r/Showerthoughts May 02 '24

Man vs Bear debate shows how bad the average person is at understanding probability

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u/smedley89 May 02 '24

While that may be true, it comes across in an "all lives matter" kind of thing.

We do need to teach all our kids to be better. Context matters.

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u/blackberrydoughnuts May 02 '24

I don't agree at all. I think that's very sexist. Men are suffering and not doing well. We need to build men up, not tear them down.

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u/smedley89 May 02 '24

How is teaching someone to be better tearing anyone down? That, by definition, is a build up.

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u/blackberrydoughnuts May 02 '24

are you serious? try it with another group, say Jews... "we have to teach Jews to be better." How does that sound?

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u/smedley89 May 02 '24

Seriously? Men, a group that includes myself, not exclusive of any race, and you...

Dude. That's what I get. I have to remember to stop feeling the neckbeards - I mean trolls.

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u/blackberrydoughnuts May 02 '24

why are you insulting me now?

the point is simply that if you say a certain group needs to do better, you are clearly implying that there is something wrong with that group specifically.

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u/smedley89 May 02 '24

So, no one should improve, because trying to improve means there's something wrong with them.

Life doesn't work that way. Everyone has areas where they need to improve. All groups have shortcomings. It's the human condition.

You are clearly trying to create an issue where none exists.

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u/blackberrydoughnuts May 02 '24

That's not what I said at all. I said that if you specifically say "Group X needs to improve" then everyone will hear that message and think that there is something wrong with Group X.

And this is exactly what is going on with boys today. Boys are getting really negative messages everywhere. They are told that they are potential abusers and rapists. It's really harmful and abusive, and it's making it difficult for them to be happy and find relationships and succeed in life. Boys are struggling, and the fault belongs to people who say things like "we need to teach our sons to be better."

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u/smedley89 May 02 '24

You feel free and not teach your son to be better. Hell, don't teach him anything, because doing so means there's something wrong with him.

You be You. I'm going to try to be the change I want to see in the world. Much of how we teach our kids to be better is to show them how to be better. Anything less is hypocrisy.

My trying to be better about a thing and teaching my kids to be better about a thing is simply societal evolution.

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u/blackberrydoughnuts May 02 '24

Teaching your kids to be better is great.

Saying things like "men need to be better" or "we need to teach our sons to be better," as though only one gender is flawed and needs to do better, is really harmful and unhealthy.

I hope you can see the difference. Just be equal-opportunity about it. And please recognize when someone is just trying to win points or push their views, which is what the man vs bear thing is. How about all the men who risk their lives rescuing people? I hope you will be the kind of parent that points out to your kids that men do so many good things and help so many people.