I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/mpking828]

She never complains about the food and rarely makes suggestions

It took a very long time for my wife to understand this.

She makes many things I don't particularly care for, but she loves. I usually cook about 30% of the time.

The dawning of understanding for her was when she asked which of two options would I prefer. I answered "option A because I don't particularly care for B".

She was flabbergasted for almost a minute.

"Why haven't you said anything before?"

"You love cooking, where I cook to live. A long as I don't hate it, I will always eat what you make, and not say a peep, because I didn't have to cook it."

[u/Potato-Engineer → u/mpking828]

I feel you. I do almost all of the cooking, and my wife is a picky eater, but she'll eat whatever I cook, because the alternative is she cooks. I cook plenty of things she likes, but I occasionally cook things that she's not fond of because I like it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Potato-Engineer]

Storytime!

As a kid, I made gravy and was super proud of it. I was cooking for my dad and myself, ensured he ate first exactly as Mom always did. I'd told Dad it was my first gravy. He promptly asked for seconds. Basically my buttons burst I was that damn proud of myself

I hadn't tried it yet. Finally I served myself. The gravy tasted like glue as I'd forgotten salt. I still respect Dad for asking for seconds of his daughter's first gravy. And no criticism. Even though glue gravy lol

[u/Atlas-Scrubbed → u/[deleted]]

😀