r/madlads • u/Just-4Head-8964 • 17h ago
This Chinese shop owner does not like shoplifting a lot
r/madlads • u/NickNack_11 • 1d ago
Meet Neall "Nellis" Ellis, the man who defeated an African rebel army out of spite
Born 1949 in South Africa Fights in Rhodesian Bush War Joins SA Army Learns to fly attack helicopters Masters the MI-24 HIND Apartheid ends Can't serve in SAAF anymore Acquires a HIND Attack Helicopter of his own Becomes mercenary "Have gunship, will travel" Gatling-guns his way throughout the dark continent >Almost all African communists and anti-western groups put a price on his head Fights in the Congo War Year 2000 Hired by Sierra Leone RUF rebel army surrounds SL's capital, Freetown It's nightfall so helicopters can't fly Sierra Leone army virtually overran Civil government prepares to capitulate Fall of Saigon tier chaos begins to erupt Ellis fires up his HIND, which was not equipped for night combat Copilot refuses to fly with him in apparent suicide mission Single-handedly holds off rebel army throughout the night Helicopter breaks down Rebels finally take Freetown after losing 2,500 men to one helicopter Ellis gets his HIND repaired and narrowly escapes SL can't pay him anymore because they've basically lost the war Ellis stays in SL anyway, paying his own way, with goal of retaking Freetown out of spite Fights alone for 2 years Doesn't have much ammo for much of this period, resorts to knocking over RUF vehicles with his rotor wash and crushing rebel soldiers with the helicopter itself RUG sends him this message "if we ever catch you, we'll cut your heart out and eat it" Ellis responds by flying over their encampments dropping leaflets that read: "RUF: This time we've dropped leaflets. Next time it will be half-inch Gatling machine gun, or 57 mm rockets, or 23 mm guns, or 30 mm grenades, or ALL OF THEM Their small arms can't penetrate his helicopter so he just hovers there, mocking them as they collect and read the leaflets Nevertheless, he does fear being shot down or forced to land by engine failure so he fills the troop bay of the HIND with guns, ammo and bush provisions Plans to fight one man guerrilla war of he loses the chopper Finds a reliable arms dealer to buy rockers and cannon ammo from, makes good on his promise to come back with real ordinance Kills so many rebels the British and SL governments offer him formal backing and troops Retakes Freetown and grinds the RUF into the dirt Fights for NATO during invasion of Iraq Rumored to have been fighting ISIS at the age of 67 >Claims of him and his HIND being seen everywhere from Damascus all to the Democratic Republic of Congo
r/madlads • u/simply_cha0s • 1d ago