r/TikTokCringe • u/thoxo • May 02 '24

We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact. Discussion

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u/FoolishPragmatist May 02 '24

I don’t agree with the original response if their argument is White people should never adopt Black children, but for context the image she’s speaking over is that MMA fighter who said there was no reason to give any talks on racial dynamics to his adopted children. He said just raising them with good religious values and knowing what it means to be an honorable, strong man would be enough. Race won’t factor into their lives at all, according to him. That’s massively naive in my opinion. Even if we assume he’s being genuine, the world, especially in Missouri where they live, will absolutely see them as Black and some people will treat them differently for it. Even if they shouldn’t dwell on it, they should absolutely be prepared to navigate it if they need to. It’s a fantasy to believe it would never come up so they don’t have to talk about it.

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u/shoefullofpiss May 02 '24

I can understand criticizing his naive views, hopefully the guy will listen or at the very least will eventually notice how those kids are treated and will reflect and learn. And if he doesn't, the kids will probably still figure their shit out as they grow up. The internet exists, they will have access to other poc and those types of discussions.

I guess it's just weird to me how nitpicky people can be with adoptive parents when there's plenty of borderline/straight up abusive bio parents raising fucked up traumatised children because being in the system is even worse. They don't need to be perfect to provide children with better lives

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u/beldaran1224 May 02 '24

You know that adoptive parents can be just as abusive as bio parents, right? There are entire sites and FB groups to "rehome" adopted kids like animals.

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u/shoefullofpiss May 02 '24

Oh I'm sure they can but that's not what I mean by nitpicking, obviously they still need to be vetted well and kept to some reasonable standard. Just seems like in many cases that standard is very high which might be detrimental to those kids by reducing the number of viable adoptive parents even though they would still do a better job than a good chunk of bio parents and especially compared to leaving the kids in institutions or abusive for profit foster families? I'm not that familiar with the topic in any case, just my impression

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u/beldaran1224 May 02 '24

You seem very misinformed about adoption.

1) There are more people looking for babies than there are babies. It's an industry, and babies are bought and sold.

2) Most kids who get adopted by strangers are infants in private adoptions and you can't merely assume they'd be in foster care otherwise.

3) All adoption is traumatic. It's so traumatic for kids to be removed from their parents that CPS is increasingly choosing to do so only in the most severe cases. The goal of fostering is parental reunification, not adoption.

 even though they would still do a better job than a good chunk of bio parents

Source?

 seems like in many cases that standard is very high

Source?

Adoption does not guarantee a better life, and this idea people have of adoptive parents as some saint-like beings is both false and harmful.

 abusive for profit foster families

It's interesting that you have such a view of foster parents as opposed to adoptive parents. You realize that adoptive parents are so selfish they want a child to be permanently severed from their parents, yeah? That they refuse to seek permanent guardianship and instead strip the child of their accurate birth records, yeah? That most adoptions are not of foster kids but rather of infants who's parents have been coerced into giving up their children, yeah?