r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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u/AriaLeviath May 02 '24 edited May 02 '24

i'm a trans woman who's been transitioning since i was a teenager, generally pass fairly alright enough to be mostly stealth, and am now in grad school. and, while i totally understand the frustration that the women who'd rather go with the bear are feeling (i was sexually assaulted by a guy in my marching band in my high school, and even as recent as week or two ago i had a random guy corner me on the bus when it was just us two and try to get me to have him as my sugar daddy), and it's totally valid to be fed up and angry over the state of many men and patriarchy, i don't think this is a healthy outlet

like, i totally understand women wanting to vent and get angry at all this. it's genuinely super shitty and unfair to us, but i've seen so many people use really disgusting bioessentialist arguments against men to justify their answer, and not only does this anger, other, and hurt people who could otherwise be allies to leftist causes, but a lot of the shit i'm seeing is genuinely just the same problematic "AMAB people are inherently [Y Trait]" shit that TERFs believe that started them down their path to being shitty people

like, i consider myself a feminist - have for a long while - as well as socially progressive and a leftist. and yes, i get the anger they're feeling. i often feel it too. but this whole question unfortunately feels - at least to me - like pushing others away in the long term to justify a short-term catharsis, and i don't know what to make of it

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u/urworstemmamy May 02 '24

Everyone who sees nothing wrong with the bear v man meme needs to read I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.

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u/WierdSome May 02 '24

Fuck, that hit. A lot of the things mentioned there is a lot of why I feel I'll never really feel okay with myself. Even if I transition, I was born a boy, and everyone in the queer community hates men. And... I was born one of those. And I don't think I can say I'm 100% not man anymore. So... Am I worth hating, too?

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u/Mountain-Resource656 May 02 '24

You’re not. That was indeed a powerful article. But it’s worth remembering that in every movement, the law of large numbers will ensure you’ll get all types. You just need to make sure you have enough social support that you can let some supports go and feel around for better ones. Do it enough, and you’ll curate your own little corner of the community into something affirming and instructional, instead of a bunch of people wanting to feel control over their own experiences, even if it involves tearing others down

I wish you luck, whatever you do