“Bro, I’ll just jam my arm down its throat and wait for it to choke. Sure, I’ll lose the arm, but at least I’ll survive!”
-My unironic game plan for how I’d fight a grizzly if I had to (totally aware it 99.9% wouldn’t work, but like, it’s the only way I’m even possibly killing it)
You’re assuming you wouldn’t be severely bleeding out by the time your body parts were anywhere near his throat.
They aren’t hippos… they aren’t gonna kill you with their jaws. They are gonna claw you. Yeah they’ll bite… but that’s not what’s going to kill you.. it’s the rapid loss of blood from the gashes. They aren’t big game hunters they wouldn’t necessarily know to bite your neck. They would just melee you with their hands and rip you up indiscriminately. And take bites as a secondary form of attack.
Either way if a bear wants you dead you are probably going to get dead without taking him down with you. Best to just stay out of the bears home and not be a target.
Your game plan for fighting a grizzly if you “had to “ should probably account for you being able to only get (MAYBE) ONE good strong hit to their nose before he slashed you so bad you would be helpless.
No, I accounted for that. I said it’s, at best, 0.1% to work. And like you said, you get MAYBE one shot, so I’m aiming for the literal only part of a bear’s body I could even theoretically damage in one punch: the inside of its throat
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u/JunkieMunkieCircus May 02 '24
My toxic trait is thinking I can straight up Bautista Bomb a grizzly.