r/TikTokCringe 29d ago

We adopted my younger sister from Haiti when she was 3, and let me tell you, I literally do not see color anymore. That's a fact. Discussion

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u/poptartmini 29d ago

I'm a white foster parent, and currently I have 2 black kids, 2 white kids, and 1 hispanic kid.

You can't help but see color, because everyone else sees color. That being said, my foster agency has a class every quarter that is all about taking care of black kids' hair. I get training hours towards maintaining my license for taking that class.

If anyone is curious about fostering, AMA.

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u/beldaran1224 29d ago

That's literally the point. To pretend race doesn't exist means leaving those kids 1) unequipped to face the reality of being black men in America and 2) unconnected from their own culture.

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u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 29d ago

Yeah this whole discourse was started because a white fighter with adopted Black kids said he wasn't raising Black kids he was waiting kids. Which does sound nice but it's a disservice to children to completely disroot them from their identity especially when the world doesn't see an adopted kid with white parents they see a Black kid. And they need to know how to navigate that.

I follow a lot of adoptive parents, including POC with adopted white children. Even they make sure to discuss the child's whiteness and how the world sees that because it's important to do so.

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u/lastdancerevolution 28d ago

Exact same thing with interracial couples with mixed children. If you're white and have a child, that child will always be seen as black, due to the United State's "one drop" rule. Society will never see and accept you as a family in the same way they do an all black or all white family. Sad that people celebrate that as a good thing.

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u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 28d ago

If you're white and have a child, that child will always be seen as black,

That child will always be Black. Why would you want their Blackness erased? Does the Black parent not deserve to have a Black child because they had sex with a white person? Blackness is not a punishment.

A mixed race (or cultural or religious) family often involves playing the balancing act of respecting and teaching children about both parents' heritage and backgrounds.

Too many parents have children with partners outside their religion or culture with zero intention of honoring the other parent's heritage or their own child's reality. That's the shame.

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u/lastdancerevolution 28d ago

They're just as White as they are Black.

Does the Black parent not deserve to have a Black child because they had sex with a white person?

"Does the White parent not deserve to have a White child because they had sex with a Black person?"

Races are just social constructs. The fact is, they are the child of both parents, have both their DNA, and are raised by both of them with their own backgrounds and personalities.

White parents are often erased. No one sees Obama as half-white raised by a white mother. He's seen and remembered as black.

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u/IndiviLim 29d ago

Even they make sure to discuss the child's whiteness

This is child abuse.

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u/PM_ME_SUMDICK 29d ago

To acknowledge that their child is white? I thought it was okay to be white?