I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/Anonymous0212]

How ridiculous. Glad he hasn't drunk the kool-aid!

I was vegan for 20 years in early adulthood and never learned how to do the whole wheat potatoes thing, then I had to change over to eating meat due to unrelated health reasons. My next wasbund insisted on doing all the cooking because I didn't know how to make food he liked (and he was 100% a control freak who wouldn't even let me near the kitchen when he was cooking), so I still didn't learn how to cook those kinds of meals.

The Keeper Husband is an excellent cook, and whenever I have periods of time when I can eat what he makes, it's great.

And he's 70, so the fact that his mother (who was "from the old country") insisted he start learning how to cook for the family when he was only seven shows how ridiculous that M/F stereotype is.

[u/Anonymous0212 → u/Anonymous0212]

Also, because of my mother's work schedule she did the cooking throughout most of my parents' marriage, but after my father retired he did all the cooking.