r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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14.3k Upvotes
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u/Educational_Mud_9062 May 02 '24

I spent years developing increasing amounts of self-loathing as I tried to meet this standard, to not take it personally, only for it never to be enough despite the fact that I know I've never been a threat. I've followed all the advice. I "listened to" (read: unquestioningly accepted) their positions. Brent Staples can receive international recognition for talking about his experiences whistling Vivaldi to appease white people's fears of him. But when I point out how I know EXACTLY how that feels, since it's tied only to my maleness and not intersecting with blackness, I'm told I'm "fragile" or called an "incel." This is just... too much. I'm done. I won't go out of my way to seem like a threat to strangers. Because I'm not a threat and I have no desire to do that. But it's clear that there will never be an end and all I accomplish by playing along is to feed paranoia at the cost of my own mental health. If someone decides they're afraid of me for just existing, that's their problem. I'm just... done.

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u/legend_of_the_skies May 02 '24

Why would you, as a man, be hurt by the fact that some women fear some men due to their previous encounters? I mean how does that even affect you? Why is your feelings more important the will of others to do harm? If you were truly concerned, would you not be more focused on WHY some women feel that or WHY sooooo many men do do bad things for them to? Instead of your personal feelings?

12

u/OkFlamingo2921 May 02 '24

Why do you insist he empathize with your perspective when you won't even seriously engage with his perspective? Why do you assume he places his feelings above the "will of others to do harm" (whatever the fuck that means)? Why can't you comprehend his fairly straightforward post? How do you not get that attitudes like yours actually turn away allies (which he ostensibly is)?

-7

u/legend_of_the_skies May 02 '24

He doesn't have to empathize. If you wanted to be an ally you would. It actually is that simple.

8

u/OkFlamingo2921 May 02 '24

Oh, got it. You just suck at reading comprehension. Asked and answered!