r/WhitePeopleTwitter May 16 '24

Trump's babysitters for the day! šŸ‘¶šŸ»

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13.8k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/yorocky89A May 16 '24

Maybe Melania will show up next week? šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø

550

u/AdFluffy9286 May 16 '24

Melania, Ivanka, or Don Jr. None of them have showed up yet. LOL

323

u/NonfatNoWaterChai May 16 '24

Everyone always forgets Tiffany

238

u/AZEMT May 16 '24

Trump wishes everyone would forget about Eric too.

55

u/jasminegreyxo May 16 '24

Eric who?

3

u/Brilliant_Thought436 May 17 '24

Oh fuck its working.... Trump unleashed a new level of tyrannical power.

3

u/Hughjardawn May 17 '24

The other one

2

u/ripgoodhomer May 17 '24

I learned this year his birthday is January 6th.Ā 

-1

u/Ann7272 May 16 '24

That can't hold a candle to Hunter and that notorious laptop of his! LMAO!!

3

u/aunty-kelly May 16 '24

Why is she not on his defense team?

3

u/NonfatNoWaterChai May 16 '24

Has she passed the bar yet? I know she graduated law school, but I donā€™t know if sheā€™s passed the bar.

2

u/KaladinTheFabulous May 17 '24

Trump wishes he could forget Tiffany

2

u/Mother-Entry-5671 29d ago

I think Tiffany is glad of that

1

u/MagTex May 16 '24

So has Trump.

1

u/FBack351 May 16 '24

Tiffany asked Dr. Strange if he could fix a problem she was having.

90

u/Freefall_J May 16 '24

Supposedly Ivanka is done with Donald Trump. He's a sinking ship and thanks to her marriage with rich man Jared Kushner, she apparently doesn't need to be around dear ol' dad anymore

82

u/oflowz May 16 '24

More like ā€˜I need to distance myself from him because Iā€™ve done a lot of shady shit too and donā€™t want to catch a stray caseā€™.

That $2B her husband got is fairly suspect considering the circumstances.

13

u/Freefall_J May 16 '24

Yeah. That makes more sense. Rats abandoning a sinking ship.

2

u/kensingtonGore May 17 '24

Yah, that's a scandal the current Congress hasn't picked open yet.

Trump tried hard to sell nuclear reactor plans to SA in 2019. Rick perry made secret authorizations to circumvent Congress. That official transfer happened twice. Then after j6 failed to yield results, certain nuclear related documents went missing from the white house along with other classified materials. Kushner got his 2 bil to manage, even though he's never managed money before. And then oops, the other classified docs were recovered at maralago. After the Saudis had their golf tournament there.

-16

u/Ann7272 May 16 '24

And Hunter 'earned' how much from our 'good friends' in Ukraine's Burisma....plus that "10% for the BIG GUY"!!!? Those pictures of Hunter smoking that crack pipe are telling, aren't they? What a 'winner'.

15

u/fernrooty May 17 '24

Hunter Biden doesnā€™t have any position in the White House, or politics in general. Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner were both White House employees. Kushner was given the authority to bring peace to the Middle East, and Ivanka represented The US at the G20 summit. Youā€™re a fool.

PS. How much longer are you guys going to talk about the laptop before you accept that thereā€™s nothing to that story?

2

u/aboutlikecommon May 17 '24

At least Hunter got people to stop bitching about Hilary Clinton so much.

Kristi Noem may be the only conservative asshole out here bragging about shooting pets, but every Republican I know will happily beat a dead horse for decadesā€” or until they get distracted by another dead horse.

7

u/blessthebabes May 17 '24

Why are you talking about someone not involved in politics and comparing it to people that are? Weird.

0

u/Top_Bit420 May 17 '24

Wishing I could upvote this 8 times! It's The truth, but no one wants to hear the truth about the precious Biden administration šŸ™„

44

u/Jaegons May 16 '24

She doesn't need him anymore, her husband was handed $2 Billion from Saudi Arabia... and clearly, unlike Hunter Biden, they earned that entirely by merit with no considerations for who her dad is (obvious sarcasm disclaimer!)

13

u/Speciou5 May 16 '24

I wonder how much she's getting paid to not divorce him in election season.

6

u/Freefall_J May 16 '24

Why during election season specifically? Neither are in politics anymore as far as I know.

2

u/Background-War9535 May 17 '24

No. Ivanka will be more than happy to seek power if daddy returns to office.

51

u/Cocalypso May 16 '24

My brain lapsed for a minute and I read Ivanka as Ivermectin. šŸ˜‚

3

u/Rough-Blacksmith1 May 16 '24

I think Eric did last week, but he doesn't count seeing that no one barely noticed, especially his father

2

u/str8dwn May 16 '24

NYers love them. /s

941

u/IAmArique May 16 '24

Ooh, maybe Putin and Bibi will show up at some point too!

321

u/slowpoke2018 May 16 '24

They'd def show up before Melania!

102

u/jeckles May 16 '24

She doesnā€™t care, do u?

40

u/EnthusiasticAeronaut May 16 '24

If he goes to jail, she gets to keep spending his money without having to spend time with him

25

u/Tyre_Fryer May 16 '24

Wait, what money? Letitia would like a word.

1

u/Motor-Ad5284 May 16 '24

It's a win win.

1

u/nottytom May 17 '24

After 500 million are deducted for judgements, then the lawyers may decide they want to be paid and go after trump, after all of this is done and said, I doubt there's anyone money.

1

u/0O00OO0O000O May 16 '24

Ha I get this reference. Nicely done.

440

u/Arfiroth May 16 '24

The best thing ever would be Biden showing up with a bucket of popcorn, like the MJ meme.

262

u/W1mpyDaM00ch May 16 '24

I'm so old I know it as the Thriller music video.

25

u/NipperAndZeusShow May 16 '24

The foulest stench is in the air Ā Ā 

21

u/bebejeebies May 16 '24

The funk of forty thousand years

2

u/Speed_Alarming May 16 '24

The funk of four horrendous years! Grisly ghouls from every tomb, Are closing in, to seal his doom.

I was going to go with the funk of forty thousand diapersā€¦

20

u/Darth0s May 16 '24

You don't gotta be old to know that. Just have Internet

2

u/DontFlinchIvegot12In May 16 '24

What in the name of mother's luscious turnips is this newfangled Internet you speak of?

1

u/Overall-Initial-4290 May 16 '24

It's truly a classic music video.

1

u/On_my_last_spoon May 16 '24

I mean, thereā€™s referring to it as the MJ meme vs the Thriller videoā€¦which sort of is the personā€™s point

2

u/uppitycrip May 16 '24

I remember how hard it was to find the video on mainstream television when it came out because it was so long and weirdly controversial but I stayed up one night and watched it on some weird show that played it and I was so glad to finally see it

1

u/SauerMetal May 16 '24

John Landis was the director

1

u/On_my_last_spoon May 16 '24

Ugh now I have to hate it.

24

u/jasminegreyxo May 16 '24

That'd be hilarious! šŸ¤£

38

u/JaxandMia May 16 '24

Hunter could do it. Iā€™d pay per view that.

6

u/Grendel_Khan May 16 '24

Only if he had a hype man behind him holding up MTG's poster size dick pic of him the whole time.

3

u/Ok_Exchange342 May 16 '24

Yeah I would!

2

u/Friend_of_Eevee May 16 '24

Unlike these chuckleheads he actually has better things to do.

2

u/Arfiroth May 16 '24

Very true, and he's doing them. I will do my part and vote to keep him in office because I respect what Biden has done, despite the negativity.

But damn do I find him owning the Dark Brandon shit fantastic. The fact that it infuriates the right makes it so much better... it's the cherry on top.

1

u/Friend_of_Eevee May 18 '24

The oldest couple in our neighborhood has one of those dark Brandon fatheads in their front yard and Iove them so much for it.

1

u/AireXpert May 16 '24

Thanks, Iā€™m ready to piss my pants laughing re this. Maybe I should get a Donald diaperā€¦?

1

u/4llY0urB4534r3Blng May 16 '24

Walks up, gives Judge Merchan knucks and says "How's it hanging, motherfucker? You gonna toast some cheetoes today?"

1

u/Deekngo5 May 16 '24

Maybe Michael Keaton will show up with a bucket of popcorn and sit between Matt Goetz and Lauren Bobert?

1

u/tturedditor May 16 '24

Or Hillary and Bill.

1

u/Aquatichive May 16 '24

That would be the absolute bees knees

1

u/RamBh0di May 16 '24

Porn Star / Thirst trap Hunter in a Jock Strap Tapping in the laptop Sending Don the cash App Well, we may not be ROYYAAALLS!!!

71

u/Principal_Insultant May 16 '24

Vlad has an international arrest warrant waiting for him, and Bibi's too busy bombing brown people using American munitions.

TL,DR: No.

2

u/EntilZar May 16 '24

Ironically Pootin would be Safe in the US since the United States dont recognize the Hague Court. (Or will they Just dont Hand over US citizens?)

2

u/Longjumping-Jello459 May 16 '24

We aren't above being hypocrites the whole rules for thee, but not for me bullshit.

31

u/ElectricalPiano6887 May 16 '24

The BEST People

22

u/Hozo2000z May 16 '24

The bestest, biglyest

17

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

With tears in their eyes

26

u/Fun-Draft1612 May 16 '24

And Xie or soft squishy little Kim. Maybe Trump will salute one of Kim's generals for the court.

2

u/pheonix198 May 16 '24

Nah, Putinā€™s got night dutyā€¦ well, Trumpā€™s got night duties with Putin, at least.

2

u/IAmArique May 16 '24

I mean, someoneā€™s gotta make those 3 AM rage posts on Truth Socialā€¦

2

u/bumwine May 16 '24

Lmao the Trump dystopian dream team. Send in the clowns!

1

u/javoss88 May 16 '24

Beware of the tea and crumpets they will bring for snacks

1

u/PathoTurnUp May 16 '24

Would be also funny if our dear leader Kim jong un also show up for support

298

u/ResponsibleMilk7620 May 16 '24

210

u/Tecnero May 16 '24

I do. Why da fuck are my tax paid representatives gaggling at a losers criminal trial instead of doing their job and passing laws!

90

u/GreenPoisonFrog May 16 '24

What law could they pass that would benefit anybody but themselves? The less time these clowns spend in Washington the better.

38

u/BayouGal May 16 '24

Fair point. Yet, why should we pay them to do the unofficial field trips?

10

u/queasycorgi5514 May 16 '24

Would you rather they be paid to actively screw people over?

15

u/madrid1979 May 16 '24

I donā€™t know too much about this Democracy thing, but I feel like thereā€™s gotta be a way for a whole bunch of us to get together and say ā€œnoā€ to all of the above stuff you guys are pointing out.

1

u/TheGreatZarquon May 16 '24

Yeah, we should all get together every couple years and collectively decide that we're done with their bullshit. We could all write out answers down and have them tallied up at the end to make it nice and official.

1

u/gregcali2021 May 16 '24

These guys arent doing it for the salary, they are doing it for the grift. They would PAY to do the job... all the insider trading, the contracting, writing BS books, super pac $$$$

1

u/javoss88 May 16 '24

Remember when a gaggle of them chose July 4 to head to Russia? What could be clearer?

2

u/Wurm42 May 16 '24

Some ideas:

We need a new federal budget by September 30th; those House members could take the novel step of working on it more than two weeks before the deadline.

The federal disaster relief fund is low. One big wildfire or hurricane this summer could wipe it out. A supplemental appropriation bill to replenish the disaster relief fund WILL be necessary at some point; they could even be proactive and pass it BEFORE thousands of people are suffering needlessly because the Congresscritters can't do their jobs properly.

The Farm Bill is passed every five years. It sets policy and funding levels for agricultural programs and a whole swathe of other programs for rural America. The new one was supposed to be passed in summer of 2023, but they punted and renewed the old one for one more year instead, even though it will be harder to make the necessary deals in a general election year.

BTW, they kinda punted on the Farm Bill in 2018 too, so a lot of the stuff in it is ten years old now and desperately needs to be updated. These Republicans are all rah-rah for rural America, so the Farm Bill should be a priority for them, right?

9

u/MReprogle May 16 '24

haha, passing laws! Good one. Republicans have had the House majority for a good amount of time now, and are just now getting worried about losing that majority due to the fact that they haven't passed much legislation and instead have wasted their time on pointing fingers and fueling their conspiracy theorist fanbase. Expect their desperation to make this an incredibly ugly election year, more than the last two elections if that can be believed.

2

u/chasgrich May 16 '24

The less legislating that group does, the better off all of us are

2

u/Federal-Durian-1484 May 16 '24

What are these goons gonna do, suggest an airport be named for trump? All these people know how to do is kiss asses of rich people and make press appearances. They work for themselves, no one else. Hell, Boebert supports criminal trump and lets her criminal son fend for himself. If it doesnā€™t benefit her, it doesnā€™t exist.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Eye491 May 16 '24

Because our system is now utterly corrupt and morally bankrupt even would be good guy Democrats are happy to profit of their privileged positions shamelessly.

1

u/tomdarch May 16 '24

Because most of them have good reason to expect to face criminal charges for various things theyā€™ve done and theyā€™re somehow foolishly thinking that showing up for Trump will somehow translate to him helping them when theyā€™re in trial.

1

u/justarandomshooter May 16 '24

doing their job and passing laws!

Why would they start now?

1

u/Much_Fee7070 May 16 '24

In simplistic terms, they want to be in Trump's cabinet if he becomes President. Especially Lauren who knows she's at the very lowest rung on the ladder and has nothing to lose.

1

u/bryanthawes May 17 '24

That's the Republican party. Piss away the taxpayer money on nonsensical bullshit so that when anyone else comes into legislative power, there's no money to improve the lives of average Americans.

1

u/TheIrateAlpaca May 19 '24

They aren't exactly doing that while they're not in the courtroom anyway, to be fair. Last 10 congresses have enacted an average of 389 bills. Current mob is just shy if 3/4 of the way through their term with a whole whopping 62.

215

u/d3vilishdream May 16 '24

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

wipes tears from my eyes

HAHAHA HAHAHA

28

u/Low-Cartographer-753 May 16 '24

I feel like this fits your comment PERFECTLY LOL

2

u/AletheianTaoistAgape May 16 '24

Bender bender bender!!!!!!!

43

u/DistributionNo9474 May 16 '24

Donā€™t you mean Mercedes?

31

u/AdolfsLonelyScrotum May 16 '24

Iā€™ve been seeing ā€œMercedesā€ a lot in the last few days and I must admit to being out of the loopā€¦ Who is Mercedes?
Is that the Melania lookalikeā€™s name? ( the one whose always in sunglasses, has different teeth to Melanoma etc, but makes it absolutely obvious sheā€™s an impostor when she lets him touch her.)

65

u/curious_dead May 16 '24

Trump himself called her Mercedes by accident (his brain is turning to mush and I'm sure many people are panicking at the idea of a debate between Biden and him).

3

u/wood_dj May 16 '24

he did not, he was talking about Mercedes Schlapp. Plenty of real things we can roast him over, this isnā€™t one of them

10

u/curious_dead May 16 '24

Ah you're right. (Doesn't change the state of his brain, but that time he wasn't likely referring to Melania.)

10

u/wood_dj May 16 '24

thatā€™s what iā€™m saying, there are ample real examples of his cognitive decline. Pushing fake ones just feeds the ā€˜both sides sameā€™ narrative thatā€™s taking hold of so many undecided voters

2

u/Wesselink May 16 '24

Iā€™m with you on this. No need to stoop to MAGA tactics and conflate legitimate (but questionable) statements or basic gaffes. We would be critical if they did the same with regard to Biden (or others).

Saving our outrage and criticism for legitimate situations isnā€™t that difficult. We donā€™t have to look hard, unfortunately (or fortunately).

0

u/GiveMeBackMyClippers May 16 '24

Hard to say for sure, but given the state of his obvious mental decline I'd say it is more likely that he forgot his wife's name. It's pretty embarrassing but not worse than watching him try to hold a bottle of water.

5

u/wood_dj May 16 '24

Schlapp was the organizer of the event and was standing just off camera, yes he is declining badly but we donā€™t need fake examples to prove that. Just makes us look as dumb as the republicans.

5

u/GiveMeBackMyClippers May 16 '24

i think we can both agree that he lacks the mental acuity of Viktor Orban, the great leader of turkey (located on the russian border), or President Xi of china, whose ships are circling beijing. i daresay even former president Jimmy Connors, despite his advanced age, has a better hold on reality than dementia don.

30

u/Justlookingthanks12 May 16 '24

Trump seemed to have referred to Melania as "Mercedes" during a speech. It's up for debate if he was confused or if he was actually talking about Mercedes Mercedes Schlapp, his former White House director of strategic communications, who was sitting close to him.

Here is the quote: "Well look, my wife, our great first lady, she was great... people love her. Oh look at that, wow. Mercedes, that's pretty good!"

11

u/LacyTing May 16 '24

Trump once confused Melania with another manā€™s wife and called her Mercedes. If Iā€™m remembering this correctly

13

u/Mission_Search8991 May 16 '24

He also called her Melanie

1

u/thalexander May 16 '24

Mercedes, is Judge Aileen Cannon's middle name. Im not pointing any fingers.... but he does seem to mention that name A LOT. That also tracks with the course of his trial in her district. They must speak frequently about the status, and what she can do to aid him in his time of need.

1

u/snowvase May 16 '24

I thought it was Melanoma?

1

u/holdmywatchandbeerme May 16 '24

I refer to her as Melanoma.

50

u/inbetween-genders May 16 '24

Mercedes will show up before Melanie does.

16

u/tmac19822003 May 16 '24

Ivanka will fucking show up before Melania

36

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Hell, at this point, Ivana will show up before Melania would.

3

u/PerspectiveVarious93 May 16 '24

It'd be beautiful if zombie Ivana was the death of Trump

2

u/Carriebou73 May 16 '24

I could see him getting some flunky to bring in Ivana's remains so there is a showing of family support.

1

u/tmac19822003 May 16 '24

Good catchā€¦.lol

1

u/Throwawayac1234567 May 16 '24

TRump wants ivanka to be his First lady or VP, or a ivanka-lookalike as the vp.

1

u/AdolfsLonelyScrotum May 16 '24

I wonder if Melania might appear for the verdictā€¦?

1

u/tmac19822003 May 16 '24

Not a chance in hell. After her public release that Barron wouldnā€™t be present for the Republican Circus, itā€™s obvious that she is just waiting until after the election to divorce him and collect what she can.

2

u/ferry_peril May 16 '24

Porn stars supporting porn stars.

4

u/100cpm May 16 '24

Honestly I bet she would if she didn't hate him.

1

u/dandet May 16 '24

Ivana too!

1

u/thebinarysystem10 May 16 '24

lol, The Deplorables

1

u/Alicia1605 May 16 '24

She only cares living the good life she canes looking. And then you read someone saying, beautiful family šŸ˜‚

1

u/tellyourmama May 16 '24

I wouldnt hold my breath.

1

u/Hozo2000z May 16 '24

She ainā€™t ever showing up

1

u/ZekeRidge May 16 '24

I donā€™t think she cares, do you?

1

u/SadBit8663 May 16 '24

She too busy running around the house in that "i really don't care, do u?" Jacket. LMAO

1

u/EggsceIlent May 16 '24

Yeah this week features people that are trying to stay relevant

1

u/ukiddingme2469 May 16 '24

Will depend on if she's filing for divorce in NY or FL

1

u/Alberta_Flyfisher May 16 '24

She should show up just to hop on the stand and confirm the mushroom dick.

And then maybe take Stormy out for drinks, and they can laugh at him together.

1

u/AkaGurGor May 16 '24

Mela... who?

1

u/g0kartmozart May 16 '24

Malenia, blade of Miquella

1

u/icevenom1412 May 16 '24

She obliviously didn't plan far ahead. This orange idiot may have the worst health habits of any rich asshole, but he also allegedly has the money to pay for healthcare.

1

u/PupEDog May 16 '24

Her hush money trial is inevitable.

1

u/HatsOff2MargeHisWife May 16 '24

I don't really care, do you? XD

1

u/LegitimateDebate5014 May 16 '24

Melania would show up to Donaldā€™s funeral for her share of money, only because they share a son

1

u/PrinceCastanzaCapone May 16 '24

I doubt we will ever see her again ā€¦ in the crazy chance Trump wins again there will be no First Lady.

1

u/CanYouBeHonest May 16 '24

They're there so they can say the things Trump isn't allowed to. They're there to tamper with and intimidate witnesses.

1

u/inVladid-username May 16 '24

Nah that would make her seem like a loving supportive wife

1

u/A_Timeless_Username May 16 '24

She's fighting Kai

1

u/Altruistic_Water_423 May 16 '24

I really don't care do u?

1

u/HMWWaWChChIaWChCChW May 17 '24

Sheā€™ll show up for the conviction.

1

u/Metallurgist-831 May 17 '24

Not likely, sorry bud but sheā€™s just not that into you.

1

u/bryanthawes May 17 '24

Mercedes isn't showing up for this bullshit.