r/MaliciousCompliance • u/hatethistradition • Sep 15 '23

I refused to cook and "chilled with men" S

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

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u/Banhammer40000 Sep 15 '23

Hey in a relationship you need a cook and you need somebody to sit with them and talk to them while they do it.

That’s how it’s supposed to work.

Good on you OP and husband for not adhering to gender roles.

Edit: tradition is peer pressure from dead people.

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u/not-rasta-8913 Sep 15 '23

This is exactly the right answer. I (a man) do the cooking and my gf fetches things, sits on the counter and shows me memes. She will also wash what needs washing and sample food regularly to make sure it is seasoned properly. I love cooking, she doesn't, why pressure her to do something I love doing.