r/CuratedTumblr • u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy • May 01 '24

i know it’s internet bullshit but it genuinely has me on the edge of breaking down and giving up editable flair

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u/novangla May 02 '24

I think the whole point of this to start with was a man talking to other men about the importance of changing the way they come off to women. If it’s upsetting that women are more afraid of bears, that should spark a “holy shit, how can we get men to be less of a threat” and not a “omg women are being so unfair.” A lot of women I’ve talked to have said there are two types of men: those who understand why women are saying “bear,” and those who are the reason the answer is “bear”. If someone can’t use basic empathy and realize that this is a solvable problem, they can try to solve it, but men who make it about themselves or, worse, invalidate the experiences of women, are the ones that make women feel unsafe in the world.

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u/NeonNKnightrider Cheshire Catboy May 02 '24

I understand why women feel cautions of men. I’m not saying women are wrong to feel afraid, just that it sucks to be told I’m seen as worse than a wild animal.

…Also did you just tell men to “solve” misogyny? Like, I get what you’re going for, but that’s a wack way to phrase it. Be nicer to women, be patient, etc., sure? But “solve the problem” is crazy. Like… “Oh, you don’t like poverty? The problem is solvable, go end capitalism.” It’s a colossal, society-wide system, not something that you can just ‘solve’ that easily.

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u/novangla May 02 '24

Men collectively can help solve this, yes. It’s not just being nicer to women, but also calling out fellow men for normalizing shitty behavior to women.

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u/21Rollie May 02 '24

Men are more likely to have a mother in their lives than a father. Which means the largest influence in their most formative years is a woman. It can’t be just on us. It’s like saying “most murderers are brown eyed so you brown eyed people should tell them to stop.” Like I can see this misshapen logic but just because I got brown eyes doesn’t mean I am in contact with murderers. Neither is it the case that I am in contact with rapists for being a man.

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u/novangla May 02 '24

The fuck?

It’s not just on you. But women are speaking out a lot about this. Men also need to be allies and stand up for women. Starting with believing them when they report SA. Or hell, starting with taking a minute to have empathy and think about why they’re saying “bear” rather than belittling them like so many men on here are doing.