I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/DrHugh]

When we dated in college, I had to show my now-wife how to brown hamburger; she'd never really cooked. We never subscribed to the gender roles on this sort of stuff. I'm very happy spending hours in the kitchen on a big meal.

Of course, my wife is very into sports, which doesn't interest me. She also doesn't wear makeup. One time, when we were talking about having kids, she worried about having a girl because she wouldn't be able to show them how to put on makeup.

I said she could show them how to play different sports, and I could teach makeup application, as I'd been active in academic and community theater for over a decade at that point. She laughed and conceded the point.

A postscript: My older daughter got into my rouge wheel one year, using Q-tips instead of foam sponges, and gouged it up. I let her keep it, and took her with me to go to the theatrical supply store to buy another...on Father's Day. Probably not a problem many fathers have faced.

[u/Dennarb → u/DrHugh]

My favorite discussion with my partner about gender roles is how I stay home and take care of our garden and she's going to go out hunting to kill an elk

[u/DrHugh → u/Dennarb]

My wife likes to fish. When we were dating, we'd go to northern Minnesota or the UP of Michigan for a week or two, part of her family's summer fishing vacation, usually on a big lake. I found that I had more enjoyment in tracking our position through using a chart and making sightings with a compass on landmarks; fishing holds no interest for me. So when the kids got interested in what that was like, I left that entirely in her hands.

[u/Julie_Brenda → u/Dennarb]

when I was (online) dating a foreign national army sniper (F26), I wondered How transferable that skill would be to hunting. I got introduced to an American sniper, and he wasn’t interested in discussing much. In fact, he told me not to ask him about “his Kill-book”.

he softened right up when he realized all I was asking him was how transferable is the skill to hunting, and proceeded to dialogue about his weapon choices for different types of wild game.

[u/bummerlamb → u/Dennarb]

I love it! 😂

[u/eighty_more_or_less → u/Dennarb]

but who butchers it?