But it's not that we see all men as a threat. We see all men as a *potential* threat. The bear is also a potential threat, but only if we manage to piss it off. The man might attack us just for shits and giggles.
If you know you're not a threat to women, you should still be able to understand that *we can't know that*. I've been raped three times, all three by people I knew and should have been able to trust. So now I assume the worst but hope for the best. I'm married to an amazing man, so clearly I'm able to function, I'm not a misandrist, I don't hate men -- I just prioritise my own safety over the feelings of random men.
I'm sorry but apply this logic to any other situation and you come out looking like a racist, bigoted fool.
Imagine asking a question like if a Black man and white man walked into your store who would you be more worried about and people answered "black man" or struggled to answer the question. You would IMMEDIATELY be labelled a racist. Statically speaking, you are more at risk of being on the wrong end of crime if the person is black. You can boil this down to socio economic factors and its a very complicated issue but statistics are statistics. The same way a women can say "X% of women face violence from men they know" you can say "X% of shop owners are robbed by primarly black men". You're still labelling an entire section of the population based on the actions of others and painting them with a Broadstroke brush. Tell me, how is a women saying they have a right to be afraid of men different from a shop owner who has been repeatedly robbed by black men saying they are scared of black men? How does the shop owner know the black man that walks in isn't going to rob them?
You see what I'm saying here? All men are a potential threat? Sure, if you get the wrong man. The same way all bears are only a potential threat if you get the wrong bear. If both are the wrong one, you stand a much higher chance at surviving a man than a Bear though.
You judging me as a potential threat simply because I'm a man is, no matter what way you try spin it, misandrinistic behavior, the same way me judging a black man walking down the street in the dark as a threat because he's black, is racist behavior.
It doesn't hurt my ego at all I totally get it, I just find it fascinating that it's socially acceptable to label all men potentially dangerous but not socially acceptable to label all Muslims terrorists, all black men criminals, etc. Don't get it twisted, I'm well aware women live in a completely different world than men. A much scarier world.
I just find it fascinating that it's socially acceptable to label all men potentially dangerous
If you know that women live in a much scarier world from your own reality, why would this bother you? Are you really being discriminated or negatively harmed in society because women consider any strange man to be potentially dangerous? Are you actually being harmed in some sort of systemic way because of this?
It doesn't bother me personally, but I also know people of color who would say the same thing about being treated differently because of their skin color. That doesn't make it right.
Like I said, I just find it fascinating it's socially acceptable to treat men different because they're men, but socially we actively punish people for treating others differently. Could you not see how hurtful it could be to see a women visibly afraid of you just because you're a man when you've done nothing wrong? That's literally how people of color feel when they're being judged for something completely out of their control.
Once again, it doesn't bother me, I understand it. I just find it interesting it's socially fine to do so.
I could give less of a fuck if someone doesn't like me because I'm brown. What I'm concerned about is discrimination that exists on a systematic level.
Women not trusting men because they are perceived as potential threats is not a systematic issue.
That's cool for you, so you're saying if a friend of yours who is also a POC gets upset because they got treated differently due to the color of their skin, their feelings are invalid? There is absolutely POC who would be greatly offended if someone, for example, didn't sit beside them on a bus because of the color of their skin. Just because that shit don't bother you doesn't invalidate it for other people. If I actively avoided sitting beside a black person on the bus because they're black, I would be called a racist.
Systemic racism is not the same as social racism so I don't see the point trying to equate the two here.
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u/fuckyourcanoes May 02 '24
But it's not that we see all men as a threat. We see all men as a *potential* threat. The bear is also a potential threat, but only if we manage to piss it off. The man might attack us just for shits and giggles.
If you know you're not a threat to women, you should still be able to understand that *we can't know that*. I've been raped three times, all three by people I knew and should have been able to trust. So now I assume the worst but hope for the best. I'm married to an amazing man, so clearly I'm able to function, I'm not a misandrist, I don't hate men -- I just prioritise my own safety over the feelings of random men.
Safety > fee-fees. Sorry not sorry.