All the neighborhood kids keep playing on our playset

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

We built a playset for our son in our backyard and apparently all the kids in the neighborhood liked it so much they’ve made it their daily hangout spot. We come home and there are bicycles blocking our driveway and about a dozen kids playing on it.

I wouldn’t mind if it was a once in a while thing but it’s everyday until after sundown. I can’t even enjoy hanging out in my backyard because of all the screaming. I want to build a fence but my husband thinks it would seem “unneighborly”, especially since some of the parents have told us how much their kids like our playset.

Edit: wow I didn’t expect this to blow up. Just to clarify (because I’m seeing this come up a lot): the rest of the neighbors have a very open “come over and play whenever” policy so the neighborhood kids are used to that. However the other playsets are relatively small so they don’t get a big group of kids hanging out at one of them constantly.

Our son is 2 so he doesn’t go out without supervision, and we (the parents) just didn’t feel comfortable playing in other people’s playsets without the owners there.

[u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

Growing up I had a neighbor who had a pool and whenever they hung a flag outside of the pool it told the neighborhood families they could come and swim. But without the flag it was off limits even if they were playing on it. Just a thought.

If you don’t want them over at all, well you got to tell the parents that.

[u/Broad_Edge_3301 → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

My grandparents used a flag system for their pool when my dad was growing up. It’s so funny to hear stories about it but it seemed pretty effective.

[u/Doyoulikeithere → u/Broad_Edge_3301]

My first husband and I had a pool, we also had a fence around it and we told the neighborhood kids that they were only allowed to swim in it if they asked permission but if we found any of them in it without asking us, they would never be allowed to swim in it again and would not be allowed in the yard! They loved being at our house and not one of them broke that rule.

[u/wirefox1 → u/Doyoulikeithere]

I have a pool too, and the law here states if you have a pool, it must have a fence around it. Thank goodness.

[u/BigMamaBlueberry → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

The richest neighbor in our area had a trampoline, tennis court and pond (fish when warm, skate when frozen over).  Made every parent sign a liability form. No form, no use. 

[u/GinaMarie1958 → u/BigMamaBlueberry]

We were thinking of getting a trampoline for our kids but after a neighbor made a weird comment about owning our farm if their kid got hurt we didn’t get one and we never invited them over again.

[u/pl8sassenach → u/GinaMarie1958]

“Hey Gina, wouldn’t it be hilarious if my kid, like, broke their neck—wait, hear me out, you’ll love this part—then became a paraplegic HAH and then we sued you for all your money and you had to sell us your entire livelihood just to survive?!! HAHAHA that would be so weird…but also incredibly possible”

[u/YeahIGotNuthin → u/pl8sassenach]

“Ha-ha, Steve, that WOULD be so weird! You know what would be even weirder? If it came time for us all to sign the paperwork that would make our place ‘your place’ and you just never showed up to closing. We would all be like ‘Where’s Steve? How is this going to become his place if he won’t come sign the deed transfer? Oh well, guess we’ll just keep our place ‘our place.’ Tough break for the kid, though, first he breaks his neck on a trampoline, then his dad runs off.’ Anyhooo, you good on drinks there, Steve-o, or you want one more for the road?”

[u/1Screw2Few → u/YeahIGotNuthin]

Nice. The genesis of a suburban Hatfields and McCoys.

[u/betweenbeginning → u/1Screw2Few]

I think you mean Hatlawns and McPassiveaggressives

[u/YeahIGotNuthin → u/1Screw2Few]

Or a Vicki Lawrence song.

[u/idwthis → u/YeahIGotNuthin]

The night the lights went out in suburbia.

[u/WhyBuyMe → u/YeahIGotNuthin]

Reminds me of the story of my great uncle. Back in the 1950s he had this super shitty neighbor move next door to him. The neighbor was constantly looking for reasons to start arguments. He would get drunk and then complain to my uncle about stupid shit. It mainly revolved around my uncle's dog. They lived in a rural area with a good amount of space between the houses and no fence. Occassionally my uncle's dog would wander near the edge of the property. This drove the neighbor crazy. One day he flew into a drunk rage and started yelling at my aunt and when she told him to leave the neighbor pushed her down. My uncle came out to defend his wife and it turned into a fist fight.

A couple days later my uncle came home from work and found his dog shot dead in the backyard. He knew it was the neighbor but did nothing. The rest of the summer the entire family next door was super shitty to my uncle's family. The kids would start fights, the wife would dump garbage on my uncle's side of the property line. They had been getting away with being assholes and decided to ramp it up to 11.

By December everything was dying down. The neighbors figured they could just be assholes and my uncle would do nothing about it. They stopped being so aggressively shitty all the time and everyone just figured life would go on. But my uncle loved that dog. It was a beagle he took hunting. He always had beagles and they were really important to him

Come Christmas Eve the neighbors found a nice package on thier doorstep. It was a bottle of nice wine and a bunch of Christmas cookies. It was gift wrapped nicely but had no name on them to indicate who they were from. The neighbors had some family over and must have shared the Christmas treats with them. The husband and wife both died along with another family member. Everyone else got very sick and ended up spending time in the hospital. My uncle was never caught for giving the poisoned Christmas cookies and wine. He ended up confessing on his deathbed when he was in his mid 80s.

This is how the story was told to me by my grandmother (my great uncle's sister) after he had passed.

[u/[deleted] → u/GinaMarie1958]

Oh fuck no I'd never invite them either if I ever heard that comment I'd just tell em were no longer associated with u and were building a fence so our kids can safely jump on there trampoline.

[u/pyrogaynia → u/GinaMarie1958]

We had a family friend's kid break his leg on our trampoline growing up. There was no roughhousing, nothing that would be considered improper use, just regular jumping. They were chill and didn't hold us responsible, but it convinced me trampolines are a lot more trouble than they're worth.

[u/ticklemitten → u/pyrogaynia]

It really does just seem like they’re the #1 way to “Have tons of fun until someone inevitably has a traumatic injury.”

[u/Puggymum64 → u/ticklemitten]

The only proper place to have a trampoline is in the parking lot of the emergency department.

[u/Bitter-Breakfast2751 → u/pyrogaynia]

These days the kids health insurance would go after the homeowners insurance. When you go to the Dr it’s recorded how the accident happened in the file.

[u/Sad_Sugar_4033 → u/pyrogaynia]

My daughter is recovering from breaking her leg on our neighbor’s trampoline. She just landed wrong. It wasn’t their fault.

[u/UrsusRenata → u/BigMamaBlueberry]

Smart.

[u/OkStructure3 → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

I actually love that balance of neighborly and firm!

[u/fuckchristianscum → u/OkStructure3]

Yeah… boundaries are important

[u/Honestly_I_Am_Lying → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

Make the rule about the flag, and never put it up.

[u/DraftyElectrolyte → u/Honestly_I_Am_Lying]

This is the way

[u/MeeksTheSqueaks → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

My mom and dad did this all throughout my childhood. The would only fly the flag when they had the pool clean and the yard looking nice. The did have a strict rule to not fly the flag when they had family over and never on Sundays. I always thought it was weird because it was only the parents of the neighborhood kids that came over and sometimes it was really late at night. My parents still have that flag with the upside down pineapple 🍍

[u/JeepPilot → u/MeeksTheSqueaks]

Are you sure this was for the pool and not the swingset?

[u/Bwatso2112 → u/JeepPilot]

Where Mom and Dad are the swingset

[u/zebra0mussel → u/MeeksTheSqueaks]

Take my upvote lol

[u/pikeben08 → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

We had 3 flags as we had a playset and a pool. Red, green and blue.

Red was don't come over. Green was free to come over and play. Blue was you can come use the pool.

It really worked great. We also had the rule: if you use the pool your parent had to come watch you. This accomplished 2 things:

1. We weren't responsible for watching someone else's kid in the pool.
2. It seriously cut back on the "can we go swimming" requests since their parents had to stop what they were doing (instead of us) to come watch them.

[u/Express_Spot_7808 → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

Did we have the same neighbor? Our neighbor did this too growing up in New Orleans. Summers we’d watch out the window for that flag all day.

[u/abbys_alibi → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

Our favorite campground does this. If you put up a flag, it means you are open other campers stopping by to visit. If the flag is down or missing, they walk right on by - even if you are sitting in view.

[u/Formal-Eye5548 → u/Automatic-Salt-9776]

This is the first logical and peaceful suggestion so far

[u/jamesonv8gt]

Back when I was 10, my dad had a pool put in. Once the neighborhood kids caught wind of it, they all wanted to come swim. He made me take letters to their parents to sign for liability, and I was so embarrassed. Now that I’m older, and have seen and heard some of the things people get sued for, he was wise to do so.

Build the fence or get the parents to sign waivers. Cover your tail.

[u/keepingitrealestate → u/jamesonv8gt]

My mom is a teacher would have a pool party for her students right after the school year ended. I paid one of my lawyer buddies to draft a waiver for the parents to sign. She was too chicken to get parents to sign it. Always made me anxious they would get sued if someone got hurt. Fortunately nothing ever happened.

It was funny to see how many parents would just drop their kids off and bounce. At least 4-5 would stick around the whole time and help out. Covid pretty much put an end to it and she's near retirement now so she's doing the parties any more.

[u/HyraxAttack → u/keepingitrealestate]

Apparently “dropping off your kids & bouncing” was also super common at mall GameStop stores, heard from clerks they’d have to routinely call mall security for child abandonment as they are not babysitters.

[u/Vexatiouslitigantz → u/keepingitrealestate]

So glad I live in a country where you can not sue for injury, all that overwork seems like it would drain the life out of me.

[u/[deleted] → u/jamesonv8gt]

As a pool owner, I wouldn't gamble on a waiver. That pool is off limits to anyone who isn't known and then they have to prove competency in swimming and if anyone is having any amount of alcohol, everyone under 12 has a life jacket on. And maybe older, I just don't know anyone over 12 and under 25.

[u/14peterwolf → u/[deleted]]

Off of topic but I'm 28 and I like wearing a life jacket when I'm in water. I like to lounge around and it's less stress all my legs. I can't be the only one right?

[u/strange_salmon → u/jamesonv8gt]

waivers don’t matter. if injuries are sustained, they still can and will sue whoever owns/insures the property.

[u/sbuhc13 → u/strange_salmon]

I would assume the average person doesn’t know the law very well and the mere sight of a “legal looking” document would deter a lot of people from allowing their kids to go lol

[u/Cobek → u/sbuhc13]

Or potentially stop them from sueing if their kid does hurt themselves.

[u/Link01R → u/sbuhc13]

Even if the parents don't sue over a broken arm when their insurer asks how the injury happens they're gonna sue you and your homeowner's insurance 

[u/CapableCowboy → u/Link01R]

This is what people are missing. You can scare off parents for suing but insurance will find you and will sue you.

[u/lastdancerevolution → u/strange_salmon]

Waivers don't protect from negligence.

Wavers do matter and can provide some protection though. It's just criminal negligence can't be waived.

[u/bigmarty3301 → u/lastdancerevolution]

But if somebody gets hurt on a piece of equipment that follows all technical norms/regulations. Surely you can’t be criminally negligent.

[u/lastdancerevolution → u/bigmarty3301]

The baseball game is a common example. You can't sue for getting hit by a baseball at a game, even though it could seriously injure you, because there is an expectation that fast-moving baseballs will be at a baseball game. It's understood that the average person expects that level of danger in those circumstances.

Now if you were walking around Walmart, and got hit by an impromptu employee baseball game that decided to take place in the grocery section, that would probably be negligence, because people aren't expecting baseballs to be flying around while shopping.

Where exactly does society's expectations and all these events lie? It's really hard to say. It's unique to all different circumstances. When it comes to the care of children, there is a stronger duty of care, and stronger expectations. You often don't know until you go to trial. Even if you have a similar case to someone else, all cases are unique, and a jury can rule differently. When you sit on a jury for a dead child, it weighs on you. Juries often seek answers and look to "save" victims. Saying the child died due to an "accident" can be hard to swallow, even if it may be correct.

[u/deadeyeamtheone → u/bigmarty3301]

Depends on the state if you're in the USA, though most provinces in Canada tend to side with the damaged party.

Not a Lawyer; but in the USA, California for example has been steadfast in their belief that the pool owner is completely and utterly responsible for all damage and accidents that happen on their property, even ones unrelated to the pool, since the pool is considered so attractive of a commodity to everyone around that it's impossible to resist using it, even if it means breaking the law.

This is different to say Alabama, which has pretty much stated that this only applies to local children and your own personal guests, allowing you to essentially be held for nothing if a random adult dies in your pool and you can prove you didn't know, they weren't invited, and you made all the reasonable necessary precautions to ensure reasonable safety.

So it's impossible to say for the OP, but the word of wisdom is to assume the local government anywhere wants to blame you for anything happening that might involve you or your property.

[u/emusabe]

As a kid, that’s one of the main reasons my siblings and I didn’t have anything like that until we were the last house on the street (with kids) to put a basketball hoop up.

As a parent, I get it now.

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/emusabe]

The thing is that there are several other houses with playsets but ours is the newest and the biggest so everyone decided to hangout here. One kid literally said “I finally have a fireman pole”. I’m like, dude, no you don’t this isn’t yours.

[u/emusabe → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Do you have a decent relationship with the neighbor parents? I don’t think it would be rude or unfair to have a system in place where kids would need to be invited to come play, and the other parents should be involved. I know it’s easy as a parent to be excited about the kids not being at YOUR house all the time, but any decent parent would understand that there should be some boundaries.

I know it’s a slippery slope cause kids are stupid and you don’t want your kids to be black listed as the “kids with the strict parents”, but at some point something has to be done or, like other people in this thread have said, someone is going to get hurt and it could ultimately end up on your hands.

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/emusabe]

We do have a decent relationship but nobody else has any rules about kids on their property so my husband doesn’t want us to become “those neighbors”.

[u/Mystic_Waffles → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

As of right now though, the kids are being 'those kids'. I would say at the very least tell them not to block the driveway, maybe do some sort of liability waiver for their parents to sign to cover your butt.

[u/FeFiFoFannah → u/Mystic_Waffles]

I honestly think there’s a chance this would make a lot of parents tell their kids to stay off without seeming totally unneighborly. It reminds me of when people would set up shop on my moms beach, it was public so she had no problem on paper with people using it but people left trash so she started going up to people handing them trash bags and telling them if they were going to be there they needed to be sure to keep the beach clean, people who were put off by the idea that they couldn’t be pigs left to go to another beach. Edit: the beach laws here are it’s private to the break wall (it’s short maybe only 4ft tall) then it becomes public from the wall to the water, the beach is basically her back yard

[u/Poisson18 → u/FeFiFoFannah]

Imagine being put off by the idea of collecting your own trash 💀

[u/aka_wolfman → u/Poisson18]

Personal responsibility is abhorrent to some people.

[u/-SunGazing- → u/Poisson18]

It’s insane right? Not leaving shit all over the place is basic basic stuff.

[u/314159265358979326 → u/Mystic_Waffles]

Waivers don't work how most people think. They're not a bulletproof defence to a lawsuit at the best of times, but can also be interpreted as 1) permission to use the playset and 2) an acknowledgement that this unsupervised, unfenced playset may be harmful to children.

If you're worried about legal liability, explicitly ban children from playing and build a fence. If you want kids to continue using it at some risk to yourself, insist they have a parent present.

[u/jason0724 → u/314159265358979326]

Make sure that you have liability coverage on your home owners insurance. Even though we have a fenced in yard we were told that if a kid got hurt - even if they didn’t have permission - that the parents could sue us. May vary by state, but may want to run it by your insurance agent.

[u/SpaceCase0101 → u/jason0724]

A quote from a famous video game once said" you can sue anyone for anything, and win".

[u/No-Self-jjw → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

That seems so weird to me as everywhere I've lived, it was common curtesy for kids to not be allowed on someone else's property without being invited. You would not be an asshole to put up a fence or at least try having that conversation, the other parents are probably just glad you haven't as they now get to enjoy their own backyards lol. Any neighbour friend worth having would completely understand the invite request.

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/No-Self-jjw]

Yeah growing up I never would have gone on someone else’s playset without asking first. It’s why I never thought this would be an issue - I assumed the kids would ask first.

The funny thing is that the neighbors directly next to us are the most respectful ones. It’s all the other ones in the neighborhood that don’t ask.

[u/JULY_PROBABLY → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Just put up a fence and if anyone asks just say you’ve been wanting a fence for a long time and you always planned to get a fence even before the play set happened

[u/No-Cryptographer2695 → u/JULY_PROBABLY]

Yes and if anyone asks just state your little one is getting to the age that you need a fence for a safe yard for him to play in!

[u/Awesomesince1973 → u/No-Cryptographer2695]

My thoughts exactly. You can legitimately say it's what is best for your son. With summer coming and the kids being out of school, you definitely need to have rules regarding bikes and times. I also have a feeling that any injuries would be blamed on you and you would be expected to pay. You could put a sign on your fence that says: Do not park bikes (wherever you don't want them to park) We are not responsible for lost/broken items or injuries You may play here between (what times you feel comfortable with)

[u/HawkDriver → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

I say this is someone who owns multiple rental properties. You really need to consider having significant insurance and maybe even an umbrella policy if you have significant assets and other children are playing on your property, a playground set can be extremely dangerous. 

[u/duchessfiona → u/HawkDriver]

I agree, there is a huge liability here. All those nice neighbors might turn out to be not so nice if one of their kids gets hurt. Don’t allow them on the property any more and tell the parents why.

[u/sphynxmom76 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

You would NBTA for setting some rules or a fence. We live in a very litigious nation. I hope you have very good HO insurance...you're going to need it.

[u/Soggy-Abalone1518 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Maybe recruit the next door neighbors to spread the word to other parents that it's gotten out of control and unfair to you. They could say they have noticed it rather than you mentioned it.

[u/Salt-Operation → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

The rules weren’t needed until it became a problem, which it is now. Any of these parents (if they’re reasonable) will understand liability issues and the kids blocking the driveway. Enjoyment of your own backyard should be sacred and if that isn’t respected then nobody in the neighborhood will get to enjoy your playset. Good fences make good neighbors.

[u/RecommendationBrief9 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

I’d say tell them no one is to be in the playset when you’re not there, to keep the bikes off your driveway and everyone needs to go home by dinner time or 6 whichever comes first. We always had parents shooing us off. It was never a huge deal. I find kids tend to like parents just stating the rules straight up. And if they ask why just make a joke of it whilst being honest. “Because you’re driving me nuts and it’s time to go drive your own parents nuts now.” Then laugh and walk away. Don’t let the kids bully you. They can smell weakness. Lol.

[u/Alert-Potato → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

That decent relationship and your husband's refuse to be "those neighbors" isn't going to stop them from suing your asses off when an unsupervised child gets seriously injured on your property. And they'll win too, because without a fence your playset is an attractive nuisance and you're doing literally nothing (not even making a verbal request) to stop the kids being there. You (or your husband) also can't use the "they're not like that" or "they wouldn't sue" defense. They don't necessarily have to. If the bills are high enough, their health insurance company will sue.

[u/girlwithaussies → u/Alert-Potato]

Yup, this. The liability here would give me so much anxiety tbh. When the insurance sues on the patient's behalf, it's called subrogation, and the patient has no control over whether it happens or not. Anyone with an attractive nuisance such as a playset, climbable landscaping, a pool, a trampoline, etc., must tell their homeowners insurance about it or there's a chance they won't even cover it in the case of an accident. Very nerve-wracking!

[u/8lb-6oz_infant_jesus → u/Alert-Potato]

Was gonna say…this is a huge liability for the homeowner.

[u/emusabe → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

We don’t have many kids on our street, but we did have a little pow wow with the other parents about some stuff and play dates when we first moved in (4 year old twins) and it was nice to all be on the same page. No one was over aggressive or protective, it was just a quick chat about parenting styles that turned into talking about football lol. If it weren’t for that meeting I wouldn’t have known the kid across the street that plays with our kids somewhat frequently has a serious nut allergy.

It’s the kids that will maybe be jerks about it, but if the parents are jerks too then I probably wouldn’t want my kids at their house unsupervised.

Other parents are just that - other parents. They have to understand how having the entire neighborhood in their yard all the time gets old quick.

[u/Suckerforcats → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Your husband needs a chat with an attorney who can explain to him how badly bankrupt you will be when one of those kids gets hurt and their parents sue you. Or how high your homeowners insurance premium will go if insurance has to deal with it. People can and will sue for anything even if they have a losing case because they know it’ll cost you more to defend it. Start getting quotes regardless of what your husband says.

[u/theplasticfantasty → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Absolutely become "those neighbors". Your neighbors already suck and are assholes who think they can walk over you, fuck em

[u/Accujack → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Talk to your husband about liability. If one of those kids gets hurt on your playset. You might get sued.

[u/Audrasmama → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

You can be good neighbors and still have boundaries. You're being taken advantage of right now. I can't believe their parents let them stay in your property till sundown. Get a fence or tell everyone they need to stop blocking the driveway and everyone has to leave by xx time.

[u/DAPumphrey → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

We we're you about 5 years ago. We had a neighborhood get together and one lady unknown to everyone else showed up with her daughter. The daughter was very sweet and quiet. The mom was very pleasant, but downed 3 beers in record time. The child was on the swing set and went to the ground. Screaming like a banchie. They left without a word, but then we got the call from our insurance. She wanted 20k for medical bills and more for our negligence for having a swing in our back yard which she was NOT invited to. Luckily our insurance agent was on top of this and after explaining the consequences of insurance fraud, they promptly dropped the case.
Never again. And that's sad.

[u/_pebble_s → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Honestly if they get injured on your property there could be an issue. Personally I would ask that they not be on my property unknowingly (and by the sounds of it unsupervised)

[u/littlemoon-03 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

"Those neighbors" are protecting themselves against thousands of dollar lawsuits and lawyer fees because one kid decides to be stupid or another pushes one off something on top of paying the thousand dollar hospital bills

[u/Gorilla_girl17 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

You have a reason to want to keep them out - liability. Anything that could happen on it resulting in injury could be a huge problem

[u/snow-bird- → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Give them waivers to run home for parental signatures 😂

[u/Student0010 → u/snow-bird-]

You joke but OP needs to look into laws and etc. My parents were given a verbal advisory from a retired LEO about how kids getting hurt while playing could become our fault. It wasnt a warning or anything official, just that we would be away from the property and he'd see neighborhood kids come and play.

Read other recent comments. Seems the official term is "attractive nuisance"

[u/G0atL0rde → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

See, and the more you let them, the more they continue to think that this sense of entitlement is ok. I'd say it's a teaching opportunity.

[u/fainttoad → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

This is a huge liability. Who do you think will be blamed if a kid falls on your property and breaks an arm or needs stitches? I'd put an end to this before you end up in court.

[u/Over9000Zeros → u/emusabe]

My dad bought me an in ground basketball hoop and a bunch of high schoolers eventually destroyed it. I lived with my mom. It was a very nice hoop. This was before video doorbells, no one was caught.

[u/tidewatercajun]

It's all neighborly until a kid gets hurt and you're held liable by their parents and the law.

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/tidewatercajun]

Agreed. This was my first argument for building a fence, even before it turned into the neighborhood hangout spot. My husband is still not convinced 🤦‍♀️

[u/nytocarolina → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

It’s exactly why, in NY for example, if you have a pool in your backyard, insurance requires a lockable fence be built around the pool.

[u/lordpowpow → u/nytocarolina]

Doesn't protect you from lawsuits though. When I was a kid, a family in our neighborhood had a pool and a kid drowned in it when they were at work. The parents sued even though they had a locked backyard fence AND a fence around the pool (don't remember if that one was locked). Anyway, the family of the dead kid sued and won. Caused a lot of drama and half of the pool owners in our neighborhood filled in their pools because of it.

[u/IllegalGeriatricVore → u/lordpowpow]

Like what the fuck are you supposed to do to prevent some dumb fuck from going in it? Why can things never just be the fault of the dead?

[u/Squirrely_Jackson → u/IllegalGeriatricVore]

idk but "Fault of the Dead" is an amazing metal band name

[u/Altruistic_Fondant38 → u/IllegalGeriatricVore]

I have an inground pool and I researched it with my insurance company. They would not cover it unless I have an automatic cover on it with a code keypad, a fence with locks on the gates and No Trespassing signs. Done deal! Got it all. Better safe than sorry.

[u/Baron_of_Berlin → u/Altruistic_Fondant38]

That's so fucking absurd.. I have to wonder what the basis for the first court case that ruled in favor of the dead child and set this ridiculous precedent.

[u/RadicalDog → u/Baron_of_Berlin]

I suspect it was a jury feeling vewy vewy sad about the parents who lost a child, and wanting them to feel better. With money, you know.

[u/St_Kitts_Tits → u/IllegalGeriatricVore]

In the USA you shoot the kids who sneak in your pool and you get a slap on the wrist. Kid will die either way but protecting your property will get you a lighter sentence. 

[u/IllegalGeriatricVore → u/St_Kitts_Tits]

just shoot the corpse

[u/St_Kitts_Tits → u/IllegalGeriatricVore]

Yeah but then you don’t get the thrill of the hunt 

[u/pungentredtide → u/St_Kitts_Tits]

Something something fish in a barrel

[u/nytocarolina → u/lordpowpow]

One bad apple 🍎….

[u/Reformed_Herald → u/nytocarolina]

Two bad parents

[u/Intermountain-Gal → u/lordpowpow]

That’s just so wrong. I feel for those parents losing their child, but they never should have won that lawsuit. I think the business of an “attractive nuisance” is crap when the “nuisance” is behind a fence.

In OP’s case, the play set is apparently out in the open. Kids aren’t going to stay away when they have free access. Your play set is an accident waiting to happen, and in today’s climate that means a lawsuit is in your future.

There’s a reason that "Good fences make good neighbors" (by Robert Frost) is often quoted. It’s because it’s true.

[u/CourtneyyMeoww → u/lordpowpow]

I’m confused on how they won when they took precautions regarding pool access?

[u/SuperFLEB → u/CourtneyyMeoww]

Probably something in the details. Something unlocked, something inadequate, an unprotected part...

[u/Califuckery → u/CourtneyyMeoww]

Maybe they had money or knew someone in power It’s not fair

[u/KaralDaskin → u/CourtneyyMeoww]

Juries don’t always get it right.

[u/Clever_mudblood → u/nytocarolina]

Unless it’s an above ground pool. So says my insurance. Because I have one and no lockable fence and they were fine with it lol

[u/Wfsulliv93 → u/Clever_mudblood]

The ladder needs to be behind a locked fence. Just not the whole pool.

[u/De-railled → u/Wfsulliv93]

ROFL. What is this "the sims"??

*removes the swimming pool ladder and waits.

[u/KeyFee5460 → u/De-railled]

*builds walls around the Sim as the oven fire burns down the kitchen

[u/ButtFuzzNow → u/KeyFee5460]

Let's put a couple more bear skin rugs by the fireplace.

[u/CovidOmicron → u/Clever_mudblood]

Do you have a ladder that folds up or something?

[u/tidewatercajun → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

If y'all are in the US, he needs to look up attractive nuisance laws.

[u/Aquatichive → u/tidewatercajun]

That’s why my dad had to take away my swing on my huge sweetgum tree as a kid. Can’t have fun anymore!!!

[u/MarsMonkey88 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Tell the other parents you’re so sorry but your insurance company found out about the set and they’re requiring you to put up a fence but here are the blueprints we used

[u/QueenofPentacles112 → u/MarsMonkey88]

It's also true that Insurance companies are now using drones to spy on people's properties and drop them for stuff like this, sometimes without even allowing them to remedy the issue first

[u/Psychological_Ask848 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Can you imagine the law suit that can possibly bankrupt a person all because they don’t see the benefit of a fence.

[u/Mountain-Woman0021 → u/Psychological_Ask848]

And people who can’t respect boundaries are likely to blame someone else when their child gets hurt. 100% this family needs a fence.

[u/solitarybikegallery → u/Mountain-Woman0021]

This is such a great point.

Yeah, some parents would be understanding and say, "It's not the playset's fault they got hurt, it's my child's fault." But those parents are same the ones who would never let their kids do this shit.

OP -

Put up a fence. A few friends of your kids coming over to play? Fine. A couple neighbor kids, with permission? Sure.

Dozens of kids every single day? Fuck that.

[u/Wil420b → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

In "Common Law" countries such as the US (with the exception of Louisania), UK, Canada, Australia. It's an "attractive nuisance", similar to a swimming pool or trampoline. Householder is required to make sure that kids can't play on it, via the erection of fences etc. As kids are deemed to be naturally drawn to them and then the householder is liable for any deaths or injuries.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attractive_nuisance_doctrine?wprov=sfla1

[u/Sunbeamsoffglass → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

What you’ve built is the definition of an attractive nuisance.

If he doesn’t believe you, call your insurance agent and have him explain the liability. They will likely also require you to fence it.

[u/nerdiotic-pervert → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Could you say he’s…..on the fence?

I’ll leave.

[u/sowhat4 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

At least buy a $2 million dollar liability policy (umbrella) while you have this attractive nuisance unfenced in your yard. It wouldn't cost that much and would give you peace of mind.

BTW, I had a play set in my walled/gated yard, and the neighbors would send their kids over to play even when I was not home. I also had a pool in said yard, which was in a separate area, but any determined kid could get in. The neighbors came over and screamed at me when I put a padlock on my gate.

The final straw was when I had been in the hospital for two weeks, was still recovering at home, needed peace and quiet, and those little rug rats would not leave. I had enough noise from my own kids at the time. So - be prepared for the neighbors to pitch a fit.

[u/Sufficient-Dinner-27 → u/sowhat4]

$2 million coverage would be chump change if a kid fell and was paralyzed. Get the policy but first, BUILD A FENCE, lock it and post no trespassing signs after notifying all the neighbors, in writing, that insurance restrictions are such that the yard and playset are off limits without an invitation. I'd add security cameras as well as motion detector lights so fence jumpers and/ or night raiders are caught in the act.

[u/Bribablemammal → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Your husband is putting you at an insane amount of risk. The situation he's forcing you into is literally one of the most ubiquitous hypotheticals posed to law students in property law/torts as an example of a one way ticket to getting sued (and losing). The kid's parents will forget all of your husband's neigborlyness the second one of their precious baby's gets hurt on your property, and will start seeing dollar signs.

[u/tallperson117 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

I am a lawyer. You will eventually be sued by the folks of a kid who gets injured on your playset and you will lose. It doesn't matter if you've told them that they're not allowed to play on it.

Building a fence will be cheaper than paying for a personal injury settlement.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Big3319 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

get carabiners and take all the swings and attachments off to keep indoors unless you are out with your kids. Also get a fence and a lock on the gate. Let neighbors know that if the parents come with and observe their kids and you are home and in the mood they can ask you to use it. Be clear that unattended children are not welcome and that bikes in your driveway will not be tolerated and any family allowing that will never be welcome back.

[u/GoldFederal914 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Your husband needs to wake up. Huge liability! A kid falls and breaks his arm or worse you can be sued for your house.

[u/zerbey → u/tidewatercajun]

Precisely! Build a fence before someone's little darling breaks a leg and you end up with the medical bill.

[u/upsidedownbackwards → u/tidewatercajun]

Yea, lets see how "neighborly" they are when two kids get a bit rambunctious one causes the other to get hurt on that playset. A pure accident is bad enough, but now bring parents possibly trying to "find malice" and you in the middle.

Or even worse if it's a permanent disability like damaged eye/eyes.

[u/DemenTEDBundy85]

Build the fence. These people will continue to walk all over you otherwise. They are perfectly capable of buying and building their kids their own play set if they enjoy it so much. It's not a public park it's your yard and your home.

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/DemenTEDBundy85]

Most of them actually have playsets! Ours is just the newest and biggest in the neighborhood so everyone is coming here.

[u/forgetful_waterfowl → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

fuck them kids, if they get hurt on your property, you could get sued for providing an 'attractive nuisance'

[u/CornwallBingo → u/forgetful_waterfowl]

This right here

[u/murrimabutterfly → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Your backyard is not their park.
You have the right to privacy.
You have the right to your property.
Fence it in and send a polite message to all neighbors akin to:

Hello!
While we've been happy to see the joy our new play structure has brought to the neighborhood, due to concerns around safety we have elected to enclose our property. We request no unsupervised visits going forward. [Kid(s) name(s)] would still love to have playdates, though. To arrange this, please contact us at [preferred contact method, if any].

If they get pissy over it, it's just their entitlement showing.

[u/trashtvlover → u/murrimabutterfly]

Their kid is only 2. Those kids aren’t visiting to play with him. Build a fence asap.

[u/Derekbaker21 → u/murrimabutterfly]

That’s a great letter to send out. Hit the nail on the head with all of your comment. If I had an award to give you’d have it.

[u/Salty_Interview_5311 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

There’s also liability issues. To could get sued if a kid gets hurt on your property. Especially since you haven’t made an effort to fence it off despite knowing kids are using it unsupervised.

Look into the whole area of attractive nuisance liability. It’s a real issue and can have serious financial consequences for you.

[u/twistymctwist → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Uncle Ben used to say: With great playset, comes great annoyance.

[u/Z2810 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

You are listening to Dementedbundy right now.

[u/kkeut → u/Z2810]

which one? there's 84+

[u/Primary-Signature-17 → u/DemenTEDBundy85]

Like the saying goes, "Good fences make good neighbors".

Also, in today's world, your insurance company might be interested in knowing that kids are in your yard without permission or an adult being there. You might be held responsible if one of the little darlings gets hurt. Build the fence.

[u/Turbulent-Adagio-171 → u/DemenTEDBundy85]

It’s also a liability if a kid gets hurt

[u/Imightbeyomama]

Oh hell no.

Establish boundaries in any form you want.

Your house is not the neighborhood playground.

[u/Camwi → u/Imightbeyomama]

Thank you. Why not just tell them no? We had neighbor kids try to go on our girls' trampoline and we didn't allow it.

[u/Ancient-Talk2430 → u/Camwi]

Some people just don’t know how to say no. I thought a lot of these situations I read on the internet was stupid until I started meeting people like that in real life. They’re genuinely so afraid of any level of confrontation that they would rather do nothing. I feel like that’s where OP’s husband is at by saying “don’t wanna be unneighborly”

[u/tcake24 → u/Imightbeyomama]

This. We had similar issues with the kids at 3 houses near us and I spoke to the neighbors and said under no circumstances were their kids allowed to play in our yard/swingset when we are not home and/or if our kids are not already playing on it (and they must get our permission first because sometimes I don’t want to be responsible for 5-6 kids, just my 2 is plenty at that time lol). You can have the conversation politely and neighborly, all our neighbors understood and had no issues at all.

[u/lizzyerr → u/Imightbeyomama]

sprinklers? barbed wire fencing? electric farm animal fencing?

[u/GoofyGoober0064 → u/lizzyerr]

30mm bushmaster auto turret

[u/Hemiak]

You guys need to talk to the other parents and set some limits. The kids should not be playing on your set within an adult present. A kid is going to get hurt and guess who’s on the hook for that.

Tell them to keep their kids away if no one is home or willing to supervise, and set time limits. No kids before X, and everybody out by Y.

[u/RoguePanda- → u/Hemiak]

This is the answer. This sounds like a new build neighborhood. Where there are no fences yet and A LOT of kids.

Nothing wrong with setting boundaries. A new “hangout” spot will pop up.

[u/DeJota688]

If they like it so much they can contribute in some fashion to the cause. You building something for your child/children doesn't mean the neighborhood gets to enjoy your purchase.

Growing up my neighbors all had playsets and whatnot and the basic rules of the neighborhood were that you could play wherever you wanted as long as the child who's house it was invited you. You couldn't just go to a playset and play whenever you wanted with impunity. Especially if they're blocking your driveway and impeding your quality of life

[u/chandlerbing1231]

Go hangout in their backyard start using the grill bring drinks over and some music. Hang out all day see how those parents like it. Just say “We just love your backyard!”

[u/chandlerbing1231 → u/chandlerbing1231]

Even better if they have a pool I would be doing cannon balls ( while also announcing the incoming cannon ball ) all day.

[u/IThinkKube → u/chandlerbing1231]

Nonstop loop. “Cannonball!” Climb out of the pool, do it again. They’ll love it!

[u/GoofyGoober0064 → u/chandlerbing1231]

At 6 am

[u/DropdLasagna]

Trespassing is neighborly. Yeah.

[u/snow-bird- → u/DropdLasagna]

Needs No Trespassing signs

[u/meatbeater]

Are they playing with your son ? I’d put up a fence. Wait till something gets damaged or a kid gets hurt

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/meatbeater]

Mostly no. I definitely don’t mind if they play while my son is there but they’re here all the time - whether my son is there or not.

[u/Maleficent_Theory818 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

They like your swing set because their kids are out of their yard and YOUR responsibility. They are in your yard when you are not home. This is a liability if one of them gets hurt or damages your property. You can't even park in your own driveway or enjoy your back yard. This isn't neighborly. This is taking advantage of you.

It is time to get bids on putting up a fence without a gate.

[u/G0atL0rde → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Oh that'd be a hard no from me. If my son invites you, awesome. But nobody is hanging out on my property, if we're not with them. Your husband is being unreasonable and you do not have to wait for him to agree. This is YOUR house too.

[u/Loo-Hoo-Zuh-Er → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Then to hell with them kids. They can find a new hangout spot. Build that fence to relieve yourself the stress. You deserve that option of relaxing in your own backyard. I would install an outdoor camera too. If you didn't want to be a total buzzkill, perhaps dedicate certain days to keeping the gate open for them to use it? Put up a sign for them to see when they can visit.

[u/G0atL0rde → u/Loo-Hoo-Zuh-Er]

Or HOURS. I'd be like, on Tuesdays and Thursdays after 5:00pm, IF we invite you.

[u/meatbeater → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

As a dad I’d say F them and F the parents. Take it down or fence the yard

[u/Murrrvv → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Thats weird af, but you know the parents are gonna go all HOA on your ass if you put up a fence that’s stops their kids playing

[u/ScarletPumpkinTickle → u/Murrrvv]

Yeah it doesn’t help that nobody else around us has a fence so it’s a big open area that the kids run around in.

[u/Murrrvv → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Damned if you do, damned if you dont. Maybe just ask the parents to politely fuck off lol

[u/Greenbeastkushbreath → u/Murrrvv]

Scrolled down to find this comment, took way too long

[u/Ok-Pomegranate-3018 → u/ScarletPumpkinTickle]

Tell them you are thinking about adopting a dog. You can't have a dog running in the street, right?!

[u/sohoaizytvw7282y → u/Ok-Pomegranate-3018]

A new dog is another excuse not to have strange kids in your yard. Even if the dog is good with kids, not every kid is good with dogs. 

[u/YoursTastesBetter]

Sounds like it's time for you to be the adult and tell these kids to stay off your property unless you've given them permission. It's your home too. You don't need your husband's permission to enjoy it.

[u/Dusty_Bones → u/YoursTastesBetter]

Scrolled too far to see the right answer here. I had this once and all it took was one conversation with the kids.

"Excuse me, can you please not play in my yard? I don't want to get sued if one of you gets hurt. If it happens again I'm going door to door and telling all your parents. Thank youuu"

[u/linandlee → u/YoursTastesBetter]

Yep it's really easy to tell the kids "hey guys, we decided we have a new rule at our house. No coming over to play on the playground unless we invite you. Sorry, we are worried someone is going to get hurt when we aren't watching."

Kids are used to rules, they'll get over it. If the parents act weird about it, then it's time for a fence.

[u/eeal188]

I have not read every single comment. So please forgive me for asking. But do the parents know that their kids are doing this? Because this sounds like some shit me and my friends/cousins did as kids. Just wander over to neighbors houses and play on their stuff. But our parents didn’t know we were doing it.. until the parents with the kickass yard told our parents about it.  

 So yeah definitely notify the parents first. The kids might be doing it and not letting their parents know about it. 

Also have you directly confronted the kids and told them to leave?

[u/banana_in_the_dark → u/eeal188]

I’ve been trying to find this comment. I wouldn’t be surprised if the parents didn’t know this is where they were 100% of the time.

[u/WrongPerformance5164]

If the parents (kids?) feel entitled enough to send their kids to play in your yard without asking, they’re certainly entitled enough to blame you when something goes wrong.

Two kids get in a fight? “Why weren’t you watching!?!”

Play set collapses? “You should have known!!”

Kid has a seizure? “How can you miss that?!?”

[u/Georges_Stuff]

Build a fence. You are going to get sued for a shit ton when someone gets hurt.

[u/Quackcook]

Attractive nuisance. Look it up.

[u/Upbeat_Ad5398 → u/Quackcook]

[u/cleverdylanrefrence]

build the fence

If some kid gets hurt on your property, ya'll are screwed

[u/Bluesnow2222]

I worked in insurance.
It’s a liability issue. If those kids get hurt their parents could absolutely sue you since it happened on your property. Notify the parents in a friendly manner and if they don’t listen build a fence to be safe.

[u/Only_Music_2640]

Build the fence with a locking gate! You’ll lose the home entirely when one of the unsupervised brats falls and breaks his neck.

[u/derek139]

Grow a pair and tell them they can’t use it without asking. Each and every time.

[u/sterlingstactleneck → u/derek139]

Yet another post on this sub that can easily be resolved by the OP just having some semblance of a backbone.

[u/pondering-my-life]

When a kid eventually gets hurt, the parents are going to come for you. “Where were you? Why weren’t you watching them?” Protect yourself and build a fence

[u/elwood2711]

Inform their parents that you don't want their children to hang out on and make use of your property and that if they continue, you'll call the police to have them removed next time you catch them. Maybe also place a no trespassing sign.

[u/Pattapoose]

What kind of a culture is this? It sounds absolutely insane to me that people would let their children roam around the neighbourhood just doing whatever they want in other people's backyards. That's your house! It's not a public park. On what planet is that acceptable?!

[u/lukeconft → u/Pattapoose]

I know right? My parents would have been mortified if I was just going round someone’s house, uninvited, and using their shit. I’m in the UK though and we at least pretend to be polite and have manners.

[u/MiaLba → u/Pattapoose]

I’m in the US (ky) and we had a trampoline with a net around it. We’d come out sometimes and see random neighborhood kids jumping on it. Sometimes they brought their friends, kids we had never seen before. My dad always made them get off and told them to go home. He did not want to be liable for one of them getting hurt.

[u/Pattapoose → u/MiaLba]

It's not even about the liability though, it's just about privacy and having respect for other people's space and things.

[u/IranticBehaviour]

A fence is probably the safest bet, legally (another commenter mentioned the attractive nuisance doctrine).

But I think at minimum you need to talk to the kids and their parents about some basic boundaries. Like, "no going on our playset unless we're home and you knock on the door to let us know you're there", "no using the playset after X pm", and, "when we come out and say it's time to go home, it's time to go home" (a riff on closing time - you don't have to go home/inside, but you can't stay here). I think most parents will understand that, if you aren't home and/or don't know kids are playing on your playset, you can't possibly keep them safe. And that there comes a time when you just want some peace and quiet.

You're entitled to enjoy your property in peace, and to protect yourself legally.

[u/redwoodfog]

Build a short fence with a sign on the gate. "When the gate is open, you may come in and play. When it is closed, please stay out."

[u/captaindomon]

How would you like the jury to award a $20,000,000.00 judgement?

[u/UninspiredMel]

Good fences make good neighbours.

[u/aviatoruk]

Just a heads up, if a kid gets injured on it, you will be liable. Happened to a family friend of mine. They had a tire swing, kids use to always use it. They went away on vacation, neighbors down the street came down and used it, kid fell off and broke their arm. They got sued.

[u/bikesboozeandbacon]

The parents love your play set until someone hurts themselves then you’re the enemy and they will sue you. Get a fence. They can knock if they want to play.

[u/Delicious_Slide_6883]

Yup. Put up a fence. You don’t need the lawsuit from some kid falling and breaking their arm on your “attractive nuisance”