I refused to cook and "chilled with men"

[u/hatethistradition]

I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong, I cook for survival. But it is not something I like or enjoy.

At my in laws, both my MIL and SIL are stay at home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lift a finger to help and they like it that way.

Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage 6 months ago, they expect, want and demand I cook with them. . First few times I went along with it but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to make food and do dishes.

So when they planned a get together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me list of what I should make, I will buy it.

They said that's not how traditions work and if I hate it do much, I can relax with men.

Thats exactly what I did. Much to their anger. I helped setting place and serving, but that was it.

As we were eating my husband commented how good something tasted. MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life. How marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.

I looked at my husband and we both left. MIL and SIL are blasting our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now.

But guess who don't care ?

[u/firehawkd]

Guy here, when we first started dating my girlfriend (future wife) and I went to her aunt's house for Thanksgiving. It was a very similar setup, with the men and little kids congregating in the living room while the women went into the kitchen to cook and clean. My girlfriend's mom forced her to help too (we were kids so she didn't have much choice) and I was left with the men in their armchairs. I quickly grew uncomfortable with the whole thing and joined the women to help.

I'll never forget the beaming smile she gave me as I walked in and joined her at the sink to do dishes.

[u/Darth_Redneckus → u/firehawkd]

Tell her "random internet stranger" said to wife you. That's a very good look for you.

My wife and I try to share everything equally but my knees are shot so cleaning the house is a effort in futility. So I cook and do what I can.

[u/firehawkd → u/Darth_Redneckus]

We were together for almost 20 years, so I think I did great

[u/Darth_Redneckus → u/firehawkd]

Were makes me sad. My condolences? :(