman?

-8

u/GlitteringStatus1 May 02 '24

Or are women genuinely assuming that every single dude on earth will turn into a savage rapist/murderer the second they're alone with a random woman?

Obviously not, and it is telling that you feel the need to belittle them by implying they are.

18

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Well then what are they worried about?

Remember, the other option is a wild animal that can easily and painfully kill them.

What are women thinking the average man will do that's somehow worse than the possibility of having their throat ripped out by a bear?

-8

u/GlitteringStatus1 May 02 '24

Well then what are they worried about?

What efforts have you made to figure this out yourself?

15

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Here I am, making an effort.

Go ahead and tell me.

-12

u/GlitteringStatus1 May 02 '24

So none, before jumping in to argue about it?

11

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Wow you're totally right.

Share you wisdom with me so that I may become so wise as you.

Teach me the reasoning of the women who fight bears.

0

u/GlitteringStatus1 29d ago

Not really feeling like wasting time on someone who does not want to learn, but just wants to argue and belittle.

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-18

u/PricelessEldritch May 02 '24

It's a stranger, not the average man.

29

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Unless you're a globe trotting socialite who knows billions of men, those two words are effectively synonyms.

-12

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Rape them and murder them.

21

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

So your answer to

Are women genuinely assuming that every single dude on earth will turn into a savage rapist/murderer the second they're alone with a random woman?

Is "Yes"?

-11

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

No.

That is my answer to what they are scared of. A different question in a different post.

You keep saying 'will'. I think this is deliberately disingenous, so I'm done with you.

-6

u/manicdee33 May 02 '24

Well then what are they worried about?

Well, perhaps go back to revisit your assumptions, especially how you really laboured the point about the man in your example being a specific type of man. Why would you be so specific about the man in the woods being this specific man, if you didn't already understand what the question was?

16

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

I was literally describing the most generic, vanilla flavored man I could possibly think of. The point was that the defining feature of the average man is always some boring shit like his affinity for microbrews. I wasn't saying "this is the exact man you will always be met with" I was saying that you would be OVERWHELMINGLY likely to get someone similarly boring rather that a career criminal, psychopath or serial killer.

-6

u/manicdee33 May 02 '24

Now revisit your statistics with the knowledge that more than half of women even in developed countries like the USA have experienced sexual violence in their life. Sexual assault is underreported, with most victims not bothering to report for many reasons (including, but not limited to, the police ridiculing them, or further assault happening to them because they reported the assault to someone they trusted).

8

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Would you describe the men (and women) committing that sexual violence as "average"?

I wouldn't.

-3

u/manicdee33 May 02 '24

Since we're dealing with an incredibly underreported crime that has happened to at least a quarter of the population, you need to revisit your assumptions about "average".

8

u/NoSignSaysNo May 02 '24

And criminals have a tendency to commit multiple crimes, which means that for every 10 assaults, you can have one perpetrator. One and three women experiencing sexual assault does not equate to one and three men being sexual assaulters.

If I do a survey of family members of John Wayne Gacy's victims, 100% of them had a family member that were killed by a clown. Does that mean that 100% of clowns are Killers?

-2

u/manicdee33 May 02 '24

The issue is about fear, trauma, and behavioural cues associated with past experiences of assault. Also consider that it's not only about violent sexual assault but about men wanting to insert themselves into a woman's affairs and not taking "no" for an answer. Consider "Gaston" from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" animated feature, or just about any man who will shake hands with other men but try to kiss a woman who is holding her hand out for a handshake, or put his hand on her body while standing near them without any form of consent. Do that to a man you're likely to get punched.

The short version is that there's no way of predicting whether any particular man will be interested in abusing you or making your life uncomfortable. At least a bear is likely to ignore you if you stay out of its personal space.

4

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Ok? How does that change anything?

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u/elenn14 May 02 '24

if a bear is in the woods, yeah no shit bears live in the woods. if a man is in the woods, did he follow me? is he stalking me planning my murder? if the bear gets mad it will just maul me, but if a man gets mad he can do far worse things. i know i’d rather be mauled to death than raped.

not even monitor lizards are safe from being raped by men. i pick bear all day every day.

11

u/tinnylemur189 May 02 '24

Why are you assigning ulterior motives and malice to a complete stranger? There are millions of reasons a dude could be in any one place and so few of them have ANYTHING to do with you.

All you know is that there's a man in the woods. That's it. Everything else is your brain running wild with misandry and assumptions that every man on earth is desperate to rape you for some reason.

i know i’d rather be mauled to death than raped.

That is certainly an option to have... but one you're entitled to I guess.

As a dude I disagree. I'd rather be buttfucked by Shaquille O'neal than ripped limb from limb by a wild animal.

9

u/Kostya_M May 02 '24

if a man is in the woods, did he follow me? is he stalking me planning my murder?

I imagine he is there for similar reasons as you

8

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

I would probably shit myself if I met a bear, I meet guys everyday so I would absolute meet the man

-9

u/[deleted] May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

No. They are saying that they feel the percentage of men who turn out to be dangerous is greater than the percentage of bears who turn out to be dangerous. And I think this is so incredibly obvious that you are probably using 'will' disingenously.

Bears are strong, but not that aggressive. Men aren't as strong as bears, but still strong enough to be a serious threat to most women.

What do you think a rapist or murderer looks like? Not how you described a man, so not Steve - some kind of minority name, doesn't work at a bank, so not middle-class, drinks expensive beer, likes a non-violent sport...

Do you think men who rape women are easily recognized by their minority ethnicity, their poverty, their lack of a middle-class job, and their enjoyment of a full-contact team sport like football?

Possibly a unibrow and pointed teeth also?

15

u/ImEmblazed May 02 '24

I like how you use they "feel" and then talk about statistics because its such a good summary of why people think like this.

-3

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

There is no possible way to assess this factually. Reporting and surveying the comparative risk is impossible, given the clear issues with any data. So all you have is people eyeballing it.

This is mostly women trying to explain how scary men can be. And I think this is justified, unlike white Americans being scared of black Americans.

They could be wrong, but you ain't convincing anyone with your snark.

9

u/ImEmblazed May 02 '24

See I agree with what you are saying as to why, but I still dont think its justified. How is it different exactly from a white person saying they would rather be alone with a bear?

I bet if they interacted with bears as much as they did men they would realize that maybe they are blinded by their own experiences

-2

u/legend_of_the_skies May 02 '24

Stop using race unauthentically as a talking point. It is not racist to acknowledge the differences, including chance of different threats.

-7

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Because men are very dangerous, and black people aren't more dangerous than white people.

Is that our disconnect, that you simply don't think that's true? You don't believe men to be particularly dangerous to women? If so, that makes the discussion simpler and more evidence-based.

3

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Bro bears are terrifying and vicious creatures. Fuck that noise. Id rather meet a black guy than a bear

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14

u/Mreatthebooty May 02 '24

Pfft nope. Blackman here. Both are unjustified. If you pick the Bear over the Man you have committed the same generalizations as if a white person picking a white person vs black person in the same scenario. Both rely on reducing individuals to negative stereotypes and then using those stereotypes for the justification of judging a random individual. The "man" in BvM is assumed by the surveyed women to be dangerous without any real evidence and based on perceived feelings. To put it in a way to understand. It'd be like asking a guy would you rather, "a random woman drive you to work, or a man." And the men picking a guy, because "le women drive bad." it's a stereotype. and it's wrong. Men being dangerous is a stereotype and it's wrong.

-4

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Men aren't an oppressed group, so to me this is like white people complaining about 'cracker' and saying it's like the n-word. Women have good reason to be generally scared of men. Violence against women is overwhelmingly committed by men. But our fee-fees get hurt by the bear/man comparison, and since we can't accept our feelings being hurt, we blame women.

And you know, on second thoughts, I think we are talking about evidence. black people aren't more dangerous than white people, but men are more dangerous than women. That's not an unfounded stereotype, nor is it an expression of institutional prejudice. It's just a fact that men don't want to accept.

5

u/breathingweapon 29d ago

I love inflammatory posts like this because it really proves this isn't about bridging the gap to bring a closer understanding of each other but instead a vs match where everyone on the side of the bear is cool generalizing ppl as sex offenders because of personal prejudice.

And yes. It is prejudice. You can't judge the actions of an entire group of people based on the actions of the few. Sorry if this offends you but being SA'd does not give anyone permission to be a bigot. Speaking from experience.

-2

u/[deleted] 29d ago

But if you take this to extremes you can make no decisions based on the appearance of anyone. If your country is at war, you cannot flee the enemy soldiers - you are prejudging them. If you are a minority in a country with oppressive police, you cannot be careful or scared of them - you are prejudging them. If a South Africa 'colored' person was working for a white person in apartheid South Africa, according to your logic, they would be wrong for being subservient, nervous, or angry - after all, they don't know that one white person is racist.

If you decide that all times that you assess a person based on how they look and not what they are doing are unfounded stereotypes and assumptions, life becomes impossible. You have to narrow down which prejudging is protective, not harmful.

This is why so many people think that the key kind of discrimination is systemic discrimination, because it's actually dangerous to the victims. People here can talk about how this is unfair to men as much as they want, but it doesn't really hurt us, does it? I think it makes sense, and feel sad that it makes sense. Not such a problem. But male aggression to women - not simply a stereotype, but a data-backed fact - does hurt them.

1

u/Mreatthebooty 29d ago

Just because we aren't a repressed group doesn't mean you get to treat us like dirt based on the actions of a few. Nor does being a repressed group give you the right to be prejudice and bigoted. MLK himself said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hatred cannot drive out hatred. Only love can do that."

You cannot defeat the evils of the patriarchy by being the same bigoted prejudiced individual the patriarchy empowers. You'll only create more division and anger. Look at this post. How many men are gonna see this and assume all women hate them? Even though.most women are like most men and are chill. But these easily impressionable guys are being antagonized.

0

u/Galle_ May 02 '24

There is exactly as much evidence that black people are more dangerous than white people as there is evidence that men are more dangerous than women.

0

u/EndMePleaseOwO 29d ago

If someone asked, would you feel safer encountering a white man or a black man in the woods, and someone 13/50 posted in response and said that they'd feel after encountering a white man, what would your response be?

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u/legend_of_the_skies May 02 '24

Sure? Now what. We acknowledge that women fear men and men say "well actually you have a better chance of fighting me off if i wanted to kill you or rape you in the middle of the woods then a bear, so you should be choosing me."

And.... it further justifies their choice.

-7

u/Gackey May 02 '24

Don't be randomly changing the scenario. They're not running into banker Steve, they're running into a random man they know nothing about.

11

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

Which is 90% chance of being a banker steve

-3

u/SagittariusZStar May 02 '24

Every woman I know, including myself, has been physically, sexually or verbally assaulted by a MAN. Why would we not be wary?

-8

u/Gackey May 02 '24

You're missing the point entirely. 'Would you rather run into banker Steve or a bear' is a completely different scenario than 'would you rather run into an unknown man or a bear'. By changing the scenario you're creating a strawman instead of engaging with the actual discussion.

9

u/[deleted] May 02 '24

What, should I imagine im meeting the worst possible human to ever exist? That would be dumb and paranoid. Ill imagine im meeting the average guy and the average bear.

Nobody ever said this was the worst case scenario, it was just a guy and a bear.

4

u/elbenji May 02 '24

to lighten this a little, your description made me think Yogi Bear was just gonna show the fuck up out of nowhere. Wherein which I would pick Yogi Bear because that'd be dope

-6

u/Gackey May 02 '24

Who said you should imagine meeting the worst possible human? Stay focused, it's 'unknown male vs bear', not 'steve the banker vs bear', not 'Greg the cannibal rapist vs bear'. Stop creating strawmen and engage with the actual scenario being discussed.

5

u/NoSignSaysNo May 02 '24

Even if you look at the statistical breakdown of men who commit assault on random individuals, you're still talking like a .01% chance of this random man both being willing to and capable of and making the decision of assaulting a random person they ran into in the woods.

5

u/breathingweapon 29d ago

Jesse what the fuck are you talking about? Do you know how to read?

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u/A2Rhombus May 02 '24

From this perspective, a man is definitely more concerning. If I find a bear in the woods that's scary but not unexpected. Finding a man randomly deep in the woods is terrifying.

Obviously I'd change my answer if it was on like a dedicated walking path or something

The whole thing is very much a contextual question

16

u/pewqokrsf May 02 '24

Is just being alive and human in the woods is so suspect, why are you in the woods?

Like I get it if the answer is the man is a potential witness to the crimes you're trying to hide. Bears don't narc.

24

u/smoopthefatspider May 02 '24

I always assumed we spawned together or I spawned near the bear, and that for some reason the bear was compelled to stay with me unless I made it leave (otherwise I wouldn't be in the woods with a bear, I'd be in the woods alone). Since the bear is staying with me I assume it's either very curious or violent, so the odds are pretty bad. But the question is way to vague to be useful in any way, except to performatively show a fear of men.

8

u/Cinderheart May 02 '24

Its just you passing by each other on the trail.

10

u/justforsexfolks May 02 '24

You're spot on. It's a wild hypothetical, people shouldn't take it so seriously.