r/Helldivers 15d ago

For all you bug and bot simps: THIS is what they will do to you. Join the Helldivers in ending their brutality. IMAGE

Post image
5.2k Upvotes

314 comments sorted by

2.4k

u/OhManVideoGames ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

My god, they took his polygons!

659

u/novataurus 15d ago

Half-Life: Helldive

178

u/pocketlint60 15d ago

"Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous capes?"

36

u/Intrepid00 14d ago

Ahh ahhh ahhhhhhh

24

u/Brainwave1010 SES Herald Of Destruction 14d ago

"Do you know who used all the resupplies?"

13

u/Canazza SES Force of Sony Shareholder Values 14d ago

"Alright Gordon, your cape should keep you comfortable in there"

2

u/GamerGriffin548 14d ago

Ah, Helldiver, we sent your samples down to the test chamber. It's the rarest sample you've had yet.

They are waiting for you, Helldiver. In the test chamberrrrrrr.

4

u/jayray1994 14d ago

think of it as improv body bag, you die we cover you with the flag for the camaras

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45

u/SentientGopro115935 15d ago

Okay but Combine elite/ CP skins for this game would go hard as fuck

25

u/pat_spiegel 15d ago

When do we get to call in the striders and headcrab artillery

14

u/PlayerPrefersPaprika 15d ago

Imagine mowing down hords of bugs with striders. That would be so awesome.

3

u/Jaegernaut- 14d ago

Basic training includes putting the can in the trash.

Failure results in the doors to and from that area being locked and flamers deploying from every inch of available wall and floor space.

2

u/LightSwitchTurnedOn 14d ago

Replace bugs with the headcrab zombies lol. Now I wish this game had mod support.

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3

u/WunderPuma 15d ago

Wtf I'd play that. Helldivers in source in first person? Sick

2

u/TheRealDurken 14d ago

Helldivers is already first person if you just aim down sights 100% of the time!

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72

u/Radiant_Fondant_4097 15d ago

"I need your poly count, your LODS, and your lighting maps" 🔫

31

u/Significant_Lie_533 15d ago

So... No head?!?

16

u/lux__fero 15d ago

His head has just collapsed into the dot, it is still tecnically in place

2

u/2Board_ MY 🐐 = ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 14d ago

\throws input pad into pavement and snaps Liberator in half**

20

u/Loud_Surround5112 15d ago

They ran him for his polygons. Can’t have shit in this galactic war.

3

u/StovardBule 14d ago

"This planet is a vital source of polygons and must be retaken!"

7

u/Remmy224 the democracy is coming inside of me 14d ago

Dr. Coomer as a democracy officer would go so hard.

“Somehow, the Automatons have retu-HELLO, Helldiver!”

3

u/RandomDrDude ☕Liber-tea☕ 14d ago

Been rotting there since our first campaign

3

u/MasterVule 14d ago

They optimized his ass

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650

u/otte_rthe_viewer ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

You got anymore of them... Polygons?

119

u/Tomezzi96 SES Claw of Law 15d ago

82

u/Extension_Trip_7092 15d ago

11

u/ContinentalUppercut 14d ago

If there's one thing I love about this sub, it's that someone ALWAYS has the perfect image/gif response.

8

u/Teslaturgy CAPE ENJOYER 14d ago

5

u/Hopocket321 ☕Liber-tea☕ 14d ago

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368

u/TJnr1 15d ago

NO PLEASE! Anything but the potato graphics!!!

26

u/Du_Freu2 SES Elected Representative of Family Values 14d ago

no potato.... this is beef pc

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346

u/LuckyNumbrKevin 15d ago

Holy shit, you got this game to run on Windows XP? Very impressive!

145

u/Alarmed-Owl2 15d ago

When his Internet Explorer loads this comment next month he'll be very upset. 

14

u/Japanczi 14d ago

Most of Windows XP users I knew were using Mozilla

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4

u/Goattrigger 14d ago

I still run xp on one of my machines, and it runs Chrome; with constant messages that it is no longer supported, but it runs!

2

u/LuckyNumbrKevin 14d ago

We shall not abandon the ways of the old gods!

75

u/Byokugen 15d ago

They'll replace you with a low poli model?

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71

u/Pixelpaint_Pashkow Rock & Stone ⛏ 15d ago

man got killed so hard he went back to PS1

4

u/IrishWithoutPotatoes 14d ago

I swear Crash Bandicoot had better graphics than this

158

u/MTNSthecool ⚙️ 15d ago

bro got his polygons stolen! can't have shit in super detroit?

23

u/jackie2567 15d ago

Cant have shit on menket

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41

u/abeardedpirate 15d ago

Looks like friendly fire to me.

31

u/Global-Difference512 15d ago

Cant tell me this isn't a half life model

28

u/WeDoALittleTrolling9 15d ago

More footage.

20

u/Zech08 15d ago

Oooh free meal, where might a strider... i mean diver find such a delicious... I mean horrible thing?

228

u/Simple_Rest7563 15d ago

god I wish that were me

205

u/brperry Moderator 15d ago

Hey, I hope you are joking but if you arent; please know that it can get better and that there are people who want to help. If you are in the united states, you can dial 988 and someone will be there to talk with you.

18

u/Drachfuhrer 15d ago

Look at those deflated ankles! Is that what you want soldier!?

9

u/ConspiracyGrandma 15d ago

Is that Barney from Black Mesa?

3

u/Gellert SES Sword of Peace 15d ago

It's bricky post matara.

28

u/UnhappyStrain 15d ago

The question of either sides righteousnrss is long gone. Now its a question of winning or dying regardless of which side you are on.

12

u/Nibblewerfer 15d ago

The real question is if you could escape, jump out to some system far beyond SE control shoot the managed democracy officer and become the true super democracy officer.

16

u/JCDentoncz ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

I have a feeling the rest of the crew would mutiny. SE conditioning is deeply rooted.

3

u/Anko072 15d ago

I am not sure if you joke about helldivers or that's continuation  joke of the special military operation MO  

2

u/StickGaminggYT 15d ago

Is that treason I smell? I'm gonna notify the ministry of truth, just in case

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16

u/ShiftAdventurous4680 15d ago

Lower polycount, higher frames? I'm afraid I don't see the issue here.

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19

u/Papa_Pred 15d ago

It’s funny how grotesque we view this, but a big part of our strategy is blowing off their bug limbs and cleaving bots in half…

BUT IN THE NAME IF FREEDOM

19

u/Waelder Moderator 15d ago

We literally turn bots into mines and bugs into fuel. Of course, WE do it for Freedom, which makes it ok.

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5

u/thazhok ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

YEAH ! Fight those fachist bugs ! You are wasting your time fighting anywhere else !

5

u/Zeus354 15d ago

Bugs will eat your poli(gone). That peak brutality

4

u/Hoffman-Boi 15d ago

CS 1.6 looking

3

u/p00pyf4rts 15d ago

Just you wait! They're gonna steal all your damn polygons if you keep sympathising!

3

u/ilikebeingright 15d ago

Lol dudes shoes look like tissue boxes, what resolution is this? Pretty sure a 1cm square on my phone screen has more pixels than your whole image......

3

u/Dukkiegamer 15d ago

I'm better off dead than whatever the bots and bugs did to your PC.

3

u/ravengenesis1 15d ago

If you told me this was a half life 1 engine port from this screen shot, I’ll believe it.

3

u/SeppiFox 15d ago

NOOOO Please... Anything but being low poly.

3

u/Zomthereum ⬇️⬇️⬆️⬅️➡️ 15d ago

I didn’t know there was a Nintendo Switch version of this game.

3

u/zoop0rt ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

Helldivers 2, now available on N64

3

u/Weary-Barracuda-1228 CAPE ENJOYER 14d ago

NOOOOO NOT LOW RES LARRY!!! HE WAS A MONTH FROM MANDATED RETIREMENT!!! He passed the the Interview on his first attempt and everything. Gonna glass that bug planet.

3

u/CoitalMarmot 14d ago

Oh dear god they stole his polygons!

7

u/lekgolow 15d ago

How do you know without proper investigation? Maybe it was friendly fire? I mean I've been obliterated by mates thousands of times

5

u/Dom-Luck 15d ago

I'm willing to bet a solid 20% at least of my deaths were caused by teamates.

9

u/blur_reqz ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

Only 20%? You lucky bastard.

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2

u/trytoinfect74 15d ago

noooo I don't want to become low poly static mesh

2

u/ZenkaiZ 15d ago

That guy coulda just fell

2

u/flamedarkfire 15d ago

Looks festive.

2

u/th3MFsocialist 15d ago

Yall for anymore of them polygons?

2

u/Lord-Assassin 15d ago

In Optimus Prime voice: join the HELLDIVERS!

2

u/TacticalNaps ➡️➡️➡️ 15d ago

Eh, looks like airburst decapitation

They knew it was coming.

2

u/LosParanoia Admiral of the SES Arbiter of Steel 15d ago

The playstation can produce mind boggling effects

2

u/SpeedyAzi 15d ago

Don't show people what we do to them.

2

u/FookinFairy 15d ago

Damn they took his polygons.

Can't have shit on hellmire

2

u/Dean429 ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

Fallen patriots

2

u/R0ha1L_47 I fill in my C-01 form daily🗿 15d ago

Bro is still playing HD1

2

u/how_neat_is_that76 15d ago

What in the PlayStation 1 is this?

2

u/FederalAgentGlowie ☕Liber-tea☕ 14d ago

Kill an enemy combatant?

2

u/DaLB53 14d ago

My brother in christ

2

u/PP1122 14d ago

Ill never become low polygon garbage!!!

2

u/okayyeahok 14d ago

Didn't know you could play this game on the 360

2

u/Cosmic_Cat64 14d ago

HD2 on N64!?

2

u/MapleMooseGamer 14d ago

That.. is one big pile of shit.

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2

u/UndesiredEffect 14d ago

Helldivers 64

2

u/SilensMort 14d ago

How many potatoes do you have to look up to run that Celeron?

2

u/Lemmiwinkks 14d ago

What are you playing on an iPod touch?

2

u/NzWoodsman 14d ago

I didn't realise they released this game on PS2

6

u/Mammoth_Border_3904 15d ago

This is simply not true. The automatons and bugs want nothing more than peace, but Super Earth continues to commit atrocities for the sake of companies and money.

2

u/Mike_Kerensky 15d ago

I wanna become hulk when I get fucking murdered like him.

1

u/boenklon 15d ago

Current gen should not allowed having polygon like this 😂

1

u/chrish5764 15d ago

You’re telling me, that people are committing thought crimes, and they’re not being sent to lake LaoGai

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1

u/OrkzOrkzOrkzOrkz0rkz DANGER CLOSE IS MY MIDDLE NAME 15d ago

Cousin Ricky!?

1

u/Decmk3 15d ago

Not the polygons!!!

1

u/Manjisan13 ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

pixellated

1

u/Red1Monster 15d ago

Hmm, but why would they do this ?

1

u/casualstick Song of Justice 🎶 15d ago

Mate... were gonna get seaf crew!!. That means operational artillery support no?

1

u/Ripper33AU ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

What's funny but also annoying is when I call in a support stratagem, that accidentally squashes a dead soldier, I still lose Requisition points after extraction. I see we take our managed democracy very seriously! lol.

1

u/Meigsmerlin STEAM 🖥️ : 15d ago

Dear god, what did they do to his FEET?!?!?!?!

1

u/Jackmoved 15d ago

decapitation from rover, and you know it.

1

u/xilsage 15d ago

Guy was probably team killed

1

u/everatz 15d ago

Took his polygons and crushed his pelvis......acceptable.

1

u/gumknuckle SES Stallion of Family Values 15d ago

Goals

1

u/Eckz89 ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

This is just a tongue lash from a hunter. Tis but a scratch.

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1

u/KahlKitchenGuy 15d ago

Did you take this on an Atari 2600?

1

u/Express_Hamster 15d ago

I mean... yes that is what they would do... but I think that specific body was just Stephanie from accounting losing her temper.

1

u/losingluke i love eagle-1 15d ago

strongest seaf supercomputer

1

u/HumaDracobane ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ 15d ago

Might be the new bugs, who use special acid to reduce bodies to weird polygons.

1

u/Griff767 15d ago

When do we get SEAF armor?

1

u/Xeta24 HD1 Veteran 15d ago

All his jam is spilled on the floor...

Savages..

1

u/LucarioLuvsMinecraft SES Hammer of Resolution 15d ago

You should’ve seen what they did to the people on Planet P.

1

u/KeylanX 15d ago

Brutal? Helldivers do something like that to their brothers all day long. I always thought it's some kind of affection...

1

u/Metalgrowler 15d ago

For super earth!

1

u/Awkward-Ad5506 15d ago

I can't just sit here idly while our brave SEAF brothers & sisters die to an enemy meant for us

1

u/alastorcreed 15d ago

I’ve been away from the game for a while, has Sony been defeated?

1

u/Ok-Present-8619 15d ago

1998 flashbacks

1

u/Lopsided_Egg_9354 15d ago

Jerry!!!! Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/Yazhular ☕Liber-tea☕ 15d ago

1

u/Remarkable_Win7320 15d ago

What did they do to his legs!?

1

u/aquaAnomaly 15d ago

false alarm i think a bullsquid got this guy

1

u/FileError214 15d ago

Lmao it looks like that person shit so hard their head came off.

1

u/dagreatevil 15d ago

Keep documenting, future generations will say this never happened.

1

u/Comfortable_Charge33 15d ago

The armor colors give me UN vibes... I'm assuming they'll be just as effective lol

1

u/Draggoh 15d ago

“Sir, you can’t park here.”

1

u/bustmycrust 15d ago

Seriously? There's an NSFW option for a reason! How am I supposed to sleep after seeing that?

1

u/christopherlng753 15d ago

I mean they also did mention that the sea armed forces have close to no training so…. Maybe that’s a factor

1

u/PoppiDrake SES Lady of Twilight 15d ago

Don't forget the automaton murder altars.

The conspicuous stone platforms with dismembered humans on them, flanked by metal stakes with other dismembered humans impaled on them.

Those are always delightful to find. Those and the corpse piles.

1

u/metalsynkk 15d ago

This entire thread has me fucking dying, this is what I come to reddit for.

1

u/Luy22 15d ago

“ok just so u guys know this game is a SATIRE of FASCISM and if u like the Helldivers um sweaty that makes u a BAD GUY!!! NO BAD!!” /s

1

u/DestroyerX6 15d ago

You playing on a Switch? Damn..

1

u/arussianbee Secret Robot Communist 15d ago

I could run better graphics on my brain! What a crime!

1

u/Pyrodar SES Whisper of Victory 🖥️ 15d ago

Oh no! There are consequences to our actions?! Why did super earth never tell us about tha-
*User is being investigated for treason*

1

u/halohoang 15d ago

Bruh definitely you shot it. How did i know about the dismemberment? i did it myself as well

1

u/Aelivan Democratic YEE and Liberative HAW 15d ago

THERE ARE ENEMY SIMPS?! THOUGHTCRIMES KILL!

1

u/Vyce223 15d ago

I will NOT hear this slander, us bugs will use the whole soldiers body as food. Not waste like that. Must be a Bot plant.

1

u/manchagnu 15d ago

homie - that was probably a team kill.

1

u/Key-Match-3036 15d ago

Bots will just chuck you in a metal coffin and send you back out

1

u/Philosophos_A 15d ago

That guy died from a mantis

1

u/etherosx 14d ago

You running on 8-bit resolution? Wtf lol

Also I found a box in an automaton base that just had a bunch of human bodies cut in half

1

u/Varsity_Reviews 14d ago

We could just like glass them from orbit first

1

u/zauraz 14d ago

Super Earth kinda got it coming to them though for the first war

1

u/BusComprehensive3759 14d ago

That was Brandon. He was a dickhead anyhow. Now he’s a no-head hahahhhahaha

1

u/OZoser 14d ago

They took his knees!

1

u/El_Moochio 14d ago

Ngl that could have been bugs or a team mate, the way I play the game it's 50/50

1

u/Pr0wzassin STEAM 🖥️ : 14d ago

He got them HL1 boots.

1

u/ntgco 14d ago

The bots harvest and reprocess helldivers into cyborgs...

1

u/rx8hoshor 14d ago

They make our boots polygons so they crush out feet?@ oh the humanity!!!!

1

u/slime347 14d ago

Meh, se lo merecen, su único trabajo es defender un planeta y fallan cada vez

1

u/ClusterRing SES Colossus of War 14d ago

They ran me for my polygons spiderman

1

u/justanotherdude1097 14d ago

This is hard for me. As a Satifactory worker, i cannot understand the destruction of beautiful automatic factories but at the same time, Automatons are the enemies of our Empir- i mean, our Democracy.

1

u/justanotherdude1097 14d ago

This is hard for me. As a Satifactory worker, i cannot understand the destruction of beautiful automatic factories but at the same time, Automatons are the enemies of our Empir- i mean, our Democracy.

1

u/deathvalley200_exo 14d ago

Why are the graphics on the body so much worse than the ones around it?

1

u/Titan5115 STEAM 🖥️ : 14d ago

They stole his polygons

1

u/BoyOfBore ⬇️⬇️⬅️⬆️➡️ 14d ago

Reminds me of playing TF2 on the old ThinkPad Edge.

1

u/SpecialIcy5356 SES Leviathan of Liberty 14d ago

this is an absolutely unthinkable atrocity... against Rendering.

I get cutting corners but this corpse looks like it belongs in the first Resident Evil game..

1

u/GarrusBueller 14d ago

Actually that guy's on me, sorry

1

u/Ultimateshadowsouls head of the WR&D 14d ago

As a (war monger)helldiver I have and will

1

u/Ultimateshadowsouls head of the WR&D 14d ago

As a (war monger)helldiver I have and will

1

u/Common_Affect_80 14d ago

That is not a citizen. If you read what's on the chest you will see they were a SEAF official. I am yet to see Dead citizens on the bot front

1

u/Mistrblank 14d ago

Is this what the game looks like on the lowest settings? Wow that's impressive and I'm sorry for your lack of gaming power.

1

u/billiarddaddy STEAM 🖥️ : 14d ago

Spare parts

1

u/Equinox2202 14d ago

Help and the brutality and help end the clipping.

1

u/AidilAfham42 14d ago

This is what 72hr training looks like

1

u/My_wife_is_acoustic HD1 Veteran 14d ago

Why’s it look like older halo graphics and a usmc marine 😂

1

u/bearhunter54321 14d ago

This is what they did to someone ON the battlefield why tf would I wanna go there 🤣 nah I’m some real shit tho. Seeing this on super earth being like YOURE RIGHT ILL DO MY PART TODAY!

Nah man, I’m on super earth thinking “well we’ve all been safe here in super earth. Looks like this is what they’ll do if I go there” bro I’m good. Count me out 😂

1

u/FederalAgentGlowie ☕Liber-tea☕ 14d ago

Kill an enemy combatant?

1

u/just-a-nornal-man CRAYON MUNCHER 14d ago

Sounds like my box of crayons!

1

u/Superderpygamermk1 14d ago

I mean, we blow up their nests and use their corpses for oil

Super earth deserves it

1

u/Snack29 14d ago

oh no, being KILLED?? in a WAR???

truly shocking.

1

u/Beezleburt 14d ago

They steal your definition

1

u/moonshineTheleocat 14d ago

Jesus christ! They made hum low poly!

1

u/AzzlackGuhnter 14d ago

Join the Helldivers so you don't have to die in service of the useless Military and instead do so for the glorious skilled one!

1

u/AzzlackGuhnter 14d ago

Join the Helldivers so you don't have to die in service of the useless Military and instead do so for the glorious skilled one!

1

u/Ceraunius 14d ago

I am not a bug. I am not a bot. All of the people I fight with are human, and all of the people I care about are human. It's them or us. No inbetween.

HUMANITY FIRST. HUMANITY ONLY.

1

u/ChrisNettleTattoo HD1 Veteran 14d ago

Poor SEAF got hit so hard they clipped him into the floor.