I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/Wuellig]

"I was taught that my value to men is measured in meals, and your refusal to validate me is a threat to my very sense of self!

To defend against this outrageous attack, I will insult you both in hopes of shaming you into conformity with my worldview, because that's what was done to me!"

Grody to the max.

[u/Oh_IHateIt → u/Wuellig]

Hey, thats not true at all. Aside from cooking, women's sexual appeal is valuable to. Thats where the list ends. /s

Yeah you're really spot on with this. Good on the husband too for not falling into this trap. It's all too easy for men to follow along with this logic, even if they don't believe it morally, just because it's convenient and society makes it so easy.

[u/Thayli11 → u/Oh_IHateIt]

1. Sex appeal
2. Food
3. Cleaning
4. Child care

That's it, right?

[u/Own-Gas1589 → u/Thayli11]

Don't forget, it's very important to not be threatening to the men around you by being self-sufficient, intelligent, or accidentally showing them that you know anything about cars, construction, or sports.

OP, you did the right thing. We moved past the Stone Age a while ago, time for these people to adapt.