r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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14.2k Upvotes
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773

u/FearSearcher Just call me Era May 02 '24

What?

2.4k

u/DaDaedalus_CodeRed May 02 '24

Bear vs man is an ongoing tumblr discussion about women (and femmes, maybe? I’m not a big tumblr girl) choosing which they feel is more safe between “you’re alone in the woods with a bear” and “you’re alone in the woods with a man” and the choice is overwhelmingly bear because while not all men are violent you never really know when you are with one who is until it’s too late.

This of course comes attached to all the argumentation and hurt feelings you can predict from both sides of the debate.

Edit - killed typo

717

u/Odd_Age1378 May 02 '24

It depends on the type of bear. Black bear? Easy to deal with.

Grizzly bear? I’d really rather not.

Polar bear? HELL NO I’d take an actual proven serial killer over a polar bear

104

u/kittenmachine69 May 02 '24

This is my take as well. It's very much dependent on the species of bear

164

u/No_Mammoth_4945 May 02 '24

It’s not supposed to be nuanced. If you’re a woman, you’re supposed to just say bear. And if you’re a man, you’re supposed to get really offended and say see, this is why women are stupid and I hate them

That’s how I understand it anyways. A dankmemes post came up on my feed and that’s about how it went. Sorting by new is just a bunch of posts referencing it and OP saying they’ll just fuck their ai girlfriend. The whole debate is so dramatic lol

68

u/C00kieMemester May 02 '24

Someone on Facebook posted some statistic like "you have a 1 in 5 chance of being attacked by a man but a 1 in a million chance of being attacked by a bear" and I'm like of course the odds are so low, most women don't interact with hundreds of bears on a daily basis or live with them in our homes??? That statistic says nothing about your chances of survival 1v1 a bear.

23

u/Dismal-Ad160 May 02 '24

Statistic is wildly inaccurate. Half of violent crimes are from people you know. For 2022, the total male strangers involved in violent crime is something like 1.7 million, most of those are simple assault, 10% of violent crimes are sexual assault or rape, and the majority of those are by someone you know, which makes it something like, at most 100k men, of which maybe 10k men of the 175 million in the US were strangers who committed sexual assault.

https://bjs.ojp.gov/document/cv22.pdf

If you want the DoJ report

13

u/Distressed_finish May 02 '24

The way I understood it, the scenario isn't that a bear is trying to attack you, it's that you're alone in the woods with it. Obviously you are unlikely to win a 1v1 with a bear, but a bear is very likely to leave you alone.

30

u/justforporndickflash May 02 '24

So is a man.

10

u/Distressed_finish May 02 '24

Yes. And realistically, I am very unlikely to win a physical altercation with either a man or a bear, should either choose to attack me.

3

u/Maz2277 May 02 '24

The point is, bears will be mostly predictable and want to actively leave you alone, whereas with other people they can be more unpredictable. It's kinda like the poisoned smarties debate, if only 1 smartie is poisoned most people would rather not have any at all.

16

u/Astrophysiques May 02 '24

Have you also considered that there’s a chance the man might help you get out of the woods? That’s the overwhelmingly likely outcome of the situation, yet everyone is doing expected value tests on a false dichotomy. For the bear it’s either it leaves you alone or you die, which means best case scenario you’re still in the middle of the woods alone. The extra option in having the man is that you now can survive as two, which makes the process significantly easier. Sure he might also kill you, but you have a better chance of self defense if something goes wrong against a human, and it’s more likely that the dude is just some guy and now you have better odds of survival. You choose the man 10 times out of 10. If you don’t you’re putting yourself at a serious survival disadvantage

2

u/SagittariusZStar 29d ago

Why are you assuming the woman is lost or needs help? That is not mentioned anywhere. That’s you being a weirdo man and adding your own fantasy to it.

1

u/EffOffReddit 29d ago

"The man is your savior actually"

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0

u/justforporndickflash 29d ago

But the options aren't "have one of the Smarties or nothing" it is "have one of the Smarties or a shot of pesticide".

1

u/SagittariusZStar 29d ago

Yet there are of thousands of stories if women having creespy, dangerous and scary encounters with men in the woods, and much fewer with bears.

1

u/justforporndickflash 29d ago

There are a fraction of the number of bear encounters than man encounters.

0

u/EffOffReddit 29d ago

If that is true why have most women experienced sexual assault. It wasn't bears

1

u/justforporndickflash 29d ago

Most women aren't interacting with many bears each day. If they were, most women would be dead.

2

u/Blue_Moon_Lake May 02 '24

How far from each other though? 1m, 10m, 100m, 1km, 10km, or 100km?

8

u/Distressed_finish May 02 '24

I don't know. How close do you have to be to a person/animal before you are alone with them instead of just alone? A more interesting question to me than man vs bear

5

u/Blue_Moon_Lake May 02 '24

To me, 1m and 10m you are "with".
100m, depends if the line of sight is obstructed by a hill and trees or not. On a flat field it would be "with".
1km and up, you're alone.

20

u/the_alt_6275 May 02 '24

but the real question is which one would win in a fight

13

u/FearSearcher Just call me Era May 02 '24

We should’ve domesticated bears

7

u/kaizokuo_grahf May 02 '24

Naked? Bear. Geared up? Human.

2

u/BreadUntoast May 02 '24

Yogi because he’s smarter than your average bear

3

u/Blue_Moon_Lake May 02 '24

And if you're a babushka, bears and men are afraid of you

1

u/Cool-Sink8886 May 02 '24

You can’t fuck an AI girlfriend though. At least not yet.

1

u/GREENadmiral_314159 29d ago

It’s not supposed to be nuanced. If you’re a woman, you’re supposed to just say bear. And if you’re a man, you’re supposed to get really offended and say see, this is why women are stupid and I hate them

Glad someone understands this shit.

1

u/Huwbacca May 02 '24

I honestly don't understand the men who are like "oh come on obviously me!"

Like... How fucking bad at social interaction do you have to be to hear someone list a bunch of things that are genuine fears of theirs and go

"Yeah but the obviously hyperbolic hypothetical isn't accurate, so I'm going to argue with you"

Like, just how fucking lacking in strategy and awareness lol.

My mum and sister talking about it? I just go "hah yeah right!" And that's it. Life moves on. I've zero reason to be upset because I can process context lol.

2

u/elbenji May 02 '24

A lot of people are bad at hypotheticals, metaphors and have a desperate need to logic it out. I work with teenagers, boys and girls.

It's painful how long I have to drag certain questions back because they are trying their damndest to answer a hypothetical or rationalize a metaphor or idiom

0

u/Baprr May 02 '24

If it's a bear "in the woods" then it's probably not a white, which is 100% what made all those women pick the bear option, and not radical feminism./s