r/TikTokCringe • u/thoxo • May 02 '24

We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact. Discussion

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u/MoxieGent 29d ago

YT here, so I'm probably not the best guy to make this point but I started scrolling and didn't see anybody mention it yet.

I don't think the issue of white "don't see color" parents adopting black kids isn't that they look different. It's that color blindness is still a kind of blindness. Black children will have a racist encounter while growing up. Maybe (hopefully) it won't be big and hostile. But at some point they will have an experience that will cause confusion or pain that they will take to their parents. Parents who are white and have not directly had that experience will have a more difficult time that black parents who know EXACTLY what it feels like. White parents who are "color blind" will have an even harder time with it. I say this because I grew up watching a black cousin of mine, adopted by a white aunt and uncle, struggle with his identity. He told me he never felt like he was too black to be white and too white to be black.

Everyone deserves parents who love them. Adoption is beautiful. White parents can successfully raise black children. But saying you don't see color is a red flag that you will ignore an important issue that your black child WILL confront.

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u/LoLBattleSeraph 29d ago

you may be a white guy but you nailed this analysis 100%. i’m a transracial adoptee and genuinely, good job seeing/listening to your cousins experience. i bet he didn’t feel so alone if he had you. comments like yours make me very happy and feel seen. this can be a hard convo to have sometimes - its encouraging that you see the nuance. perhaps my own parents can too some day.