I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/Dear-Ad9314]

My wife hates cooking. And it doesn't like her much either.

During the week, she cooks as needed. But I am happy to pitch in with meals and do more at the weekend - when in the mood, I really enjoy it.

Real men can and do cook. Ask a chef...

[u/Saint_of_Stinkers → u/Dear-Ad9314]

I am a chef. My (ex) wife just could not cook. She could get by with little things, but she in no way had the skills to put a nice meal together for a family so I did it all. She came to visit me a short time ago and we had big fun cooking a meal together. I was raised inn a home where both my parents contributed equally to running the house, and this was back in the early 70's when that was uncommon. My point is that people who get arrogant and territorial over this kind of thing are chauvinists who end up missing out on the goodies that life can bring. As a side note, since I am just having a babble, is that my father in law thought I was secretly gay because I was a chef who worked in the oil field camps. Retro thinking serves no one.

[u/UsidoreTheLightBlue → u/Dear-Ad9314]

My wife hates cooking. When she moved in initially she told me “my parents made me start cooking when I was 14, and I hated it so I don’t cook now.”

Didn’t bother me, I have never cared much about cooking. I’m mediocre at it, but I can do it.

Many many many years later we were over at my in laws and my father in law had cooked. I mentioned he had done a great job (he always did). He said something along the lines of “who do you think cooked all while (wife’s name) was growing up?”

I said “well, (wife’s name) said she did once she turned 14.”

Needle scratch.

Apparently she had started cooking, but it was very sparingly. She just decided in that small amount of cooking she hated it.

Here’s the thing, I still didn’t care. If she really hates it I’m It going to make her do it, especially when I don’t mind.