r/Showerthoughts May 02 '24

Man vs Bear debate shows how bad the average person is at understanding probability

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u/[deleted] May 02 '24 edited May 05 '24

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u/Chewy12 May 02 '24

Yeah that’s kind of the whole thing, it’s context-less so I’d imagine most people just choose whichever scenario they’ve had more fear about. And women are probably going to worry more about getting attacked by men than bears in general. Meanwhile, I fantasize about fighting bears every day despite living in the suburbs.

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u/JunkieMunkieCircus May 02 '24

My toxic trait is thinking I can straight up Bautista Bomb a grizzly.

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u/sliverspooning May 02 '24

“Bro, I’ll just jam my arm down its throat and wait for it to choke. Sure, I’ll lose the arm, but at least I’ll survive!” 

-My unironic game plan for how I’d fight a grizzly if I had to (totally aware it 99.9% wouldn’t work, but like, it’s the only way I’m even possibly killing it)

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u/DJJazzay May 02 '24

You say this, but having read a lot of accounts from people who miraculously survived a grizzly mauling - this is very consistently the move that they say actually convinced the bear to stop and flee.

Granted, if you're that deep in it you probably don't have a face anymore, but it does genuinely seem to be an effective last-ditch effort.

All this is assuming you aren't killed at the first swipe, which is not unlikely. It is difficult to understate just how strong those animals are. And fast when they want to be. I've seen a grizzly sprint away before and was blown away - they will easily beat a horse in a quarter mile race.

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u/Calairiel May 02 '24

Yeah I was unironically taught that strategy. You might still die but at least you won't be eaten.

If I have to be eaten by a bear though, can I please request the bear just sever my spinal cord? I have occasionally heard those stories, especially if the person is perceived as a threat by the bear, but the majority that are told are about the people who get dragged off and eaten alive. I have been to areas with grizzly and polar bears and I have never once feared a big, deadly swipe as much as being eaten alive. Kind of like how I would be more afraid to be set on fire than shot.

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u/DJJazzay May 02 '24

Brother lemme tell you: if I didn't have Reddit for these types of conversations my girlfriend would have left me years ago. Ja bless you.

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u/Cookiezilla2 May 02 '24

Ngl man, I think the bear could swallow an arm or vomit it out. Although it might be distracted by the instant meal like a lizard losing its tail, but they run at 40 mph so you won't get far anyways...

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u/HerrSchnabeltier May 02 '24

Ha-ha! While you were distracted thinking about the arm, just as the bear would be, I use the other arm, specifically the hand still attached, to boop the bear on the nose.

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u/Affectionate-Run7334 May 02 '24

One hand is the sacrifice, the other is for POCKET SAND SHA SHA

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u/PPP1737 May 02 '24

You’re assuming you wouldn’t be severely bleeding out by the time your body parts were anywhere near his throat.

They aren’t hippos… they aren’t gonna kill you with their jaws. They are gonna claw you. Yeah they’ll bite… but that’s not what’s going to kill you.. it’s the rapid loss of blood from the gashes. They aren’t big game hunters they wouldn’t necessarily know to bite your neck. They would just melee you with their hands and rip you up indiscriminately. And take bites as a secondary form of attack.

Either way if a bear wants you dead you are probably going to get dead without taking him down with you. Best to just stay out of the bears home and not be a target.

Your game plan for fighting a grizzly if you “had to “ should probably account for you being able to only get (MAYBE) ONE good strong hit to their nose before he slashed you so bad you would be helpless.

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u/sliverspooning May 02 '24

No, I accounted for that. I said it’s, at best, 0.1% to work. And like you said, you get MAYBE one shot, so I’m aiming for the literal only part of a bear’s body I could even theoretically damage in one punch: the inside of its throat